• Published 28th Jul 2019
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Romantic Mischief - TheHardie-Boy

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Time for a Wedding Part 3: Insanity (by Bumblebeau)

“Jake Taylor, this is your wake up call. Please move your big smelly hide into the shower to get ready for your wedding,” Starlight Glimmer said, getting no response.

BANG BANG BANG! “Time to get up!” shouted Starlight as she was banging pots over my head.

I immediately recoiled as it sounded like explosions going off in my ears. “Alright Starlight I’m up, I’m up!”

I got up and felt the aftereffects of my wild bachelor party, the worst of them all being my hangover.

“Uggh, my head feels like someone took an axe to it,” I said while rubbing my forehead.

“C’mon you! The guests will be arriving in a few hours, and you need to look proper!”

“Guests? Guests for what?” I asked, still rubbing my head.

“For your wedding, remember?”

“Wedding...”

At that moment, my eyes widened, and I shot my head up.

“The wedding!!! Shoot, that’s today!!!!”

I tried to get up, but I suddenly felt dizzy and fell right back on my seat. I was in no condition to get married today, Twilight is going to kill me.

Starlight just simply rolled her eyes at me. “I figured this would happen, so I asked one of our guests to come by early.”

I scanned the room to see who she was referring to. I spotted a black & white shape in the corner slowly approaching me. “Ah hello Human Jake, it is so good to see you are finally awake!”

“Zecora?” I asked redundantly, as there is only one zebra in Ponyville.

“Starlight Glimmer told me that you were feeling sick, so I have come by, faster than quick.”

“Yeah, I have a killer headache, and I feel dizzy and nauseous.”

Zecora put down her saddlebags and reached into one of them. “If you wish to feel as good as new, then I suggest you drink from this brew!” she said while handing me what looked like a bottle with some liquid in it.

I opened the bottle and prepared to take a small sip. “Bottoms up!” The second it touched my tongue, I was hit with the worst tasting stuff I have ever drunk in my life. It tasted like cleaning solution for the floors, not somebody’s stomach.

I nearly spit it out before Zecora spoke again. “No, Jake Taylor! Once you take your first sip you must not stop! You must drink it, down to the last drop!”

I gave a long sigh at her words, but in the end, I decided to do as she says. I pinched my nose shut and guzzled the rest down.

The taste lingered on my tongue and caused me to immediately gag and heave. Shortly after, however, my headache was completely gone, and the room no longer felt like it was spinning.

“Wow, Zecora you weren’t kidding! I feel great! Thanks a lot!”

Zecora gives a small laugh. “It brings me such joy to see you are no longer dreading, but now I must be off, see you at the wedding!”

As Zecora left Starlight looked at me smugly. “Speaking of weddings, you need to get ready!”

“Alright, where’s my suit?” I asked as I finally got up.

“I put it in your room, be sure to get a shower too! You stink!”

“Got it!” I said as I headed straight there, while Starlight went to check on the preparations.


When I got to my room, the first thing I noticed was Sunset Shimmer sleeping on my bed. I considered waking her up, before I noticed myself in the mirror. The only thing I thought of as I checked the damage was, “Sweet Celestia, what happened last night?!”

There were lipstick stains on my face as well as a kiss mark on my cheek, and a dark spot right below my shoulder blade. I also found three phone numbers on my arm; I don’t remember who any of them belong to, but one of them has the initials WB at the end of one.

I hope this isn’t permanent ink.

It wasn’t all bad though, I managed to find $78.47 worth of cash on me; don’t ask where I found the change.

As I was checking the rest of my body, I noticed a soreness on my upper thigh. I used the mirror to see that it was... oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me: a tattoo. It was a heart with three colors; I noticed that the colors belonged to each of my marefriends.

“Oh wow! That came out real nice!” said a certain fiery-haired pony who had just woken up.

“Did you know about this, Sunset?” I said as I put my pants back up.

“Maaaaaybe,” Sunset said as she looked away from me with a sly grin. “I might have payed someone to give it to you while you were hammered last night.”

“Sunset!” I looked at her with a frown. “Did you seriously put a tattoo on me?!”

“Hey, look at it this way! At least you finally got your Cutie Mark!” she said with a grin.

“Oh that's it!” I lunged for her and tickled her relentlessly. Sunset was laughing as I assaulted her nerves with my fingers. This continued for several minutes until I was finally tired.

“So what brings you by?” I said with heavy breaths. “It couldn’t be to plan my Cute-Ceañera is it?”

Sunset suddenly looked gloom as she too was breathing heavily.

“Actually, I do need your help with something.”

“What's up?” I said with a sympathetic tone.

I let Sunset get up as she leaned on me.

“It's about Princess Celestia, I need you to help me talk to her.”

“What about?” I asked quizzically.

“I-I never told her about the baby,” she admitted while rubbing her stomach.

“Why not?”

“Because I'm scared she’ll be ashamed of me, I mean after all we’re not even married, and...”

Sunset started sobbing as her rant became nonsensical. I cupped her cheek with my hand. “Shhh shhh, it’s okay Sunset, just tell her the truth, and it will be alright.”

“How do you know that?! How do you know for sure she won’t be mad at me, that she’ll forgive me?”

“Because she already forgave you for your past. Remember the Gala? She wanted you to be there because she wanted to see you again. I highly doubt she would be upset with you after how much you have changed for the better.”

Sunset said nothing and just leaned her head on my chest. I, in turn, used one hand to hold her head, and the other to rub her belly. She places her hoof on my arm and holds it.

“You’re getting to the point where you won’t be able to hide the baby anymore. If you don’t tell her soon, she’ll figure it out on her own.”

After a small pause she lifted her head to look at me with tears in her eyes. “You’re right, I'm going to tell her today at the wedding.”

Not only will Celestia be there, but she even agreed to perform the ceremony. I remember how thrilled Twilight was when she agreed, she bounced around the room so many times even Pinkie would have told her to stop, it was so adorkable.

Sunset continued speaking just as I finished reminiscing. “I just need you to help me to actually get a chance to talk to her, and..... to make sure I don’t chicken out or anything.”

“Don’t worry, I got your back Sunset!” I said with a confident smile.

Sunset smiled then gave me a short kiss. “Thanks Jake, now go get your shower already! You smell like beer and sweat.”

I gave her a snicker and grabbed my clothes as we both made our way out.

"By the way, I'll see if I can find a spell that can get rid of some of those marks on you."

"Sweet! Can you get rid of the tattoo as well?"

"Nope! You're keeping it!"


After looking around Ponyville, we finally decided on having the wedding in Twilight’s castle. The main ceremony will be done in the foyer, while the post-wedding reception will be done in her ballroom. Fortunately, the castle is much more spacious on the inside then it looks on the outside, chalk one up for Equestrian magic.

I was in the foyer, instructing some ponies we hired on putting the finishing touches on the decorations, and Spike was doing the same thing in the ballroom. I heard one of the doors opening, revealing Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Sunset; all of them with their manes done, and with wearing dresses that not only looked beautiful on them, but also complimented their individual personalities.

“Hey girls! You’re looking lovely!”

They replied with giggles.

“Why shucks sugercube! Thank you kindly,” AJ replied with a small blush.

“Rarity did do a wonderful job with these dresses, didn’t she?” Fluttershy said in her soft voice.

“And those manedressers she hired made my mane feel so BOUNCY!!!!!” Pinkie Pie cheered while bouncing around the room. “Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy!”

“Hey, where is Rarity anyway?” I asked.

“She’s back in Twilight’s dressing room, said she had some last minute touch ups she wanted to do for her dress,” Rainbow Dash answered.

“Oh, I see.”

I haven’t seen Twilight all day. Twilight didn’t want to see me yet because “its bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding,” which struck me odd. Twilight wouldn’t be the type that believed in luck, she must be super nervous about the wedding. I didn’t blame her; I may have looked calm on the outside, but on the inside I was a mix between happy and scared in a way I didn’t know I could be.

Sunset approached me as I was lost in thought. “H-Hey Jake, how do I look?”

She snapped me from my thoughts as I studied her appearance. She was wearing a dress which had layers of pink and yellow. Each layer had a floral design, except for the second layer which was decorated with red and yellow gemstones. And thanks to how the layers on the dress was positioned from her waistline, it was almost impossible to see her stomach.

“Sunset, you look gorgeous!”

When I said that, the blush on her face became redder then her hair. “T-Thank you,” she replied back.

She soon dawned a more serious face after looking around the room.

“Has.... she arrived yet?”

I shook my head. “Not yet, but Princess Celestia should be arriving any minute now.”

“What’s goin on y’all?” AJ asked us.

Sunset looked startled at AJ’s perceptiveness.

I told them all about Sunset’s dilemma. The other girls look startled as Sunset looked at the ground in embarrassment.

“Why haven’t you said anything yet? Y’know your belly is starting to show, right?” Rainbow Dash said bluntly.

“I know! It was just hard for me to talk about this with her...” Sunset said without removing her eyes from the ground.

I stepped in to defend her. “The point is that she’s going to tell her today. And we might need your help to make that happen. She just needs to be alone with her so she can explain everything.”

“Well shoot! You can count on us Sunset!” Applejack said without hesitation.

“Y-Yes! We will do our best!” Fluttershy said while trying to sound assertive.

“Absolutely possa-tootly!” Pinkie Pie said with her usual energy.

“You got nothing to worry about with us on the job!” Rainbow Dash said while looking confident.

Sunset just looked at them with shock, then she gave a warm smile. “Wow, thank you so much, girls! I can always count on you, just like my other friends!” Sunset said while pulling them into a group hug.

Pinkie Pie simply laughed. “Silly Sunset, they are us!”

Then they all started laughing, and even I couldn’t help but giggle at the display of an unbreakable bond that goes beyond worlds.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!

The sound startled everyone. It’s still a bit early for the guests to come inside, so it must be either family or someone essential.

“Could that be Princess Celestia?” asked Applejack.

At the mere mention of her name, Sunset tensed up. Upon noticing this, Fluttershy stroked her mane. “It’s all right, you can do this!” she said in a motherly tone.

Fluttershy’s words put Sunset at ease, and she signaled to me she was ready.

I got to the front doors, and the sound of them opening echoed throughout the room.

“Princess Celestia?“

POOF!

As smoke filled the doorway, I covered my mouth while hacking up a lung. I suddenly lost balance and collapsed on the floor.

Sunset and the girls suddenly became worried and ran towards me.

Suddenly, we heard another set of coughs, and as a silhouette came into view, we identified it as our first guest.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie *COUGH COUGH* has finally arrived!”

“Trixie! I told you no more ‘Grand Entrances!’ I swear every time you do that I get second hand smoke!”

“Jake Taylor, so wonderful to see you again! I hope you aren't too crushed about me refusing to be part of the herd?” she said, completely ignoring what she just did.

"I'm the one who-"

She suddenly put her hoof to my face. “You had your chance when Trixie was last here! But instead you broke her heart into a million pieces. And once she put them back together, she realized you were just a moment of weakness, and that she doesn’t need you, or anypony else to be happy!”

Trixie then put a hoof on my shoulder. “I know its hard, but don’t worry, you’ll get over me eventually” she said with pity in her voice.

I just look at her with a frown and an eyebrow raised.

“Here you go!” Trixie shoves a box into Applejack’s face, which I can only assume is her wedding present.

“Where’s the food at? You would think at a princess’s wedding there would be better service then this.”

Before anyone could answer her, we heard another sound at the door. This time it was from someone we were glad to see.

“Hey everypony!” said Princess Cadance, Twilight’s sister-in-law. She was joined by her husband, and Twilight’s older brother, Shining Armor with their child, Flurry Heart.

“Hey guys! Glad you could make it!” I said while finally getting up.

“Do any of you smell smoke?” Shining said while smelling the room and placing their presents on a nearby table.

“You can thank the pony in the pointy hat for that one,” I said, pointing at Trixie. I was about to close the door when I noticed two more guests behind them; Twilight’s parents, Twilight Velvet and Night Light, and neither of them looked particularly happy to see me.

We stared at each other in an awkward silence before I finally said something. “Glad you could make it!” I tried to sound sincere, but afraid it might have sounded forced.

“We said we would come,” Night Light replied coldly.

Another awkward pause came before I broke the silence again. “Please, come in.” I gestured for them to come inside.

When we went in we saw quite a display. Trixie and Applejack were arguing, Rainbow Dash and Shining Armor were having an arm wrestling contest, Pinkie Pie and Cadance were laughing at each other’s jokes, and Sunset and Fluttershy were playing with Flurry Heart.

“Looks like everypony is having fun,” Velvet said.

“Indeed,” her husband agreed.

“Yeah,” I joined in.

We were silent again as we witnessed everyone else interacting with each other.

“So would you like to see Twilight? I could take you right to her,” I said while pointing to the doors that lead to where her dressing room is.

After sharing a glance, they looked at me with a melancholic glare, but before either of them could answer, there was another series of knocks on the door.

Who could it be this time? Flim & Flam? Discord? Chrysalis?

When I opened the door, I immediately saw two guards enter the castle. One of the guards, an orange Pegasus, spoke with a familiar voice.

“Announcing the arrival of her royal highnesses Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!”

Sunset flinched upon hearing Celestia’s name.

Everyone else bowed as both matriarchs approached us.

“Ladies, so glad you could make it!”

Celestia greeted me with a small giggle. “So nice to see you Jake. We’re so sorry we couldn’t be here sooner, but some delegates were taking a bit too long to come to an agreement over the name of a new wall that was built.”

“Such is our lives,” Luna replied in a stressed tone.

“Now come on everypony! We’re all friends here! No need to be so serious all the time!” Celestia said while noticing everyone else’s positions.

Trixie was the first to speak. “Princess Celestia! It is such a pleasure to see you again!“

“And it is very nice to see the ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie again as well. I hope you have been well,” Celestia greeted.

As everyone else approached Celestia and Luna to greet them, Trixie pranced in place and squealed like a school filly. "Princess Celestia called me Great and Powerful!!!!"

I had to admit, it was kinda cute.

And apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so as the guard from before gave a small chuckle.

This caught the attention of Trixie as they looked each other in the eyes. After staring at each other for a few seconds, she has a scowl on her face. “What are you looking at, creep?”

The guard looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I thought you looked so cute just now.”

Trixie was taken aback by his words. “C-Cute?? CUTE!?! The Great and Powerful Trixie IS NOT CUTE!!!! YOU... YOU... CREEPER!!!!” Trixie then turned and walked away. She took one more look at him and scoffed.

As I looked back at the crowd of ponies, I saw that Cadance noticed the couple’s display too and nodded at me with a grin.

I then noticed Sunset was the only one who didn’t make herself known to the princesses.

I went to Sunset, kneel down, placed a hand on her back, and offered a comforting smile. Sunset smiled back to me and placed a hoof on my knee.

“Sunset?!”

We both looked at the source of the voice and realized that Celestia had noticed us.

“H-Hello Princess Celestia,” Sunset said with a sheepish smile.

The Princess had a huge smile on her face as she made her way to her old apprentice. And in a move that surprised her, Celestia scooped Sunset with her wing, holding her close to her chest. It was a beautiful sight, like a mother welcoming her daughter home after so long.

“I’m so glad to see you, it’s been so long.”

"I missed you too Princess Celestia!" Sunset returned the hug, and held it for what felt like minutes before Celestia broke it.

“How have you been? Will you be staying long?” Celestia said with a warm smile.

“I’ve been well, and yes I was hoping to stay in Equestria for a while, if that’s okay.”

Celestia’s smile was beaming, and her wings were raised. “Of course! Is there any particular reason for your extended stay?”

Sunset looked my way, and I gave her a supportive smile and nodded at Celestia’s direction.

Sunset took a deep breath and turned towards her former teacher.

“I was actually hoping we could have a talk in private, I really do need to tell you something important.”

Celestia’s joy slowly became worry. “O-Of course, I need to prepare for the wedding, but I’d be more than happy to see you afterwards, would that be alright?”

Sunset seemed a bit disappointed, but then turned her frown upside down. “Sure thing.”

Celestia then turned around, brought out some papers, and headed towards the front of the foyer.

Sunset’s frown returned; her gloom was interrupted by a certain magic loving mare.

“Did she say your name is Sunset? As in Sunset Shimmer?”

“Huh? Oh yes I am,” Sunset said to Trixie after being lost in thought.

Trixie has her own beaming smile. “So you are Jake Taylor’s newest marefriend! The Great, and Powerful Trixie has heard much about you from Starlight Glimmer.”

“Yeah, I heard a lot about you too,” Sunset replied.

Trixie then studied Sunset.

“Trixie supposes she can see why Jake Taylor would admire you.”

“Uh, thank you?” Sunset said with uncertainty.

Trixie then pointed a hoof at her. “But don’t think for a second that the Great and Powerful Trixie will give you any special treatment because you are carrying his child! Trixie does not play favorites!”

Almost immediately after Trixie finished speaking, there was a collection of gasps. Sunset’s eyes went wide, and she stood there, paralyzed like a deer in headlights.

“TRIXIE!” I yelled at Trixie so loud, it startled her.

“What?! What did I say?” Trixie asked with a confused and panicked look.

“Sunset wanted to tell everyone herself!” I replied with a look that showed I was completely ticked at her.

“Well how was I supposed to know?! It’s been four months, right? I figured she would have said something by now!”

“Four Months?” Sunset turned her head towards Celestia’s voice, and saw she had the same wide eyed expression as her.

“You’ve been pregnant for four months, and you didn’t say anything?”

Sunset’s legs started shaking so much I was worried she’ll collapse.

“I... I didn’t... I’m...” Sunset continued speaking in incoherent sentences.

“T-This is such great news! Congratulations, Sunset!” Cadance said, hoping to relieve the tension of the atmosphere. Unfortunately, not only did it not work, it only made things worse.

“And how is this a great?!” Night Light shouted. “He got another mare pregnant while saying he wants to marry our daughter!”

“Does Twilight know about this?!” Velvet said with equal agitation.

“Mom! Dad! Calm down! That’s not what’s important here!” Shining Armor says.

“Look what you did, Trixie! This is all your fault!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

Trixie shouted back, “It’s not my fault Sunset Shimmer decided to take her sweet time telling everypony about it!”

Suddenly, Flurry started crying. “Uhhh, Cadance! I think Flurry needs her diaper changed!” Fluttershy said while rocking the baby.

Cadance went to her bags and looked for her diapers.

"Does anypony have any flour?" Pinkie asked while thinking of ways to calm down Flurry.

“Sunset, is this what you wanted to talk about earlier? Sunset, answer me!”

“Uh sister, perhaps this isn’t the best time.”

“It was a mistake for us to agree to this!” shouted Night Light.

“Maybe we should go," agreed Velvet,

“Mom! Dad! You promised Twilight you’d stay!” argued Shining Armor.

“Take some responsibility ya darn fool!” demanded Applejack.

“This wouldn’t have happened if Sunset Shimmer hadn’t been such a coward!!!” Trixie replied.

“Hey! Not cool, Trixie!!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“WAAAAAAH WAAAAAAAH!!!” cried Flurry Heart.

“Shh shh, there there,” cooed Fluttershy.

“Mommy’s coming, Mommy’s coming!”

“Where’s Pinkie Pie? HERE I AM!!! Where’s Pinkie Pie? HERE I AM!!!!!!”

“EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, my voice echoing throughout the room, filling it with silence.

The silence was finally broken by the sound of a door opening, revealing Spike wearing a mini tuxedo and a red bowtie.

“Hey Jake! The decorations in the ballroom are all... finished,” Spike paused when he noticed the tense atmosphere.

Suddenly, Sunset turned towards Spike and bolted for the now open door.

“Sunset!!!!” I immediately ran after her.

“Wait! Jake, what's going on?!” a confused Spike shouted.


Once Jake left the room the chaos started back up.

“I knew he was no good! What’s the point of him marrying Twilight if he’s just going to have foals with other mares?!” Night Light said angrily.

“Its not like that!” Cadance said, taking Jake’s defense. “The bond each of them share is special.”

“Until he finds another mare to join his little herd!” Velvet said with an elevated voice.

Then both Night Light and Twilight Velvet headed towards the hallway where their daughter’s dressing room is at.

“Where are you two going?” Shining Armor asked his parents.

“We’re going to convince our little girl to stop this nonsense!”

“Jake is clearly just some alien who only cares about his lower instincts! And we are not going to let him hurt our baby anymore!”

Suddenly, a cyan flash appeared and Trixie stood before them both with a grave look on her face.

“HOW DARE YOU??!!!” Trixie said while her horn was covered in her purple glow. “Jake Taylor is a kind, honest, and loyal human! If you choose to say such things without trying to know him then you clearly don’t know your horns from your rumps!”

“How could he possibly be loyal?! He’s seeing other mares besides our daughter, how do we know he won’t just pick up somepony else from the streets and abandon Twilight altogether?” Night Light said in his tirade.

“Because I also tried to be part of his herd! But he turned me down because he didn’t feel any sort of attraction for me,” Trixie said while making a face with a small wince of pain.

“W-What does that prove?” Velvet responded.

“It proves that Jake Taylor isn’t going to accept just anypony into his herd, only ponies who he feels a special bond and attraction to. And I guarantee you that if Jake ever did find another pony he feels a special connection with, he would never abandon Twilight! Because he doesn’t just give a piece of his heart to each of his marefriends, he gives his entire heart to all of them equally! If you so much as tried to understand him, you would see that!!!”

Both parents tried to think of something else to say but nothing came out of either of them. A minute passed before Trixie spoke again.

“Tell me, why did you come to Twilight’s wedding if you weren’t going to support her on the happiest day of her life?”

Twilight Velvet was the first to answer. “We... we just wanted to make sure our little baby was safe.”

“Twilight Sparkle is not your ‘little baby’ anymore! She is a grown mare who within the last few years has saved Equestria numerous times, became an Alicorn Princess, and a scholar of the arcane arts whom very few can rival! She doesn’t need her parents anymore to change her diaper every time she wets herself!!!”

Twilight’s parents were once again speechless.

“After everything Twilight Sparkle has been through, she deserves nothing less than her friends and family giving her their full support. If you can’t look past your self-serving desires to feel needed, and support your one and only daughter getting married to someone who loves her more than himself, then just GET THE BUCK OUT RIGHT NOW!!!" Trixie pointed her hoof towards the main entrance like she owned the castle.

Everyone gasped at Trixie’s outburst, and Fluttershy plugged Flurry’s ears with her hoof.

Trixie then pushed her cape back, smacking Twilight's parents in the faces, and marched away towards the front of the makeshift wedding chapel.

Every pony in the room watched her walk away with open mouths, unsure of what to make of the verbal massacre they witnessed.

Twilight's parents looked at each other and re-examined every thing that Trixie told them.

They then looked at everyone else in the room with a look of regret.

"Can somepony help us find Twilight?" Night Light asked.

"We suddenly have something we really need to talk to her about," Twilight Velvet added.

"S-Sure, I can take you there," Spike answered nervously.

"Thank you Spike," Velvet said.

Before going through the doors, the parents looked back at everyone one more time.

"We are so sorry everypony," Night Light said before disappearing behind the doors.

Rainbow Dash was the first to speak after they left. "That... was... so AWESOME!!!!! You really let 'em have it, Trixie!"

"Now that's what I call givin’ them the honest truth!" AJ replied with a throaty chuckle.

Trixie had a small blush as she continued her path. “It was the least I could do for causing all this commotion.”

Cadance noticed the Pegasus guard looking at Trixie with his cheeks as red as tomatoes, and a hoof on his heart. She gave him a small grin.

Author's Note:

Shout-out to my good friend Pink, who helped proofread this chapter. No offense, Bumble, but you may want to brush up on your English grammar