Chapter 3
Three years had passed in a slow blur.
A strange yet fitting contradiction for when one such as Discord was involved. Being the ancient entity he was, the passage of time held less meaning for him already. But these ningen, these ninja and their world had made his perception skid and enjoy these days. They were far more memorable than anything he had experienced in an age.
"Muchi-Oji! Muchi-Oji!"
And that was his favorite little skidder.
Discord effortlessly awoke from his nap upon a jello-tree, flying out to the edge of the Forest of Death, and found a three year old blonde trotting to him with a blanket curled around his shoulder.
"Rutty!" Discord greeted as he teleported in front of him, pulling him up into a hug. The blond giggled infectiously as Discord saluted to the hidden ANBU that had watched over the tike on his trip to this lovely named patch of fenced off wilderness. Sensing they were properly alone, he pulled back the toddler and gave him a curious look. "Now what in the name of baloney mushrooms are you doing here? Does Mama Red and Papa Yellow know you're here?" he asked playfully, but got back a sad frown.
"They're fighting again. Kaa-San is still mad about the people Tou-San is letting coming here," Naruto explained sadly, giving him hopeful eyes. "Can I stay the night with you?"
Any other time, it would be massively concerning that a child would rather stay in the Forest of Death instead of with his own parents, but Discord knew it was simply a matter of Naruto feeling safe around him rather than any bad sign of misparenting on Minato or Kushina's part.
Naruto being able to sneak out was either a sign of his potential as a ninja or their acceptance of their son paying him visits when they fought…either or, maybe both, but it wasn't important.
"Of course you can, Naruto," Discord promised before gaining an impish look. "But since we're both awake, how about we take a little fly!"
Naruto laughed away his sorrows as he found himself flying on the back of the draconequus and going high into the sky. For some, it'd be like a fairy tale. For Naruto, it was just another week in his life. Within no time, the blond human found himself seated atop a cloud with a chabudai of green and pink zig-zagging lines between them. "So we're Fire, and I know the other big four are Water, Wind, Earth, and Lightning," Discord mused as he stared at the map on the table.
"Why are we called Fire though?" Naruto asked curiously, tilting his head.
"I guess there used to be too many forest fires in the summer," Discord joked as Naruto giggled like only a young child was allowed to. In truth, he probably knew the answer laid in the ningen themselves. Magic, name regardless, always had affinities. And certain things influenced a person's likelihood towards an affinity. Blood often was a big factor, but if there was no big genetic pull, the land of their birth often played a part. And most mortals didn't have much of a genetic pull to one affinity or another without what was called a bloodline limit, or Kekkei Genki.
But discussion such a complicated matter would only confuse the poor boy, Discord was sure.
Still, it was nice going over this with Naruto. He rarely admitted it, but the short stuff was better at some things than him. "Still can't remember most of these tiny nations or villages," Discord mused, looking as if he would flick the depictions away like annoying fleas.
Given whom he was, that was a possibility.
"Well, that's Rice-something, that's Grass, that's Snow way over there and...I think that's Rain?" Naruto asked himself, not noticing he was speaking another language, or that Discord was. He suspected it was some surrogate-uncle version of parental instincts, but he thought it was a good idea to bless Naruto with a minor ability, allowing to understand and speak any language as if he was born to it, switching automatically.
And if Discord was honest, it was nice to speak Equestrian every now and again. He spent far too long on that world.
"No, wait, that's Waterfall. THAT's Rain!" Naruto said with a wide toothed smile, proudly pointing at the middle.
"Who names a place Rain? Sounds like I need to pay them a visit," Discord mused, tapping the map idly.
"Uncle Muchi?" Naruto asked curiously, getting a hum as an answer. "Mom and Dad say I can grow up to be as strong as them one day."
"Oh, I think you can be stronger than that, Rutty," Discord said with a chuckle as he kept looking at the map.
"Can I-" Naruto paused, looking away briefly before staring at the Lord of Chaos once more. "Can I be as strong as you one day?"
Discord opened his mouth, but closed it as the words registered, looking curiously at his nephew-figure. "I don't think so?"
Naruto might have been hurt or disappointed if Discord hadn't sounded so uncertain. "Whatcha mean, Uncle?"
"Well, no one has been able to reach my level. Not really," Discord answered honestly. "I'm not saying you can't, but I'll be impressed if you did."
"Oh," Naruto accepted thoughtfully. "Why'd you get so strong, Uncle?"
"Hmm? I don't understand the question?" Discord retorted, giving the little ningen an odd look.
"Well, Dad got strong to protect everyone, Mom did it because she was trying to be Hokage, and...I think Kaka is doing it for his dad and friends?" Naruto answered uncertainly. "Even bad people have reasons for getting strong, like takin over the world or beating one of the other villages. So, what was your reason, Uncle?"
Discord didn't answer, staring at the child as if he was the greatest mystery in the universe. "Why do you want to be as strong as me?"
"Hey, no fair, Uncle! I asked you first!" Naruto countered with a childish pout.
"Well, I guess neither of us will know, eh, Rutty?" Discord stated playfully, before his smile instantly melted into a scowl.
"What's wrong, Muchi-Oji?" Naruto asked in concern.
"Naruto, never ignore your wife when you grow up," Discord advised randomly, making the boy float over to his back before they flew off the cloud, and headed down to the village.
"Where are we going?" Naruto asked curiously, knowing this was certainly not the way home.
"Oh, that's right! You wouldn't know," Discord said with a jovial tone. "I need to check up on a certain little birthday girl."
"Birthday girl?" Naruto repeated, blinking. "Did you get her a present?"
"I believe I'm about to," Discord murmured as they floated down.
"Isn't this the Hyuuga's place?" Naruto asked as he looked around.
"Shh! We're late, so most of them are asleep," Discord shushed as they floated down, just above the courtyard.
"Oh, okay," Naruto said as they silently watched what looked like a peaceful household. Then, silent as the night, a masked man emerged from a window, carrying a sack over his shoulder. "We're not here to give a present, are we?" Naruto guessed grimly. Or what passed for grimly. It just sounded sad to Discord's ear as he landed on the top of the Hyuuga walls.
"Don't worry, Gaki. We got this," Discord assured as they remained invisible to the kidnapper's sight by his chaotic powers and waited for his approach. Once the man was in sight, Discord's tail whipped down and the hairs at the end lengthened, reaching out to ensnare the ninja.
"Wh-what is this?!" the man hissed as he was pulled off the ground. He looked up, only to pale as the invisibility was dropped, spotting the mismatch form of Konoha's local god. "Mu-Muchitsujo-Sama," he breathed in fear.
"Naruto, take the sack please. He won't be needing it. Right, Kumo-San?" Discord asked with an unkind smile.
The man flinched as he was brought closer so that the toddler might rob him of his prize. He knew who this was; anyone would have to be blind not to know after meeting the Yondiame Hokage. He was tempted to lash out, but he could feel the threads tear through some of his clothes without cutting his flesh…a clear warning to behave. He merely gritted his teeth and bore the indignation as Naruto removed the sack curiously; with that done, Discord flung the man into a tree, his hairs severing and entangling into it to pin the man there.
Naruto curiously opened the bag and blinked as a little girl's head popped out, scared eyes peering up at him. "W-who are you?" she asked, looking afraid to even come out of the sack.
Naruto would have none of that, smiling widely as he pulled it down, giving her a full view of her saviors. Her pale eyes were wide with awe at the sight of the mighty ryoma and the blonde boy upon his back. "I'm Naruto Namikaze. This is my Oji, Muchitsujo," Naruto introduced, looking at her curiously. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
"I-I'm fine. T-thank you for saving me, Kami-Sama, Namikaze-Sama," Hinata said with a nervous smile.
"You're quite welcome, my dear," Discord assured with a playful smile. "Now, I believe your father needs an explanation. Eh, Hiashi-Kun?" Discord asked, glancing down at the Hyuuga Clan Head, who was looking at the god and the Kumo ninja in bewilderment.
"Tou-San!" the girl yelled in relief, smiling tearful at her father and then squealing in momentary fright as Discord used his tail to gently lower her to the ground.
"I would deeply appreciate that, Kami-Sama," Hiashi said uneasily before smiling slightly at his daughter when she ran to embrace him. "But I can assume I owe you my thanks."
"And Naruto's," Discord retorted, nodding to his nephew, who blushed in embarrassment.
"I-I didn't do anything though," Naruto refused, knowing he had just been along for the ride.
"Yes, but I wouldn't have been out and about if you hadn't come to me tonight, Ruto-Kun," Discord answered with a chuckle.
Hinata stared up at the pair in awe, the image engrained into her little mind: the blond prince and the chaos god who saved her, smiling and framed in moonlight.
"In any case, I'd say these two little ones are pretty awake," Discord mused absently. "If you don't mind, Hiashi-Kun, would you mind watching them so they can play while I take our manner-less friend to Mina-Kun?" Discord suggested with a hint of veiled sadism that made the Kumo ninja shudder in his binds, having tried and failed to find an escape.
Hiashi was no fool. One didn't deny a god's suggestion without good consideration and there was nothing to consider in this. "I'd be happy to, Muchitsujo-Sama."
"Excellent!" Discord said with a cheerful smile as he poofed a confused Naruto to be standing with the two paled eyed humans. "Behave, Naruto. I'll come back in a little bit. Or your parents will, either or. Arrivederci!" Discord said before he and his captive vanished with a snap of his talons.
Naruto looked to the daughter of the leader of the Hyuuga Clan, tilting his head curiously. "Do you like to play spider tag?"
Meanwhile, Minato was very confused to find himself sitting in the Hokage's office rather than the couch at home. Had he fallen asleep here? Was the fight with Kushina a dream?
"She's never going to let you hear the end of this, Mina-Kun."
Minato grimaced at the voice. No, if he was here, that meant he had just been teleported here. "End of what, Muchitsujo-Sama?" he asked with a tired sigh as he turned his chair around to see two figures. One was a very amused god of chaos, the other was his wife with a smug grin and wicked glint in her eyes. Minato leaned forward and saw that for once, the Kami in question wasn't floating. He was standing on the body of the ambassador from Kumo, who was bound up in what might as well be a giant white ball of yarn.
He only had one extremely important question before all else. "Where is Naruto?" he asked with a furrowed brow, his emotions between concerned and curious. Concerned because, did that mean he didn't make it to the Forest of Death? Had the ANBU been defeated by an unexpected enemy? If not, he was curious as to where Discord had deposited the blond.
"Oh, he's just making friends with a birthday girl," Discord answered, examining his claws idly.
That startled Kushina out of her moment of victory. "Naru-Chan is with the Hyuuga girl? Oi, Muchi-Dono! Are you playing matchmaker for Naruto without talking to his Kaa-San?" Kushina asked accusingly.
"Matchmaker? Tomato-Chan, I don't make matches. That's too orderly. I simply set up the dominos to see how they land," Discord retorted flippantly.
"Dominos?" Kushina repeated before narrowing her eyes. "You're intending a lot of girls to fight over Naru-Chan?"
"Well, the ones that aren't into sharing," Discord joked with a suggestive eye wiggle.
Kushina held his stare for a moment before grinning. "Oh, like my manly Naru-Chan needs any help getting ladies to fight over him," Kushina said proudly.
Discord had what Minato called a Ningen-Moment, sharing a weirded-out look and a sweat drop with the fourth Hokage over the antics of the former Kyuubi Jinchuriki. It was something Minato had taken a curious interest in witnessing. Muchitsujo was very aloof and playful, seeming to deem anything and everything important to most people as beneath him. He studied and watched their culture and customs out of idle curiosity, but every now and again, the divine chimera had a moment where his reaction was unexpectedly normal.
They never lasted long though.
"Right, so, Kushina? Do you need to get the dance of a thousand 'I-Told-You-So's over with or shall we address Kumo's tendency to abduct underage girls?" Discord asked dryly.
Minato's eye twitched as Kushina gave him a demonic look. "We'll save the dance for a more…private time, Muchi-Dono. For now?" she stopped, glaring down at the captured Kumo ninja.
Discord floated off him and flicked his claws, the man suddenly pinned to the wall as the hair became like glue…industrial glue. "While I'm sure we know the answer, it's best to hear it from the source," Minato said, instantly in front of the man, who looked very, very pale as he was being stared down by not only the God of Chaos, but the Yellow Flash and Kushina Uzumaki. This was definitely not good for him. "So, why exactly were you trying to kidnap the daughter of Hiashi Hyuuga?" Minato asked in a disturbingly polite tone.
"Please, do me a favor: lie," Discord requested with a chuckle. "I'd love to see what they'll do to you."
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Yay chapter.
Discord's really having fun here isn't he? And my goodness, that's a remarkably unfortunate infiltrator.
Took me a long time to work out it would be pronounced root-y as opposed to rut-y. Fun to see the odd moments where humans manage to utterly confound chaos.
Alright he also posts here noce to know. Good chapter this story seems like a gem.
nice work
Discord the benevollent protector of Konoha is really interesting to read about.
Good work.
There are no words that could describe the evil grin that crawled onto my face while I read this line!
10386374
Same
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More unfortunate than in canon.