Standing outside the royal guard training ground, blood coated bandages over my hands. I've been training with Shining for the last month, while the results are not tremendous, I can feel my body growing stronger and my instincts getting sharper, my VIT, DEX and STR had increased a bit during this month, leaning slightly against the door, I think that there must be a way to improve my strength faster, “but how?”
'I'm starting to think, Shining is just beating the crap out of me for the memes,' I thought feeling the pain in my body.
As I made my way back to the castle, I remembered that a particular “villain” bought an old and evil artefact to enact her pathetic revenge, perhaps I could get that Artefact before she gets her hands on it.
'If I remember correctly, Trixie bought it after her humiliation in PonyVille,' I thought, 'And her skill with magic was at best average, so that means that you don't need to be strong to use that relic, and the “gamer mind” should block the curse that the amulet inflicts on its wearer, also she managed to get the money for it by working on a rock farm, so I'm pretty sure I can buy it. The real question is where is it, close to PonyVille?, the rock farm?, the show never specified’. I’ll need to start my search in PonyVille and go from there.
I was ready to go, after taking a long bath, a really long bath to clean my blood-stained fur I was prepared to leave. The train station was massive but cosy, with several tables and seats around. Behind the booth a friendly-looking fellow was selling the train tickets — All I needed was to buy some maps, and with the amount of bits I had at my disposal, well anything was possible, as I make my way to my train, a bright flash appears in front of me out of nowhere, out of instinct I used my observe skill.
<Princess of the Night and the Moon> LV??? Luna HP: ???????/?????? MP: ??????/?????? Information: Princess Luna is an Alicorn with a vast amount of magical powers who can raise and lower the moon with her magic. Despite this, she is capable of controlling the weather and is capable of shapeshifting. Her unique ability is to enter other ponies dreams.
Weakness: Blueblood and Celestia. What she wants right now: ????????????????????????
'What in the hell, she already loves me?!, these people develop feelings for each other way too fast' I thought surprised to see that I was one of Luna's weaknesses.
"Greetings dear Nephew, where art thou going?" Luna asks with a curious look on her face, oblivious to the fact everyone around was kneeling, some out of respect, others out of fear.
"Well, I love collecting antique’s, so I decided to do a little window shopping, hopefully, something catches my eye," I replied, 'I'm not lying, that amulet is an antique,' Luna shouted in her Canterlot voice, "What a wondrous hobby, let us accompany you!"
'If I say no, I'm 100% sure this will come to bite me in the ass later...and I guess I did say if she needed anything to come to me.' I thought while sighing and giving Luna a big smile, "Sure Aunty, the more, the merrier."
Luna shouted again, entering the train, and dragging me along with her, "Huzzah! The fun has been doubled!"
'She sure is happy.' I thought, smiling despite my current situation, this might not be a part of my plan, but she's been suffering for one thousand years, she needs this, more than I need that relic.
After two and a half hours of Luna shouting we finally arrived at PonyVille train station, I was able to see a road to the town square, the town was pretty small but was pretty lively — no wonder Celestia sent Twilight here, considering how good-hearted the people seem at first glance at least. This was a fantastic choice; I got my maps... well actually Luna did, she shouted in her regal voice until someone gave us the maps. I’m pretty sure some of them might be deaf, and I close to that point too.
"Wonderful! We are here!" Luna shouted in her regal voice, CRUS-hugging me.
'Cant take this any longer!' I thought, "Aunty, I do love you, I really do, but please, I beg you! Stop using the Canterlot voice, please!"
"Oh, many apologies, we never meant to cause thee discomfort, we should not have come," Luna said in a low tone while pouting.
'Fuck...' "Oh no aunty, your presence is making this trip better, it's just I have quite sensitive ears. " I said with a pained smile. "We can go out any time you want! Just please keep the royal voice contained"
"We shalt keep the royal voice inside…. for now," Luna said with a playful smile on her face, "and I'll take thy offer, again."
'Did I just get played by Luna? oh hohohoh, it's on!' I thought with a mischievous smile on my face.
As I walk with Luna through the town, I see off to the east; there's a side street lined with small shops, for being such a small town it had stores for nearly everything, I kept walking with Luna until we saw an antique shop.
The shop owner I suppose, seeing that I was approaching looks up his desk and comes running towards me, "Welcome to the Antique & Candles shop, how may I help you today" the says, grinning from ear to ear as he began looking in our direction. "What're you looking for today, ohh Y-Y-YOUR HIGHNESS!!!! "
Chuckling, I turn to Luna, "Aunty, let's divide and conquer this shop, and find stuff worth collecting!" I said with a playful tone.
"We shall conquer thine shop! For our kingdom! For our empire! For Equestria!!!" Luna said, charging inside the store.
'She is too adorable, damn it!' I thought watching her rush inside the store.
"Hello good sir, I’m looking for something quite particular that I hope you can help me with," I said, leaning close to the guy.
"A pleasure to meet you, y-your highness!" The man quickly bows to me, "Please! Describe what you need, and if I have it, it's yours."
I started to describe the item the best I can, without saying or implying its use of dark magic and possibly being cursed, though unfortunately, he didn't have it.
"Thank you for your time anyway, though do you know where we might find something like it?" I ask the man.
"There are plenty of stores for antiques around this area, but the closest one that might have something like it would be Arielle and the Dark Side, the store is located one mile north to the Pie family’s rock farm." The man answers shuddering a bit, "I wouldn't recommend going there though, the guy that runs it is crazy."
'Well, that sounds like a good place to look' I thought while resisting the urge to facepalm at myself, the fact that the store had the most obvious name if you're looking for evil shit.
"Aunty! Onto the next store, our quest is not yet done!" I shout, when she didn’t immediately come running I grew worried, a second later I found her looking at a very old bronze toy sitting in a display case. "What ya’ got there, aunty?"
"Oh umm well, t-t-they use to sell these we were young, w-we thought it would be a great addition to your collection." Luna said, ‘It must be something she remembers from before the nightmare’
I turn to the shop keeper, trying to hide a smile "How much for the toy?" "Oh it’s uh 15,735 b-bits my prince, I’m sorry, but it's one of the oldest items in my collection," he answers with a worried look on his face.
Opening my coin purse and pulling out the largest bit that I had and tossed it to him, before grabbing Luna and heading out.
“M-M-My Prince wait!!!”
"We are heading to another shop that’s close to the Pie's rock farm," I tell Luna.
"Wonderful! Are they related to miss pie?" Luna asks,
"Might be, let’s find out," I replied pretending to be oblivious,
We managed to get a carriage with someone that knew where the Pie's farm was located, two hours on the road and we arrived, the carriage drops us off at the farm, I pay the guy to stay and wait for us, standing outside the rock farm, I see five ponies working the farm, just from glancing at them I start to ask myself one question, how in the hell are they related to Pinkie.
As I approach the farm, to ask for better directions on how to get to the evil Antique shop, I notice the path to the farm is just packed dirt and broken rock pieces, everything around this place is grey and depressing, but the air is practically humming with energy.
"This... is not what we expected," Luna whispers leaning close to me,
"This is more depressing than Aunty Celestia acting," I whisper back as we approach the farmers.
"Hahaha indeed!" Luna whispers between giggles,
"I can't believe Pinkie Pie and these pies are related," I whisper as I notice the pies noticed our presence.
"These pies and pinkie pie can’t be related at all." Luna whispers while smiling and waving at the pies, "I can't find any faults with that train of thought aunty." I whisper while doing the same,
Once we were close enough, I approach Maud and with a big smile. "Hi miss, I'm prince Blueblood, and this is my aunt princess Luna, we need your guidance," I said,
"Two royals... on our farm, what a joyous occasion, I'm ecstatic," Maud said in a monotone tone, showing no emotion what so ever.
"No need! We just needed some directions, if you don't mind, of course? We heard that there was an antique shop close to your family farm and were wondering if you could point us in the right direction" I ask.
"Of course anything for the royal family... you just need to take the northeast path, for one mile, you'll see the store, there's nothing there but the store and some beautiful rose quartz," Maud said in the same monotone tone,
"Thanks, it was a pleasure to meet you, miss?" I said, asking her name in the end, just to make my life easier, I don't want to have to explain why do I know her name, out of curiosity I used observe on her
<Maud Pie the Knight apprentice> LV49 Maud Pie HP: 47500/47500 MP: 1850/1850 Information: Maud is often depicted with a blank neutral facial expression with her eyes half-closed and a dry demeanour that contrasts her more upbeat sister. She tends to talk in a rather monotonous and dry tone of voice. She never smiles except for a few occasions while interacting with her closest friends such as Pinkie, she has a deep fascination for rocks and things related to them, she also loves to do stand up comedy, Maud is extremely good in hand to hand combat, and her calm demeanour makes her a powerful foe.
Weakness: Pinkie Pie and ??????. What she wants right now: To find her pet, and see Pinkie Pie again.
'What that hell!?, she's almost as powerful as Shining!' I thought surprised, 'A Knight apprentice? Does that mean she works for the crown?... I'll investigate that later...’
"Wonderful, thanks! Bye!" Luna said, waving goodbye and teleporting to us back to the carriage.
I give the directions to the carriage driver, and the guy proceeds to take us to the place while glaring at Luna ‘she didn’t let me get Maud’s name.’
After thirty minutes on the road, I see a small shop tucked off to the side of the road. Looking through the windows, I see its wooden walls covered with creepy paintings that seemed to shift as I walk in. The paintings remind me of the weird symbols I saw in the nightmare realm, that makes me shudder. A small open sign hangs askew above the door, leaving my Aunt for a moment, with the excuse of 'If they see you, aunty, they'll charge me double, just wait here for fifteen minutes'.
Pushing open the door to the shop, a mysterious shadowy man immediately greets me, the only thing I can see from him, are his white, extremely white teeth. I jump in surprise and quickly look around the store, I can see many shelves full of magical items.
The man starts to giggle "A customer! What a wonderful surprise...hehehe" a creepy aura, almost like the nightmares was all I could be feel around him. He spoke with an unnatural joy, "Call me S," he said, clasping his hands together and leaning forward, "and what can I do for you, Bluey?"
'I'm starting to rethink coming here,' I thought, "I'm looking for an ancient amulet, that looks like--" I couldn't finish my explanation, cause the guy silenced me with a hand and with the other pointed to one of his shelves.
"Is this what you're looking for?" he asks with a wide grin "It's yours if you can pay the price."
"How much?." I ask, 'This guy knows what he's selling,'
"200 Bits," The creepy man answers, "The real price, comes later.” He says nearly cackling.
'He must be thinking about the corruption that the amulet brings with it,' I thought, "Alright, here you go," Lifting out another one of my largest coins and holding it out to him, I expect him to take the coin immediately, but he almost seems surprised.
He takes a moment to stifle himself before picking up my coin and looks at me and laughs “I said 200 hundred bits, not 100,000.” Placing a hand on his chest and looking amused, “or are you tipping me for the great service.” He reaches over faster than I can react and snatches two of my silver coins with his other hand, he takes a moment and tosses the coin to me, and says “two coins like this little prince.”
Weakness: Wouldn't you like to know gamer boy- ?????. What he wants: ?????????
“Did you just... that’s rather rude, don’t you know?” The man said with a wide smile, appearing behind me putting a hand on my shoulder, “you shouldn’t have done that”, I could feel something pierce into my shoulder blade.
Mana has been completely drained, Mana regeneration has been blocked Deadly poison has entered your system
'He's crushing my shoulder, and he drained my mana in a second,' I thought, keeling over in pain, the pain he was putting me in with a single hand was the worst I had ever experienced, I could hear the bones on my shoulder being crushed.
"But don't feel bad, it's not like I planned to let you leave alive, after all, you bought something from me, but couldn’t pay the price." The shop owner said almost whispering to my ear, "I mean, after all, if the amulet can't corrupt you, you can’t pay."
"Fuck you!" Giving the man my middle finger, and feeling my HP begin to drain slowly but surely to zero.
"Die~" The shop owner raised his other hand and was ready to strike me down, but instead someone stopped him, I hear a bone-cracking, and thankfully it wasn't one of mine.
Shop Owner P.O.V
"Die~" I was about to kill the pretentious prince, and no one was able to stop me, or at least that's what I thought, just when I was about to strike the prince, someone appeared behind me, grabbing my wrist and crushing it with pure strength breaking every bone in it, I immediately turn around to find Princess Luna, holding my broken wrist, 'The spells around the store should have kept her out of the loop with the things happening inside, how did she find out,'
"Take thy hand off him, and we'll see thy death quick," Luna said letting her blood lust run wild,
"Let's reconsider this shall we," I replied, trying to buy time, but my face is struck by Luna's foot, sending me out of the cabin.
"A slow death it is then, let's us battle to our heart's content," Luna said appearing behind me, with her hand extended pointing at me, mana was gathering around the palm of her hand, "Lunar retribution!" the explosion that followed that destroyed half of the forest,
"The mistress won't be happy with this," I said cleaning the debrief of my clothes,
"Like we care," Luna said in front of me, our faces were one of two inches away, she had a cocky smile on her face, and behind that smile, I could see her fury, "Celestial judgement!" ray of lights started to pierce the clouds above and fall down upon me, I had a hard time dodging, in fact half of those raining stars hit their target, the attack made a huge area be a clouded in the blown-up dirt. I couldn’t see anything, kneeling on the ground, ’ I had my chance to kill a royal, but I let it slip through my hands’, I could feel Luna approaching me slowly while clapping her hands.
"Impressive, it takes a lot to survive two of our attacks, then again, we were just playing with our food." Luna said kneeling to my level and putting her hand on my face and giving me a warm smile and sighing, "But playtime is over, no more nice Luna," with no impulse or magic she slapped my face, and the force alone broke the sound barrier, and it sent me flying to a close mountain.
"Princess, you should reconsider this," I said coughing blood,
"Or what? For us, you’re not but an ant that is in our way." Luna said, approaching me while summoning her weapon, a terrifying scythe that had an ice-like mist around it.
"Well for starters, your dear nephew, is dying.” Holding up my gloves, needle still pocking out. “I manage to poison him; you can kill me or save him; it’s your choice," I said, struggling to stand up.
Luna’s face immediately turned white, I knew she was confirming my words with her magic, and once she got her answer, she gave me a terrifying look and teleported to his side, that gave me the chance to teleport out of her sight and report back to my master.
I finally managed to escape Luna, but someone has been chasing me since then, a jolt runs up my spine, as I feel a second person begin to approach. I stumble into a panicked run trying to escape. The footsteps keep getting louder and louder until I feel like they're right on my heels. I realise that they're going to catch up with me sooner or later. I summoned my sword. It’s all I can do with the mana I have left.
It's a pair of earth ponies, one of them is showing nothing but his hands, he has a robe covering his entire body, the other one, is an old man around his late 50’s with a bunch of weapons on his back, from staffs to swords, anything you can think of. His appearance wasn't anything out of the ordinary, brown fur and a grey moustache, I recognise them immediately, The Silent Knight and The Weapon Master, two knights serving Equestria.
"So you finally stop running. I must thank you for that. I'm getting too old for these cat and mouse scenarios." The old earth pony said with a faint smile, the silent knight remains silent.
"Two knights, just for me? I’m flattered. Well, it seems I won't be able to see my master again, ehh she would have killed me for failing to kill a royal that was served to me on a silver platter anyway." I said sighing,
The silent knight begins to approach me, with every step the ground around his feet cracks, the old man pulls a glaive of his back and looks towards me. "I'm glad the Princess made our work easier, can't say how this fight could it have ended if you had all your strength,"
"I might die tonight, but I'll at least take one of you with me!" I shouted, might as well try to throw them off, I was desperate if only I had my full strength.
“Save the bravado.” the silent knight said as he approached me,
"Let's get his over with; I have a business to run." The weapon master lunged forward, quickly approaching me, reading his glaive, he shifted his footing, and with a fast, swift swing he tried to cut my head off. I ducked forward to evade the attack and retaliate by cutting his legs, but with a quick yet precise movement the old man changed the direction of his attack with enough strength to stab the ground with his glaive and use it as a support to avoid my attack, in mid-air the old man pulled an axe from his back and threw it at me. I barely manage to dodge it, and I tried to open some distance between us, but the Silent Knight stops me.
"Heavy impact style, state 0," the silent knight said, throwing a punch at my chest, I summon a mana shield around me, but it shatters completely once the hit connects. The punch sends me rolling a couple of meters away from them if I could take this chance to escape, but after that single punch, I had trouble standing up. 'Damn it!, I used all my mana stopping Luna from one-shotting me,' I thought while vomiting up blood. 'Though the only reason I survived was that she was extremely debilitated, she still hasn't recovered her full power.' I'm kicked out of my train of thought because several daggers are coming my way. I manage to dodge most of them, but some manage to cut my arm,
From above I feel imminent danger approaching, I turn my head up "Heavy impact style, state 1" the knight brings his foot to the ground, I manage to dodge the kick by mere inches, but the impact on the ground makes a crater, I tried to jump out, but I can feel my body failing.
"You should dodge faster next time, kiddo," The weapon master said, slowly approaching me, "Poison... isn't that a poetic way to die? I mean, after all, you tried to kill the prince with that,” he says while picking up one of the tossed daggers. I try to speak, but I can't even move my mouth.
"Don't, I know you're trying to talk, but the poison is already shutting down your system," The weapon master says, kneeling to my level. "You see this is an incredibly effective little thing, but even a good poison takes it time to affect the victim, that's why I poisoned you when started our little clash."
I see the man in front of me smiling, while I wonder when he did it, he didn't cut me or anything, not until the daggers.
"Sorry about this kid." The man says taking a sword of his back and uses it to point to his shoes, and I can see a small fan-like blade sticking out of it. ‘Huh… well, shit’ and with a fast and precise movement, my life ended.
Weapon Master P.O.V
Well that’s that, finished the assignment, and thanks to Princess Luna it was easier than it should have been, without mana to spare the guy didn't check his system for poisons not until it was too late.
"You go home, boy, I have a head to deliver," I said, getting a nod from the boy,
Blueblood P.O.V
I wake up with a huge yawn and started stretching, rolling out of bed and gathering my thoughts on what that the hell happened. It’s still dark out, the last thing I remember was Luna kicking the guy out of the store...literally. ‘She must have brought me here’. I thought as I looked around the medical centre in the castle.
'What that hell happened’ I thought while getting off the bed, 'THE AMULET!' pulling my inventory in a rush there it was, the Alicorn Amulet.
<Alicorn Amulet>
X4 INT X4 WIS
Binds to it user once equipped: Only the user can take the amulet off.
Curse: Descend to Madness, it slowly corrupts the user to become unstable , until the user dies.
'Uff I still have the amulet' I thought happily, putting the amulet on me right away, 'Now let's check my stats and then find out where Luna is to thank her for saving my ass,'
'Wow my INT and WIS are super high now,' I thought, watching my stats, 'Now let's find Luna and see if she can give me more information about what the fuck happened'
Luna P.O.V
After healing my dear Vlad, I went to tell my sister the news, entering her room in a dash I see her talking with some guards, she turns around and sees me.
“She’s back isn’t she,” Celestia says with a worried look,
I turn my head to see the ceiling contemplating that statement. The ones that single-handily took everything from us once thought gone, returned. “And if she’s back she’s not alone.”
“I know, we must prepare, the war is starting anew, and this time we don’t have Shade, Aura or Amore with us.” My sister says barely managing to hold back tears.
I clench my fist in anger “They have harmed my family again, and they will pay for that! Even if it is the last thing, I do!”
Author's Note:
Hey good news, I have a writing schedule for this fic!, I'll be posting one chapter every week! from 3000-8000 words
also if someone can help me find the artist for the maud pie art, that would be highly appreciated.
Lovely, plz update quickly, absolutely loved it, original idea so far with the amulet (at least first I’ve seen), ancient enemy, plz do hurry, I want to find out what next
Love the update, lots of interesting hints and foreshadowing. Also its always nice to see the royal sisters power properly portrayed. In my opinion the only reason Celestia and Luna don't go curb stomping every villian is because they would wind up nuking everything and everypony around them.
Also I'm happy you got some kind of a writing schedule for this story.
"Impressive, it takes a lot to survive two of our attacks, then again, we were just playing with our food." Luna said kneeling to my level and putting her hand on my face and giving me a warm smile and sighing, "But playtime is over, no more nice Luna," with no impulse or magic she slapped my face, and the force alone broke the sound barrier, and it sent me flying to a close mountain.
"You should dodge faster next time, kiddo," The weapon master said, slowly approaching me, "Poison... isn't that a poetic way to die? I mean after all you tried to kill the prince with that, he says while picking up one of the tossed daggers." I try to speak, but I can't even move my mouth.
I turn my head to see the ceiling contemplating that statement. The one’s that single handily took everything from us once thought gone, returned. “And if she’s back she’s not alone.”
"You should dodge faster next time, kiddo," The weapon master said, slowly approaching me, "Poison... isn't that a poetic way to die? I mean after all you tried to kill the prince with that, he says while picking up one of the tossed daggers." I try to speak, but I can't even move my mouth.
For starters, in the first line, the author capitalizes the The that comes after the first string of dialog when it should be lowercase as it is all part of the same sentence. Second, because the author chose to place a dialog tag between the weapon master's opening dialog and the following dialog, the word Poison needs to be lowercase as it is not starting a new sentence. Third, immediately following the second error, there's a space placed after the ellipsis attached to Poison in the first line. This isn't actually incorrect, but consistency is important, and the author flips between having a space after(or before) the ellipsis over the course of the chapter. A fourth mistake occurs just a few words after the third error when the author forgets a comma after the word mean and all. This is because after all is an unrestrictive clause in the sentence and, as such, needs to be surrounded by commas. The fifth, and technically sixth, errors are found, just as before, a few words down in the same sentence. The author mistakingly places the closing quotation mark for the weapon master's dialog at the end of the entire sentence instead of at the end of the dialog. And finally, the last sentence should be placed in a separate paragraph, not tacked onto this one. This is because paragraphs should only have one idea or viewpoint in them, not multiple. This paragraph already establishes itself as being from the weapon master's perspective, so switching to the Shop Keeper's should be done in a separate paragraph.
That covers all the grammatical errors, but I could continue on with the more nuance errors, such as in the first line where the weapon master remarks that the Shop Keeper should dodge faster next time. In saying that, he, the one attempting to kill the Shop Keeper, is implying there will be a next time.
This has been a friendly grammar lesson: brought to you by a helpful nitpicker. =)
Thanks for the chapter, I like that you chose to make trouble appear when he is still weak instead of giving him enough time to get op like in most 'the gamer' story. While I like many of those story anyway it kill the satisfaction of progression inherent to rpg the power is inspired from a little.
I have a question, on the first sentence you mention blue blood had blood covered bandages, didn’t he had the gamer powers. (No physical damage will be perceive but instead his hp will decrease) what happend?
9896143 Well , there is a lot of gray area in a gamers body , for example in Skyrim you bleed , and that’s just one of the many games that your character bleeds, he recovers faster than anyone should recover and wounds don’t stick with him very long , but for the sake of making him look normal bleeding is necessary even if is only for show,
The physical damage doesn’t persist and he can move and act normally at a full potential with his body as long he has hp, but for the sake of appearances he will bleed consider the bleeding just for show.
9897524 Lol, that was just me having some fun. You don't need to go out of your way to fix every tiny little grammar infraction. As it is, your story is perfectly readable. Honestly, it took me close 30 minutes to type that comment, most of the time being spent closely scrutonizing the passage for anything I could nitpick at.
9898425 I know but it’s good for me to improve, specially since English is my second language, every mistake people call out is something I can improve , so thanks for yer time hehe.
He takes a moment to stifle himself before picking up my coin and looks at me and laughs “I said 200 hundred bits, not 100,000.” Placing a hand on his chest and looking amused, “or are you tipping me for the great service.” He reaches over faster than I can react and snatches two of my silver coins with his other hand, he takes a moment and tosses the coin to me, and says “two coins like this little prince.”
Two silver coins.... The great service... He was Charon, the Ferryman of Hades, wasn't he?
Kind of a dangerous move he's making, just blindly assuming that the Gamer's Mind will protect him from corrupting effects. Plus now he's going to have to explain why he's wearing it, how he knew about it, and why he's immune.
Support us
Chat!
Lovely, plz update quickly, absolutely loved it, original idea so far with the amulet (at least first I’ve seen), ancient enemy, plz do hurry, I want to find out what next
Love the update, lots of interesting hints and foreshadowing. Also its always nice to see the royal sisters power properly portrayed. In my opinion the only reason Celestia and Luna don't go curb stomping every villian is because they would wind up nuking everything and everypony around them.
Also I'm happy you got some kind of a writing schedule for this story.
I'm spotting shitty editing and I'm not happy several mistakes that are easily noticed. Should have read over it again.
9891753
You’re a precious cinnamon of editing, love ya .
Yas
you won't need shade or amore. if you bothered to actually train twilight, you would only need the new bluey, and twilight
I was expecting it to try and Corrupt him, but due to Gamers Mind it instead get's Purified and is Doubled in power.
I mean, I don't think it was ALWAYS an Evil Artifact.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/3/286778/medium.jpeg
To quote Kain from Legacy of Kain: Defiance, "I could promise the same... but it would be a lie."
Reminds me of...
Uh... I sense an error here.
The ones that single-handedly
9892024
Thanks I’ll fix that
9892022
There are a few errors. =)
For starters, in the first line, the author capitalizes the The that comes after the first string of dialog when it should be lowercase as it is all part of the same sentence. Second, because the author chose to place a dialog tag between the weapon master's opening dialog and the following dialog, the word Poison needs to be lowercase as it is not starting a new sentence. Third, immediately following the second error, there's a space placed after the ellipsis attached to Poison in the first line. This isn't actually incorrect, but consistency is important, and the author flips between having a space after(or before) the ellipsis over the course of the chapter. A fourth mistake occurs just a few words after the third error when the author forgets a comma after the word mean and all. This is because after all is an unrestrictive clause in the sentence and, as such, needs to be surrounded by commas. The fifth, and technically sixth, errors are found, just as before, a few words down in the same sentence. The author mistakingly places the closing quotation mark for the weapon master's dialog at the end of the entire sentence instead of at the end of the dialog. And finally, the last sentence should be placed in a separate paragraph, not tacked onto this one. This is because paragraphs should only have one idea or viewpoint in them, not multiple. This paragraph already establishes itself as being from the weapon master's perspective, so switching to the Shop Keeper's should be done in a separate paragraph.
That covers all the grammatical errors, but I could continue on with the more nuance errors, such as in the first line where the weapon master remarks that the Shop Keeper should dodge faster next time. In saying that, he, the one attempting to kill the Shop Keeper, is implying there will be a next time.
This has been a friendly grammar lesson: brought to you by a helpful nitpicker. =)
9892247
Jeez. And I thought that I was a grammar nazi.
So others have this 'system' huh? Intresting. Very interesting.
If both his Int and Wis are at 80 times 4, then why is his Int 320 while his Wis is at 164? Shouldn't they both be at 320?
Thanks for the chapter, I like that you chose to make trouble appear when he is still weak instead of giving him enough time to get op like in most 'the gamer' story. While I like many of those story anyway it kill the satisfaction of progression inherent to rpg the power is inspired from a little.
Hope to see more of your story.
9892455
Thanks , for noticing that, WIS should be lower.
Took some digging but I found you a source for Maud. Credit goes to shilzumi on DeviantArt.
9894616
Thanks!
STATS are okay now,
I have a question, on the first sentence you mention blue blood had blood covered bandages, didn’t he had the gamer powers. (No physical damage will be perceive but instead his hp will decrease) what happend?
9896143
Well , there is a lot of gray area in a gamers body , for example in Skyrim you bleed , and that’s just one of the many games that your character bleeds, he recovers faster than anyone should recover and wounds don’t stick with him very long , but for the sake of making him look normal bleeding is necessary even if is only for show,
The physical damage doesn’t persist and he can move and act normally at a full potential with his body as long he has hp, but for the sake of appearances he will bleed consider the bleeding just for show.
9896937
Can he lose limbs ? Or if stab does his hp depletes until he knife is remove or just depleted a predetermined amount?
9897029
Yes and yes, hp will deplete until knife is removed.
Well gentlemen this is a quite interesting story I bet you would do
9897333
Glad you like it, next chapter is going to be posted this coming weekend,
9897333
What do you bet , didn’t understand that part,
9892455
I just fixed that , thanks for letting me know.
9892247
Thanks for the pointers , I’ll keep an eye for them.
9897524
Lol, that was just me having some fun. You don't need to go out of your way to fix every tiny little grammar infraction. As it is, your story is perfectly readable. Honestly, it took me close 30 minutes to type that comment, most of the time being spent closely scrutonizing the passage for anything I could nitpick at.
9898425
I know but it’s good for me to improve, specially since English is my second language, every mistake people call out is something I can improve , so thanks for yer time hehe.
*Realizing that this will be updated weekly*
H U Z Z A H
New chapter coming up tomorrow, in under editing ,
the editors are on a trip so... saturday sunday.. :D
Two silver coins.... The great service... He was Charon, the Ferryman of Hades, wasn't he?
No 'Poison Resist' after surviving a deadly poison?
Kind of a dangerous move he's making, just blindly assuming that the Gamer's Mind will protect him from corrupting effects. Plus now he's going to have to explain why he's wearing it, how he knew about it, and why he's immune.
11491798
I actually thought that pony trader was a reference to that one