3: Onwards to TOURISM!
My nose has been practically glued to the train window since we cleared the western forest surrounding mount Canterlot. I feel more and more uneasy as the panorama of the twin cities grows closer. Last time saw Canterlot like this, we were fleeing from paladins and the wrath of the princesses, albeit from a different angle. Returning here, even under vastly different circumstances, I can’t help feeling this is a trap.
Gem is sitting across the window table from me, watching me with a smile on her muzzle while I can feel her looking out of my eyes. Eleven is still asleep all over the overhead compartment, not even single body keeping watch. One is leaning on me, drooling on my shoulder while Three is curled up in her lap.Two is stretched on her belly on the bench next to Gem, and Cryo is snoring loudly on the floor, legs stretched into all directions like one of those wolf pelt rugs the minotaurs use.
[We will be arriving to Lower Canterlot in five minutes.]
“Everyone, wake up!” I poke those few still asleep via their mental links as the train announcement stops, “We’re almost there.”
Rustling from above, and a short rain of changelings announces Eleven ready to start the new day. One blinks, looks down at my chitin sticky from her saliva, and sticks her tongue out to lick it off. Two pushes herself up, her jaw drops, and she jumps on Cryo’s back while propping herself with her forelegs on the window table.
“I thought Brauheim was something, but this...” she’s completely at loss for words as she stares at the city ahead, “It’s… your memories didn’t do it justice, seriously. Which part is Canterlot, anyway?”
“In my defense, the last time I saw the twin city like this, it was night and we had different things on our mind,” I pat her head. Her tongue sticks out before she realizes it and withdraws it. It’s a happy changeling reflex, “Well, both cities are Canterlot, only the lower part is for the more common folk while the upper city is where the royalty and nobility live.”
“Common ponies live in the upper city too,” Gem adds, “Generally those who work in high-end establishments or serve the nobility.”
Two suddenly bumps her head against the ceiling as Cryo simply pushes herself upwards, blinks, and stares at the city getting closer with each second. I can sense only the faintest twinges of memories from her, fragments, not even full images. The smell of fire here, a hint of clashing steel and voices there, but nothing that would paint anything even remotely resembling a picture. She shakes her head, challenging Two’s balance, and remains silent. I get the feeling that I know more of the siege of Canterlot from the rulers’ memories than she can recall.
“Are you feeling okay, Cryo?” I ask only her.
“Aaah, voices in my head! Who’s that?!” is her panicky answer before she blinks, “Oh, you, boss beard. I’m not the brightest in the morning… nor at any point these days, really,” she shakes her head, “No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just getting the feeling that this place should be intensely familiar, that’s all. So… this is the place where it all went wrong… or right, depending on how you think about it.”
“I only know what little I remember from the rulers’ memories, and from what you told Two before your old self faded. I was hoping you’d recall something.”
“Well, I know I saw a sight like this at some point in my life, that’s all. Maybe something will float to the surface later. Or maybe it won’t. It doesn’t matter, really. I think you understand.”
“I do,” I look around the coupe at the waking changelings in various state of yawning. Eleven is already standing on the window table, face pressed against the window and mouth open wide.
We both have everything we need right here, no matter what happens on the summit. Although it would still be nice to have the official “You won’t be hunted by paladins” sticker.
“This place makes me want to punch someone...” comments One without any ire in her voice, “Everyone, and I’m looking at you, Eleven,” she pouts at the final Eleven trying to slide open the window from the overhead compartment, “Stop messing around and let’s get ready to go.”
“We still have some half an hour,” Gem corrects her, “Our tickets are for upper Canterlot, not the lower city.”
“If it’s not a problem, I’d like to take a walk through the city,” I say, “We didn’t get much chance for sightseeing last time we were here. You said you planned this so that we’d arrive a day earlier.”
“That’s not… the best idea,” Gem thinks for a second, “As a diplomatic guest, there should be at least one Royal Guard with you just in case. It would be better if we reported to the castle, received the official retinue, and then took a tour of the city.”
“I… kind of want to visit some places we used to live in, and get reacquainted with the city. I’d prefer not dragging some pony official with me through the sewers and stuff.”
“Boss, if anything happens to anyone attending the summit-”
“What could happen that we couldn’t deal with and some random guard could?” One tilts her head, “I can protect daddy here from anything short of divine intervention.”
“I give you that,” Gem is still pouting, “but can you defend dad and anyone else who could be caught in the crossfire? Can you avoid any collateral damage? Because if any civilian gets hurt and dad is nearby, you can be sure that will be diplomatically on his head. A simple Royal Guard or some EIS undercover agent could be a witness to any accident and testify that you didn’t cause it.”
“Does anyone even know who is coming to the summit?” I interrupt One already opening her mouth to answer, “I mean, to everyone we’ll just be a bunch of changelings wandering around the city, which isn’t supposed to be a problem these days, is it?”
Gem ponders that for a moment.
“I suppose that’s true...” she sighs, “Look, dad. I’m just worried about you. I want this to go smoothly. I mean, if things go well, we might go around Equestria to see the sights, we might even visit Las Pegasus together again.”
One leans over and nuzzles Gem’s nose.
“I’ll be as diplomatic as I can, Gem,” she says, “No punching unless I get punched first, and even then I’ll think twice.”
“If you really want to have a look around, you know I can’t stop you, so I’ll ride ahead and inform the officials about your arrival,” she claps her hooves together, and levitates a pouch from her big backpack, “I almost forgot, here are some bits for expenses in case you want to partake in the festivities. The city should be full of visitors from all over the world, and both local and foreign merchants will have shops and stands open.”
The train slows down and stops.
“You can just leave the same way you boarded,” Gem adds a quick pointer, “No one is checking the tickets outside.”
I give Gem a quick hug as One leads everyone out, trying to maintain order, which is difficult in the small space of the hallway despite Cryo’s best efforts at not pushing anyone.
[We’ve arrived at the lower Canterlot station.]
“Have fun, dad,” Gem lets go, “And one final thing. You must think of a name. I mean boss, dad, and anything we or the dwarves use won’t suffice for official business. I’ll present you as king of the north, but you’ll have to meet other officials, and etiquette dictates that you be addressed by your full name and title.”
Oh holes…
“I’ll figure something out, Gem,” with a smile, I leave her alone in the coupe, and walk outside through the now mostly emptied train.
The train station is very similar to the one in the Crystal Empire, actually, without all the sparkle and shine, of course. And bigger… a lot bigger. I can see five more platforms, and the distant milling and sounds of heavy machinery moving tell me there must be more. The whole design is just one huge roof made of metal and glass held by dozens of pillars on each platform with empty space above the train tracks. Stands with food and souvenirs are scattered all over the place, although with enough space around not to disrupt the flow of passengers coming in or out too much.
Thankfully, while this place is completely packed, the fact that I, One, and Cryo are significantly taller than all ponies around is helping orientation a lot. Three is on my back, Two on Cryo’s, and Eleven is already distributed on every little bit of empty space on us.
“Guys, let’s go outside and see what’s around before we rush off,” I order, pushing through the crowd. Our sizes, especially Cryo’s, are enough to make our passage bearable, and we’re soon outside in the fresh air…
...and horrible heat.
“I’m meltiiiiiiing!” Cryo yells while covering her eyes. With a ‘hmph!’, ice crystals form on her body, “Much better.”
Two hugs her neck, and lets out a relieved sigh as the melting ice trickles down her carapace. Elevens jump off, and start licking her everywhere they can reach.
“I’m gonna have to figure out a transformation for this,” One furrows her brows, “I haven’t been in a scorching heat like this for years. Not counting magma streams under Brauheim.”
“Let’s find some shade and figure out what we want to do,” I switch into hive mind speech, “Stay connected. I got some gold from Gem so that we can mess around a bit. Feel free to explore in the meantime.”
“Neat!”
“IS THAT A BEARDING DRAGON?”
“Let’s see if Eleven can fly if we tie enough balloons to him!”
“Yay, we can!”
Aaaand everyone but One is gone. Three is floating over the crowd with Eleven using him as eyes, and Two is riding off on Cryo’s back.
“I don’t mind some peace and quiet,” after strolling through the streets for a while, watching the milling, One leads me off into a shady alley, “I must admit that what Gem said is making me nervous, but I wouldn’t deprive anyone of the spectacle everywhere in the city. It’s quite lively compared to the last time.”
“Worried you can’t protect me on your own?” I boop her, she snickers.
“Oh yeah, definitely, dummy,” she smacks my forehead, but her soft smile fades, “But not without collateral damage, no. This… this is important. We have a chance of smoothing things up with the princesses, to finally find personal peace. I can protect you, but by protecting you in the wrong way, I might doom everything you stand for. Now that I think about it, it might have been better if Five was here and I was back underground. She doesn’t blow up as easily as I do.”
“You’ll do well.”
“But what if-”
“You’ll do well.”
“I might-”
“You’ll do well.”
”I don’t know if I should be angry at you not taking this seriously, or happy that you trust me so much,“ she frowns.
“Well, it’s you, so you should focus on the part that doesn’t make you mad,” I smirk.
“I’m about to opt for the choke you option,” she shakes her head.
“Honey, I believe in you,” I run my hoof through her messy mane, “And leave the choking for later when we have our own room.”
She playfully punches my shoulder.
“So what are your orders, my king and nighttime jackhammer? Do we partake in the festivities? I’ve always wanted to hoof wrestle a dragon, and I’ve noticed few of those at the station as well.”
“There’s one place I want to check out more than anything,” I say and strengthen my mind links. I’m not sure how far I can reach the others, but communication feels a lot easier in the open air. We’ll just head back if we lose contact, “And it’s not like we’re missing out on anything, since everyone else is running around like crazy.”
A feeling of panic and pure horror from one hive link rushes over me out of nowhere, and I bolt, One in tow.
***
“MY EYES HURT!” Cryo lets out a frustrated roar which makes ponies around jump, but when nothing else happens, they go on with their business, which is, well, business really.
She and Two are walking down a long promenade full of shops on the sides and stands lined up in its center. Unfortunately, there are no trees or pillars other than public lamp-posts to shield her from the merciless sun, so while her ice magic is keeping her cool, she’s squinting and mostly focusing on not accidentally stomping on anyone. Two can relate, even though she did visit Crystal Empire more often and is used to daylight. There’s just too much of everything around - bright colors, bright ponies unlike the dwarves, loud shouting everywhere which is much worse than the markets in Brauheim. Her head is spinning already.
Suddenly, Two realizes that Cryo has stopped, and is narrowing her eyes at a unicorn stallion in front of her, levitating articles of clothing.
“Help, little beard, I’m being business’d!”
“You two look hot, lovely changeling ladies!” he’s yelling enthusiastically, “That black chitin must draw sunlight something fierce. I’ve got just the right stuff for you.”
This is the first time Two is seeing clothes not made of metal or leather, and is having trouble deciding whether the apparent thinness of the T-shirt the unicorn is waving in front of Cryo and her is by design for weather like this, or whether it’s just incredibly shoddy craftsmanship.
“How does additional clothing help us cool down?” asks Two.
“WHAT?” yells the unicorn over the crowd, “Speak up, young lady!”
“HOW DO WE GET COLDER BY WEARING MORE STUFF?” Cryo likely deafens the salespony and everyone in the vicinity.
As the unicorn’s eyes uncross and he rubs his head, he waves over to his shop. Two jumps down and enters while Cryo remains outside, only her lowered head peeking through the door frame. Even with the door open, it’s much quieter here.
“White reflects sunlight the best,” the unicorn smiles at Two looking around the shop filled with piles of folded clothes, some displayed on stands with various pictures, and strange black eyewear, “I don’t have anything magical or enchanted, but those things never last long. If you want summer clothes, you’ve come to the right shop.”
“Thank you for the offer, but we don’t have any money,” Two shoots him down politely. Diplomacy first, “My dad has everything we got for the trip with him.”
“That’s a shame-” the unicorn suddenly stops, smile spreading on his muzzle, “Although… would you be interested in a deal? Or namely your tall friend.”
“What would it be?” asks Two, instantly suspicious.
“A promotion!” the unicorn stomps his hooves, “I give you some clothing for free, and you’ll walk around wearing it and occasionally call out where you got it. That’s all.”
“No fine print?” Two narrows her eyes.
“Nope! Of course, the promotional stuff isn’t of the best quality, but if you want the finest pieces, you know where to buy those. Wait, no, one more thing - he quickly scribbles something on a big sheet of paper with a string attached.”
“Summer wear sale - forty-five percent off at Blue Skies’ emporium. Hundred and twenty-seven Cobalt st,” reads Two, “That’s… an address, right?”
“Mhm,” the unicorn- Blue Skies nods, “Just hang this around your friend’s neck so that everypony can see it.”
“Aaand then we can have your stuff for free. No one will be chasing after us?” asks Two, still suspicious. Granted, getting things for free was rather common in Brauheim, simply because everyone knew that changelings never wanted much and were openly part of the ruling class, but here she can’t help but feel that she’s missing something, which isn’t a good thing for an infiltrator. However, one look at the water trickling down Cryo’s neck as the ancient queen tries to lick her own wet forelegs is persuasive enough, “You know what? Deal! If you have anything that would help Cryo feel a little more at home here, I’m game. We’re from the north, and this weather isn’t pleasant by far.”
“Excellent!” the unicorn beams, and starts running around. First, he tosses a white T-shirt to Two, who puts it on. It’s somewhat loose, but feels pretty nice. Maybe she misjudged the unicorn when she thought he was just some charlatan. The T-shirt has a picture of the sun on it, and two half-moons with writing “Sun’s out, buns out!” underneath. Two furrows her brows when she finally realizes what it’s supposed to mean. Next, she gets some elastic band with a firm white square on one side.
“What’s that?” she asks.
“Eyeshade. Put it around your forehead, with the rim above our eyes.”
Two does so, and immediately blinks. That is neat!
“Hmmm...” the unicorn hums, “I don’t think I have anything in your friend’s size, unless… well… you don’t mind looking a little risque?”
“Que?” Cryo tilts her head.
“That means lewd,” Two explains, unsure what lewd Cryo would look like.
“I looted stuff before!”
“I’ve got this XXXXXL sundress,” the unicorn levitates something which could comfortably cover a filled cart, “It’s billowy and fairly see-through, but don’t think it’s any worse than the T-shirt I gave you.”
“Never crossed my mind...” comments Two. Her intended sarcasm isn’t fair, though. The clothes are reasonably well done, and if they really help in this blistering weather, it will be worth it to look somewhat silly.
An attempt to put the dress on Cryo proves that there indeed is a way to make the ancient queen look indecent without trying. It’s spandex-tight on her, reaching just under her forelegs like a sports bra, and since Cryo’s chitin is constantly wet, in addition to her long, wet mane clinging to her neck it creates a show-off effect Two has never associated with her aunt.
“Oh my...” the gawking unicorn looks taken aback as he’s standing outside his shop after putting the sundress on Cryo is finished, “Sorry for staring, miss.”
“I’m not sure it’s working,” Cryo pokes her chest.
“It’s not exactly covering enough for you, miss,” the unicorn clears his throat, and darts back inside. A moment later her returns with a long, white skirt, “This might help.”
Of course, the skirt is long by the definition of a pony. On Cryo, it looks…
As the warrior queen flicks her tail, the unicorn blushes and rushes back into his shop. Likely to cool down. A mare nearby puts a hoof over one staring colt’s eyes. To be blunt, it looks like a tight mini-skirt on Cryo, squeezing about three quarters of her massive muscular booty so that the rest below the skirt bulges outwards when she’s relaxed. Combined with the instant wet effect, it’s no wonder that stallions passing by are turning their heads and staring.
Cryo shifts her legs, and the skirt tears on the side, which doesn’t help anything.
“I broke it...” she comments, looking back, “Do we call the boss to pay?”
“O-Oh d-d-don’t w-worry about t-t-that,” Blue Skies is levitating a wide-brimmed white had, standing slack-jawed, “...this is going to boost sales thousandfold...” he mutters to himself. Of course, Two can hear him, and the corner of her mouth curls up when she notices a faint gathering of lust everywhere around, “And this,” as Blue Skies finally gathers himself, he levitates the white hat on Cryo’s head.
“I’m still blind...” mumbles Cryo.
“We can fix that!” Blue Skies is longer inside this time, and pulls out a pair of the biggest sunglasses with string that definitely wasn’t originally part of them attached in the back. He levitates it to Cryo who puts them on.
“HA!” she beams, teeth as long as Blue Skies’ whole skull is high visible for all the world to see. She grabs the unicorn and pulls him into a very careful hug which means he only groans for a while and his eye bulge before putting him back down, “I can see again! In your face, Celestia!” she shakes her hoof to the sky, much to the laughter of few onlookers gathering around to see what the show is.
“Can I get a pair too?” asks Two. In response, she gets the sheet of paper with the address around her neck, and then Blue Skies dives inside his shop, accompanied by five customers, “Nevermind...”
“I like the respect they treat us with,” Cryo waves at a staring stallion who blushes, quickly waves back, and rushes off, “It makes diplomacy easier. No need to siege this city to teach the ponies a lesson.”
“Dad wouldn’t let you do that anyway...”
“True, but it still makes the stay here more pleasant,” she pats Two’s head, finally having learned to do it softly enough not to stun the poor little beard.
“You know what? You’re right,” Two smiles back, and jumps on Cryo’s back with only the faintest help of her wings. Up there, she takes a deep breath, “HEY, PONIES, GO VISIT BLUE SKIES’ CLOTHES STORE! WARES GOOD ENOUGH TO COOL A CHANGELING DOWN IN THIS HEAT.”
***
“Heheh, you heard that, right?” Three, surrounded by eleven Elevens, pokes the nearest one who nods. All Elevens turn shiny white in a moment, followed by Three, “Hmmm, I can’t feel any different, but we’ll see.”
After having separated from the boss and wandering around for few minutes, Three and Eleven are looking around the main promenade of lower Canterlot, watching the colorful ponies momentarily slightly surprised by their transformations.
“Can I get that?” a small pyramid of Eleven is already propping the top one face to face with a stallion operating an inflatable balloon stand.
“It’s two bits per balloon, or I can make you an animal for three,” says the pony warmly.
“Awww… nevermind then,” Eleven is straining his speaking focus, “Thank you.”
“Boss has all the gold,” Eleven says mentally, recovering from the effort of maintaining balance and speaking from one mouth.
“Let’s find something we can try for free,” Three doesn’t lose his enthusiasm, “There must be… like a thousand ponies here. And you know you’re supposed to speak out loud. No slouching and disappointing the boss.”
“Okay,” Eleven nods.
Short while later, Three, floating above the heads of ponies, spots something blue ahead with a lot of young voices coming from there. He looks at a swarm of Eleven grouped underneath, and points.
“Let’s see what that’s all about.”
The carefully, and in some cases fairly acrobatically, make their way through the slowly moving crowd to a rather open area with something that Three identifies as an above ground pool, strictly on the basis of colts and fillies swimming around with ponies chatting nearby. He observes the situation for a while, and spots a colt simply getting inside the pool via a short set of steps. There doesn’t seem to be anyone wanting money for entry. Three floats down to Eleven, saying:
“Wanna cool down a bit? I admit the white color helps, but water would do us good.”
Eleven nods, and follows Three who walks to the pool undisturbed, with only few sideways glances from the parents around it. He drops in, and breathes out. Despite him being a little bigger than the foals, the water is up to his chin.
“It’s a little deep, so be careful,” he warns Eleven.
The first of four Elevens pokes the water, and finds it pleasantly cool even in this weather.
Then he steps in, and the remaining three on the steps jump instantly afterwards.
The mental echo of his panic resonates far and wide.
Four Elevens immediately start drowning, them being slightly smaller than even the foals. Three grabs one, but can’t fly him out due to wet wings, so his legs are flopping in the water to get one to the edge of the pool while the others are splashing and choking. Eleven can’t just grow something as complex as gills. He can barely do basic surface transformations.
Elevens outside just sit there, all control left from those bodies.
I’m galloping through the street already, world slowed down to a crawl. Yet, despite my enhanced speed, I see an even faster blur ahead, moving ponies aside so that my mad dash doesn’t hurt anyone. Neither I nor One can fly even remotely as fast as we can run, so we just do that.
Three has just managed to push one Eleven to the helping hooves of a pegasus outside, and dives back down where three more are only twitching along with the screaming of colts trying to get out.
One jumps in, transforming her forehooves into claws, and grabs an Eleven each while I feel desperate power well inside me. Through One’s eyes, I target my telekinesis, and pull the final Eleven out. An earthpony mare snatches him from the air, and stomps on his chest. I almost dart ahead and decapitate her, but she lowers her hoof from Eleven’s chest, puts her lips to his, and blows air into him. I must be missing something.
Her Eleven starts coughing immediately, and so does the one to whose chest One puts her horn and lets out a little love lightning. The one Three got out in time is sitting on the flagstones, trembling, and I grab the last one and carefully shake him, which by what must be pure luck because I have no clue what I’m doing works, as he begins coughing out water as well.
“What the hole, Three?!” my raised mental voice is shaking as well.
“I… I’m sorry, boss. The pool was too deep, and when Eleven panicked I couldn’t help him float. I’m… so sorry...”
I walk over to the earthpony mare and take a deep bow.
“Thank you very much for your help, miss,” I turn my head to the pegasus, “And you too, sir.”
“No problem,” says the mare, “Just be more careful, especially if the little ones can’t swim well.”
“Who cares? Bugs can always hatch twenty more,” someone snickers in the back.
One’s head snaps in the direction of the speaker who would normally be hidden in the crowd, but with her height, One can see the unicorn clearly. She only shifts her weight to the tip of her hoof, and the flagstone cracks under her foreleg.
“Let it go, One,” I breathe out, “This was our fault. And factually what he said was correct.”
“That pony wasn’t saying that from objective standpoint. It’s some bug hating hornhead.”
“You think I don’t know that? But what does it matter? We can’t just beat him senseless in the middle of the crowd as much as we’d both want to. Let’s be happy that other ponies helped. Damn, my heart is still pounding.”
One breathes out.
“You’re right, honey.”
Eleven’s bodies are all glaring at the pool, as if daring the water to jump out and try to hurt them again.
Three pokes the nearest drenched one, and says:
“I… forgot to tell you that you need to fill the holes in your legs,” he puts his forelegs up, shapeshifts them to remake his ‘cupholders’ and then makes them disappear again, “And you have to keep breathing. It helps you float. Sorry...”
Eleven pouts, raises his forelegs, and with supreme focus, the tiny holes in all his many legs disappear. All bodies wobble from sudden exhaustion, but one walks in front of me and points at my horn.
“Can I fly?”
Now it takes me some focus, because telekinesis isn’t something I use often, and I let one Eleven hover above ground. He points at the pool, and I fly him over there, not letting go as he gradually lowers his legs into the water. Very slowly, he starts splashing them around. Three hops inside again, but one colt is faster, and paddles over to Eleven.
“You gotta move your legs like this,” he swims around Eleven who stops moving, relying on my hold, and only watches. He nods after a moment, and the body sitting next to me says:
“Let go, boss.”
I do so, and the Eleven in the water, furiously holding his breath to stay afloat, starts moving.
“You need to breathe,” says Three, standing next to Eleven. This is advanced control, because even I don’t understand much how Eleven’s mind works, but the little guy is a quick learner in a pinch, and soon he’s flapping around alongside Three and other foals. He doesn’t dare try with more bodies at once yet, but he’s happy enough, and now that there’s no immediate threat, neither am I.
One colt has crawled out of the pool, and approaches Eleven sitting outside.
“Wanna go play hide and seek?”
“What’s that?” Eleven answers while his swimming body gets out of the pool.
“A game, we’ll show you,” the colt trots over to a group of others. Eleven looks at me, and when I nod he follows them.
“Three, keep an eye on him, will you? No drowning this time,” I pat Three’s strangely still fluffy pink, wet afro.
Finally letting out a sigh of relief, I nuzzle One’s neck, and look ahead at the shops.
“How about we cool down with some ice cream, hmm?”
“Don’t you want to keep an eye on Three?” she asks.
“Look, I trust him. He might have made an almost fatal mistake, but in his case that only makes me more certain he won’t do it again. He’s not one to get overconfident and complacent. Plus, Eleven needs to learn on his own too. I’ll protect them when I can, but I’m not going to raze every obstacle in their way.”
“That’s Comfort’s approach,” comments One.
“And your, really,” I add, “We all need to make mistakes to learn from them.”
One ponders that for a moment, then she smiles.
“Ice cream?”
“Yep.”
***
”I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN BUY A CLOTHES-THING LIKE THIS DOWN NEAR THE TRAIN STATION!” Cryo’s happy voice ruptures the eardrums of nearest ponies.
“That’s a sundress,” Two corrects her.
”I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN BUY A CLOTHES-THING LIKE THIS DOWN NEAR THE SUNDRESS!” Cryo corrects herself.
Two shrugs, and waves the board with Blue Skies’ shop address above her head.
“They’ll figure the message out eventually- whoah!” she grabs onto Cryo as the queen leans down to a public fountain, and with the noise of a partially stuck industrial pump starts drinking.
“Everything is blurry now,” she says when she pulls her head out of the water. Two takes Cryo’s sunglasses off, making the queen frown and shield her eyes with her hoof, “Brown and blurry was better.”
“They’ll dry out in a moment,” she puts them back on Cryo’s head, “Though you know what? That’s not a bad idea at all,” Two jump straight into the fountain, and walks under the water trickling from the horn of the unicorn statue serving as the central ornament. The cold water certainly helps a ton in this weather, “That’s a whole lot of ponies… and non-ponies,” she lay her eyes on a red, scaly creature with long neck, sharp teeth, and claws on its legs of Cryo’s size with large, leathery wings. A quick connection to One identifies it as a very young dragon. She heard of those from the dwarves, but much bigger and deadlier ones. No one is eating anyone, though, which counts for a lot.
“Two, this walking loaf of beard is courting me. How do I diplomatically cocoon it?” Two hears Cryo’s confused voice, and when she turns around she sees a creature she’s never seen before. Strangely enough, loaf of beard is a surprisingly accurate description. It’s somewhat bigger than an adult pony but with long brown hair all over covering most of its shape. There’s a muzzle sticking from the front otherwise barely distinguishable from the back, and it has horns like a minotaur above it.
“Bugpony look strong!,” it grunts. Cryo leans down to it, sniffs it, and scrunches her nose.
“What are you? How do you not melt in this heat?”
“Yak strong. Yak from north, but heat not defeat yak!” says the… yak?
“Look, little beard, it’s neighbor beard!” Cryo points at the yak and turns to Two.
“Literally,” Two splashes over.
“This not beard, this fur,” explains the yak, “Beard underneath.”
“That’s just her tick, ignore it,” Two waves her hoof.
“Yak got ticks too!”
“Color me surprised,” says Two flatly, “How can we help you, mister yak?”
“Yak want nothing. Yak only say big bugpony pretty! Huge assets,” the yak smiles, waves, and wanders off.
“What does banking have to do with courting?” asks Cryo.
“A lot, actually,” Two hops on Cryo’s back again, “Topaz told me he had a gold digger marefriend once. Great body, but a horrible leech.”
“All dwarves are gold diggers,” answers Cryo, “Wait no, gems and iron too.”
“You’re right,” Two chuckles to herself, lies down on Cryo’s back, and lowers her eyeshade over her eyes, “Let’s head on again. Boss hasn’t called yet, so we’ve got time.”
“Aww, I liked beard loaf. Tasty snack.”
Huh, Cryo does feel a little fuller.
***
“Hey! You’re really good at this,” an orange colt crawls from behind an apple stand as Eleven peeks under the counter accompanied by laughter of the owner, “That’s three times in a row.”
Eleven beams and leads the colt to other five already gathered foals.
“I bet you can’t do it four times in a row!” a green filly pokes Eleven’s chest.
“I can!” pouts Eleven.
“Hey, Three. You up for some trip down memory lane?” I ask.
“Is that here in Canterlot?” Three looks at the house numbers around, confused.
“No, I mean if you want to see someplace familiar. One and I are on the way.”
“Sure, boss. We’ll catch up with you,” answers Three.
“Come on, Eleven,” Three pats Eleven’s head, “Let’s see what the boss is all about,” and when they’re out of earshot, he leans down to Eleven’s head, “They might eventually figure out you’re cheating.”
“I wasn’t cheating!” objects Eleven, “Rules said nothing about me.”
He beams, and other ten bodies drop their invisible disguises which they used to spy on the hiding foals during the game of hide and seek.
I laugh to myself as well, and turn my attention back to One hoof wrestling a random dragon off of the street. To her it’s more a measure of love needed rather than a real contest, and soon the dragon’s foreleg touches the table hastily provided by the owner of the ice cream parlor, much to the dragon’s bulging eyes.
“Wha- whuh- how?” the dragon about twice One’s size chokes out.
“You’re pretty strong,” she pats his chest with a smile, “Well done.”
She looks around at gawking ponies holding ice cream cones. Few quickly chomp their cones down, and start stomping the ground in awe.
“Thank you, thank you,” One bows, “Huh?” she turns around as the store owner pats her shoulder, and gives her a small tub of multicolored ice cream, “Oh, thank you!”
“You drew quite the spectacle,” I comment, “That guy must have sold out half of his shop.”
“I’ve got an idea, honey. How about I smear it all over myself and you lick it off?”
“That would be a fun spectacle, but ponies might object in the same way they did when we tried it in Brauheim. Public indecency my ass.”
“Technically, MY ass,” she smirks.
“Can’t argue with that,” I admit, “Anyway, Three and Eleven will be with us soon. We should go. There’s still a whole half of the city to see.”
With One leaning lightly against me, we head through the less prominent streets to a certain place from my… almost seven years old map of the city.
Wow, has it been that long? Well, hibernating for five of those certainly made it shorter, but even the past two years in Brauheim just flew by.
When Three and Eleven finally catch up with us, we’re already at our destination, although it certainly does look different than last time.
“The Grand Plan Orphanage,” One reads the writing above the door, “They made… and orphanage out of it?”
“Oh hey, that’s where we lived in Canterlot, isn’t it?” Three beams, “Orphanage? That’s awesome! They’re like you, boss.”
“Huh?” I stop looking at the previously deserted house of our time, and turn my head towards Three, “What do you mean?”
“Well, we were all lost and alone at some point, but you got us together and we’re all happy,” he hugs my foreleg, and I blink away the first hint of tears.
No one says anything for some time, not even Eleven who can’t really recognize the meaning of this place.
“It’s been so long...” One mumbles eventually.
It’s clear why we’re here in Canterlot. This house is a reminder of everything that mustn’t happen again - changeling failures, pony hatred, griffon-pony wars, and greed of the power-hungry tearing the lands apart.
The corner of my mouth curls up, although my eyes are still wet. It’s been a very long trip since we left Badlands.
“Now it’s my job to make sure nothing like that happens again. Arriving late wouldn’t be a good start, and we still want to see the upper city.”
“Wait, there’s something written here too,” Three trots over to a rather large plaque by the door, “We might not always see the big picture. Things might seem scary at times. Friends might look like enemies, and enemies may pretend to be friends. However, as long as we don’t give up, there is light. Dedicated to the events of Zebrican invasion, and to the alicorn of Hope.”
“Huh, I wish Gem was in range. She would know what this means,” I comment. She did talk about the invasion of zebras and undead several years ago, but all I know is that supposedly everyone involved was played by the unicorn minotaurs consider their Dark Prophet. Don’t know anything about any alicorns, though. Oh well, “Anyway, let’s go. Upper Canterlot awaits, and imagine what’s there to see if the lower city is this lively.”
***
As it turns out, way less than one would expect.
I admit, it was fun taking the official route between the two cities for the first time - the wide and well-kept road winding up and around the mountain to upper Canterlot. The view was breathtaking, there were food stands and performers around serving to make the trip of the thick queue of carts and visitors more bearable, and in the end we crossed the train tracks Gem must have taken on her ride up. All in all, a lot more interesting than our previously used route - the sewers, although a lot longer, taking over an hour of casual walking.
And now we’re up here, this time all of us in white to combat the sun bearing down on us. Again, I mean. First time for me, I mean. Eh, shared memories make things confusing. One and Gem were up here few times during our original visit, Comfort obviously knows this place well since we have a still rather accurate map of the upper city in our hive mind from the time of the invasion despite her not being here now.
Still, it doesn’t take anything away from the sight. Beautiful, clean white buildings decorated with gems and gold everywhere around. Narrower streets still hosting many stands and street performers. Store owners inviting visitors from species I can barely recognize, and even an untransformed changeling here and there. It’s no Crystal Empire in its hospitality, but it does feel warm despite the occasional freaked out glance at me, One, and mostly Cryo in her rather fetching outfit… in a weird, unfitting way.
Two’s eyes are open wide as she’s turning her head from side to side while riding in the front on uncharacteristically smiling Cryo. One’s not looking around directly, but I feel her being tapped inside everyone’s eyes through me while she’s just walking by my side with a content smile, her ears flicking and turning. Three seems to have taken to flying, which he hasn’t been doing much underground, and is hovering above us with the occasional break on my back. Eleven is walking in a tight group behind me and One, all jaws dropped.
“Anyone hungry?” I ask, coming to a sudden realization. Our love levels are more than fine, but the mingling of ponies and various species around is rousing my desire to taste the emotions, “Or peckish really.”
“No. Ponies like me for some reason,” muses Cryo.
“...I wonder why...” whispers One into my ear while nodding to the wet globes of Cryo’s ass ahead.
“...she does look good in that, though...” I reply.
“...you like ‘em big and strong...” she chuckles.
“...I sure do...” I nuzzle her neck.
“Nom nom nom...” Cryo smacks her lips, sensing our love behind her.
“I’m good on the old love side,” reports Three, our own little ball of edible energy.
“You know...” Two says in thought, “While I’m not hungry, I am curious if this place supposedly full of magic has something interesting to offer. Dwarf brothels were sort of boring, Crystal Empire ones were neat, so I wonder how a high-class place here would taste.”
I toss her the pouch with bits from Gem. It’s not as if we would need it at this point, it seems. Most of the attractions have been free for foals, which did include Eleven and Three, our most interested members, and we didn’t have much use for food other than ice cream to cool down.
“Sure, go for it. Do you know where one is?” I ask. Two quickly scans Comfort’s map of the city.
“There is one nearby. Not completely high-class, but certainly a reputable establishment. I’ll check it out,” she jumps off of Cryo’s back and rushes into a side alley, “Keep an eye on miss wet T-shirt here, will you?”
Makes sense Comfort would know a place like that in detail. I have to ask if she worked there while preparing the invasion.
Cryo turns her head around when Two is gone, and says:
“Don’t worry, boss. I won’t cause any trouble,” she glances upwards, “In fact, I think I’ll find some shady spot and wait for little beard there.”
“Are you sure?” I ask. Despite Cryo’s peaceful and rather warm attitude, I do sense a hint of melancholy from her.
“I am,” she nods and walks off in the direction where Two left.
We walk around for a while, but I can’t help feeling something is off, and I barely acknowledge the attractions in our way.
“What’s bothering you?” asks One.
“Cryo felt… sad. Only a bit though.”
“Hugs must be administered!” Three punches the air, and Eleven beams in preparation for full body swarming. Cryo is the only who can get hugged by all his bodies at once, and he appreciates that.
It’s the little things in life.
“Maybe she remembered something,” ponders One, “I mean, the old conquest did end here in upper Canterlot when changelings couldn’t break through the castle defenses.”
We both remember only fragmented remains of the rulers’ memories, mostly only why things happened and not what exactly did happen. Carefully, I peek out of Cryo’s eyes to see where she is.
The huge queen is sitting behind a dumpster in a shady alley. Not sad, not contemplating anything, just… waiting. Come to think of it, ever since she joined us in Brauheim, she’s been spending time mostly with Two.
“I agree with Three,” I make an executive decision, “Onwards to huggery!”
Our little procession makes sitting Cryo look up quizzically, and I sense her puzzled surprise as Eleven jumps all over her, hugging everywhere he can reach. Three floats behind her, and hugs the back of her neck.
“Bad memories?” I ask, “I’m the boss right now, so you can’t get away with lying that easily,” I smile and wink at her.
“No memories,” she shakes her head, “Only… feelings. Everyone is so happy. It feeds me, it cheers me up, but to me… this place is a… a grinder,” she sighs, “It just hit me out of nowhere. I’m not about to try to refight the old wars, if you’re worried about that.”
Patting her foreleg, I slowly breathe out.
“No, I’m not. It just, I think that at this point I’m sort of attuned to something bothering my changelings, and I immediately want to sort it out. We suffered for long enough, and we deserve peace… or peace of mind in your case.”
“In my time, your underlings would eat you alive,” she chuckles and changes the subject, “Anyway, how’s little beard doing? I’m curious how Canterlot magical whorses taste.”
Together, we all look out of Two’s eyes.
She enters a rather dim and quiet hall decorated with wine-red carpet, wood paneling halfway up the walls, and electric lights disguised as torches scattered evenly on the walls.
“How can Ai help yoo, mees?” asks a cheery voice from a booth in an alcove to the right. Two blinks, taking a second to decipher the fumbled message, and looks at the speaker, a grey earthp- unicorn with most of his horn missing and the stub neatly filed down who is giving her a dizzy albeit genuinely friendly smile.
There is a sense of unease around him, but to Two it doesn’t seem as if she’s the cause. In fact, she can smell a changeling on him, although he clearly either isn’t one or is such a good infiltrator that he can hide his identity from her. Considering how much time she’s spent with Comfort, that’s extremely unlikely.
“This is a brothel, right?” Two walks over to the counter.
“Yes, mees,” the crippled unicorn nods, and reaches for a thick binder on his desk, “Wee have all yoo mite want, even for a sh- ch- shen-jee-link,” he stutters out.
“Wow, neat!” Two beams at the nervous receptionist, and puts the pouch with bits on the desk, “I’d like someone or something with tentacles, and two knotted dongs. No, make it a dragon. A big one.”
“Eeeeeeh...” the receptionist starts flipping the pages of his binder furiously, “Ai… Ai dont theenk we… meybe… no. Ai… Ai dont know,” his quietens down into mumbling which coupled with his fumbled speech Two can barely recognize, “Aim soree its taking so long… Ai normally just kleen d place… Rose is upstairs wit a customer coz wee ar busy wit all d veeseetors,” he reaches the end of the binder, obviously not finding something Two wanted, and starts visibly shaking, “Ai… meybe… if wee call my shen-jee-link frend for d tentickles, end Fleck is a diamond dog but shee is a shee, so no notty stuff. But wee hev dees fake strap-on thingies end shee can wear too of dose dragin ones. Ees dat okey wit yoo?”
His hopeful and scared stare locks on her as his impeded talking stops. Two takes a moment to decipher his message, which doesn’t seem to bother him at the slightest. He’s likely used to it.
“Umm, sure?” Two nods to the bits on the counter, “Hey, what’s your name?”
“Greyscale, mees,” the unicorn takes the pouch and starts counting while flipping the pages again, “But Aim not a worker heer. I mean I am but Ai just kleen d place. Wait, Ai alredy said dat. Soree,” he counts the money much faster than Two would expect, probably faster than she could, making her think that he’s just a very nervous pony with a speech impediment, not someone wrong in the head, “Umm, mees? Yor sixty-seven bits short.”
“Oh,” Two pouts. Settling for some normal unicorn whorse, albeit possibly a high-class one, would be underwhelming to say the least, “Nevermind then. I wasn’t sure about the prices in the big city,” she says politely.
Unfortunately, that serves to unnerve Greyscale even further.
“Ai, wait! Meybe wee ken work someting out,” he looks around, “Ai ken ask the lady if wee take inst-all-mence,” he peeks into the hall and to the right where there are stairs leading up in the distance, “Ai bought mai new heeter last winter like dat. No reeson to lose a customer-”
Two comes to her own executive decision, and jumps over the counter, landing with her forelegs around Greyscale’s neck.
“Aim not huggabl, mees!” contrary to his words, the unicorn stands stock still.
“On the contrary,” Two sinks her fangs into Greyscale’s neck, and stays like that until her venom makes him stop shaking and calm down. When his eyes glaze over, she whispers, “I wasn’t here. Have a nice and pleasant day,” after a quick thought, she adds, “and don’t worry so much.”
As dizzy Greyscale starts humming a happy tune, Two buzzes out of the booth, and quietly leaves the brothel.
“I apologize, boss,” she says via her link as she starts heading our way, “We don’t have enough money for anything interesting, and trying to force your order would do more harm than good.”
“Alright,” I reply, aware of what transpired and agreeing with her in every respect.
“Little beard would get shaved for this in my time,” comments Cryo as Two is landing in our alley, “I’m glad this isn’t my time anymore.”
“Shaved?” Two snickers.
Cryo just grins at her, and stands up.
“There is someplace I’d like to visit, though,” says Two, “The city walls - the view must be amazing.”
Come to think of it, while she did visit Rift and Crystal Empire, there wasn’t much to see from anywhere with a view.
“Hey, everyone!” I hear Gem’s voice in my head, ”I’ve set everything up in the castle. You don’t have to rush, but it would be a good idea to arrive in time for a tour.”
“Sure thing. We’ll start heading there,” I reply. To Two, I say out loud, “We’ll take it slow. You can go check out the city walls. We don’t know how much free time we’re going to have during the summit.”
“Thanks, dad,” she hops on Cryo’s back, and the two are quickly gone.
I turn to One.
“You know, I was trying to put it off as long as I could, but I guess it’s time to face the music, and by music I mean two alicorns you beat the everliving goo out of.”
“Huh, I wonder if I could do some permanent damage now. It was irritating to make them look as if they got a massage from a trash compactor only to have them heal few seconds later,” ponders One with a smirk, “You know, personal growth and all.”
“Please don’t greet any of the princesses with ‘Hi, remember how I broke your legs and stuffed them into your nostrils?’.”
“There’s a conversation ice breaker if ever I heard one,” One snorts as we’re once again walking on the crowded main streets, “And didn’t you do something to them too?”
“If we don’t count shitting myself so hard that some must have splashed her way, I can’t recall. Besides, I was Three’s size at the time. The best I could do would be poking her shin.”
“Heh, if Ten was here, he’s prefer poking that booty.”
“Quite honestly, who wouldn’t?” I mumble.
“Speaking of which,” One gives me a devious grin, “My ass or Celestia’s?”
“Ummm… my memory is a bit foggy,” I try to ignore Ten’s memories of him not entirely on accident becoming Celestia’s pillow, “I don’t think I can render a fair judgement regarding all the ways yours is better than hers- stop laughing, I know you’re in my head!”
“Yep, and it’s hella fun watching you worm your way out of this one,” One bumps her hips against me, “Pretty smooth attempt, though. Good job.”
“Thanks.”
It’s kinda hard to lie to someone who knows exactly what you think.
“It damn well is,” she comments, “Besides, the things I would like to do to her ass would be considered crimes against equinity in most of the world. I mean, just from the looks alone, Chrysalis and Comfort look great, but Sunbutt… holes damn!” she shivers as her imagination takes her to the land of lusty an happy.
“Thank you for that image,” I roll my eyes, “That’s exactly what I want on my mind when I meet her.”
“You worry too much,” she playfully punches my shoulder.
“That’s why I’m still alive and in this position,” I counter.
“Speaking of positions, us, Ten, Celestia three-and-a-half-some.”
“Screw you, honey...” I mutter.
“Already did that, but that alabaster plush-”
“Stoooooooooop...” groaning, I turn my attention to figuring out how to shapeshift my ears off without One knowing.
***
“Now this was worth it,” Two breathes out, standing on the crenellations of the upper Canterlot city walls. Cryo is standing next to her, and despite the boosting effect of the masonry for Two, her horn is still over Two’s head.
The ancient queen is looking down on Equestria, its forests, plains, fields, villages and small settlements occasionally dotting the landscape. Everything is lush with greenery or… vegetablery, which is the only word she can come up with. Changelings like her don’t know much about pony food.
Everything is so much alive...
Two blinks.
...and then it’s all gone, dead and burning.
Alright, I think I've figured the format out. As good as the giga-sized chapters are, I enjoy reading and replying comments way too much to do that only once a month 
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Now that is a cliffhanger if i ever saw one.
Behold! The great and powerful booty! Gaze onto it and rejoice! Let the booty raise your spirits!
Behold the booty!
Praise the booty!
Worship the booty!
See the booty, taste the booty!
Well, to be continued
Sadly, this time we didn't get featured by chapter three. It's all dooooooooooomed!
The cliffiest of hangers.
9770095
Ha Haaaaa!
9770096
Trixie? Where?
( ; ) booty ( , ) booty ( y ) booty
9770353
I know, we need to figure out what happens to Two and Cryo's ad campaign
Assassination attempt 1: killer water
Hopefully poor eleven doesn't build up a lifelong aversion to water from that event. In any case, the tourism seems to have gone pretty well for them. Without even trying they've managed to start making a name for themselves.
Of course, with two mysterious premonitions happening to two different people, who knows what could happen.
9772058
- 11 went swimming afterwards almost immediately. With help, of course.
- I think that more than for themselves, they made a name for Blue Skies' shop.
- Hopefully those aren't Deadly Premonitions, or the plot would get rather silly.
whelp... boss bug is now armed with the two most powerful weapons in his arsenal. i can see it now. "you have two options here... ether you comply and make three happy... or i let one have her way with you.... your choice."
9777635
The era of nuclear weapons is over. The era of Three is at hand!
I keep forgetting Eight is One now and I'm really confused a lot.
Other then that great job with this.
Read "brothel" and "unicorn with most of his horn missing" and my heart stopped. Shared universe, shared magic systems, endless possibilities. Nice reference.
9893300
It was a little check as to who read which stories, but also a sign that Greyscale is okay even... i think nine(?) years later .)
*claps hooves*
YES!
I remember when I was on summer vacation I was wearing my Chrysalis' t shirt. It was white with black sleeves. My shoulders felt like hell
9779649
I'm lucky. I already used to it.
9893357
Is that from that 1-2 your fanfics I didn't handle with?
Heh. I forgot that Three did that. The mental image of a changeling with a pink fluffy afro is rather funny.
I concur. Hugs fix everything. I swear, if someone gave Kim Jong Un a sincere hug, he'd turn into a big ol softy...
Right before his military breaks in and murders you for somehow getting that close to Kim Jong Un.
10056031
Three is the best changeling ever.
10056045
Maybe he would stop them, but then they'd assassinate him, so...
So...when did Comfort leave? I can't seem to pinpoint it