A decade has passed and while Chrysalis perished along with her industrial empire, her two sons were granted to live a, mostly, average childhood. Under the love of their caring father and under the roof of Thorax's new hive, Calyx and Spiracles found themselves busy pursuing their own interests with a fair share of friends, carefree and totally oblivious of their past as heirs of the industrial nightmare every changeling wants to forget.
Unfortunately, as the three spent some time out of the hive, a misunderstanding led to the abrupt arrest of the father. Desperate, the brothers rushed to the woods of Blood Oak in search of the supposed help. Not fully aware that remnants of their true past waited there for them to confront, and some of its strange inhabitants will try to bring the worst out of the two.
Edited by: KorenCZ11
Thanks to QueenChrysalisForever for providing the names of the brothers.
Cover art by me.
Alright, this is well written (IMO) but I've noticed a few mistakes here and there (example: “We’re taking you under our custody, changeling. Said the) but, otherwise, a nice read.
9790475
Fixed that, thanks for letting me know. Glad U like it too!
9790531
Well, it has potential. There are also some grammatical errors in here, that are much more noticeable, in the chapter's end but nothing that can turn me off.
I'll be tracking this.
Alright, after reading this, I think your main issue is that the pacing is too fast overall. The premise is good, the characters aren't bad but the rushed pacing makes them seem questionable, regarding their rationale, with Facia (the hippogriff) changing her mindset too quickly and accepting those ideas with no question, making her very hard to accept as a well written character.
I think this is your first multi-chapter story and I think you did well on keeping it focused but the pacing still needs an improvement.