Once Twilight left the room, I stared at the light above my bed, thinking about the last vision I had with my father. One phrase he said stood out to me: “You’ve forgotten who means most to you, your alleged ‘first love’.”
It would not take a genius to know who he was referring to: my first marefriend, and the first person I truly fell in love with, Starlight Glimmer.
The more I thought about, it the more it made sense; I have not been spending as much time with Starlight as I have Twilight or Sunset. In fact, I don’t remember doing anything special for Starlight in the last few months. What if it is tearing her apart on the inside?
Right as I was beginning to really berate myself, I heard a light knock on the door. It opened, revealing the mare in question.
“Jake, are you awake?” Starlight whispered as she poked her head into the room.
I nodded my head and beckoned her to come closer. “Yes Starlight, I’m still awake. C-Can you come closer? I want to talk to you.”
“O-Of course,” Starlight said with a small smile as she drew closer.
As Starlight approached me, I could not help but admire how beautiful she was. Her curled mane bounced with every step she took, her eyes glimmered like the stars, and her coat was so fluffy I could stroke it all day if she let me.
Starlight took a seat in the chair right next to the bed and scanned me with a worried expression.
“How do you feel? Are you in any pain?” Starlight asked with a soft voice.
“I’m alright, as long as I don’t move around too much, I’ll be fine. More importantly, how are you feeling?”
Starlight looked at me with a confused glare. “You almost got killed by an apple cart, yet you’re worried if I'm the one having a bad day?” she said with a small chuckle.
“No, no, I don’t mean like that!” I said while giving a small smile at her remark. “What I meant was, over the last few months, I feel like I might not have given you the attention you deserve.”
Starlight looked at me with a wide-eyed expression, which then became gloomy as she looked away from me.
“I-I guess… I have been feeling a little… left out,” Starlight said while hanging her head down.
“I know, and I’m so sorry, Starlight,” I said with my own glum expression. “You mean the world to me, and I’ve been practically ignoring you all this time.”
“That’s putting it lightly…” Starlight said with a soft, yet serious tone.
“How do you mean?” I asked with concerned interest.
Starlight rubbed her nuzzle, and then looked right at me with a stern look. “Ever since your honeymoon, you and Twilight have been acting like such newlyweds! I rarely see you two apart, and every time you see her at the castle, you get all lovey-dovey and start calling each other pet names!” Starlight said with her voice slowly elevating.
“I… I guess I have been giving Twilight some extra attention lately,” I said, feeling embarrassed.
“And it’s not just Twilight! Anytime Sunset is over, you can’t help but rub her belly all day long or talk to it like the baby can understand speech already!” Starlight added, this time not hiding the anger in her voice.
“I-I’m just trying to-”
“But what about me?! Anytime we’re alone you’re always talking about how adorable Twilight’s been lately, or what you think the baby is going to be like when it grows up!”
“Starlight-”
“And when we share a bed together, you usually just go straight to sleep! I used to think it was because you were just tired, but now I'm starting to feel like I’ve been left on the back burner!”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“Oh, but you absolutely give priority to the mare you shoved into a wedding dress, and the other you squeezed a baby into!!!” Starlight yelled out.
“I did not plan on getting Sunset pregnant!” I said with a voice more aggressive than I meant for it to be.
“Oh, was getting married to Twilight an accident too?! Is giving your vows the human way of asking permission to use the toilet?!”
“If you had such a problem with our marriage why didn’t you say anything?!” I said with more unintentional agitation as I felt my eyes become damp.
“I didn’t have a problem with it, until you…” Starlight paused while making a painful face and pushed back tears. “…Until you let me feel alone!”
I stare at Starlight and whatever anger that was building up simmered down.
“When you married Twilight, you said that ‘nothing would change between us,’, but now we don’t kiss or cuddle or… or anything anymore!”
As Starlight sat in her chair sobbing, I looked at her while thinking how much of an idiot I have been. I tried to lean over so I could hold her, but pain flared in my chest as I tried getting up.
“Starlight, I’m really sorry I haven’t been paying more attention to you. I promise, once I get out of here, I’ll make it up to you; you won’t ever feel alone again.”
“How do I know that?” Starlight said, wiping her tears away. “How do I know you won’t completely ignore me once the baby gets here?”
“Of course I won’t! Because you’re my-”
“Your what? Your marefriend?! Twilight is your wife, Sunset is going to be the mother of your first child, and I am just the marefriend who lives with you?! What makes me so special?”
I paused for a moment, replaying her words in my head, but before I could give her my answer a nurse with pink hair and a white coat opened the door.
“I’m sorry miss, but visiting hours are over. We need to let Mr. Taylor rest.”
Starlight looked at me with tear stained eyes and spoke softly. “I guess I’ll go now, goodbye Jake.” She then leaned in like she is going to kiss my cheek but paused and gave me a sorrowful expression. She then got down from her chair and headed for the door.
“S-Starlight…” I said as the mare I love walked away.
I tried to get up, but my arms and legs were barely cooperating with me.
“Starlight…”
The pain in my chest was manifesting itself again as I tried to raise myself up, but I refused to just let Starlight go without her knowing how much she meant to me. I refuse to let things end like this.
“Mr. Taylor, please don’t try to get up! You’re going to make it worse!” the nurse said to me with a panicked voice.
“N-No!” I tried to speak despite the pain in my chest. “Starlight… don’t… go!”
Starlight turned and looked right at me while the nurse dug through the drawers. The pain was becoming unbearable, but nowhere near as unbearable as the thought of Starlight possibly leaving the herd.
As I gave a small growl of pain, Starlight looked at me with a wide-eyed expression “J-Jake, stop! If you keep going like this…” I looked her right in the eyes with tears of both sadness and pain running down my face.
“Starlight… I... lo-” before I could finish the nurse pins me back down on the bed with a syringe in her mouth.
“I said LAY DOWN!!!” she said after taking the syringe out of her mouth and inserting its needle into my arm.
As the liquid in the syringe was pushed into me, all the pain in my chest went away, and I became limper than I was before. As my vision grew darker, I looked right into Starlight’s eyes; a hoof covered her mouth, and I saw more tears falling down her cheeks. Her beautiful face was the last thing I saw before everything faded to black.
“We’re home!” Twilight said as happily as she could as she opened the doors to her castle; her echo carried itself all throughout the foyer. As the lights crystals on the walls slowly glowed brighter, everyone else (Sunset, Louis, Spike, and Princess Celestia (who decided to follow them home)) entered the castle.
“I’m gonna get some sleep. Night!” Louis said nonchalantly as he headed to his room.
“Goodnight, Louis!” Twilight said after him. Louis shot his hand up, showing acknowledgement to her voice.
Once Starlight finally came inside, everyone else looked at her anxiously. Starlight had not told anyone else about her fight with Jake yet. In fact, she was silent the entire way home.
“Starlight… is everything alright?” Spike asked while putting a claw on her foreleg for comfort. Starlight placed a hoof on Spike’s claw and gave a sad smile.
“I’m sorry, Spike,” Starlight said as she slid his claw off her. “I just really need to be alone right now. Goodnight, everypony…” Once everyone said their goodnights to her, Starlight headed towards her room with her head hung low, and her mind full of thoughts.
As everyone watched Starlight leave, Twilight placed a hoof on Spike’s shoulder and gave him a comforting smile. “Come on Spike, let’s get you to bed.” Spike returned the smile and did as he was told.
“I need to get going too; I actually forgot something back home and don’t wanna forget it. Goodnight, everyone!” Sunset said as she used magic on her wheelchair to head towards Twilight’s library, where the mirror to her world was.
“Goodnight, Sunset!” Twilight said while waving her hoof. “We’ll let you know if Jake gets better!”
Sunset turned to wave her hoof back and noticed Celestia approaching her.
“Sunset, would you mind if I saw you out? I’d love to talk with you some more,” Celestia said as she followed Sunset by her side.
“S-Sure! If that’s what you want to do,” Sunset said with a smile.
Celestia nodded and pushed Sunset with her magic. She then looked towards Twilight with a nervous glare. Twilight simply smiled back and gave an encouraging nod, knowing full well what Celestia was planning to do.
As the two mares engaged in small talk during their walk, Celestia looked down at her daughter and smiled. She started to think various things about Sunset, such the time she first met her after giving her away many years before, and making Sunset personal her apprentice, studying various magical subjects under her care. She then fantasized about how things would be if she’d kept Sunset as her daughter and raised her to grow up to become a smart, strong, and beautiful mare.
Those thoughts soon ended as the mares entered Twilight’s library and saw the portal to Sunset’s world.
Celestia looked around the library and saw that the decorations were still up, and the food was still out on the tables; Celestia was especially eyeing the cake, which looked like there were a few good slices left. After scanning the entire room a few more times, she was convinced that nopony else was in the library with them.
“Looks like this is it, thank you for walking with me, princess,” Sunset said.
“Hmm? Oh, yes. N-No trouble at all…” Celestia said grimly.
Sunset caught the tone in her voice and looked at her with a concerned glare.
“Is everything alright Princess?”
“Oh, nothing’s wrong. I just… I…”
Celestia looked into Sunset’s eyes and started to feel a wave of doubt hit her.
Celestia wished to tell Sunset the truth, about who she really was. But every time Celestia found one reason to tell her the truth, a voice in her head gave her ten reasons why she should not.
“Princess Celestia?” Sunset said to her former mentor with concern.
Celestia had lived longer than many ponies before her, she’d fought alongside her sister to defeat enemies powerful enough to be deities, and for a thousand years had single handedly ruled an entire nation. The feeling of Sunset hating her for hiding the truth felt worse than any trial Celestia had faced before.
Impatient from Celestia’s silence, Sunset got out of her chair and placed her hoof over Celestia’s.
“Princess Celestia whatever is bothering you, you can tell me,” Sunset said as she comforted the alicorn princess. “Please trust me, like I trust you.”
“S-Sunset… I am…” Celestia paused as she struggled to get any more words out.
“Yes?” Sunset said with her eyes filled with expectancy.
“…I am just wondering if it is the right time to give you this.” Celestia’s horn glowed, and a book materialized in front of Sunset. The cover of the book had a symbol, which the left half was of Celestia’s Cutie Mark, and the right half was of Sunset’s.
“It looks just like my old journal!” Sunset said with a huge smile, believing she understands Celestia’s intention.
The old journal she was referring to allowed her to be able to communicate with Princess Celestia while Sunset was banished to the human world. However, since Twilight had to use Celestia’s journal to keep the bridge between worlds open, she could not use it anymore.
“I thought that with this you would be able to talk to me whenever you wanted. I had to get us a new pair since... you know.” Celestia pointed her hoof at the part of the portal that contained her old journal. “I can’t promise I’ll always answer right away, but I do promise to always respond if you ever need my wisdom, or if you just wish to engage in small talk.”
Sunset hugged her new journal and looked at Celestia with joy in her heart. She then approached Celestia and gave her the biggest hug she could possibly give. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. I love you, Princess Celestia!”
Celestia hugged her back as she felt her eyes becoming watery. “I love you too Sunset. You’re going to be an amazing mother; I just know it!”
They held their hug for a few moments before Sunset had to break it off.
“I need to go now; I’ll be sure to write to you when I get home. Goodnight Princess Celestia!”
“Good night Sunset, sweet dreams!” Celestia said as she smiled and waved goodbye.
Once Sunset pushed her wheelchair into the portal, she looked back at Celestia with a warm smile; Sunset then walked through the portal herself, disappearing from Celestia’s sight.
Even after Sunset was gone, Celestia continued to smile and wave. Tears then started to fall down her face like two small waterfalls. Her waving slowed to a halt, and her smile slowly melted away.
“I am your mother…” Celestia said to a nonexistent Sunset Shimmer.
“I’m your mother…” Celestia got down on her knees and let her tears hit the floor.
“I’m your mommy, Sunset… y-your real m-mother...” Celestia spoke her last words with a broken voice as she allowed her sadness to completely overtake her. Even when she banished Luna to the moon, Celestia had never cried so excessively in her entire life as she did this very moment.
As her cries filled the library, the doors opened, revealing Twilight Sparkle, who gazed upon the scene with a worried expression. She then approached her former teacher and embraced her in a hug. Silence was shared between the princesses as Celestia returned the hug and continued to cry her eyes out.
Jake finally got a reality check. (Yes I know it's ironic, just pointing it out.)
This is why polygamy fails on all fronts for sentient beings: someone is bound to be neglected.
Worse yet, Starlight's mental/emotional well-being is the most fragile of the three considering the point of the timeline for this story.
She definitely deserves better than this wannabe chad.
Poor Starlight. This is going to take some work to fix.
*reads the sad chapter I wrote*
...well, Happy Mother’s Day everypony! 😅
Wow, both Starlight and Celestia went through a lot here. I hope they feel better soon.
Thanks, I recently purchased the newest version of Microsoft Word; it is good, although not perfect, at detecting grammatical errors.