• Published 5th Aug 2019
  • 5,137 Views, 74 Comments

Awkward Celebrations - Vore Crimes



Fluttershy introduces Discord to her family... as her boyfriend.

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An Awkward Tea Party 1

Landing in Cloudsdale was awkward, to say the least. Rainbow Dash had been right. The few ponies walking the streets today were staring and hiding their foals as if he might spring out and attack them at any moment.

It irked Fluttershy.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She could have understood apprehension, even fear, but this, this was flat out disgust. Did Equestria really hold such a grudge against him?

Somewhere deep in the pit of her stomach, a seed of doubt sprouted.

Discord, for his part, was doing an excellent job ignoring the stares. He got looks all the time, whenever he was in Ponyville passing ponies would do a double-take when they thought he wasn’t looking. Honestly though, who were they kidding, he was Discord. If he didn’t know any better he’d consider it an insult to his perception. As far as he was concerned, this was just that, but more obvious. And, so long as Fluttershy’s parents were as understanding as she was he so no issue with what other ponies thought of him.

Fluttershy, on the other hand, seemed less happy with the attention.

Discord reached down with his clawed hand and ran it through her mane. Instinctively, Fluttershy pressed her head into his hand, letting him skritch behind her ear.

Skritch skritch.

“I can’t believe she’s actually letting him touch her.”

Fluttershy’s ear twitched.

“Yeah, isn’t she worried he’ll like turn her inside out or something?”

Skritch skritchy skritch.

“And look at those claws and fang. Isn’t she at all concerned with her safety?”

Fluttershy huffed, a stream of hot air blasting between her flared nostrils.

She upped her pace, hoping to leave their unwanted audience behind.

Discord kept pace easily, his cloven and clawed feet springing off the fluffy clouds.

Soon enough, they rounded a corner. The street that followed was blessedly empty.

“Well, well if it isn’t our old friend, Klutzershy.

Or not.

The insult drew here eyes to a nearby cloud. At the top stood Hoops, his dark brown hair obscuring his eyes as always. Flanking him on either side stood his two friends. Guffawing at their luck.

Honestly, what were the odds? Why on earth did she have to run into these three today?

“Looks like she couldn’t decide which pet to bring this time. So she just brought all of them.” Another one, Dumbbell, teased.

Fluttershy darted behind Discord, pushing her forehooves onto his tail and using it as a shield.

“Ugh, who are these fools?” Discord scoffed.

“Bullies, from flight school.” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Oh, hmm” Discord contemplated using his magic. He could make this whole problem go away if he really wanted to. But, in well over a thousand years of magic use, he’d learned a few things. Solving problems like these with magic usually created more trouble than it was worth.

“Klutzershy, you’ve really set the bar low on this one. He’s got to be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Time to get creative.

With a snap of his fingers, Discord turned his stomach into a mirror. Hoops was brought face to face with his reflection.

“I agree,” hummed Discord, “That creature is absolutely repulsive.”

“Hey-” Hoops started.

Discord plowed on, ignoring the pony, “I mean look at him: running around Cloudsdale on Hearth’s Warming day looking for ponies to pick on.”

“Shut up, weirdo, we’re not talking to you,” Dumbbell cut in.

“Weirdo? Is that the best you could come up with? Am I putting too much stress on your one communal brain cell? If you need words with fewer syllables please let me know. Or better yet, let me simplify this. I’m trying to help you.”

“Huh?” Dumbbell replied smartly.

“It says quite a bit about you that not even your parents want you around for Hearth’s Warming. Perhaps you should think before you act next time, you sacks of poorly packaged plant food.”

The three would-be bullies stood momentarily in stunned silence. Hoops' mouth worked furiously to come up with a response as he thought about Discord’s words. “Sack of poorly packaged… Hey! Wait a minute!”

Discord and Fluttershy were already gone.

“That wasn’t very nice of you, Discord,” Fluttershy scolded. Once they reappeared.

“They weren’t very nice either,” Discord replied sheepishly, palms out and shoulders shrugged.

“Still, don’t you think that was a little much?”

“Consider my meanness retroactively scaled for all the times they’ve been nasty to you, my dear.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“Fine,” Discord conceded, “It was a bit much, but I’m not apologizing.”

“As long as you understand,” Fluttershy said, her smile returning, she could compromise.


They stood together on the empty street. The sounds of merrymaking and celebration, muffled by thick cloud walls, emanated from surrounding houses.

Together, they walked towards Fluttershy’s house. Discord felt like he was walking through molasses. Every bone in his body was telling him there was no way this could work. Fluttershy was, after all, a kind, good, and lovable pony, and he, he was Discord.

Fluttershy walked to the door and raised her hoof.

Discord did his very best to get behind her, trying to make his comparatively massive form squeeze into her shadow.

Fluttershy’s knock was timid and quiet, yet to him, it sounded like a chorus of a thousand drums. There was a gentle swish of hooves on carpeted clouds, followed by the click of an unlocking door. Fluttershy pulled the door open and swept a dark yellow pony with bright red hair into a hug.

“Hi, Mom.”

Two more ponies followed the yellow one out, both were colored green. One was tall and slender with a yellow mane.

That must be her brother. What did she say his name was? Zephyr Sneeze?

The second stallion was clearly older, he had pink hair like Fluttershy’s.

And this must be Mr. Shy.

The two new ponies moved to join Fluttershy in a group hug until the brother noticed him. “SWEET CELESTIA WHAT IS THAT?” He screamed, pointing directly at Discord.

The rest of the Shy family’s heads turned collectively to follow his outstretched hoof.

Mr. and Ms. Shy’s mouths fell open, their pupils shrank to pinpricks and both took half a step back. Mr. Shy reached out to his daughter in an attempt to pull her back.

Fluttershy resisted his efforts, gently shrugging off his hoof, and walking over to Discord. She spun around to face her awestruck family, plopping her rear down next to him.

Once she made eye contact with her parents, her nervousness caught up to her. Her ears flattened against the back of her head, her eyes darting desperately between the somewhat incredulous faces of her family members.

“Mom, Dad, Zephyr, this is Discord. He’s my colt friend.

Discord swore those ponies could dislocate their jaws, it was the only explanation as to how they managed to gawk even wider at her.

“Erm,” Discord said gracefully giving the family a shy wave of his paw, ”Hello.”

Zephyr was the first to reassemble his thoughts. He briefly ignored Discord to direct his attention at his sister.

“He isn’t exactly a colt, sis”

Fluttershy’s gaze dropped to the ground. This wasn’t the reaction she expected. Should it have been?

“Um. Special somepony,” she amended.

“Celestia’s sake Fluttershy, he isn’t even a pony

Fluttershy felt tears prick into her eyes. It wasn’t fair, not do Discord and especially not to her. Why did they all go out of there way to look for flaws? She couldn’t even trust her own family to see how happy he made her and accept that.

She stamped her hoof, kicking up tufts of white cloud, and surging forward. She brought her nose level with her brother’s. Her glaring eyes meeting her brothers.

“No, he’s a draconequus, and he’s better than any pony.”

“Now now, let’s not fight outside,” her father intervened “your mother and I prepared tea, why don’t we all go inside and talk.”

“Yes, and I brought cloudcakes,” Ms. Shy added. She turned to Discord, her voice dropping ten decibels as she spoke to him. “Y-you umm. You don’t eat-“

She gave up on her question.

“Mom!” Fluttershy howled “Discord does not eat ponies.”

The Shy parents visibly relaxed.

Discord decided it was time to step in. “Cloudcakes sound wonderful, Ms. Shy,” he said.

As they walked back inside, Zephyr shot Discord a glare, squinting at him as if it would somehow magically make him disappear.

The inside of the Shy’s house was nice. A circular tea table sat at the center of the room. Four wooden stools sat neatly around it. A fifth made of darker wood had been drawn up. Around the assortment, various flora decorated every available windowsill and countertop.

The table itself was decorated with white porcelain teacups and plates, each with a frilly purple stripe painted meticulously around its edge.

In the center of the table, next to the tea kettle, lay a plate of white, fluffy, cloud cakes, each with ribbons of chocolate drizzled over the top.

“Oh Mom, this looks beautiful.”

“Thank you, Fluttershy. We wanted to make it special since you told us you were bringing your special-“ Ms. Shy suddenly remembered who she was talking about, and clammed up.

“Well, color me impressed,” Discord said, snapping his fingers and turning an angry shade of neon purple.

It was supposed to be funny.

Fluttershy giggled at least.

The rest folded their ears and gave him pained looks leaning away from him.

“Discord brought some food too,” Fluttershy said, trying to refocus her family.

“Oh! Yes, of course,” Ms. Shy said, not taking her eyes off it Discord.

Once more, Discord snapped his fingers, returning him to his normal color pallet. A silver platter of cucumber sandwiches appeared on his claw, each individual sandwich cut uniquely, ranging from a triangular slice to a perfect circle. It was a happy medium between his usual, flying, recipe, and the normality that almost erased him.

Fluttershy’s family eyed them, not sure whether or not they were safe to eat.

Fluttershy flapped her wings and brought herself up for the platter and grabbed a star-shaped sandwich from the center of the tray, and popped it into her mouth. Smiling at Discord as she did so.

Mr. Shy half-heartedly raised his hoof as if to stop her, but thought better of angering his daughter.

Discord laid the cucumber sandwiches in the center of the table, next to the cakes and the kettle.

After making sure that Fluttershy had not in fact been poisoned, everypony moved to sit at the table. Discord took the darkest of the chairs, pushing Fluttershy’s in before sitting in his.

He sat between Fluttershy and her father, Zephyr and Ms. Shy across from him. The first glaring daggers and the other trying her best to hide behind her teacup.

Mr. Shy cleared his throat. “So, umm, Discord, how did you meet our daughter.”

Discord chose his words carefully. She was the only pony I couldn’t corrupt with words alone. Seemed like the wrong answer.

“I met her while she was saving Equestria.” He said. Not technically a lie.

“From you,” Zephyr added, eyebrow raised.

“Beg pardon?”

“You met her while she was saving Equestria from you.”

“Well technically, yes.”

“There’s no technically about it! You were evil!”

“But he’s not evil now!” Fluttershy cried.

“How can you know that?”

“Discord did do bad things in the past, but he’s good now.” Fluttershy defended. “He saved me and my friends from the changelings.”

“Did you really?” Ms. Shy asked.

“I had help, but yes, I did.” Discord answered. “It would have been easier if Chrysalis didn’t have that magic rock of hers.”

And so, Discord launched into his long story of the changeling attack, talking about the former villains' quest to save Equestria.

Fluttershy listened to him with her usual rapt attention. Laughing when he’d made an image of Trixie ride a pig with wings. The rest of the Shy family paid attention as well. He was pretty sure he managed to eek the ghost of a smile out of Ms. Shy.

Yes! A win. Now, to press the attack.

“So, what do you do for work?”

“I used to work in a factory. I’m retired now, but my wife still works as a gardener.” Mr. Shy answered.

“Oh really? I must say, I was never really much interested in gardening until I decided to grow my own tea leaves.”

“You grow your own tea?” Ms. Shy perked up, gazing up at him.
Well, she’s not terrified. That’s a start.

“Well of course I do! No pony seems to be able to get me ginseng that actually sings. Rather uninspired if you ask me.”

He saw the hints of a smile tickle the corners of Ms. Shy’s mouth. “And what do you do for work?” she asked him.

“Well, I spend most of my time helping Flutters out with her animal sanctuary. But occasionally, my chaos magic is needed elsewhere.”

“Mom, Dad, don’t you get it? He’s a monster” Zephyr interrupted.

“No, he’s not!” Fluttershy shot back, defending her boyfriend. “And, I like him.”

“Well. Maybe you shouldn’t!”

Author's Note:

Hello everyone
Here's chapter 2. Chapter 3 is in the works but it'll take some time as I'm getting bogged down in work. It should be out by next week. This chapter was proofread bye muwun so be sure to leave a thank you to them. I'm still testing out a few writing styles here so if my chapters feel less succinct, I'm sorry. I hope you guys all enjoy.

Also, I know there is no RD in this chapter, but she'll be back.