Chapter X: "For What it's Worth"
(Well, here you go. Enjoy.)
Rapid social deconstruction on a fundamental level resulting in a general lack of order and sanity. Chaos, in a word. The first minute of your walk across Ponyville had been blessedly silent, nopony noticing you, or even being around. When you entered the marketplace, though, all of that changed. It started with a single long stare, and within moments there was widespread chaos as the ponies of Ponyville believed that the apocalypse had come early to this little town. None of them even thought to speak to you, so consumed with their panic. Several would be heroes attempted to stop you, but a harsh glare sent all of them running. The only one who didn’t flee before you was an orange pegasus filly. She just stared at you, defiant until you passed her without a glance.
Each step along the way ground against your mind, the urge to shout your anger to the sky building with each impact of your hooves on the packed in earth. Yet, despite this urge, you continued on your way, each step bringing you closer to the boutique that would be either your salvation, or your termination. You pushed thoughts of your impending end from your mind as you walked, knowing that thinking about it that way wouldn’t be smart at all. Not only was it pessimistic, or realistic depending on your outlook, it wasn’t going to happen. Rarity was the Element of Generosity. Surely she would aid another living creature, despite what happened with your relationship. All she had to do was share some emotions, and you could leave and die in peace.
And, as you thought about it, you realized that you could leave now, if you wanted. Your end would be a certainty, but at least you wouldn’t bother anypony as you passed. There may be a few wonderings about what happened to you, but most of them would likely forget that you were ever even here. Many Changelings would’ve loved to be in a situation similar to yours. The ability to depart from a town without raising any suspicion. To have the entire world open to you, with nothing capable of holding you back. No hive to bring love back to. No suspicion to speak of. Not even the Princesses would bother you, so long as you justified why you went to one place or another.
A hoof fell on your shoulder, and you spared a quick glance to the hoof, trying to see who it was. The blue color of the coat was familiar, and you knew that it was Ace who was holding you back. With a small start, you realized that you were at the edge of town, but nowhere close to where you would be if you had been heading for Rarity’s home. You also realized that you had some tears in your eyes.
“That’s not the way to Rarity’s Boutique, Catalyst.”
“I… I know. I don’t think I can do it.”
“Why not?” The stallion pushed on your shoulder some, prompting you to turn to look at him. His eyes still had the red center to the irises, but they had regained their old color as well. “What makes you think that you can just leave?” As the stallion looked at you, you felt a rising urge to punch the stallion in the face. What right did he have to tell you how to live your life. Or, to phrase it better, what right did he have to choose how you die.
“Because I’ll fuck it up.”
“Celestia forgive the clichédness of what I’m about to say… You lose all the battles you don’t fight, Catalyst. If you don’t even try to reconcile with Rarity, then of course you’ll fail. Better to try, and fail, then to just give up.”
“But-”
“No ‘buts’. Go to her house, and make her understand what… Who you are, and why you did what you did. Red’s spell worked two ways, and I got to see some of who you are. I don’t agree with all of what you did… But I’m not the one to judge you. Explain it to Rarity, and let her be the judge.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond before he snapped open his wings, and then he took flight. You watched him fly for a moment, before you turned to look out of the town once again.
You looked down the road, watching as it thinned to a fine line as it grew nearer to the horizon. The first step would be the hardest, of course. But once you got going it’d get easier as the distance grew. It’s not like you had much to hold you to the town. You’d only been here a short while, after all. Ditzy, Storm, and maybe Ace. They were the only ones that you had any sort of real connection to. Rarity, though…
You raised your hoof from the ground, hesitating as you weighed your choices. Out of town, to an inglorious end. Slow starvation in the wilds of Equestria. An unfitting end to a race that almost brought Canterlot to its knees; a race that fought, and matched, some of the fiercest predators of the Everfree in an effort to establish a more permanent residence. You had fought in the name of the hive for years, bringing honor to yourself, and your queen. But now that you had to face a challenge of a different sort, you sought to run?
No.
Your hoof came down with enough force to create a small puff of dust around its impact. You wouldn’t let it all end like that. You would show Rarity the truth, and let her be the judge. She would either be your savior, or your executioner. But you wouldn’t hide any longer.
Your second step followed the first, and then a third. Not a rapid pace, but one that was measured, and soon enough brought the boutique into sight. It appeared closed, but something told you that the truth was far different. At your approach, the front door opened, revealing not Rarity, but her younger sister. The look on that filly’s face was unforgettable. Such anger mixed with sadness, regret, and something else. An emotion that you couldn’t quite name. It was unsettling to know that you could never again read the emotions of any pony other than Rarity. You’d grown so dependent upon it, that you now found it difficult to read emotions without it.
The filly approached you quickly, her eyes bloodshot and focused right on yours. She stopped just in front of you, her entire frame shaking with poorly concealed sobs. A single tear trailed down her cheek, and you brought up a hoof to wipe it away, but the white filly knocked it away with one of her own hooves, the fire in her eyes surging just a bit.
“Rarity doesn’t want to see you.” You expected as much.
“Sometimes, Sweetie Belle, we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes the things we don’t want are the things we need the most. Sometimes the things that we don’t want are things that somepony else needs.” You lowered yourself to the filly’s level, and she kept looking into your eyes. “And right now, Sweetie, I need this more than anything else in the world.”
The filly just looked back at you for a moment, and then you saw it. A tiny waver in her anger. A moment where her sadness won out. She threw herself at you, wrapping her fore hooves around your neck, holding you as close as she could. Her sobbing grew in intensity, and each sob caused her grip to tighten for a moment. “Please, Quill… Make Rarity happy again. She’s never been this upset about anything. You… You were her Prince Charming. The stallion that was supposed to ‘sweep her off her hooves’ and give her the ‘happily ever after’ that she wanted.”
You just held the filly until her sobbing slowed, and then you pushed her back enough that you could look her in the eyes once again. “Sweetie, there is nothing I would like more than to make Rarity happy. But to do that I’ll have to talk with her for quite some time. So, if you could go and stay somewhere else for the rest of today, and tomorrow as well?” The filly just nodded, and then you gave her a smile. “Things will work out, Sweetie. I…” You wanted to say that you promised. You wanted to be able to guarantee this little filly that things would work out in the end. But you knew, better than most, that things didn’t often work out so well.
The filly walked off after a moment. She looked over her shoulder once, before she broke into a gallop. You didn’t blame her, really. You looked back at the boutique, and then you approached the door. Several solid knocks on the door, and yet no response was forthcoming. Again, you knocked, and, again, the answer was nonexistent. Subtlty, thy name is Catalsyt! Rather than knocking, you went for the doorknob, giving it a turn, and barging right in.
The room was dark, and you couldn’t quite tell if it did or didn’t surprise you that it was like this. Both ways of looking at it made sense, and so you decided not to think about that, and, instead, take care of what you came here to do. You silently closed the door behind yourself as you walked towards the back of the store, and to the staircase that was in the back.
Each step up the staircase seemed to drag on for hours, but it only took moments for you to ascend to the second floor. A choked sob came from one of the rooms, and so you began your approach, your hooves nearly silent on the floor. The door to the living room was slightly ajar, and you pushed on it lightly, the oiled hinges swinging inward in silence. The mare was facing away from you, sitting in the same spot as when she revealed her knowledge of your secret.
“I thought I made it quite clear that I didn’t want you to come back.” Aside from the small sobs that choked her words, there was naught but sadness in her voice. “You lied to me for so long, and now I want to spare myself from more.” You just stood in place, the words of the mare processing far slower than they were spoken. “Go, Catalyst. Go and steal from some other mare.”
“I can’t.” The words escaped you before you could stop them, and then you realized that you were continuing your explanation without even thinking about it. “When we last spoke, something happened with my magic, and with you. It was something so small that I didn’t even realize it at the time. My magic linked me to you, Rarity. When a Changeling spends enough time with a single pony in a relationship like ours was, it grows a special bond with that pony. The love taken in a bond like this is far richer than any other, but it costs the changeling dearly. You see, when a changeling bonds with a pony they lose the ability to harvest emotion from any other source.”
You paused for a moment, as you allowed what you said to sink in. “Without you, Rarity, I’ll die. In just under a day, to be specific.”
“Then… Then die. I won’t be used by you.”
“At least let me tell you who I was, before I die. Do me this kindness, and then I will depart, and leave you in peace.
“It started years ago. Longer, even, than you or I have been alive. My great grand-sire. Quark, was his name…
//\\//\\//\\ Four Hundred Years Ago //\\//\\//\\
Quark looked fondly upon his first born daughter. Her flowing silver mane caught the light in such a way as to make it look like gold in the setting sun. She was a runt by all standards, but she had such energy. A strength that far surpassed what a Changeling of her age and size should have. Quark was the second King of his blood, and had forged the Hive in the Everfree. It had taken the better part of a decade to build the massive complex in, and beneath, the forest. Now, though, they had a home. One that would shelter them from at least some suspicion.
Cocoon was the name of the infant Changeling. Her tiny eyes watched the King with clear awe. His own eyes were filled with love for his daughter, his emotions feeding the small child. He had to tap into the massive reserves of the hive for this to work, but it came naturally to the King.
Within just a few years the daughter was given two more sisters. Neither of them would ever amount to much, but they existed. Some rumors were circulated about their endeavors within the hive, but they are promptly discarded. It was around this time that the Changeling’s had their first case of regicide. While it is unclear who exactly killed the king, it is clear that Cocoon quickly assumed the mantle of command, and the hive flourished beneath her benevolent rule for most of the intervening time between then, and your birth. Some would call this time the Golden Era, but that’d be silly, since gold has little meaning to a Changeling. Instead, it was called the Era of Boundless Love.
There were never any shortages, and it allowed for unparalleled growth of not only the size of the hive, but the quality of life for the drones. About ninety years ago, Cocoon had her first daughter. Her name was Metamorphosis. She was, like her mother, a runt. Chrysalis was born just a few years later.
When Chrysalis grew old enough to understand what lineage meant, she was at first cowed by the power that her older sister would come to wield. But this awe quickly grew into jealousy, and finally into hatred. Chrysalis couldn’t understand how her feeble older sister could be in line for the throne before her, and so she took matters into her own hooves.
Two years later, and Chrysalis had ascended to the throne, atop the corpse of her sister. With Chrysalis’ ascendance to the throne, the hive changed rapidly. No longer did the hive content itself with just enough love. Now they took the time to gather far more than they needed. More than they could consume in multiple lifetimes. All to further Chrysalis’ grand plot. A plot that would come to fruition with the seizure of Canterlot.
Several children were born to the queen, the first of which were daughters. You were her last child, and the new heir to the throne. She treasured you above all the others, giving you preferential treatment in all things, but being far harder on you. She wanted to see you prevail and lead the hive, but only if you could take it from her by force. With your birth the queen finally had all the tools she needed to put her plans into motion.
//\\//\\//\\ Present //\\//\\//\\
You heaved a small sigh as you finally reached your start in the small journal. Your summary of the last king to yourself was vastly cut down, putting out several hundred years of history in mere minutes. The mare seemed unmoved through this fairly bland recollection of events, but that didn’t really surprise you. During your brief start, you had moved to the couch across from the mare, sitting down and reading from the journal in a methodical manner, giving only the essentials to paint the story, leaving out the struggles and emotional ruminations that littered the pages. She didn’t need to know about all that.
You glanced up at the mare, and she just looked at you blankly, the tears slowly trickling down her face leaving behind trails of matted fur. Despite this, and the near dead look in her eyes, she was still just as beautiful as when you first saw her. Without much of a pause after that, you turned the page in the journal revealing your first meaningful entry.
“The trip to Canterlot wasn’t eventful. Really, I just boarded a carriage, and was shipped off to the city. But when I got there…
//\\//\\//\\ One Year Before Return of Nightmare Moon //\\//\\//\\
You got off the carriage smoothly, up until the last step, where you promptly tripped, and fell on your face. Luckily, this barely rated a passing glance from all the prim and proper ponies of Canterlot, and so your blunder went unnoticed. Still, the hit to your pride was something that didn’t just vanish. You brought the note from mother before your eyes, and you quickly read the directions provided. She’d arranged for a home for you for the next few months, enough time, she hoped, for you to arrange for the capture of Princess Cadence.
It took just a few minutes for you to make the trip to your home, and it took all your self control not to bolt everytime you saw a random guardspony walking the streets. For all you knew they were just patrolling in a regular fashion, rather than looking for you. In fact, that’s exactly what the logical side of your brain told you. The less than rational portion, though, screamed for you to leave, or at least to find a hiding spot.
You managed to make it to your home without panicking, though, so you let out a small mental cheer. The key you had fit the lock perfectly, and with little hesitance you pushed the door open, looking over your shoulder just once as you entered the home that would shelter you for the next two years.
Few things ever go according to plan. And this whole attack was one of those things that doesn't go according to plan.
Three Months Later
Not a single lead you had been given had yielded a single positive result. In fact, more often than not, you wound up back where you had started, with no new information. It seems that Princess Cadence was far more difficult to get at than even Princess Celestia, whom you had had the misfortune of running into not once, but twice; and both times had been while she was holding open court for ponies to air their grievances.
As you paced within your home, a sudden knocking came from the door, making your heart skip a beat. Without a pause, though, you made your way over, opening it without thought. Standing there was a remarkably attractive unicorn mare, her coat a lovely shade of blue, and her eyes twin sparkling pools of jade. Even her voice seemed wonderful to your ears.
“May I come in, er… Quill, was it?” You nod dumbly, allowing the mare to enter. She had grace, and there was not one thing unappealing about her. Before you had come to the hive you’d only seen ponies in passing, never having blended for nearly as long as you were doing so now. But with this extended assignment, you’d been given plenty of time to… appreciate some of the locals. This mare, though… She was something else.
Recovering from your initial shock, you decide that this might play in a way that was useful to you. If you could establish another link to the city it’d be even easier for you to work. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, miss…”
“Quit ogling my flank, Catalyst.” Her voice… “We don’t have time for you to waste chasing tail, so do us both a favor and drop the act for now.” With her words, her guise fell away, revealing Entropy. Her form was just as appealing as when she was a unicorn, but now it brought you only disgust to think of the way you had just thought of her.
“Sweet Creator, Entropy!” You bring a hoof to your head, and then you rub your eyes vigorously. “How was I supposed to know that was you?”
“Why does it matter? You’re supposed to be finding us a way to Cadence, not getting your rocks off with the locals. Besides, you can’t afford any attachments. You know as well as I do what’ll happen if you do.”
“Yeah, but it’s provided me with more than a few leads over the past few weeks.”
“And where have these leads taken you? The rest of your sisters, and even I, have been monitoring your progress. In five and ninety days you’ve accomplished next to nothing, and what little you have done has ultimately been for naught.”
“Surely you understand what it is that I’ve been tasked with. Finding a time when the young princess holds court is next to impossible. And even then she is never alone when she does so. The only time she’s alone is when…”
“Exactly. So, now that you’ve puzzled that one out, it’s time to begin planning in earnest. Impulse and I will begin stalking some of her guards, so we might learn their habits. You simply keep out of trouble.” The hardened mask your sister had been maintaining faltered for a moment. “Brother, we need you to stay strong. Impulse and I… We can only do so much. The crown has already shifted heads, now it is just a matter of when you assert your rule.”
“Entropy, I’ll not take the crown for some time. Chrysalis is safe for years to come. I do not wish to throw the hive into chaos for a throne I don’t truly desire.”
“Good. Now, rest. On the morrow sister and I will begin our long watch. Until we finish, remain undetected, and keep saving your funds. Bribes are expensive.”
Without a further word, the Changeling resumed her disguise, and she stalked from your home, the door closing behind her. You let out the breath you had been unconsciously holding, and then you went up to your bed, the events of the day tiring you little, but the conversation with Entropy had done you in for the day. Taking the place of a royal guardspony. Fools work, that.
Eight Months Later
He never saw it coming. Not a sound escaped you as you moved up behind the guard. To be fair, you were just as surprised as he was when your ambush turned out the way it had. Entropy had played her part wonderfully, tantalizing the fairly young guard with promises of sex that would leave him speechless, and unable to walk. Instead of that, though, he got a sharp blow to the head, and a set of ropes binding his hooves together. Now, as you and your sister looked at him, he began to stir. The section of rope that ran around his head and through his mouth ensured his silence as you did your work.
“Be quick about it, Catalyst. We have no time to waste with your squeamishness.”
“Surely you can do this. I’ve… I’ve never killed a pony.” The guard’s eyes finally opened all the way as you finished, and his gaze quickly alternated between you and your sister. Entropy simply ignored him, though.
“Since you are the one who has need of his form in its entirety you must be the one to deal the blow. We both know the process to fully become a pony.”
“Yes, but…”
“No, Catalyst. This is part of your duty to the hive. If not for yourself, do it for our Queen.”
Our Queen.
Not our mother, our Queen. Entropy walked from the room after she had finished, leaving you with the guard. You had been facing him the whole time, and his eyes had grown steadily wider as you had spoken to your sister.
Muffled groans escaped past the rope in the stallion’s mouth, and you could only imagine the fear that he felt as you looked at him. You approached him slowly, not wanting this to be any harder than it already was. You brought a hoof to the rope around his head, gagging him, and then you spoke slowly to him.
“I’ll remove this if you promise not to scream. Nod if you understand.” A quick nod followed, and you slowly undid the gag keeping him silent.
“Please… I… I don’t want to die.” He was close to tears, and it showed in his voice. “I never… I just want to go home. Please, don’t kill me.”
You moved behind the stallion, and then you put a hoof over his eyes. “Tell me about your family.”
“My… My family?”
“Yes. Mother, father, siblings, anypony. Just talk to me.”
“My father died when I was young. Just a few months old. Mom took it hard, and she was never the same. At least, that’s what my aunt told me. We often took trips into the countryside, my aunt, mom, sister and I. We’d just take the time to get away from it all. Take a chance to enjoy life.” His words were halting, and as he spoke you began casting the spell that would create the blade of magic that you would use. As the spell was completed, a harsh green glow formed around your hoof, and then it elongated into a wicked looking point. “We took our last trip a few days ago. Today was my first day back on duty.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.” The blade sank into his skin with next to no resistance. Flesh parted with far more ease than you thought was possible, and within seconds of the blade entering his flesh, the stallion stopped moving completely. As the stallion died in your grasp, you felt the first tendrils of his mind begin to enter yours. His mental scream echoed across the bond you were forced into, and even now it still haunts you.
Such fear.
Such ambition.
All of it was yours now, and there was nothing that you could want less.
Your first kill.
(Murder most foul. More still to come. We haven't even reached your moment of glory, yet.)
(4.5K words. A record, for me.)
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Great chapter, as always, Howitz. Can't wait to see how this unfolds!
1618730 Me neither. It's so suspenseful!
CLIFFHANGER HANGING FROM A CLIFF.... AND THAT'S WHY HE'S CALLED CLIFFHANGER! (and hated by most)
I had "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield in my head through most of this. Nice, though. NEED MOAR.
i like
Great Scott! Another update!
Poor guard.
Ironically, I had this song in my head. Poor Cata- err I mean Quill. The song relates to him though:
1618885 He knew the risks.
Love. It but yu got to update that vinyl scratch story.
:|
"Your killing has been observed by forces unknown...."
1619034 Still:
thor.he.net/~gludlow/rip.gif
So he didn't want to do it?? Well as we all know, there is something different about this Changeling!
RANDOM GUARD WHYYYYYYYYY?!
YOU HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!
1619238 To be honest, I didn't even look at the updates from this story until today. After I post a chapter I try to just leave and come back in a few hours. last night, though, instead of leaving, I wrote the 3K words for Tears. 7k words in a night! Progress!
1619293 Oh my... I don't want the blade of woe, though. It's nice and all, but it's just a rinky dink dagger.
wow i feel for him (or me as it be.) but cant wait for the end it could go ether way.
1620927 The other rewards are worth it C:
1620925
I had been catching up on all my stories, and I started this reading session a few chapters before. It just left me wanting moar. Please deliver the moar.
Preferably on-time.
1656101 Soon... probably.
1657221 dude I loved color of apples, I would give to you, faux pas of the heart, and was up to chapter 37 in rising sun then you started rewriting hope more comes soon (I still want to finish rising sun even though I know storm ends up with rainbow.)
Finally a week later and reading three stories I'm finally caught up to this one. Cant wait to see what happens next (wish Rising Sun would finish, that last chapter makes me feel that I'm missing out on a lot with whats going on. Especially when you keep making references in your other stories.)
...Don't you just hate it when a lot the chapters are there, and you finally get to read them off one after another...and there's still more to be done?