How should I know?
Everyone was sitting around eating lunch, not saying much, just casually enjoying each others company. Until Smolder blurted out a rather interesting question.
"Have any of you here ever thought of what you'd taste like?" She asked.
"Smolder, you have said some weird things, but that is probably the weirdest so far," Gallus dryly stated.
"It's a legitimate question though, what if we wanted to eat Sandbar, what would he taste like?" The dragon continued, "What would ponies in general taste like?" Gallus just glared at her with one of the most confused looks he'd ever made.
"Well it's obvious I'd taste like a fish when I transform into a seapony!" Silverstream chimed in.
"Seriously! You're answering this?" Gallus cried out.
"Of course! Its fun! Plus what else are we gonna talk about right now? Think about it this way, every one of us currently here are carnivores or omnivores. So it's not like we're offending them or anything!" The hypogriff said in a laid back tone.
Smolder couldn't help but laugh at Gallus' absolute bewilderment, and to add to it Ocellus, the usually quite and reserved type took Smolder's side.
"Gallus, it isn't that bad, even us Changlings eat smaller insects for food sometimes. Come on Griffons are known for eating all kinds of meat, yet you haven't ever thought of this question once?" Ocellus mocked. Gallus hung his head in defeat, finally answering the already absurd question.
"I admit it, I taste like chicken," The blue griffon finally admitted, "Some dragon tried to eat me, got a lick on me and said I tasted like chicken." Everyone burst into hysterical laughter.
"Wait, wait, so let me get this straight, a dragon tried to eat you and said you tasted like chicken?" Smolder asked through her constant laughs, Gallus nodded. Suddenly Smolders laughter turned into a devious grin.
"Hey Silver, you'll never guess what I just started craving," the orange dragon chuckled. Silverstream immediately picked up on what Smolder was implying.
"Ocellus would you like some chicken?" Silverstream asked
"If we want some we better catch it, it's already out in the hall," She said.
"Don't worry about it, that makes the hunt more fun," Smolder said with a toothy grin. With that, Gallus was now on a mad dash flying through the halls, taking every turn possible to try and lose his predators. Clearly all of them split up, so he just had to outmaneuver all three until they give up, or until he could get into his dorm. How hard could that be? As it turns out harder than it should be. Mainly because all three could fly, one could swim, one breaths fire, and the third has the ability to shape-shift while also being able to sense certain emotions. This wasn't gonna be as easy as Gallus thought it would be. Before he knew it he was already cornered by Ocellus, trying her best to be intimidating, but came off as frustrated cause she was to cute.
"Ocellus listen, you're trying I'll give you that, but you just aren't the intimidating type. I don't think anything you could do will change my mi-" He was cut off by Ocellus transforming into a multitude of terrifying creatures, finally stopping on what looked to be a fusion between Chrysalis and Ocellus.
"Gallus my dear friend, I think you'll find I can be quite terrifying!" the changeling hissed, her long tongue going to lick his face, "You should make quite the delicious meal." Gallus screamed and flew above Ocellus' head, straight down the hall, and through the doors to the outside. The snow stopped but it was still cold, not cold enough to freeze he water though. Gallus stopped to catch his breath on a bench between to entrances to the school. If Ocellus and Smolder came outside to get him, he could go either direction. One thing he didn't take into account is that he was sitting right in front of a large fountain. He began flying towards one of the entrances, hovering slightly above the fountain. It wasn't long before he realized his mistake. Before he could get back on the ground he felt his tail get bitten, and now he was being dragged towards the surface of the water.
"I wonder if you'll taste like fish if I ate you underwater?" Silverstream pondered, her voice muffled by Gallus' tail in her mouth. Gallus yanked his tail from out the seapony's mouth and flew for the tip of one of the schools towers. He landed on the roof above the main balcony, rubbing his tail. He was breathing so heavily he could see his breath in the cold air. Silverstream mimicked his breathing in an overly dramatic way. Gallus stared at Silverstream wide eyed.
"Your tail doesn't taste like chicken, did you know that?" She asked, with the most sincere curiosity in her voice. Gallus was speechless, and just got up flying away before Silverstream could say literally anything else. He sat perched on another rooftop, overlooking the entire school. That's when a voice whispered in his ear, making his heart skip a beat.
"Did you really think you could avoid the true apex predator here? I'm a dragon, we're relentless when it comes to food. You were a lost cause from the start," Smolder whispered. Gallus couldn't even move anymore. His only instinct was to panic and get out of there as fast as he could, but he knew Smolder was right. At this point he couldn't tell if his friends were playing, or if they were gonna start putting up missing posters tomorrow morning. Smolder grabbed Gallus by the tail, dragging him down and through a window. He was dropped on the floor of a dim room, the moonlight was the only thing illuminating the room. Gallus squinted through the darkness, making out the silhouettes of his three captors. He laid there defeated, now realizing he was at the mercy of the three females. The next morning Gallus came to breakfast tired with bite marks, scratches, scrapes, and bruises all over his body. After breakfast he went back to his dorm, laid in bed all day, and refused to answer any questions about what happened.
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LOL It's a good thing Gallus has some good female friends!
Is it weird that I'm thinking of more ideas related to this? I feel like it is, but I still wanna do it.
The writing/grammar came off as a little sloppy at times, but overall, not bad! Thumbs Up!
9744824
Thanks!
I will imagine all the wrong things happened and no one can stop me.
Fun little story, thanks for sharing!
9744849
np, we're probably thinking similar but different things now that you mention it
Ah, poor Gallus Gallus Domesticus.
The common domesticated chicken.
OH LOOK A THUMBS DOWN LOL BUTTHURT
Girlfriends with “benefits”.
This was hilarious, poor
luckyGallus XDAnyone down to do a NSFW version of This? I'll help!
9745512
Somehow I knew someone was gonna ask, i have 2 questions and an answer
1.) how
2.) why
3.) yes but leave me out of it
9745512
...why tho
9745537
1.Some one once said... erotica is using the feather, fetishism is using the whole chicken.... get it!!!!!
2. I think this story hit a jackpot without ever giving it away to others. Seriously, creating a safe story... but has implications that any mind that anyone who reads clop, will only think dirty thoughts. The worst part of it is, I'm not the only one whose thinking it. But there are two NSFW stories that can come from this. Clop or light gore(since he lives at the end).
3............. you sure?
9745538
Because secretly many want it but dare not admit it. This would be also a fun thing to work on with others.
9745512
Yeah, go ahead, heck you could even change the ending if you wanted!
what the
9746034
YAY!!!
i.postimg.cc/NfmG1BT0/timon-and-pumbaa-lion-king-1441731729.gif
This was an interesting concept, but I feel like you need to work on where you are putting your paragraph breaks. There are Parts where it jumps between scenes in the middle of a paragraph. That really drives home just how rushed the ending ends up being. It also feels like your concept had a lot of potential that wasn't really met.
9745957
If you do make one, I’d rather have it be gore
1. There are surprisingly not a lot of gore fanfics with Smolder
2. It just fits the story more
9749951
I was going to do either two kinds.
1. Sexual theme with light gore(scratches, bites, and so on).
2. Heavy gore but a dark comedy where he lives but is missing patches of skin, digits and such with the underline that he replaced with changelings and thr trio plan to get yona and sandbar.
Not a huge gore fan but I can imply a lot
9750250
I’d honestly go with option 2 but 1 still works
As a gallstream shipper I’m not sure i wanna upvote this or what. It was weird but funny.
Do you however give me ideas for the two birbs....
9750250
So then, will you write it?
I doubt I will, but since it's not pony focused, it could be a little fun quick project. I actually have a base set in mind with a page done.
I think this is one time an NSFW version would just ruin the story. Sometimes, less is more.
I really like this but I can't leave a like because it is currently at 69. Nice.
honestly, I feel like gallus would have had a far worse reaction to this, almost being eaten would have been an extreamly tramatizing event. and his friends comeing after him like that, as someone who has PTSD, I feel like he was far too calm about it.
It's been at least a week and it is still at 69 likes. Nice.
I read a fic where human pinkie did the same thing to her friends hair nomming it though you realize you legit just put a starter to a clopfic near the end there and just compounded it by having him show up with messy feathers and bite marks
9746228
Hope you make it lol I honestly wanna see what a clop version of this would be just yaknow age them up for it scratch that go for the light gore and the more heavy gore versions in two separate chapters and just ask people what one they like more
10119842
I have it part way done, just need.... a little helps with kinks, which I'm not sure how to do?
10119923
Well easy one would be not just gallus having bite marks as well as light gore to heavy gore would have implications of death which would be to bummer but having small chunks missing out of them in places that won't be fatal plus like a whole Dom sub power play with the four of them enjoying both being in charge and having control taken in the blink of a eye oh and probably at least some point gallus getting blown lol if you go the nsfw route other then a sense of them all taking a bite out of each other in a predatory fight that releases a sense of pent up need they all have
10119923
If you want just pm me about ideas in it
LOL it was amazing great story please make a sequel to this story it should be a series
So...did they just scrathed him and hit him or did they tasted Gallus ? >:D (And you know what i mean :DD)
Holy heck
This made me way happier than it should have
10119923
Lol I’ve still he got round to making the nsfw version to this lol
10556767
Never got a reply nd I have still part of the story done.
10557098
Oh lol i forgot to reply in still uo for it
He's lucky that Yona wasn't in on that hunt, or he'd be in the hospital healing up from all the broken bones.
Couple of critiques:
1. The last couple sentences should be in their own paragraph since they're technically not part of the same scene where Gallus is cornered. They're about the aftermath. You could also put in one of those horizontal lines or a trio of asterisks to break it up further, but I don't think it's necessary. As it is, it just doesn't feel right to me. Also wouldn't mind if the ending was a bit more fleshed out.
2. If you're going to tell us when this is set, it should be done in the beginning of the story, when you're setting the scene, not in an author's note at the end. A brief mention of them sitting down together after the whole debacle on Hearth's Warming would've helped, along with a mention of why Sandbar and Yona were missing. Heck, you also didn't say what happened to the faculty members who were there either, or what they were doing. You could've included them too, and maybe even used them in a scene to help flesh out the ending by having one of them ask Gallus what happened. He can still refuse to talk, but it's better if you show someone asking him outright.
All in all, it's not a bad story. It just feels a bit too short for me, and lacking a good, punchy ending. It just needs a little work to truly shine.