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I used to stare at that "Block RainbowDoubleDash" button, and I still can't help but wonder what would have happened if I'd clicked it...


Fizzlepop Berrytwist suffered a terrible tragedy as a foal and nearly lost her way until a chance meeting with Shining Armor showed her another path in life - as a member of the Night Guard of Luna. However, in her efforts to prove herself as being up to the task of being a Night Guard, she has pushed herself practically to the breaking point. As her commanding officers try and sort out her unique situation and if the Guard really is the place for her, she is given a simple assignment: keep an eye on Trixie Lulamoon, Princess Luna's new apprentice, as she spends a day in Canterlot.

This won't end well...

A Lunaverse story, and a prequel to the main series. However this is being written in such a way that new readers should have no trouble diving in.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 23 )

The trotting speed requirements were based somewhat on real world horse speeds, but between the fact that these are, after all, little ponies, plus the fact that I know nearly nothing about real-world horses, I’m sure they’re off. If anyone wants to provide some guesses for more accurate horse speeds, I’m all ears.

Ah, pony nudity taboos. Truly strange and bizarre in their application.

I’m sure that the answer to that is kept somewhere next to why the sky is blue.

And, wherever Twilight Sparkle was at the time, she felt the strangest urge to lecture her brother about Rayneigh scattering.

She’d heard that Luna had personally designed the armor and its glamor herself, and could only assume that the Princess had been going through a phase at the time.

The princess could neither confirm not deny that.

Nicely organic way to present Fizzlepop's altered history.

I caught that Egophiliac reference. Nice touch.

Incomprehensible Creole filly Trixie is a strangely adorable mental image.

Seeing how Fizzlepop plays out in the Lunaverse should be fascinating indeed. Looking forward to it.


I caught that Egophiliac reference.

I’m...not sure that I did. What reference are you referring to?

Oh right, that! Yeah, I had them cameo as far back as Helping...Hands?

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

Yay... this was a pretty fun start to things. The bits about tribalism between Nocturn and Fizzlepop/Tempest were nicely played out. Potential parallels to racial segregation in our world are of course obvious, but at the same time it very much is a reality in Equestria that three tribe could never really be held to entirely the same standard, what when 1/3 ponies can fly while another 1/3 can levitate objects with their minds, so on and so forth. Splitting those differences while trying to treat every one fairly has to be a tricky balancing act.

The show gag was cute, and maybe not even entirely unreasonable despite the fact that as AJ would put it, ponies don't normally wear clothes. After all when wet fur is matted down certain... anatomical features might be more visible than they otherwise casually would be.

Trixie's accent did catch me a little off guard, but I suppose it makes sense and even makes this glimpse into her past all the more distinct, if a little hard to parse.

Looking, Fizzlepop found herself looking at Nocturne,

You might want to try cleaning this segment up, repeated word in proximity like that can make a sentence awkward to read.

Oh, and about the distance speed thing. I couldn't really find any numbers specifically for ponies, but a apparently a typical horse marathon is 26 miles run in just a little over an hour, with longer marathon being a 100 miles run over the course of a day with intermittent rests. However, both of those would probably be more akin to the collapse from exhaustion after words types of exertion. A more average distance a horse can be expected to travel in one day is 20-30 miles, with a well trained horse able to travel about twice that.

Of course how any of this translates to ponies, especially "little" ones is harder to say. On the one hoof they've got shorter legs and so probably can't go nearly as fast, but on the other hoof their smaller frames might give them more stamina over distance. Of further consideration, since MLP equines posses various other human-like characteristics, it might be entirely unreasonable to average horse and human physical capabilities together.

Or, just stick with what you've got. Equestria is after all its own world that can be entirely distinct from our own, and despite appearances its residents are really more so just pony shaped aliens.

Well, I’m also specifically using a trot, which is more akin to a jog than full-on running (you’re describing a gallop). From what I’ve learned, there are four gaits for horses: walk, trot, canter, and gallop. The low-end speed for each (which is what I based these on, assuming that the low end represents smaller horses) are:

Walk: 4 mph
Trot: 8 mph
Canter: 12 mph
Gallop: 25 mph

When soldiers in the army “run” as part of their exercise, based on what I’ve observed, they’re really jogging, or at least aren’t full-on running at their best possible speed, since that is exhausting and expecting a soldier to full-on run for any significant length of time is a good way to end up with a dead soldier. So since a trot is roughly analogous to a jog, I used that as the base for a normal, everyday pony. Since the Night Guard are supposed to be elite, though, I added arbitrary miles per hour to each to represent that.

But again, I know nothing about horses. Or soldiering, really. So I’ll be glad for any help offered.

Potential parallels to racial segregation in our world are of course obvious

While yes, to be honest I’m also thinking of sexual segregation to an extent. The standards for men and women in the Armed Forces are different — higher for men, and few women can consistently meet the male standards.

It’s a touchy subject, obviously. But, that’s why I’m looking at it through the lens of ponies and analogy. And also not stating my opinions on the matter, just telling a story.

An interesting introduction to Tempest.

And Trixie has a point. Some of the names of these guards are pretty unusual.
After all, what kind of name is "Nocturne" for a guard?

Don't think it's an especially good idea of Shining, Fizzle and Opal to be giving Lil' Trixie pointers on how to get away with impersonating a Princess, though.
... eh, what's the worst thing that could happen?

I considered that and I’m actually considering adding a line to the effect of Luna having a standing order to the ponies working in the castle to actually tell Trixie how to improve her magic when she asks and is caught in the act. Or at least her Night Guard.

I mean, it's under the general heading of "Magic Practice", she's in the kid age range, and she was even using it to get an escort instead of breezing out of the castle alone. I'm sure there's some kind of charge for impersonating the Princess, but it's not like she was wandering into the Vault Of Dangerous Stuff or searching up state secrets to sell.
Given her characterisation in the Lunaverse, the adorable shine wears off pretty quick.

Can't see that going wrong, either.

"Wait a minute, Your Highness. Are you asking us to be a deliberately bad influence on Trixie?"
"No. Just a creative influence."
"... and the difference is?"
"*Luna smirks knowingly* Up to you to decide."

:rainbowlaugh: Now I so badly want to see a cake shop owner named Bloody Harvest. They could have grown up on a Blood Orange farm before discovering that their talent lay in making cakes.

Loving this so far. I'm really invested in Berrytwist's plight but young Trixie just stole the show. It's just so much fun seeing this little prench trouble maker let loose and seeing how everyone reacts to her shenanigans.

Looking forward to seeing more

This was fun. Think perhaps it could've used a more introductory chapter and a...normal day with Fizzle before we got into her nearly killing herself in over extertion. But all in all this was a good read, and an interesting add to your universe. Thanks for sharing!

It’s not complete; there’s still more to come.

Yeah, once I added Trixie-as-Luna to the scene the words started flying from my fingers. Trixie is always fun to write for.

Okay, yeah, yoinking this.

Canterlot Castle had only been renovated to have hot running water a few years ago, but to Princess Luna’s credit the first place to get the showers had been the barracks for her Night Guard, a reward to her elite corps of bodyguards for nearly a millennium of loyal service to the Crown.

I'm a little surprised hot running water is such a new thing, didn't the Romans have that?

Interesting in universe discussion about the various tribes, given the different physical characteristics that has to be something that comes up again and again. I'm a bit surprised that the Pegasus requirement actually has a land speed requirement I'd think everything would be flight speed.

The Romans did, but they achieved it with manual labor from slaves. Fizzy here is referring to something established back in Apprenticeship, that Canterlot Castle had just been renovated to have hot-and-cold water mixer taps, which in the real world were invented in 1880.

Though now that I re-read that, it’s not entirely clear. I’ll edit it in a bit.

I realize that. Just meant that I would've liked more her as a younger filly to start. Rather then starting in the middle of things. Even if it was just a shorter scene to start the piece. Think it would've added more to this.

So... the punishment for murder is... like, two centuries in stone or... ?

Fizzlepop will probably not kill Trixie. Probably.


Okay, so I've never seen the movie, full confession there. I'm liking Fizzlepop so far. She's a real determinator. Armet... something about her is whispering, "Punch her," in my ear. Then again that could just be me. :p Trixie was great. Her accented speech was friggin' adorable.

Creole Trixie is one of those things that just works once you see it. I look forward to future installments.

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