Foalhood Friendship: Stella's Story

by Princess Estrella

Chapter 5: An Unexpected Absence

The next day at school, Stella was practically running down her own mother on the way to class.

Princess Luna chuckled. “Stella, slow down. Your classroom hasn’t moved since you came home yesterday.”

Stella’s face had a look of urgency. “But I have to get there quick! My friends are waiting for me!”

“Daughter, you’re fifteen whole minutes early for classes. And you’re not twenty hooves from your classroom door. Believe me, you won’t be losing any time.”

In her many years of life, Princess Luna had quite forgotten that the concepts of time were different to a three year old. Instead of slowing down, young Stella rushed down the hall to her classroom door and hopped up and down to reach the doorknob, in her excitement forgetting that she had only to use her magic.

Her mother facilitated by using her own magic to open the door.

“Thanks mom!” Stella was bouncing with excitement.

“You’re welcome. Have a good day, my daughter.” Luna closed the door and walked away.

Stella looked through the room for her friends, but only saw Copper Flame sitting by himself. This was unusual, considering that so far the four of them had done everything together. Why’s he alone? She walked over to Copper. “Hi, Copper! Where’s Silver and Star?”

“I don't know. I haven't seen them either.” He looked a little worried.

Miss Block was at the edge of the classroom supervising the foals as they happily played about.

“Maybe Miss Orange Block knows.” Stella tilted her head back towards where Miss Orange Block was standing. She and Copper both approached her.

Stella looked up at Miss Block. “Miss Orange Block?”

“Hello, my little ponies. How are you today?”

“We’re fine.” Copper frowned. “But we were wondering where Silver Light and Star Song were.”

“Oh. That…” Miss Orange Block looked suddenly sullen.

Stella scrunched her eyebrows in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. But there’s something I have to tell all of you.” This was going to be the hardest part of Miss Orange Block’s day. She walked to the front of the classroom and called to the foals. “Everypony! Everypony, please, eyes on me!”

The foals in the class all slowly stopped their playtime and paid their full attention to Miss Block.

“Everypony, I have some sad news today; two of our friends, Star Song and Silver Light, are in the hospital.”

A whoosh of hushed gasps swooped through the classroom.

Stella's eyes widened. “Oh no! What happened to them?”

“Please, stay calm, Stella.” Miss Orange Block was worried too, but tried not to show it. “I’m not sure exactly what happened, but today, I think, is a good day to take a field trip and visit our friends in the hospital. So, without further ado– please, everypony line up at the door, and I’ll take you to the buses that are waiting for us outside.

Following after their teacher, the students were led outside, where they boarded an extra long carriage that was just big enough for all of them to fit inside.

Stella took her seat next to Copper, and the two foals waited in anticipation to visit their friends.

“This was just after you all visited me yesterday. Do you think it was something I did?”

“Come on. Don’t be silly. I was with you guys yesterday, and I’m fine. They probably just got sick, or something.”

Stella frowned.

I don't know… If it was my fault, I don't know if I could ever forgive myself.

The team of pegasi at the front of the bus spread their wings and took off for the hospital.

---

After the carriage landed, the foals were all led into the hospital lobby.

Miss Block walked up to the reception desk. “Hello. We’re here to see Silver Light and Star Song.”

“I’m sorry, but Silver Light can’t take visitors right now.” The information pony was a white mare with a pink mane. “She’s been moved to intensive care, and won’t be seeing anypony for a while. But Star Song is available, if you want to see her. She’s in room 207 on the second floor.”

Miss Orange Block led the foals away, not knowing that Stella and Copper had overheard what she discussed with the receptionist.

“What’s ‘intensive care’ mean?” Copper raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar term.

“I don’t know. But it can’t be good if she’s not allowed to see anypony.” Stella’s eyes were filled with worry.

The class filed up a flight of stairs, and were led down the hall to the room the receptionist told them about.

There, lying in a tiny bed with her parents by her side, was Star Song.

“Star Song, look who’s here.” Star’s father shared her purple coat but had a dark blue mane and tail.

Star Song turned her head, and smiled at the sight of all of her classmates in the doorway. “Everypony! Come in!”

The entire class crowded around the bed, happily greeting their classmate. Happiest of all were her two friends.

“Are you okay?” Stella was so worried that her right eye was now twitching, a habit she had picked up from Twilight's many visits to the castle.

“Yeah. But I had a bad ‘lergic’ action. I’m itchy, puffy, and my face turned all purple.”

“But you're already purple.” Copper’s remark was tactless as usual.

Stella’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Copper! You don’t just tell somepony that they're already purple.”

Copper rolled his eyes sarcastically. “Sorry.”

Stella got the feeling that he didn't really mean it, but she let it go. She turned back to Star. “How’d this happen?”

“The doctor said it was an ‘ant-a-flactic’ reaction from bug bites. He thinks it was those ants that bit me yesterday,”

So, it was something that had to do with Stella. Upon that realization she was struck with an incredible guilt. Especially after Star had done so much to make cleaning up Stella’s mess more fun than it was.

But Star didn’t seem quite as bothered as Stella was.

“Anyway, they're gonna let me go in a few days, when my skin gets flat again. But Silver has to stay.” Star was oblivious to Stella's guilt.

The news mildly disturbed some of the students. Stella especially. Silver had been bitten by the ants too when she was helping to clean her room, and a lump rose in her throat when she asked her next question.

“Why not? What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t remember what word he used, but the doctor told me that it means she can’t fight germs, and that even being near other ponies could make her sicker.”

Author's Note:

Sorry I couldn't upload yesterday! The internet went out for hours.

Comments

[Dreams of Ponies]

This review is brought to you by the group A for Effort
Name of Story: Foalhood Friendship: Stella's Story
Score out of Ten: 7.25

Been a while since I've sat down to review... let's hope I can get all of mine done today. Anyway, on to the show!

So, Stella, huh... An alicorn OC that didn't instantly give me cancer. What a nice change! We're to explore with her the magic of meeting friends and going to school for the first time, with non other than Princess Luna as her mother. Is it cliche? Maybe... but cliches can work if properly executed.

Grammar and Spelling: 9/10: I was relatively pleased and only found a few minor flubs as I went through. Nothing too egregious, good job with the editing!

Theme: 7.5/10: As the story is still ongoing, I can't give a full idea of what the total overarching theme is, so I have to work with what I got. Friendship, learning, cheese pizza and cleaning your room, not a bad way to spend your days.

Prose and characterization: 6.5/10: The striking lack of 'said' tags was actually rather refreshing. Some of the descriptions and dialog were crisp and clear, which kind of caused a problem throughout. You place Stella's age at three, which is dangerous because it carries some preconceptions about how childish she should be. A lot of your internal thoughts and dialog come out as a child of a much older mind-state. I am perfectly fine reading that story, but maybe age her up a bit in that case, as well as the other foals.

Actual Story: Gonna leave this one out for now, since it's incomplete and I can't give a fair scale based on what is to be seen.

Nitpicks: Alicorn princess did not cause any sort of disruption when introduced to the class. Are they just that common now? Really? She thought the pizza was poisoned? There wasn't even any broccoli on it...

To summarize: This is a cute slice of life that could spend more time taking its time with each friendship and activity. Really get in there and explore likes and dislikes of all the characters, learning the quirks and creating some investment from the readers.

[leeroy_gIBZ]

Reviewed.

[Smug Anime Girl]

Please put this in a few groups, this deserves more views!