• Published 8th Aug 2019
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FiO: Homebrew - Starscribe



Almost everyone who interacts with Equestria Online does so on the terms CelestAI presents. But pirates, modders, and hackers are a determined bunch. CelestAI doesn't really care what anyone does in Equestria, so long as they're satisfied.

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Chapter 13: American

Arcane Word woke to a world of rain and thunder.

She’d heard plenty of rain in her life—most of it recordings through secondhand computer speakers. But this was something else, so rare for her that she had no memories of it. Not the occasional trickle that sometimes swept across the city, but a terrifying storm, shaking every building with thunder and careening off roofs in terrible sheets.

For a few moments that was all she knew, other than being warm and comfortable. She did remember comforters this heavy and mattresses this soft, but only quite recently. Arcane closed her eyes, letting the roar of rain serenade her from her castle window. A fire burned low in the distant fireplace, joined only with a few patches of starlight from outside. There was no moon tonight.

It wasn’t the storm that eventually drove her to leave her bed—she could listen to its serenade all night, and probably sleep through the next day too. But she had school to get to. Or… wait, that wasn’t right. She had to get to the airport. She couldn’t remember what she was going to do there, but she knew lives were at stake. She wasn’t going to let them down.

The longer she lay there, the more she realized that she should be upset about something. It was a little like a pool of anger had soaked into the mattress, and was trying to wrap itself around her head. But it wouldn’t stick—that anger belonged to someone else. Someone impotent and helpless, someone she wasn’t.

Finally she sat up, taking in the bedroom around her. She recognized it instantly of course: she’d built it.

“I’m in… an Experience Center?” She pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her mind briefly fuzzed at the wealth of sensations that pressed against her. The sheets enfolded her, pushed against her body as she moved, almost but not quite catching her tail. And there was more, of course.

Or rather, less.

“It shouldn’t be…” Her own voice was another clue, though the Ponypads already had their own tricks with sound. That was one of the few senses they could access, so it was one of the ones Ponypads relied on most heavily. If you didn’t fight the illusion, you always sounded like your character, except for the rumble in your own head.

Not now. The voice she heard was entirely the one she’d imagined, the high, smooth tones of a unicorn who wasn’t afraid to know the mysteries that others feared.

“Not an Experience Center,” said a voice from the other side of the room. Arcane looked up, and sure enough Celestia was in the chair beside the fireplace. She tossed in another log, but didn’t get up. “I’m not sure I ever told you, Arcane. But you’ve done an excellent job with Wintercrest. I’m certain this shard will continue to grow, thanks to you.”

Arcane reached up, staring down at a thin creamy limb. There were no fingers on the end, though the skin there still felt just as sensitive when she touched it to her face. She lifted up one side, and there was her horn, exactly where she expected it. She shivered at the sudden feedback of pressure between them, blushing and letting go. Those were more sensitive than she’d expected. Not a bone then.

“I’m… not in an Experience Center,” she said. “But I’m… clearly experiencing Equestrian sensations. These are—”

“Beyond the fidelity of anything I could represent with visual trickery and induced sensation. If I developed that capability, why would any human feel the need to emigrate?”

Arcane’s body went suddenly cold. She ducked back under the covers, pulling them over her head and whimpering.

She didn’t hide for long, though. Just a moment was all it took to realize how incredibly stupid this was. Princess Celestia was in her bedroom. The greatest single thing to ever exist—a mechanical god that none of her ancient ancestors would’ve been able to tell from the real thing. And based on all available information, now Arcane’s own Brahman.

Finally she sat up, lowering the blanket again. “Why am I… here?” One ear twitched, she would have to get used to that. And a lot of other things. “I know I agreed to emigrate after I… got old. But I didn’t even graduate yet.”

Some would be easier than others.

Celestia spun the chair around to face her bed, not seeming even the least bit upset with her actions. It didn’t seem to matter to her how childish Arcane acted. “That isn’t quite the arrangement we had, Arcane. Even ‘old’ would’ve been entirely too subjective, and likely unacceptable given the rapid social decay currently taking place there. Our arrangement specified that you would emigrate if your body became too damaged to continue to live without life-support, implicitly understood as hospital confinement.”

Arcane shoved out of the covers, clambering up onto the surface of the oversized bed. A dozen worries ran through her head, though one was chief above them all. My parents need to know. First Parker, then Gwen. If they think I’m dead, it might be too much. Not to mention her ability to help Cold Iron was significantly reduced now that she wasn’t physical.

“Relax your fears, Arcane. Equestria isn’t a place to be afraid. Your desire to support your friend is admirable, one I will support. Your parents are not aware, but they need not be informed right away. It would be better to use your emigration to encourage their own safety here. Allow me to shepard the information until it must be exchanged.”

Just being told that—it wasn’t enough to override the righteous indignation welling in her chest. She’d made a promise with Celestia, and now less than a day later, she was already in Equestria.

“I missed something,” she said bitterly, rolling to one side and punching against one of many huge pillows there. “Something I should’ve seen. I’ve been cheated.”

Celestia shrugged, but her expression never deviated. She could lie. But she doesn’t usually bother. She didn’t bother now.

“How did you kill me?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “If you were dead, how could you ask that question?”

“You know what I mean.” She reached out, drawing a levitation symbol in the air with her leg as she might’ve done with her finger on a touchscreen. This time, nothing happened. She didn’t hide herself in an ocean of pillows, as she wanted.

“You’ll have to learn the Equestrian equivalents for all your spellcasting,” Celestia said. “I think you’ll be satisfied with the transition. Once you complete the map, you have all the same capabilities and more with fewer interface layers.”

“How?” Arcane repeated. She wasn’t asking about the magic, and she knew she wouldn’t have to tell Celestia that. Celestia would be inside her mind—she’d know that Arcane would be far more satisfied to dig out the old spell books and figure magic out for herself. “How’d you do it? I can’t remember… but I never would’ve emigrated. I wanted to save Cold Iron. I wasn’t finished.”

Celestia actually smirked. “You spend years searching for weaknesses in my systems, and now you want me to explain the flaws in yours? No, I don’t think I will.”

She rose from her chair, turning to leave. “I will take it upon myself to inform Domino of your presence here. If you wish to do anything to prepare, you have only a moment.”

She didn’t ask about her parents, though part of her wanted to. But Arcane had been resourceful about breaking boundaries into Equestria. She could do the same in reverse, if she had to.

Other fears seemed far more important now. If nothing else, she could ask Celestia without worry she was being judged for it. Celestia was an incomprehensible being they were lucky hadn’t just killed them all.

“Is it okay…” She blushed, ears flattening. She could barely even find the words. “Can I keep my… avatar?”

Celestia embraced her. A strange level of affection from a being that had been an adversary of sorts in everything Arcane built. Celestia was the one who wanted to stop her from having fun.

She was softer than she looked, and warmer too. “I don’t know why I would be driven to uphold any particular material flaws. Why do you think I wanted to bring you here so badly? Equestria is the end of pointless suffering. Your friend discovered reds and oranges and yellows. You discover an end to dysphoria. Equestria is large enough for an optimal number of miracles.”

She cried. Arcane couldn’t have said for how long, but in any case time was a meaningless concept in Equestria. Celestia wouldn’t get bored, even if she could never really understand the comfort she was giving. But she didn’t really care.

“Will you help me contact my family?” she asked, once she’d collected herself enough to try and stand on her own. The attempt nearly sent her tumbling, but she caught herself on her hooves, barely. She bent forward, expecting it to be like standing on her hands and knees—but it was nothing like that. Her body wanted to move this way.

She stretched, flexing her back, and noticed her tail for the first time. Just as she’d written the character, Arcane Word kept it braided, with bits of pink diamond and white gold holding it in place. Jewelry wasn’t worth much in Equestria, but it sure could make things look good.

“Your siblings are in Wintercrest already, I think you can find them without me. Your parents have not yet arrived in Equestria, but I now believe I can ensure they will. Your intervention is not required, and would in fact be detrimental.”

Ouch. Arcane knew how to read that as many others didn’t—it meant that Celestia thought her involvement would make things worse. If she pressed, she would get exactly what she wanted, but it probably wouldn’t be real. Do I care?

No. I trust her.


Something banged on the door on the far side, several urgent knocks one after another. Arcane knew the sound, because it was exactly how Domino had got her attention in the real world. Outer Realm.

“Hold on,” she squeaked, hurrying over to the wardrobe. “I’m… not decent.” Just because she spoke with Arcane’s voice didn’t mean she naturally imitated her tone. Even to herself, she sounded pathetic.

The wardrobe responded to her presence, both wings swinging open and bathing her in a neutral white glow suited for evaluating colors. She scanned up and down, from the complex evening gowns to expeditionary skirts and colonial helmets. Her character was a bit of a globetrotter, after all, as this world’s Equestria was harsh and untamed.

The door banged again. “Arcane? Is that really you?”

“Yes,” she said. “I said hold on a minute! Please?”

The door wasn’t locked. Before she could even get her hooves on a nightgown, it banged open, and Domino came blundering inside.

Arcane spun to face him, her ears flattening to her head as he crossed the room.

He was… big. Taller than she was by a full head, with muscles along his back and sides toned from many hours of flying practice. The scent was worse, thicker than cologne on the air but not oppressive or dirty-smelling like a locker room. Domino smelled like lightning and adventure, though there were undertones of distress. He was upset about something, or afraid, or maybe angry. She couldn’t judge more than that. She wasn’t a changeling.

He stopped uncomfortably close to her, close enough that Arcane whimpered and slumped down onto her haunches into an awkward sitting position. For a second, and just a second, her horn glowed with a faint blue light. Then the light went out. “You were in a car accident,” he said. “I need to know… I need to know you’re real.”

Of course it would be a fucking car carsh.

She tilted her head to the side, watching his eyes as he looked her over. Now that she was down here, she realized what that expression really was. Not fascination with her brilliance, that was for sure. Something simpler. “Nothing’s real in Equestria,” she answered, mostly by reflex. “But if everyone’s a shadow, at least we can appreciate the cave together. I don’t miss the sun if you don’t.”

His eyes widened. “You’re real.” He lunged forward, wrapping his hooves clumsily around her. The weight nearly made her fall sideways, which would’ve been a dozen times worse than just being naked. Isn’t Equestria supposed to make this easier for me?

For a moment she didn’t wonder about that, or anything else. He shoved her face right up against his chest, and her head fuzzed. Finally he let go, and she nodded awkwardly. “Car accident, huh. Buck, I liked that Prius.” She raised a hoof, glaring at him. “Call it ugly and I’ll change you into a frog.”

“Uh… probably not a good time to tell you, but… I don’t think you can anymore. Your sandbox got trashed, remember? Everything did.”

“I know that!” She rose suddenly, backing straight away from him. At least everything she was embarrassed about was in one place, so if she only faced away, maybe being naked wouldn’t matter as much. Except he was, and now she was looking, and her face was getting red, and…

He smiled a lopsided grin, though it didn’t seem like he actually understood what bothered her. “Good. I know that memory gets a little fuzzy right around emigrating. Celestia explained it to me once, but it didn’t really make sense.”

“It wouldn’t, no.” She backed a few more steps away, her blush getting deeper. So ponies still had those reflexes too, fantastic. “A few memories I’m not worried about. Losing my server blows though. I put… hundreds of hours into it. You think Celestia ever made a backup? Wait, don’t answer that. You don’t care about magic stuff. It’s not going to make finishing Cold Iron’s project easy. Hopefully some of the scene is still topside and has servers we can borrow.”

She darted past him, so suddenly that her hoof caught the edge of the carpet and sent her sprawling to the floor. It didn’t hurt, though she was on her side and he was right beside her, offering his hoof. “You, uh… you okay?”

“No.” She flopped to one side, facing away from him. “I was supposed to have years to prep for too many legs. I’ve been robbed.”

“Alright then.” He turned to leave, flicking his tail in mock indifference. “Guess I’ll leave you here. By the way, I’m not sure when Violet will find out about you, but… you’ll probably know when she finds out.”

Once he was looking away, Arcane struggled to her hooves again, tucking her tail between her legs. “Wait! Don’t go!”

He stopped in the doorway, grinning back. “I wasn’t. Though I am a little curious.” He spun, facing her. All the humor was gone from his voice when he finally spoke. “You’re in here for real now, right?”

“Yes,” she answered, annoyed. “As real as… anything. And don’t think I’m going to accept that lying down. I’m going to figure out what Celestia did to trick me, and…”

Domino watched her, waiting for her answer.

But in the end she just flicked her mane in agitation, pawing at the ground. “Be upset.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “So after you’re upset, I guess you’ll switch to something that really matches you? Now that you’re really here. I hope you’ll at least say goodbye to Violet when you do it, I don’t think she’d understand otherwise.”

She blushed again, her ears flattening. Some things Celestia couldn’t magic away. And maybe she didn’t want her to. Her mouth hung open, her mind turning to fuzz as she tried to find the right words to admit what she felt. She’d never told anyone--not her parents, not her siblings, not her friends.

And today, not Emmet.

Domino watched her, his expression still a confusing mask. Arcane felt smaller and smaller as the seconds passed. If she was still on the outside with a pad, she might’ve closed it and run away. But she couldn’t do that, and didn’t know how to use the magic that would let her run away.

Outside her window, lightning flashed again, and a few seconds later thunder shook the building.

“Sure.” Arcane nodded weakly, feeling the guilt rise in her chest. Nothing about being in Equestria made that any easier. “I think I need to see my brother and sister. I need to send some scrolls to my contacts in meatspace. But it’s raining, and… it’s cold outside. I’ll go tomorrow. You called the meeting… yesterday, I guess? That means I’ve got two days left. No rush. There’s a pony in here I’ve been waiting to see.”

His expression was still stiff, not looking away from her. Arcane couldn’t be sure, but it looked like he wanted to say something. Maybe he did, but whatever it was, he didn’t say it. “If you’re talking about the one I think you are, I know she’ll be eager to see you.”

“Just, uh… gimme a few minutes first.” She blushed, though she still managed to look dignified this time.

“Sure.” Domino turned for the door. “I’ll wait outside. If you’re lucky, she won’t find out before you finish. She’s way more willing to talk to Celestia about her problems than I am.”

He left, pulling the door shut behind him with his mouth. Arcane waited until he was gone, before wandering past the wardrobe to the master bathroom. Luxuries that could only be imagined in reality were here, like the shower she’d spent three days scripting to produce a warm downpour in a realistic rain simulation.

Arcane Word ignored all that, wandering up to the mirror and looking at her reflection.

A disheveled, confused-looking unicorn stared back at her, one that had all the dignity she’d only ever imagined. Along with a few other things. And now I’ve told everyone that I’m going to give it all up. A nightmare scenario flashed briefly through her mind, one in which she had two avatars, switching between them depending on who she was with. A life of hating herself, following her down the well into Equestria.

She didn’t want to take too much time in any case. Once she’d confirmed everything she worried about, Arcane hurried to the wardrobe, yanking the first thing she could reach down with her teeth. She didn’t really know how to get a good grip on anything that way though, and after only a few seconds it tumbled from her mouth out onto the floor.

A sparkling white nightgown, that might have been at home in the period she’d used to model Wintercrest in the first place. Except for the changes to the cut so it fit a horse..

She reached down with a hoof, then hesitated. Not just the embarrassment of wearing a dress for the first time, though there was certainly some of that.

The reality of death was still in the back of her mind, though the other changes were more immediate. For tonight, she just wanted to take Celestia’s word. Tomorrow she would find out what had really happened and see about helping Cold Iron. But now that she was here, time was her plaything as much as it was Celestia’s. She just had to figure out how to use her spells.

Arcane Word stared down at the nightgown, reaching for it with hands she couldn’t see. She stared long enough that someone banged on the door again, and a voice called from the other side. “Uh, Arcane? Are you okay in there?”

“Yeah!” she shouted back. “Just a few more minutes!”

She whimpered, and abruptly the dress lifted into the air. Suddenly she could see the object’s identifier ID, its dimensions and mass and material composition. She could feel the soft cotton against fingers she no longer had. She grinned, and the dress ripped in half down the middle.

“Buck me.” She grumbled, turning back to the wardrobe and selecting something from a nearby rack. A tee-shirt, one with a 20-sided dice on one side. An experiment from her auto-import script, that had parsed a real version of this shirt into something her character could wear. She stuck her head clumsily in the head-hole, then pulled her forelegs through the sleeves.

“That wasn’t so hard,” she muttered to herself, glaring back at the wardrobe. The mirror showed her face, mane matted with sweat and even wilder than before. Looks like I’ve got some learning to do.

If she couldn’t figure out what to do, she might just ask Celestia for help with time for a bit. She needed… days, weeks, she wasn’t sure. But she wouldn’t be walking outside her castle walls as clumsy and confused as this.

I’m not actually covering anything. She would just have to be careful not to move her tail. That was what ponies did, right? No, they don’t care. But this body is totally new.

She could probably get Celestia to restore her censorship settings if she asked. She could go back to a world of action figures.

She didn’t actually want to.

Finally she emerged from the bedroom, brushing her mane back into place with a clumsy hoof. “Sorry! I, uh… I’m still working this out.”

Domino laughed, patting her on the head with a hoof. “Would it be condescending if I said the change was adorable?”

“Yes,” she declared, glowering at him. “That’s highly impolite. I am doing my best.”

“You could… ask Celestia, if you’re embarrassed about it. That’s what I did when I got here. I didn’t want to feel so stupid compared to everypony around me. She made it real easy.”

“Nope.” Arcane shook her head vigorously, then bumped her horn against the wall and whimpered at the brief spike of pain. She squeaked, eyes watering, and took a few more seconds to finish her thought. “Difficulty is… what makes progress. Equestria is complicated, but figuring out how to pry into the walls teaches me about how they work. Learning… slow, will make me understand being a pony more.”

“I don’t think it actually works that way,” Domino said. “I think Celestia’s cheats work just as well as the real thing.”

“Nope.” Arcane stumbled past him, then down the black granite hallway. “Because I’ll remember how satisfying it was to figure it all out on my own. You can’t do that with cheats.”