Shining Armor Saves Everyone

by 42Zombies

Oh Great, It's This Guy

Very few ponies knew that there was a crisis meeting room in the heart of Canterlot Castle. This was because, whenever there was an emergency, Celestia and Luna usually wound up just having meeting in their throne room. Since the princesses were missing, though, it felt weird to hold a meeting in front of their empty thrones. And so, Chancellor Neighsay wound up bringing Shining Armor and Flurry Heart to the underused meeting room.

“I still have several others to gather,” Neighsay said as they stepped through his portal. “I really probably could have planned this out better.”

Shining couldn’t disagree. When they stepped into the barebones conference room, it was only occupied by one other pony. Granted, that pony was Starswirl the Bearded, which was impressive, but it still wasn’t anywhere near enough people to hold a meeting over this.

Neighsay tapped his badge and the portal they had stepped through closed in on itself. Almost immediately, a second portal opened in its place.

“This should not take too long,” Neighsay said as he made his exit. “In the meantime, feel free to do whatever it is you’re supposed to do with babies. Feed them, I assume.”

Before Shining could point out that this conference room was woefully understocked on baby food, Neighay stepped through the portal. It quickly closed behind him, leaving Shining and Flurry Heart behind.

Holding Flurry Heart in the stylish front-slung baby carrier that he had gotten for Arbor Day, Shining turned around towards the large conference table where Starswirl was sat. The two stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Shining really had no idea what to say. He’d only ever spoken to Starswirl when he’d set up the castle’s new security system, and Starswirl had merged the pieces of Chrysalis’s throne into the castle walls.

A lot of good that had done, apparently. Looks like that had been a waste of a day.

“So…” Shining said slowly. “Princesses are missing.”

“Yes,” Starswirl said. “Indeed.”

Shining looked around, hoping that Neighsay would be returning soon. He wouldn’t be.

“Princesses are missing,” Shining repeated. “That’s… That’s pretty bad.”

Starswirl nodded in agreement.

“Indeed,” he said. “Pretty bad.”

This was torture. Shining wished he could explode. Thankfully, the awkward moment was cut short by an aristocrat bursting into the room.

“Pardon my tardiness,” Fancy Pants said as he barged into the room through its side door. The monocle-wearing stallion-about-town trotted promptly over to the meeting table and took a seat. “I hurried over as soon as I heard. Nast bit of business, all this.”

“I have no idea who you are,” Starswirl said.

Shining blinked in surprise. Flurry Heart, still in her sling, waved her hooves, presumably also surprised.

“Fancy Pants?” Shining said in disbelief. “What are you doing here? You’re just some rich guy.”

“I’m not just some rich guy,” Fancy Pants clarified. “I’m the rich guy. I’m involved in all manner of things in running Canterlot, and I’m here representing civilian interests. I assure you, Prince Armor, I have a great deal of resources to add to resolving this crisis.”

Shining thought about this. “I guess that makes sense. I’m sure you’ll be very helpful. I mean, it’s not like you could be as useless as Blueblood.”

Fancy Pants let out a good-natured laugh.

“Indeed!” He said. “What a tool!”

“I beg your pardon,” Starswirl interjected. “Who is Blueblood? I’ve never heard of them, but they sound like a complete chump.”

Oh, right. Shining Armor had forgotten that Starswirl had been trapped in another dimension for over a thousand years. That was kind of a weird detail to forget about someone. Shining had no clue why that fact had somehow slipped his mind.

“Blueblood is Celestia’s nephew,” Shining Armor said as he took a seat at the conference table. He pulled Flurry Heart out of her sling and set her in his horse-lap. “She adopted him, just like she adopted Cadence. He’s kind of a brat.”

Starswirl raised an eyebrow.

“If she adopted him, why is he her nephew?” Starswirl asked. “Wouldn’t she be her son?”

“Yes, nobody’s quite clear on how any of that works,” Fancy Pants said. “Sometimes Princess Celestia says things and we all just sort of roll with it. She’s been ruling Equestria for over a thousand years—she can use whatever terminology she wants.”

“I’ll have to ask her about all of this once she’s found,” Starswirl mused. “Maybe she just doesn’t know what parents are. I probably should have taught her and Luna that. Seems kind of obvious in hindsight.”

The portal opened again. Chancellor Neighsay stepped back into the room, this time joined by two more individuals. Shining Armor recognized one of them—it was Thorax. Shining was a little surprised to see the King of the Changelings, but he didn’t mind the help.

The other pony was a unicorn who Shining was unfamiliar with. Despite that, however, Shining Armor felt reasonably sure that he could guess who she was. The broken horn was a dead giveaway.

“Ah, Sir Pants,” Neighsay said as the portal closed behind him. “Good to see you. I’m sure you’re all familiar with Thorax and Tempest Shadow?”

“Yes, I was in Canterlot when she led the army that enslaved us,” Fancy Pants said cheerily. “Good to see you again, Miss Tempest!”

“Likewise.” Tempest Shadow gave Fancy Pants a courteous, yet awkward nod. She briefly scanned the table before taking the seat across from Shining Armor. Once she did, her attention immediately went to the winged baby Shining was holding in her lap.

“A baby alicorn?” Tempest mused. “Oh, you must be… uh… Prince…”

“Shining Armor,” Shining said. “We’ve never met. Flurry and I were in the Crystal Empire during your whole invasion thing.”

Tempest nodded. “That was probably for the best on your part. I would have turned your daughter to stone and used her to charge a superweapon.”

“Yeah, no, that would’ve been bad,” Shining agreed.

They were soon joined by Thorax, who took the seat immediately besides Shining. It was still a little strange to see Thorax with his bright-green carapace. He’d had it for a while, but Shining had gotten used to how Thorax had looked during the time he’d spent at the Crystal Palace. It was odd to think that the ruler of the Changelings had once basically just been a bum who’d lived with them.

While Shining wasn’t used to Thorax’s appearance, Flurry Heart certainly recognized him. Before Shining could stop her, the little alicorn flew out of her father’s lap and up to Thorax’s eye level, where she cooed adorably. Thorax looked like he was equally happy to see her.

“Hello, Flurry Heart!” Thorax said excitedly. He seemed to almost forget that anyone else was in the room. “Oh, she’s gotten so big!”

“She’s pretty much the same size,” Shining pointed out. He reached a hoof up and placed it on his daughter’s head, gently lowering her. “Sweetie, don’t distract the leader of our closes allied nation.”

“Now that everyone’s here, we can begin.” Neighsay said as he trotted to the head of the table.

“This is everyone?” Starswirl asked. “Shouldn’t we wait for Twilight Sparkle and her friends to arrive?”

Neighsay shook his head. “I want to begin discussing what to do immediately. They won’t arrive for several hours.”

“Why don’t you just use your portals to meet them while they’re taking the train to Canterlot?” Tempest asked.

“My magic doesn’t work on trains,” Neighsay said.

“Why don’t we go over what we know?” Fancy Pants asked. “We can find out how best to hold down the fort until the princesses are located. I can get the word around to the upper crust, as it were.”

“Yes,” Starswirl agreed. “And I can set up a system to move the sun and moon for the time being.”

“I can engage in black ops missions and wet-work assignments against enemies of the state,” Tempest offered. “I’m sure that will help somehow.”

“I don’t have anything to contribute,” Thorax suggested. “I’m honestly not sure why I’m here.”

Neighsay lifted a hoof to quiet everyone’s extremely helpful contributions to the meeting. “There will be time for all of that. First, though, we should ask Equestria’s temporary ruler how we should begin the proceedings.”

Shining couldn’t help but raise his brows as he pulled Flurry Heart back into his lap. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to him that Equestria would need a temporary ruler while the princesses were missing. Everything was happening so quickly, and it was all so surreal. It was difficult to think straight about how this emergency could be handled.

Who could be trusted to lead Equestria in the princesses’ absence, though? Who was wise enough and levelheaded enough to lead the ponies in this time of crisis? Shining hoped whoever was chosen would be able to handle the pressure. But what pony could possible fill those horseshoes?

The door to the meeting room once again swung open, this time much more loudly and obnoxiously. All eyes turned towards the stallion who was rudely intruding on the meeting that hadn’t actually really started yet.

“You can all relax!” Blueblood exclaimed as he trotted into the room. “I’m here now! We can finally get the meeting underway!”

A collective groan escaped from everypony else in the room. Even Flurry Heart seemed annoyed at Blueblood’s presence, which was surprising for a baby.

“Oh great!” Fancy Pants exclaimed. “It’s this guy!”

“Nopony asked you to be here, Prince Blueblood.” Chancellor Neighsay sounded as if he was trying to sound respectful, but the scorn in his voice was hard to mask. Luckily, Blueblood appeared not to notice it.

“How did you even find out about this meeting?” Neighsay asked. “The High Chancellors ordered everyone to keep this a secret!”

“I have my methods,” Blueblood said as he took a seat at the table. Once he was seated, he tried to lean back so he could hoist his hooves onto the table. He couldn’t manage it, though, so he just fidgeted around in his chair for a solid minute before finally giving up.

“You did an excellent job keeping this meeting a secret,” Blueblood said. “But, with my masterful skills of deduction, I was able to walk past the door and hear a bunch of people talking.”

Everyone stared at Blueblood in disbelief, except for Flurry Heart, who was staring at Thorax’s antlers. Blueblood looked to be oblivious to how much everyone was already fed up with him. He was generally oblivious to that sort of thing in Shining Armor’s experience.

“So what’s this meeting about?” Blueblood asked.

Neighsay sighed.

“We’re discussing how to handle the princesses’ disappearance. If you insist on being a part of—”

“The princesses have disappeared?” Blueblood asked, surprised.

Neighsay stammered, dumbfounded.

“Did you not notice the sun and moon aren’t moving?” He asked incredulously.

Blueblood scoffed.

“Of course not,” he said. “What reason could I possibly have to look outside? That’s where the dirt lives. I can’t be asked to look outside at all of that garbage until after I’ve had my morning tea.”

“Could we please get back on track?” Starswirl asked impatiently. “I’d like to meet Twilight’s friends at the train station so we can get to work solving this problem. Also so we can get lattes.”

“Yeah, I want a latte, too,” Thorax added.

“I’m still not sure why I was asked to come here,” Tempest added.

Neighsay cleared his throat. “Yes. Of course. Forgive me. I’ll get straight to the point so we can all get lattes. As I was saying, until the princesses are found, Equestria will need to appoint an interim ruler. Now, going by the Equestrian Government’s chain of command…”

“We have one of those?” Shining asked, baffled. He’d certainly never heard anything about a chain of command. You’d think that would have been something that would’ve come up when he became a prince.

Neighsay gave Shining an irritated glare, clearly unhappy about being constantly interrupted.

“Going by the chain of command…” Neighsay continued testily. “We have a clear idea of who Equestria’s interim ruler should be. The High Chancellors are all in agreement. By their authority, Equestria’s temporary ruler shall be—”

“Say no more!” Blueblood said loudly. “I accept the position of Equestria’s temporary ruler. You chancellors have made the right choice. I can assure you I’ll uphold the position with grace and aplomb. When do I get my diamond-encrusted crown and golden sword?”

“There’s a golden sword?” Tempest asked tentatively.

While Neighsay began to fume in silent fury, Fancy Pants sputtered indignantly.

“This is outrageous!” Fancy Pants said. “Neighsay, the aristocracy will not allow this buffoon to serve as Equestria’s ruler! He has no qualifications beyond riding on his aunt’s coattails and attending parties!”

“Oh, don’t be absurd!” Blueblood scoffed. “Auntie doesn’t even wear coattails!”

“Can I please see the golden sword?” Tempest asked.

Chancellor Neighsay noisily slammed his hoof onto the surface of the table, causing it to shake slightly. The unicorn looked positively furious, and was gritting his teeth as he looked at the other ponies. The sheer anger on the chancellor’s face more-or-less quieted everyone down, except for Flurry Heart, who had started crying.

Thorax kind of looked like he was going to cry, too. Shining ignored that and tried to quiet his daughter down.

“Enough!” Neighsay barked. “All of you need to be quiet! I was trying to be official here, but no! Everypony has to get a word in edgewise! Well, you know what? Fine! I don’t care! Shining Armor’s the one in charge! Whatever!”

Neighsay slumped back down into his chair and held his head in his hooves. Everyone else turned to stare at Shining Armor. Even Flurry Heart had stopped crying and was looking up at her father in surprise.

Shining almost couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. He might have thought he’d just misheard what Neighsay had said, but the way everyone was staring at him told Shining that wasn’t the case. The Prince of the Crystal Empire looked around at everyone else sitting at the table.

“… Beg pardon?” Shining asked quietly.

“Yes, it’s you,” Neighsay groaned. He sounded like he had the mother of all migraines. “You’re already the prince of the Crystal Empire. You’re related to most of the princesses. You’re the interim ruler.”

A heavy silence hung in the room while Neighsay rubbed his temples. After a few moments, Fancy Pants finally spoke up.

“Well. That works out, then,” he said chipperly. “I’ve got no issues with this decision.”

“Agreed,” Starswirl said in his old-man voice. “Now we can focus on important things, like how we can go about finding the princesses.”

Shining blinked in disbelief. Everyone was accepting all of this way too easily! They didn’t have any hang-ups about Shining Armor ruling the entire nation while the princesses were gone?

“Now, hold up…” Shining said.

“And lattes,” Thorax said, not holding up. “We can focus on lattes, too, right?”

“Indeed,” Starswirl said with a wise nod.

“Guys, hang on…” Shining said.

“I have several more meetings I need to attend,” Neighsay said. “Later today, we’ll be holding a much larger strategic meeting with Princess Twilight’s compatriots. For the time being, Prince Armor, consider all of us your cabinet. We’re all at your disposal.”

“Wait, I’m the ruler of a sovereign nation,” Thorax pointed out. “I don’t… think I can be drafted into another leader’s cabinet? I’m pretty sure, at least.”

Shining Armor was getting a little annoyed at everyone ignoring his protests. He looked down at Flurry Heart, who he was cradling in his hooves. She gave her dad a look of sympathy. She was clearly on Shining’s side here.

With a sigh, Shining looked back up at those gathered around the table.

“Okay, seriously, you—”

“This is preposterous!” Blueblood yelled out. “There must be some sort of mistake here! Shining Armor can’t be in charge of Equestria; he’s only been a prince for a few years! He lacks the experience!”

Shining was absolutely horrified to realize that he actually agreed with what Blueblood was saying. He briefly considered changing his opinion, but decided it ultimately wouldn’t be worth it.

Neighsay leveled Blueblood with an irritable glare.

“With all due respect, Prince Blueblood, he has enough experience for what’s required,” Neighsay said with barely hidden contempt. “He actually has experience running a nation. What do you have experience in?”

“Going to galas!” Blueblood snapped proudly. “And being handsome!”

That didn’t prove anything, but Blueblood was acting like he’d made an incredibly good point. Everyone else looked around the table, unsure of what exactly to say or do. Shining looked down at Flurry Heart to see if she had any ideas, but she was a baby and only wanted to look at shiny things. She wouldn’t be any help.

“Look, I’m… flattered you think I’m up to the job,” Shining said, trying to be tactful. “But I… don’t think I have what it takes to substitute for the princesses.”

“Well, of course you don’t,” Neighsay said quickly. “Nopony does. But you’re the best option we have and the least likely to somehow get everyone killed.”

Blueblood scoffed. “I wouldn’t get everyone killed,” he muttered petulantly.

“Rest assured, Prince Armor, the princesses’ advisors and chancellors will help to lighten the load,” Neighsay continued. “Your number one duty is to help keep everypony calm. The ponies of Equestria will need someone trustworthy in power to look towards for guidance in these troubling times. They’ll need someone who can look them in the eyes and tell them everything is okay… You know, by lying to them.”

Shining still wasn’t completely convinced. He knew that Neighsay was trying to reassure him, but it was hard to take comfort in the unicorn’s words. The guy sounded like he constantly had some sort of sinister scheme going on. He sounded more villainous than some villains Shining had met.

“I’m sure you can handle the job, Shining,” Fancy Pants, who did not sound like the living embodiment of dread, said. “And besides, I’m sure Princess Twilight’s friends will find the missing princesses in no time.”

Starswirl nodded. “Yes. Going by how these things have gone in the past, it should only take about half an hour; maybe an hour at most.”

Something about that didn’t seem quite right to Shining. Sure, normally he’d trust Twilight’s friends to solve whatever world-ending calamity was facing Equestria all on their own. But this time was different; Shining’s wife and sister were missing. Not helping to look for Cadence and Twilight felt… wrong.

“So, what?” Shining asked. “I’m just supposed to sit around and do nothing while Twilight’s friends take care of everything?”

“Yes,” Neighsay said with a nod. “Just like the princesses.”

Shining shook his head, frustrated. He let go of Flurry Heart so that she could stretch her wings. The young princess floated beside her father as he stood up and gave everyone in the room a very serious look.

“Well, you know what I think of that?” Shining Armor asked. “I think that’s a load of mashed potatoes right there.”

Thorax and Blueblood both gasped in shock.

“Prince Armor!” Neighsay chastised. “I realize you’re frustrated, but there’s no need to say things like that! Please calm down!”

“To heck with calm!” Shining raised his hoof so he could slam the table with authority. He didn’t want to startle Flurry Heart, however, so instead he wound up just lightly patting the table. “My two best friends are missing! I’m not going to just sit on the sidelines for this; I’m going to help in any way I can!”

“I’m with Prince Armor.”

Tempest Shadow surprised Shining by standing up as well.

“The princesses are missing; we need all of the expertise we can get,” she continued. “Also, I’m still not sure why I was brought to this meeting. I don’t even work for Equestria, really. I just do favors for the princesses sometimes.”

“Now is not the time for this!” Neighsay exclaimed. “I brought you all here for a reason, and certainly didn’t choose your names out of a hat at random. Shining Armor needs to remain in Canterlot and act as temporary leader. If he goes running off in search of the missing princesses, we’ll have no choice but to fill the position with the next available prince!”

All eyes turned towards Prince Blueblood, whose eyes had lit up like a bonfire.

“Well, that works out then!” Blueblood said excitedly. “Armor gets to go searching for auntie and the other princesses, and I get to be Equestria’s temporary leader! That seems fair, doesn’t it, Shi—”

“Okay, I’ll stay,” Shining said quickly. “Anything to avoid having Blueblood on the throne.”

“Excellent.” Neighsay stood up from the table and pressed his hoof to his badge. A small portal opened up behind him. “I have more random ponies to gather. Once Princess Twilight’s friends arrive, we will hold a strategy meeting to tell them what we know.”

“Do… do any of us need to be here for that?” Thorax asked, confused. “I’m not 100% clear on what Tempest or I could add.”

Neighsay ignored Thorax’s very reasonable observation. He turned and walked through the portal, which promptly closed behind him.

“… It seems like there probably could have been a more efficient way to handle all of this,” Tempest pointed out.

Comments

[KnightMysterio]

Neighsay proving to be as competent as always I see. XD

Okay, you have my interest.

[i_am_the_jam]

I think Fancy Pants is the mayor of Canterlot.

[Ri2]

I...actually feel sorry for Neighsay for a change? Wow.

Why IS Thorax here? Poor guy.

This is very funny. Look forward to seeing how this continues to blow up.

[Yoshifan30]

“You can all relax!” Blueblood exclaimed as he trotted into the room. “I’m here now! We can finally get the meeting underway!”

Oh brother this guy again 🙄

[Yoshifan30]

Well this was a certainly an interesting meeting here so not just only Shining Armor and flurry heart but fancy pants Star Swirl surprisingly thorax and Tempest Shadow AKA fizzlepop berrytwist showed up to the meeting to discuss about this whole situation and unfortunately who came in is Prince Blueblood and as annoying as ever but they wanted to wait until Twilight's friends gets here to plan it out the situation but until then the chancellor put Shining Armor in charge of Equestria until the princesses are found well then let's see how this will go