• Member Since 11th May, 2019
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Melody Song


Fanfic writer who loves to sing!

T
Source

Grogar has a plan. to use a spell to zap all possible threats into his lair in order to eliminate them. The mane 6, Princess Cadence, Princess Flurry Heart, Starlight, the CMCs, Daring Do, the Wonderbolt mares, Mage Meadowbrook, Somnambula, and Mistmane are sent down. however, Grogar has made a grave mistake. only mares were brought due to Grogar believing that the mares of Equestria pose a worse threat than any stallion that could be out there.

but he has underestimated the lengths that stallions will go to in order to protect the ones they love-er-are friends with. yeah, that's what happens, no one has crushes, just friends here, nothing else!

oh who am i kidding, whatever, the others are gonna find out in the story about each other's crushes.

anyway, when the stallions find out, they are sent on the mission by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to rescue the mares. but will they be halted by Grogar's 'minions'? or will the unexpected happen?

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 10 )

A tad jumbled.

Could also use a bit of editing.

Maybe a smidge better pacing as well.

But beyond that, I did find this very intriguing.

To The In/Out Box!

I'll be keeping a close eye on this indeed!

9771728
hey, this is my first time writing on FimFiction, gimme a break, i'm no Shakespeare. but thank you for commenting, no one ever usually comments on the stories i have on other Wattpad under the name Itsawsometime.

9771789
Oh dear!

I didn't mean it in a malicious way.

Criticism is not to drag down a person, rather to help them succeed.

Anyone willing to offer it simply See's potential in the project.

After all, I did leave a Like and a Follow.

9771805
sorry, i don't mean to be rude, i just get a little defensive about my work. and i did not see the like and follow at the time, sorry, still figuring this out. sorry for the late response.

9772295
Perfectly fine.

Never get flustered over criticism.

Even the best writers in the world are never perfect, just take everything with a grain of salt. Do this and you'll never feel as if you didn't do your best.

Besides the important thing is that you had fun writing it!

I wish you the best of luck!

I’m really hoping Spike has his chance to shine since he’s actually my favorite character in the show along side Discord.

This story needs some editing, no offense.

9775706
none taken, i misspell things a lot and tend to add unneeded detail sometimes, but hey, every writer needs a proofreader. and...i'm still looking for one among my friends.

I didn’t really think about this until now, but why do the stallions need to do anything? Couldn’t Discord just wipe the floor with the villains with his Reality Warping?

9786679
because Discord knows he can't stop Tirek alone, he learned his lesson when Tirek back-stabbed him. and also, Discord and the others don't know if Grogar has imprisoned the girls in a place where they might get hurt from a direct attack. Plus, the stallions were asked by Celestia, so even if Discord tried ditching them, they probably would just come back anyway out of loyalty to the Princess and their friend. but thanks for asking.

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