• Member Since 7th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Krickis


I’m like a literary siren, feeding off the negative emotions of fictional characters. Patreon | Ko-fi

Sequels1

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This story is a sequel to In Pieces


Everything is going well for Scootaloo. She has the best friends anypony could ask for, an awesome older sister, and a wonderful and sweet boyfriend. Some days, it feels like she has everything.

So then what’s wrong with her that she hates being herself so much?


A story set in the Who We Become series.


Content warning: Although overall positive, this story contains issues relating to gender identity which may be dysphoria inducing to some readers.

Thanks go out to Eddie Grammar, Moonlight, Wendy Gowak, and TeamSpen210 for proofreading.
Cover art by Adgerelli.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 51 )

Aaa! I can't wait to read this in between Jinglemas stories right now.

9999545
Hope you enjoy it once you get the chance! :raritywink:

Loving this so far! Finally found some time to sit down and read something new, lol. Happy to see this series moving forward again. Will definitely be keeping up with it.

9999632
Nice! Glad to have you reading this, and I’m extra glad that you’re enjoying how it’s going :scootangel: Hope you continue to enjoy what I have in store for Scoots in this story!

How much series continuity do I need to know for this fic, if any?

9999706
Honestly you could probably just read this without reading the rest. There's an OC in it, Amber Glow, and you might care more about her story if you had read it to this point, but otherwise this is the first story that spotlights Scootaloo in this universe and even with Amber, all you need to know you can pretty easily glean from the story itself. Here's a quick summary of the only important event you're really missing from older stories, as well as some small details that pop up. Keep in mind that by this point, it's several years after canon, but only up to the first half of S5 is canon (so the CMC got their marks, but Starlight Glimmer never became Twilight's student, just cause I was writing this series before that happened).

Sunset Shimmer moved back to Equestria and entered a poly relationship with Twilight and Fluttershy, who were engaged at the time. Twishy gets married as planned, and then several years later, they marry Sunset as well. At her bachelorette party, in which her human friends visit Equestria and Amber Glow attends, it's revealed both that Scootaloo and Spike may be dating and that the human Scootaloo is transgender. Rainbow reveals the pony Scootaloo may have tried to talk to her about gender stuff, but she didn't realize that's what it was at the time. Amber only listens to the conversation, as she doesn't know Scootaloo, but the gender identity issue resonates with her and she considers it when she goes to sleep that night.

Other things you might want to know: Amber was friends with benefits with Luna for a long time, which Celestia was always standoffish about. She went back in the closet to appease her homophobic parents and get to see her little brother again. She came back out and started formally dating Luna, so the two of them are a couple as of very recently in the timeline (the last chapter of the last fic, in fact), and she is currently living in Canterlot with Luna. In non-Amber related news, Twilight's parents, whom Spike also accepts as his parents, now live in Twilight's castle. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Sunset are currently away on their honeymoon.

I hate that feeling of knowing something is wrong but not being able to determine what, why, if it's something short or long-term, or what you can even do about it- and so you do nothing and hope it goes away.

JMP

Well, that description is certainly familiar. Scootaloo and Amber going through the same feelings, I suppose.

Foolishly, Scootaloo had hoped this change of topic would be enough to get Rarity to forget about the makeup, but he had no such luck.

Jumping the gun a bit there, are we? And Rarity's insistence on designing Scootaloo a dress and doing her makeup seems...odd to me. She designed a suit for Amber for Sunset's wedding at like, the last minute because that was what Amber preferred wearing. Is Rarity just distracted by the news of Spike and Scootaloo dating, cus clearly Rarity has experience working with mares who aren't traditionally feminine.

9999920
Yeah, that is a terrible feeling... And one that for Scootaloo, will be addressed soon, at least.

9999991
Damn, someone from Patreon pointed out the same typo to me, and I fixed it on the original Google Doc, but then I just forgot to fix it here... Thanks for pointing it out, it was fixed now.

With Scootaloo and the dress, it’s more that Scoots has never told Rarity how much she doesn’t like dresses, and she certainly hasn’t told her she would prefer a suit (that’ll come up later). With Amber, Rarity always knew what she’d like, but she thinks Scootaloo is just more like Rainbow Dash in that she doesn’t like the whole design part but she’s fine with dresses themselves.

So then what’s wrong with her that she hates being herself so much?

Is it that she looks like a colt?

i cant believe i havent followed you until now, i loved playing house and im cuerently catching up on some of your other fics!! cant wait to see where this goes :twilightsmile:

10001541
Thank you so much, I hope you enjoy everything of mine you choose to read :scootangel:

That cover art :rainbowderp:

It feels like she's about to head to work at Stable-Tech :pinkiecrazy:

10006855
I feel like there’s a reference I’m missing here :twilightsheepish: Not sure what Stable-Tech is, I’m afraid.

10007149
Viewer discretion advised~

JMP

Hmm. Wasn't expecting Amber to have a POV chapter in this story at first, but it fit once they got to bed with Luna. Speaking of....you did use "she" after the switch once.

Amber grinned and rolled over so she could nudge Luna. “Aww, where’s your sense of adventure?”

Although besides the story description not mentioning Amber, the fact that this story is only going to be 6 chapters is another reason I wasn't really expecting anyone besides Scootaloo

10009789
Whoops thanks for pointing it out, I'll fix the pronoun slip :twilightblush:

Amber won't get much POV in this story, just this and one other chapter, while this will be the only chapter that isn't about Scoot at all. I just wanted to establish Amber's gender realization and pronoun change in a way that focuses on them specifically.

JMP

10009800
Y'know, I think gender neutrality is like, the first thing Luna doesn't really know much about when it comes to...being anything other than a cis/het monogamous person. Although we still give her another point for knowing about it and explaining the concept to someone in need.

10009936
Yeah, we finally hit a topic where she knows just enough to say she doesn't know. She's been in poly and same sex relationships before, so she has that personal experience there, but when it comes to gender stuff, especially nonbinary genders, she's not as familiar. My thought process is that she's only been in modern times for a few years now (off the top of my head, I want to say this is six or seven years since she returned from the moon, though I'd have to consult my notes to be more accurate so I may be wrong), so even though nonbinary genders aren't really a new thing, the terminology and everything around then didn't exist a thousand years ago before her banishment. And being cis herself, she's just not needed to look into it since returning.

JMP

10010063
Well according to In Pieces's description it's been 8 years. And this takes place shortly after so let's go with that.

10010070
Ah, you’re right, eight years it is then. Well, I did say I might be wrong lol :twilightblush:

JMP

I'd long since stopped watching the show by the time Scootaloo's aunts were introduced so I actually completely forgot they existed.

In any case, it's not surprising that Scootaloo wrenched an answer out of Rainbow after only a few days. Rainbow is not exactly...subtle, and she was kinda freaking out during In Pieces. It's also not surprising that Spike would accept Scootaloo as trans without question given his lesbian polyamorous sister who he loves unconditionally

Very sweet chapter. I'm really liking your characterization of Spike and Scootaloo especially.

10019916
I haven't intentionally stopped watching the show, but I'm very behind. I had to skip ahead to watch the episode with Scoot's aunts so that I knew how to write them lol

Yeah, Rainbow could only hold her ground for so long when Scoots got serious about getting answers. And Spike is just, like, the ultimate good :moustache:

10020223
Thank you, I'm glad to hear it :scootangel: I never specifically shipped them before, but I wound up really liking their dynamic when writing this.

JMP

Not sure why, but I find it amusing that the best solution in WWB's Equestria to finding answers to your questioning sexuality/gender is just ask Luna. Well, not like she solves every problem, but she's experienced a lot and has a lot of advice.

10031492
Luna knows all :moustache:
Seriously though, I think turning to someone who knows about stuff is usually a good idea. For this particular story, the reason it's Luna is to be able to bridge what's going on with Scootaloo and what's going on with Amber.

Okay. Several things.

First, I LOVE the idea of Discord having his pocket dimension in Fluttershy's old cabin. It's funny to me for some reason.

Second, how old are the CMC in this? I had pictured them in their teens, but you keep using mare/stallion instead of colt/filly so I'm unsure.

Third, really good chapter as usual. Really looking forward to how this story continues.

10032148
I hate writing Discord, but he can be pretty fun when he pops up. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, it’s my favorite from this story :twilightsmile:

I should have included their ages in the story itself I realize now... They’re sixteen, or at least Scootaloo and Spike are both sixteen (Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle might be either sixteen or seventeen, I’d have to check my notes but Scoots and Spike are the youngest of the four). So like, they’re old enough to be on the verge of “filly/colt” and “mare/stallion” but I opted for the later because A) teens always want to be seen as older so I figure that’s how they’d think of themselves, and B) I headcanon that Equestria gives autonomy to teens younger than we do because Pinkie and (in WWB) Fluttershy seemed to move to Ponyville rather young.

JMP

Well I for one enjoy the happiness. You've put these characters through the ringer and back, and they deserve a break before you throw them back in again.

Seriously, though, this was a great chapter.

10042033
I'm glad to hear that. I've been unsure how people would react to Amber's new pronouns since I know reading they/then pronouns can be awkward, so it's good to hear the chapter still worked out well :yay:

JMP

10042555
To be perfectly honest, I do find the pronouns awkward, but it's a personal problem I have, and not something I hold against the story.

10042568
Homie, I use they/them pronouns and for a while used them as my only pronouns, and once in a while it still trips me up. If it's a personal problem, it's one pretty much everyone shares :twilightsheepish:

Amber scratched at her neck. “Well, I haven’t exactly told many ponies. Luna has been of course, and she introduced me to a friend of hers who’s also genderqueer, who taught me a lot about it.

I assume that is supposed to be 'Luna has been great of course'
Or maybe 'Luna has been' is the princess of the night's full name but most ponies are just to scared to use it.

Amber grinned as they launched into the story. They always liked to tell it, even if for Fox Glove’s sake, they kept to the short version this time. “When I was thirteen, two of my friends got into a fight. I mediated between the two of them and got them both to open up to me. They both had something they didn’t want to say, but once I got the whole story from them, I was able to get them to see that it was all a misunderstanding.”

Its a bit strange saying this about a fic that is itself a MLP fan fic; but that right there is the most 'my little pony' paragraph of the whole WWB.

“I know,” Scootaloo said sadly. “I’ve seen enough of Twilight, Fluttershy, and Sunset’s problems to know how ponies can be.”

I might be late to realise this but have the names always been in that order when talking about the trio? I get that the names are ordered like this because of how Krickis likes Fluttershy in the middle in their favourite shipping name for them.
TwiShySet me thinks...
or not me wonders.

Regardless good to see the world building with the queer friendly locations popping up in cities. A rather different look at the city than in 'In Pieces' showed us. And all round very enjoyable!

Great chapter! It's always great seeing Amber again.

Gotta admit, I was waiting for some kind of drama. That bottle of pony tears your sona has in that one pic is likely running suspiciously low. :trixieshiftright:

But still. You do happy stuff just as well as dramatic stuff. ^^

*Rolls up to reply to comments wicked late with Starbucks*

10043097
I dunno if I've always put TwiShySet's name in that order, but I do kinda do it naturally. Pretty sure it was intentional there lol.

The tea bar was actually meant to be in In Pieces, but wound up getting cut when I decided to have less of the story take place in Filly. I liked the idea of it being somewhat polarized, somewhere Amber had been able to explore themself but only by knowing where to go l

10043218
Lol I was pretty burnt out from all the drama in Playing House, so I decided I wanted to tone it down for this story. Plus I figure a lot of trans narratives are about overcoming adversity (which is also something I've done several times now), so it might be fun to just write about someone going through a mostly positive if somewhat awkward experience.

JMP

Ok, there was some sad parts, so everything makes sense now. Can't have a completely happy story in WWB now can we?

A great story. Had a ton of fun reading it. ^^

10053486
Hehehe had to get the drama in there somewhere :scootangel:

10053556
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

It's kinda the same message as in pieces, just through a different plot. The idea that you can't sacrifice what you are in order to keep something or someone is in both, but in very unique ways. In both fics, Amber and Scootaloo have something that will go away if they express themselves, but still in kind of opposite ways: Amber is intentionally suppressing their emotions, while Scootaloo is only somewhat aware of them. Similarly, what they gain from suppressing themselves follows that theme: Amber believes they will lose their brother, and Scootaloo doesn't seem to understand the full extend of what being ftm will do to his relationship. Both stories also end differently: Amber, kind of coming from a rough place gains a relationship, and maintains their brother (the main thing Amber was afraid of losing), and Scootaloo loses a relationship, when he wasn't—at least not from what I picked up—aware this was a likely scenario, mainly because spike also believed who Scootaloo was is more important than a relationship. I like this contrast between the fics a fair amount, actually.

Also, seeing nb pronouns in writing may be awkward to read, but for some reason it wasn't in this fic. In a wierd way, it actually made me more confident in using them.

10078316
As I'm sure you figured, the comparison and contrast between the two stories was intended (thus the linked names). It came about because my girlfriend commented that In Pieces felt like it deserved a second act dedicated to Scootaloo, but I didn't want to give him the spotlight in what was intended to be Amber's story, so I wound up deciding on making a companion story to In Pieces. I'm really glad it went over so well with you :yay: And I'm glad to hear that the nonbinary pronouns worked well, it's something I was super nervous about when I decided to have Amber use them.

10183001
It'll be out August 2nd, although it doesn't follow Amber and Scootaloo. The next story in this universe will follow Twilight, Fluttershy, Sunset, and Spike going on a road trip. In the meantime, Thicker Than Water is a story in this universe which will update every week until it ends, after which the sequel to this story will come out.

It’s about time we transed some genders around here. I was getting a little tired of all these cis... :pinkiesick: cisgenders

The V.E.S. was right when they said that O&O would lead to all sorts of moral failings such as devil worship, drugs, and transgenderism.

10188147
Too true, O&O is a gateway to heathenism

Spike is such a solid fucking dude I swear

10042572
“So that means he was born a girl and wants to be a boy, right?”
Makes me so mad

10210902
He really is. I was concerned that people might be upset at him breaking up with Scoots, but I'm glad to say that people have been positive about everything :yay:

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