Hi! I write about ponies doing spooky things! And sometimes in space, too! If want to donate a dollar for the cause, I have a Ko-fi! https://ko-fi.com/vinnrosta
After the Apple Family barn collapses yet again, Applejack starts rebuilding it... except nopony else lends a hoof to help. Before the night is through, Applejack will make sure they'll be examining her hard work in detail... for a chance to escape.
The tag is for implied death.
Completely written in two hours after hearing this song for the very first time (seriously how have I not come across it earlier?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M05Fq7U9x8Y
Page generated in 0.1 seconds
Total duration
810 users online
686,588 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice
alllllrighty then!
....strangely enough, I half expected AppleJigsaw here.
I half expected the reveal to be Rarity because of that line.
9774254
I tried to stay as ambiguous as to who was on the receiving end of this story just because I didn't want to focus on any sort of shock factor. I wanted it to stay thematically dark and spooky, with a little bit of a disturbing undertone.
Also, this is probably the strangest reception I've had to a story. So many people favourited it, and yet the story has more dislikes than likes (at the time that I'm writing this, idk what the future holds). It's really giving me mixed signals on whether I should continue stuff like this or not.
I like this murderous Applejack.
9774312
Should do a sequel say her family confront her in the aftermath...yes they are dead and burned away what better way for Apple Jack to meet her end, by being welcomes to the family she burned to nothing.
9774312
It's a very niche category, to be sure. A lot of people who don't care for grimdark poni are going to see it and downvote. But many of those who do like it are likely to show great support for it.
I was expecting zombified Apples or something. Straight murder works too, I guess.
9774312
9774447
I think the main reason the story's so disliked is that it's hard to see Applejack actually doing something like this. Time and time again, the show has stressed how much she cares about the farm and her family, and to see her throw that all away in the most violent, over-the-top way possible feels... wrong. And not the good kind of wrong, if you get what I'm saying.
It also doesn't really help that only half a sentence is used to explain why she's resorted to such an extreme action. Or that the above paragraph's criticism was preemptively addressed in the Author's Note, only to be disregarded in a somewhat flippant manner.
I don't know, those are just my random thoughts on this.
9774613
I don't know what to say man, I just wanted to write the story itself. I had a bit of a hard time coming up with a believable reason it would have happened myself.
Guess I'm almost as good as some of the show's writer's then xD
Laughs in Starlight (it's a joke don't hate me)
9774699
No worries! Personally, I thought this story was alright; I was just trying to give the hypothetical perspective of one of the people who disliked it. If it's any consolation, I think you did a really good job with your word choice and imagery.
I'm relatively okay with the whole Starlight thing (one of the benefits of being a latebird, I suppose), but I'm not going to flip out at you if you kinda dislike it.
...And seeing as I jumped ship from the Star Wars fandom and landed here, you're being 100x more hospitable than the sort of stuff I'm used to.
Laughs in Rian Johnson (it's a joke don't hate me)
9774728
Laughing in Rian Johnson?
https://images.app.goo.gl/6pViH2pWDctEwMzL7
The story is alright. It's just really hard to see Applejack being murderous- she's probably the most mentally stable pony in the show (She has never panicked or freaked or had some form of a meltdown ever seen in an episode. If she has, very little.) Heck, she barely ever sheds a tear in the show. It would be even harder to find reason why too, it's been shown several times how much she loves her family and barn. But spot on the descriptions, don't let those dislikes put you down! Gee, I wonder how Applejack will deal with her family haunting her for the rest of her life?
I mean, the story isn't bad. I just can't see AJ as doing this. The only issue I have with this fic is that you chose her as the murderer.
And who in the Apple Family has blue eyes? As far as I know, they're all green eyed.
Unless...
Oh crap. Nevermind. It just hit me who it was.
Excellently told story, btw...just the little thing with AJ doing it is kinda meh. But it was good.
I like this. It's short, but well written. Applejack singing 'Raise this barn' is a really cute way to advance the story.
I understand it's hard to see Applejack doing something like this, but coming from a happy 'friendship beats all' show isn't any kind of true horror out of character?
Hi! I loved this story! I did a reading of it on my YouTube channel, I'll leave a link below if you'd like to check it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q3KWaDRz4Y&t=10s
Unfortunately, this story just didn't do it for me. She says she's the last apple but you said she saw a blue eye. So she kills her entire extended family or she kills her friends? There is no backstory or reason given as to why applejack would kill anyone, and that's the biggest factor missing from this story.
I do not dislike stories out of respect for the author.
9952205
First off, thank you for the feedback, it does help me find out more about what i did right or wrong in a story and helps me much more than a dislike. With that being said though, the dislike button is there for a reason, so if you thought the story is bad you're more than welcome to hit that thumbs down.
Regarding the criticism itself! I fully understand and am fully aware that the story has a ridiculous premise and doesn't read well because of it, however, I mostly just wanted to write a short, dark fic. Now that's not much of an excuse, but I wrote this story for the sole purpose of basing it off the pun that is the title, and I came up with the pun and wrote the whole thing in two hours.
So while I appreciate the feedback, this story in particular will not be getting any changes or revisions as it was just a guilty pleasure of mine to write a pun.
9952327
My bad, i didn't articulate what i meant correctly. I don't think the story deserves a dislike. It is well written, just not my cup of tea. 🍵
9952564
Oof. Regardless, I indeed put the barest effort into creating a reason for Applejack's behaviour in the story, so I do see where you're coming from.