• Published 19th Jul 2019
  • 2,862 Views, 28 Comments

Cadance and the Wedding Crashers - Insp Jen-Itol



For centuries he's slept, no purpose, no call to wake him. But now... are those wedding bells i hear?

  • ...
4
 28
 2,862

Ch 4. Something Blue

Ordis gave Evan a complete rundown of the systems diagnostics, arsenal was still working, so he could access his already built weapons, but the forge was out meaning he couldn’t make any new ones or repair his broken vocalizer until he fixed it. Mods could still be accessed though said arsenal but to access them directly would take reconstructing the whole apparatus that was currently speared clean through with crystal. Autopilot flight was gone, so manual parking only, great.

Meanwhile in the light of the inactive relic terminal Twilight was filling cadence in on the last few days, how she’d noticed all Cadance’s “eccentricities” called her out on it and was sent by the evil queen into the same cave system she’d dumped cadence, her retelling only occasionally delayed as she marveled at each new technological marvel Evan absentmindedly accessed and dismissed in rapid succession. Evan was only half listening to the exchange, most of his attention occupied by the menus through which he cycled. He was jacked into the arsenal, a matrix-like cord plugging from the device directly into the back of his neck, checking his options. Distracted though he was he still made note of a few… divergences from the show. Twilight this time was sent to be hounded by three changelings, not three bridesmaids, which made more sense as an infiltrator would naturally want any threats quickly isolated and dealt with. Then there was Cadance who, in the show, seemed to have not even tried to escape or even move from where she was placed before. Instead she found him, they found twilight, and then they all conveniently stumbled upon this ship. Very convenient indeed.

Almost as convenient as him finding that a re-leveling of his warframe to be totally unnecessary. The entire mastery rank system itself was absent, all his powers unlocked. Less so was the discovery that the system lacked any health, shield, or armour adjusting mods, the former now serving as simple percentages. A loose approximation of how close he was to death. Though it did free up plenty of space for some choice ability modifiers and upgrades. Furthermore, every weapon he had used and discarded in the great chase for that rank was now magically returned to his inventory, completely preserved and ready for use. Including all his custom built kitguns and zaws. Evan spent several minutes skipping from menu to menu perusing the stats of hundreds of weapons, deciding eventually he would need something predictable and simple. This wasn’t a game anymore. This was real. Splash damage weapons like grenade launchers and canons were out, shotguns or snipers could easily rip through their targets into unwitting civilians, and machine guns could pack quite the kick in all the wrong directions.

He’d need something more reliable, something he’d used before in the real world. Memories of trips to the gun range with his father filled his mind, feeling more ancient and alien than the crashed structure in which he now stood. One stuck out to him from all the grey, a single moment of silence, closeness, and absolute focus. Just him, the weapon, and the target.

After choosing the paris bow for his primary he spent more than a few minutes debating weather or not to select the kunai, they were a stealthy option even if his warframe wasn’t. ‘On the other hand, I will inevitably be going loud. This is an invasion after all.’ Finally settling on the closest thing he could find to a basic pistol, a single lato filled his secondary. The skana blade filled the final melee weapon slot, to take advantage of his frame’s built in passive affinity for swords.

His weapons selected and properly modded, the loadout materialized around him. He could practically feel the molecules form as the weight of the paris formed on his back, the slim skana quickly followed but was mostly unnoticed save for how it almost balanced out the added weight of the arrows and quiver. Then the pistol materialized on his hip and he rested his hand on it like a hero of some old western. And there in the flickering lights of his injured and leaking abode, armed and restocked with allies at his side, about to embark on a mission to protect the innocent and save the world, he felt like one.

Ordis felt it appropriate to compliment his master, “You have remembered well how the tenno arm themselves operator.”

“Uh?... where did those come from? How did you… Why is the ceiling talking?!” The now mostly healed unicorn rudely interjected. A flurry of more rushed questions poured from her mouth like water from a faucet into an overrun sink. Spilling all over the place.

The ship cephalon chose this moment to manifest a flickering holo-projection to address the little intruder. “I am ship cephalon Ordis an advanced logistics and navigations advisor unit, I serve the operator. How are you little girl? Are your parents nearby?”

The purple mare was stunned silent by this unexpected and insulting treatment.

Evan interjected with a simple thought, ‘Ordis have you completed the exterior scan?’

“Yes operator environmental scans complete!” he chirped pleasantly.

‘right…’ he motioned for him to continue, ‘and…?’

“We are currently crashed landed in a cave made of crystals!”

Three hands met face in an echoing slap. The tiny diamond hologram twisted its ‘head’ around in confusion.

“Truly an ’advanced logistics unit’ at work here. Oh, how shall pony-kind ever compete?”

Evan noticed the uncharacteristic snark of Twilight’s quip. Though, he supposed that having everyone you love doubt you only to then be proven totally right all along and almost killed would foul anyone’s mood. But for it to have affected the adorkable twilight to this degree… this demanded snuggy wuggies, mountains of snuggy wuggies. After they’d saved the day of course.

Cadence interjected, “Uh, Twilight I saw you scan the cave wall before we came in here, did you find anything?”

“Yeah a door.” The whole room started in surprise, save for Ordis who simply did his best imitation of a glare. “An arcane door to be precise, it can only be opened by casting magic on it while keeping in mind a specific image, word, or other concrete thought.” She continued, “but even if we knew what disgusting shapeshifting bug monsters use for passwords, we’d still need changeling magic to open the thing.”

The human turned space ninja flinched at her unspoken jab as her gaze pierced him, ‘I really should have kept that one alive.’ He thought, stroking his metallic chin in concentration. ‘Now how are we going to get out of here?’ He paused, a malfunctioning light above his head blinking on suddenly without provocation, ‘Waiiiiit a minute,’ Evan realized, eyeing his arsenal, ‘Ordis ask her to show us where the door is.’

***

After the rude little ghost-box had relayed the alien unicorn’s request to her, Twilight led him and cadence back out of the technological marvel and to where she’d detected the arcane door. It wasn’t far from the ship’s rear boarding ramp, situated in the crystal wall just beneath what must have been the ships main engine, currently suspended in the air above them by a crystal growth which sent the whole vessel slightly askew. “Well, here it is.” She declared, “based on the trace amounts of sediment mixed in with the wall I’d say we aren’t far from the surface, we could try to blow it or tunnel through but even within the scope of my own extensive magical abilities I’d run dry long before I got through this.”

“If the wall is that thick then why not just tunnel through the door directly?” Cadance asked, moving along the wall to the side to illustrate her point.

The alien scratched his chin in thought at this and walked back to the flightless ship, leaving the two mares alone.

Twilight was too distracted to notice however as she was caught wondering why an alicorn specializing in crystal magic would ask such a thing, just blinking at her for several seconds before walking over and answering. “Its not a question of thickness Cadance it’s a question of density. The whole crystal formation, save for the interior outgrowths, has the same density due to the thaumial field from which it formed. The more thaumials it rates the harder it is to cut. It could be the exterior of the whole mountain is like this.”

“…and we can’t just teleport out?”

“No. Magic crystals mean magical interference; more likely we’d end up inside the wall than beyond it.”

“Oh… well, if we really have no other way but the tunnels then...”

Twilight could see the stress in her words almost gain physical form from the bruises and scrapes she’d bandaged from her once beautiful wedding dress. A small dark part of her wanted to think ‘good serves her right.’ After all she had kept her relationship with her brother secret up until the day of their bucking wedding, all that time acting like a sister to her, watching over her while she grew up until she didn’t need a sitter anymore, all that time going behind her back. But she quickly bucked those thoughts straight over sweet apple acres. Cadance WAS her friend, WAS like a sister to her, and whatever reason she had for not telling her must be a reasonable one. So, she pushed down her anger at being forgotten and disbelieved and asked. “Uh, Cadance I know this might not be the best time to ask but why didn’t you ever tell me you were dating my brother?”

She appeared surprised by this, “What?”

“My brother, you never once told me you were dating him. I honestly had no idea you even liked each other until I got the wedding invite.”

“But I thought you already knew, he said he sent a letter months ago.”

Twilights blood slowly boiled with rage from her hooves to her muzzle, tiny wisps of fire sparking around her mane as she shook violently in place. “SH-SH-SH-SHINING ARMOUR YOU MOTHERBU-!”

!CRASH!

Interrupted from their talks the two mares turned in unison to the source of the disturbance. The large crystal outgrowth had fallen, cut cleanly at the base, allowing the once aloft engine to fall right in front of the sealed arcane door. The ship now tilted harshly in the opposite angle, twilight mentally noting access to the boarding ramp was now totally blocked. As the Celestia high not-pony walked back towards them from the dust cloud his cutting stirred. Strange blue light coalesced around his fist as he pushed it into his other’s palm, disappearing completely as it completed the clearly practiced motion. A motion so swift she couldn’t make out what shape the energy was truly in.

The alien figure walked proudly out of the dust cloud, wiping his metal covered hands in a clapping motion his whole posture imitating that of a certain farm-mare after a job well done. Twilight was not pleased, Cadance even less so.

“WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU DO!!?” She screamed. “THAT WAS OUR ONLY WAY OUT! NOW WE’RE TRAPPED IN HERE!”

“Not so little miss.” Ordis almost chortled as he materialized above the alien’s shoulder.

“Explain.” Both mares commanded in a threatening tone.

A single bead of sweat inexplicably materialized on the stallion’s metallic brow as he presented his open palms in a placating gesture. He nervously gestured to his more talkative companion to continue.

“Yes operator, you see child-”

“I AM A GROWN FREAKEN MARE YOU-!” Cadance clasped her hands around Twilights mouth, shushing her before nodding toward Ordis to continue.

“As I was saying, you little one was correct in your assessment that the crystal cavern would take substantial energy to force open. My operator, in his brilliant wisdom, calculated that the force of an over juiced discharge from a liset engine could provide that required force. So, I sorted myself for a hard transfer into the operator’s warframe and set the countdown.” He chirped.

Cadance visibly stiffened at this, “Uh, sorry but wouldn’t an explosion in such a small enclosed space cause the cave to collapse on us and kill us all?”

Twilight could feel the rising heat of stress scratch at her throat, the alien and his virtual parrot just started blankly ahead as if this totally foreseeable event was completely new to their minds. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, the ‘operator’ glanced back at the crashed vessel turned bomb, then moved to grab the two tiny equines in front of him crouching and pouncing in one smooth motion to a distant rock formation all the way across the room.

A single thought coursed through the unicorn’s mind as they just barely made it within arms reach of the rocks, ‘is this really how I die?’ Crystals and rocks flew everywhere, and the last thing she saw was the engine erupting in a brilliant flash.

***

Spike fidgeted with his claws nervously. Rainbow and Fluttershy flew back and forth with other pegasi hanging the last of the decorations, Applejack and Pinkie were putting out the confectionaries, Rarity had locked herself away for some last-minute adjustments with the princess and her wedding gown, and he couldn’t find twilight anywhere. He’d searched everywhere, practically turning the entire palace upside down, from the north-most observatory to the distant guest rooms near the south entrance, the highest towers and even the dungeons. The young drake worried about her, especially after how she’d been shunned by her friends and family. He just didn’t know what was going on or why she would accuse Cadance of all ponies of being “evil”. He stared out the large window of the guest room he had just tossed trying to wrack his brain to think of anywhere he might have overlooked.

No, she wasn’t in the library either he checked.

The sudden eruption of the Canterlot mountain went almost unnoticed at first to his vacant stare. But the flowing plume was almost impossible to ignore to his young mind. Crystals and stone rolled down the sharp and rocky mountain face, some skidding to an abrupt halt mere hoof-paces from where they’d landed, others rolled and grew in mass with loose clumps of earth sticking to their jagged edges.

“Geez!” commented the drake, “I’d hate to be in the path of that thing.” he noted with satisfaction that given the extreme topography of the mountain the slide of debris wouldn’t come close to the city itself, harmlessly rolling down the mountain’s side to be inevitably stopped by Shining’s shield before it could harm anypony.

He turned and resolved to check the closets again, giving no further mind to the unusually explosive mountain, or the single speck of purple pink and grey fleeing the descending mass of death for their very lives.

***

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” asked Cadance.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” answered Twilight simultaneously.

‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!’ resolved Evan, though none but Ordis could hear him.

They had just barely made it. The astounding agility of the warframe and Evan’s quick thinking giving him just enough time to realize the severity of what he’d done, grab the two mares under each of his arms, and leap to safety from the initial blast. This was no real respite as not seconds after the initial detonation the entire ceiling seemed to take very personal offence to the destruction of its good friend Mr. Wall, descending itself to personally seek vengeance and in failing that; sending its many jagged, heavy, and incredibly deadly offspring to finish the job.

Evan was then forced to run for all of their lives from his less than perfect escape plan, sprinting and leaping over, under, and between flying chunks of debris to avoid the avalanche of earthen mass. Remembering how hard he’d flunked so harshly from the Prometheus school of running away from things he looked frantically for his chance to use that wonderfully failed miseducation to his advantage. But the avalanche only grew in height and breadth with seemingly no escape. Finally spotting a formation of rock, sprouting from the mountainside like a great vein or root, angled not unlike a skating ramp to herd the deadly charge away from civilization, he leapt for it. Offering a silent prayer for whatever being designed his warframe with infinite stamina he slowed his pace only slightly, dodging a veritable shotgun spray of pebbles kicked up by yet another falling boulder, crouching and leaping away from his intended goal. He hit the side of another falling crystal fragment wall running along its smooth surface to the peak then launching himself for another falling object opposite it. There he repeated the process one final time and upon reaching the forth and final crystal wall he took off in the longest bullet jump of all time, he held his fuzzy little passengers closer to his chest as tight as he dared, waiting to time his double jump just… right…

They hit the ground hard, the alien warrior losing his grip on his companions as they all tumbled down the grassy hill they had landed on. Twilight reached the bottom first, she hit the ground in the classical canon ball formation and rolled through several beautiful fields of buttercups and daffodils before getting caught on a mole hill and flipping over to the point she landed on her head spearing her into the ground on her horn. Next came Evan who bounced from seemingly every single pointed rock on the mountain to every other pointed rock on this silly little hill, before finally sliding to a silent halt next to twilights still spinning form. What remained of Cadance’s dress caught the wind and, despite the numerous holes in the fabric which should have prevented this, gently carried her to a safe landing at the hill’s base before she collapsed onto her butt from exhaustion.

They all just sat there for several moments just drinking in the feeling of how not dead they were.

Then slowly, almost hauntingly, a small mechanical chuckle arose. Sparks and distorted chortles spewed from the damaged section of Evan’s neck as he lay there. Twilight soon followed in her own adorable chuckling from the shear ridiculousness of her landing. Cadance followed last half gasping half giggling like a schoolgirl as she too felt the adrenaline drain from her veins, her mind finally processing that the depth of her fear had kept her from using her wings at all to adjust her descent. Realizing now the thin thread of luck that had just kept her from being plastered all over the ground.

They laughed until the bells sounded, shacking the horned trio back to their senses.

“Oh no!” Twilight exclaimed in alarm, “The wedding’s starting! If we don’t get there soon the changelings are going to kill every pony!”

The pink princess exhaled in dread, “Shining…”

Evan sprang to his feet dusting the dirt from his chest and legs, he unsheathed twilight from the ground quickly flipping her to her feet. Checking his pistol for any damage or jamming, he then pulled Cadance to her feet and thrust the pistol into her waiting hand. She hesitated. Looking from the alien weapon of death in her hand, to the dazed unicorn on her right, then finally to the great palace in the distance, housing all her loved ones and the creature that threatened them. He honestly wasn’t sure what she was thinking in that moment, a human of any stripe wouldn’t hesitate to use violence to protect their family, but ponies? There where too many unknowns about this strange alien species to say anything definitive. So it was a great and somewhat reassuring surprise when she strengthened her grip around the metallic death device to accept what little offensive protection it offered. A burning ferocity steeled her eyes as she gazed back at him. ‘Good’ he thought, ‘I just hope she doesn’t hesitate to use it when the time comes.’

He turned sharply on his heel, racing to the nearest building and scaling its side. His endless stamina powering him across the rooftops towards the new checkpoint in his sights, assassination target acquired.

***

Cadance clumsily handled the weighty alien weapon in her fur coated hands. Trying to discern a comfortable way to hold the thing proved difficult given its size. As if someone had taken a large door handle and expanded it across every imaginable axis.

The idea of killing was… difficult for her, naturally it was difficult for everypony. Ponies, being herbivores, lacked the natural inclination towards aggressive or more… permanent actions against others. It was different now though; her new friend was the best option they had to delay the queen’s plans. He had to go first to face whatever she had cooked up for the first wave of the attack, to buy them time to reveal her deception. He had to go alone; they’d just slow him down.

Twilight rose from her dizzied state still shaking her head, her quick uprooting having jarred more than the metal warrior had intended. “uhhhh… wait, where’s he going?”

“Ahead, to buy us time.” Cadance answered resolutely.

“Well without him how are supposed to make it in time? All the cabs are probably at the palace, waiting for the wedding to let out.” Twilight moaned still massaging her brow, “Wait, we’re on the far south-east end of the city right?”

Cadance looked at twilight with a concerned tilt of her head, “Um yeah… that’s where the mountain is, are you ok twily?”

“Yeah, yeah, its just… ok that’s over there… and that’s there… then it must be…” the purple unicorn glanced around the available area frantically pointing to seemingly random objects and places, occasionally glancing back at the castle. Cadance felt her unease for her friend’s mental state steadily grow.

“Here!” she cheered, reaching her hand into a seemingly innocuous rock. A definitively mechanical click sounded from somewhere in the earth, a nearby pile of stone rumbled with a light glow of enchantment rolling and sorting itself to reveal a secret passage beneath them. “Back when I lived in the palace Celestia showed me these secret passages the old unicorn royals used back when their castle once stood here. They used them to get to and from their home in secret or to escape assassination attempts. They’re built into the structural integrity of Canterlots foundation itself and lead to old safehouses all over the city, some coming up right where the castle now sits. The princess showed them to me in case of an emergency.”

Cadance just stood bewildered staring at the secret passage before her a single question pushing on her lips, “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“You used to be a Pegasus, so maybe she figured you’d just fly away from danger? I mean I was just a foal when I moved in.”

“… she trusted you with this, but not when you told her ‘I’ was acting strangely?” The purple unicorn could only stutter in response, attempting to conjure some excuse for her favorite teacher. Cadance only continued, the steel returning to her eyes, “Doesn’t matter. Save the world first, lecture the thousand-year-old god-queen of pony kind about trust issues later.” Her tone was resolute and brokered no further argument, they descended into the tunnel, twilight taking the lead towards the palace.

***

A small knot formed in the back of Celestia’s gut, a phantom of worry for her missing pupil. Though centuries of practice let her perform the very long, and quite droll, rites of marriage perfectly, her mind couldn’t help but ponder on the question. It just wasn’t like twilight to be so… selfish. The alicorn had once feared she’d instilled enough humility in the little unicorn to make her outright praise-ophobic but her recent actions spoke to some kind of twisted jealousy or perhaps sense of entitlement to her brothers attention that just didn’t sit right with her.

Cadance was an alicorn, a proper self ascended one, something not heard of or seen since Celestia and Luna themselves. She could never marry her first love, not again, not after he inevitably past on. Her student had to have known this! Yet Twilight’s actions demonstrated a new and dangerous sense of entitlement, something she’d have to deal with very sternly after the ceremony was completed. Gods knew she didn’t want to let it grow and fester, not like last time.

Though she often had to battle dark thoughts during happy occasions, her mind wandering down centuries of regrets, she became accustomed to it enough to force herself through anything with a smile. Thus, she reached the pinnacle of the ceremony proper, “-and if anypony should feel there is reason these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their piece.” She paused for formality’s sake, she knew none would object, it was but an old and silly clause of older times. Then afterwards would come her favorite part, the kiss, and all the good times that would come after. For the briefest moment she remembered hers, oh how she cherished each memory of him, no matter how solemn or distant they seemed. She hoped only the best for the new couple before her, and by all the power in her she would do her best to ensure their marriage was as peaceful as possible.

But just before she could utter the final words and seal their union, the window broke.

***

Evan burst through the elegant stain glass window, feeling a small sting of guilt over its destruction, firing no less than four arrows nigh simultaneously at his target. Firing like a machine gun, his mechanical limbs seemed to challenge the very concept of physics with their rippling imitation muscles. The first hit her horn pinning her to the wall, the second pierced her arm as she tried to remove the first, then a leg to seal in the bug queen just how helpless she truly was. The fourth was a kill shot, sent to finish the job, but that’s when the big white one intervened.

Evan cursed as his arrow burst into a shower of ice crystal against a powerful golden shield. He quickly ducked behind the cover of a pillar as the terrified ponies fled the room from his intrusion.

He had picked the bow mostly due to its focus on puncture damage, something he thought would be paramount against the probable thick exoskeletons of the insectoid changelings. He chose ice damage for its status by process of elimination, magnetic might have been useful against magic but he didn’t want to test his allies well-being to test that, corrosive might have broken down the shield more effectively but he opted against it due to squeamishness over seeing what projectile acid might do to a living target. In the game statuses only affected a targets health, speed, or armour, they were flashy means of hindering a target nothing more. These targets weren’t npc’s they were real thinking feeling creatures. But now he was cornered, facing a creature he had never intended as an enemy, Celestia; the sun goddess-queen of ponykind herself. His mind scanned endlessly for what he knew of her from canon searching for a weakness, she was the royal defender and ruler of a whole nation, wielder of the full nuclear force of a sun. Force which now pelted his slowly shrinking cover from existence. Nothing from canon came from his mind to aid him, despite her many defeats, every villain who achieved victory over her was either gone in Nightmare Moons case, still gestating beneath the Everfree, or currently still in the form of a certain ink pony princess using her love slave to free her from the wall.

Finally, his eyes settled on a single fallen stallion, his legs tangled in a mess with one of the fold-out chairs used for the overflow of guests. Celestia was sworn to defend her little ponies to the death. He hated doing it, but lesser evils for bigger demons as they say…

Dodging another volley of energy from the enraged alicorn he dove at the helpless pony trying unsuccessfully to remove himself from the rubble. The goddess’s eyes widened in shock as she realized what Evan was doing, but she was too late to stop it. He grabbed the helpless wriggling pony in his iron grip, drawing the skana from his back, holding the blade to his victims’ neck.

The room fell dead silent.

Evan hated this, he didn’t want to hurt the old blue coated stallion, but Celestia thought he did, and the changeling queen was already almost loose. Sweat dripped from the captive’s brow. Celestia panted in exertion staring at Evan. The hypnotized shining armour wrenched the arrows from ‘Cadance’s’ limbs. He stared back into the princess’s piercing glare, “you will not harm my little ponies, monster!” she spat like a curse. ‘Good,’ he thought ‘she bought it.’ Fast as a devil he raised his sword and cast his radial blind. The shield fell as the great white alicorn moved to shield her eyes from the flash, Evan leaped forward, captive pony still in hand. Throwing the temporary hostage at the princess, he levied his sword with both hands aiming straight for his targets heart. Then her already freed horn leveled at the attacking warframe, unleashing a powerful blast of love fueled energy that cut through its high-density alloy chassis like a bulldozer through wet paper.

Even his channeled skana could only barely reflect half the emerald energy out of its intended target, the sheer force of the beam forcing him to slide back across the room inch by inch. The not-Cadance raised a half-transformed claw to blast the ground beneath him, throwing him straight across the marriage hall and was stuck deep into the wall next to the Celestia sized doors at the hall’s entrance. His body rag-dolling to the floor in a heap, many pieces of plaster and marble falling atop him from the cracked walls and ceiling.

The world went black.

***

Celestia had seen several strange, outright horrifying, sights in her many many days, yet this… this was certainly a new entry to the list…. The first genuine equal she had in eons twisted before her in a blaze of emerald flame into the image of one of her most hated foes. “Chrysalis.” She breathed, the dark queen of the changelings. Her infiltrations had caused more hatred and chaos amongst her little ponies than the warlords of old and discord combined. And now here she was; standing in the heart of her own kingdom, her home, threatening her ponies.

“P-princess?”

Celestia looked to the shaking stallion in her arms, “Night light, run.” Her order was absolute and brokered no argument from the blue unicorn, her mana reaching around his shivering form taking him across space and time far away from danger. For now.

The diarch of the sun rose to her full height flames danced around her muscled limbs, mostly for show but she had found intimidation to be half the battle in forcing a quick resolution to the confrontation. Sure, chrysalis had come to take her kingdom, naturally this would mean she was prepared to fight the princess, but that didn’t mean she knew the full measure of the giant she now awoke.

In the silence of the scorch burned marriage hall, in the face of the most pissed off and powerful alicorn on the planet, the bug queen’s chuckle pierced the air. Rising to a howl of mirth its unholy note practically suffocated the air itself.

Celestia was taken aback at this, had the queen gone mad? While she had taken opponent in the throes of madness before, their erratic strategies often made their actions impossible to predict and preventing civilian casualties next to impossible. Not good.

The invader pointed a single claw at Celestia, her grin cutting her face like the bloody blade of a butcher’s knife, “That’s right princess! I’m back!” she posed triumphantly, spreading her wings and arms to the sky, her dark chitinous form silhouetted against the tall stain glassed window behind the alter, light barely breaking through the wicked holes dotted across her limbs as if consumed. “Back from that pit of flame and death to which you damned my people.” Her voice spit the words of her speech like venom, daggers to cut the strength of the immortal royals resolve, “Forced to cannibalize each other just to survive another day, another hour, another minute, all for this day of vengeance!” Nearly every word was punctuated by Celestia throwing out bolt after bolt of energy at the advancing monarch, only to then be swatted away like gnats of annoyance from the air by her supercharged opponent. Finally reaching the alabaster alicorn and blasting away her display of arcane might along with all her mystical defences.

Her wicked claws gripped the diarch tightly and raised the drained princesses by her throat. Celestia hurt everywhere especially her horn, unable to cast so much as an illumination spell under the sheer magical weight chrysalis was projecting. “H-how are you d-doing this?”

“Simple my dear, love. The most powerful force in the universe, though a limited resource, that little colt has one Tartarus of a big tank! More than enough to overpower even you!” Her grip tightened around Celestia’s throat, blocking most but not all the air from its passage, forcing her to choke on her own saliva. She grinned wickedly at her struggle, violently kicking her hooves at the air for purchase, her hands gripping her exoskeletal arm for some form of leverage, all in vain. “Oh…” she breathed through fanged teeth, “I’m going to enjoy hurting you little pony, over and over and over again, until you beg me to end it. Now you will wait, and you will suffer, while your precious little ponies are hunted down and devoured by my hive! Trapped with no where to run, by their own defences.”

Celestia felt pain without description, her mind sent into a panic for drowning on dry land, in her own palace! So, consumed with the instinctual fear of death, and her tormentor with her execution, that both failed to notice a perfectly non-descript section of wall silently slide open to reveal two outcast pastel ponies. One of whom with a very loaded gun.

***

The weapons report echoed throughout the hall, three shots sounded, two hitting their mark. The changeling’s eyes opened in shock, her grip failing to hold her victim aloft any longer.

Celestia tumbled to the floor gasping for air, Twilight quickly raced from Cadance’s side to aid her mentor. Thin wisps of magic dripping from the spent unicorn’s near empty magic reserves.

Cadance kept her weapon leveled at the monster as it stumbled back into one of the pews, bracing herself against it for much needed support. The pink princess found herself shaking, she had not expected for the weapon to jerk back so violently, or so ear splittingly loud, or so frightfully easy to use.

Smoke still flowed from the barrel.

Chrysalis put an ebony claw to her wounds and felt the blood pool into it. Her gaze of terror lifting from the green ichor laden damage to cut the princesses’ eyes with a hateful stare.

“This isn’t over princess!” she spat, uttering the royal title like a curse, before disappearing in an emerald flash.

The alien weapon fell from her hands. She breathed shakily, her eyes scanning the room. Then she saw him, it almost didn’t feel real. Like something from a dream. Next thing she knew her arms were around him, holding him, breathing his scent, feeling the warmth of his chest once more. Her shining.

But he did not move, his eyes still swirled in emerald energy, the mark of the bug queen’s control still holding him under her hoof.

The pink princess cradled his head in her arms. She hadn’t cried when she found out she was adopted, she hadn’t cried when the changelings took her, she hadn’t cried even while starving to death in the caves, but now sitting in the ruined marriage hall meant for her wedding, holding the one pony she loved more than the world itself…

Celestia and twilight moved towards the silently wailing mare but found their efforts flounder upon reaching her. Both well learned ponies finding their extensive scientific understandings failing them in comforting a mare who may have just lost her most beloved to a scrambled mind control spell.

Celestia scanned the captains mind searching for some way to untangle his mind from the spells Lovecraftian grip. “I-I can’t get a grip, its just so tangled in and out of his own mana. If I had a scan of the caster. Some way to isolate the arcane profile of the queen from his own with absolute certainty I could do it.”

“So we need Chrysalis to save Shining from Chrysalis. Oh buck…” Twilight less than helpfully observed.

On the other side of the room, the alien stallion rose from the rubble of his defeat to behold the scene of grief before him. The limp body of the groom to be, cradled in the arms of his crying wife, surrounded by the forms of two of the most powerful and presently ineffectual magic users on the planet.

Cadance’s sharp pegasus hearing picked up the sound of shuffling debris and turned to face the faceless warrior. Her voice was a haunting note absent any compassion or care most would expect from one so small, but her order was irrefutable. “Bring me the bitch alive.”

A single nod was the only response the alien needed, retrieving his pistol and a few discarded arrows he leaped out through the broken window into the courtyard below.

***

The swarm was waiting just outside the shield. Staring down at Evan with a billion hateful eyes, the queen emerged from behind the swarm, magic still fusing her pierced chitin back together. Her claw raised and the hoard of bug themed unicorns with wings, who are all probably capable of teleportation, begin to bash and claw their way through the barrier that their own plan necessitated erecting.

Even swore he could almost hear a faint voice, howling and screaming curses in ancient mandarin in the far far distance.

He notched his bow with a single arrow, his eyes scanning the cracking pink shield for its weakest point, took aim charging the weapon with the forbidden energies of the void, and as the first changeling began to show a single claw beyond the cloud of energized pink, he fired.

The arrow flew straight and true cutting through the shield without error impaling itself within the bodies of the first few creatures to enter the crack. A few scurried in after them as the leader’s bodies were lifted off by the momentum. The arrow glowed, building in intensity for the slowest final moments of its victims’ existence, and exploded. The blast blew the crack wide open, taking many underlings out in an incinerating blaze, the few who had made their way in ahead of the others where hit by the blast wave and sent crashing to the earth below.

With movements swifter than any flesh and blood creature could dream to achieve the void touched warrior flowed around the courtyard cutting and slashing each descending enemy. The forces above regrouped quickly from the first assault, chrysalis still screaming at her warriors to decent and slay the interloper. Evan could almost make out the words “-there’s only one of him and hundreds of you! Go!” as the swarm descended.

Focusing his energies, he returned the blade to his back, standing ramrod straight he put his fist to his open palm and drew the exalted blade. Excalibur’s fourth and final ability. One of the most powerful dps machines in the game, what he lacked in toughness, uniqueness, or buffs, in a game focusing on fighting hordes of highly durable enemies, this was what he was built for. Waves of death flowed like a river from the energies of the void in his hand. Cutting the air and anything that got in its way, two, three, whole squads of attackers at a time.

Bodies rained from the sky.

Yet even at the abilities most efficient it couldn’t stem the seemingly endless tide. The swarm landed screeching for blood, surrounding him. He cancelled the blade and as the vampiric predators charged en-mass from all directions, magic primed in their claws. Fortunately, radial javelin was designed for situations such as this. He remembered fondly enough the first time he had activated the ability, embarrassingly enough when he had first started the Warframe game he didn’t know how the other powers worked and had leveled his Excalibur to full mastery without using any ability beyond the first. Oh, how he remembered the feeling of freedom in that moment, mixed with the shame of his own stupidity yes, but still he relished it. Discovering a whole new means of dominating the battlefield. If Evan had a face now, he’d be grinning like a jackal.

Almost a third of the landed enemy forces were wiped in that first attack alone, now only the stragglers remained scattered across the open courtyard.

He jumped and flew around the courtyard like an angry blue comet. The energies of his attacks bathing the arena in an electric hue. Slash dashing from tiny body to tiny body, blinding and javelining everything in his path. When they fell out of range of those the bow and pistol finished the job.

Now only the queen remained, she had wanted the honor of laying the final blow on Evan herself, flanked by two of the biggest changelings he had seen thus far. The twin brutes stood a full head taller than their queen, and two above Evan himself. Those heads sat upon hunched shoulders layered on mountains of muscle, or whatever the insect equivalent is.

His energies low, down to his last mag on the lato, and only a guesstimate of a handful of arrows to his name. If he possessed lips Evan would have muttered something about “ninja rules” but he didn’t, so he raced to his final opponents. They did the same. He fired two shots at the first brute, it raised its massive fist to block the shots like a shield. They became lodged in the thick chitin unable to spear their target through. Evan blindly tried to reach for new arrows from his quiver but found it empty, his last arrows spend he reached the beast. He leaped to its massive still raised arm, freed an arrow from its hide and notched it one final time aiming for the beast’s head. At such close range the massive changeling drone was too big to maneuver itself away in time, taking the projectile straight through his skull. He fell limp to the ground.

The second came right at Evan lifting him off the ground in its giant arms. Crushing and squeezing its captive without relent, ‘He doesn’t want me to be able to use my speed and agility against him. Clever girl.’ Evan struggled and thrashed in its herculean grip but to no avail, unable to free himself he fumbled his arms below him trying to find something to help him get out. Finally, his hand came to his lato, pulling it from his thigh and angling it awkwardly, he emptied the clip into the creature’s rib cage. It fell much like his brother, wheezing its last breath into a puddle of its own blood.

Crouched and catching his breath, Evan turned to the bug queen just in time to see an emerald blast heading right for him. Unwilling to get knocked out on his ass like last time he swiftly raised his skana just in time to deflect the arcane energies and maintain his footing.

The queen was visibly taken aback at this but none the less pressed her attack increasing the strength of the beam, letting loose her full power to slay this one single opponent. Evan pressed his attack as well, crawling up the beam to energy his blade still working overtime to disperse the attack, advancing like a salmon swimming upstream. To the ponies watching from afar it may have looked hopeless, even suicidal, but Evan was buying time. Though the aura mod worked slowly, it was surely building back up his energy reserves, now just crawling to the fifty energy he needed to finish this.

He cast his radial blind almost point blank into the changeling queen’s eyes. She staggered and he struck her with the butt of his blade sending the kingdom-less shapeshifter to the ground. Grabbing hold of her twisted horn he channeled the last of his energies into his skana once more positioning the blade at the protrusions base. “w-w-wh-what are you?...” she managed to croak through bleary eyes and exhausted mana reserves.

Then by some miracle the broken pieces in Evans neck united just enough for him to croak out a response. His voice came out deep, determined, only just mechanical enough to remind the listener that the speaker was far from human. “I am a Tenno… Excalibur.”

With that he cut the horn from her head, a fate worse than death for a magic caster. His defenseless quarry in tow, he noticed Twilight in the door frame. As he passed, he handed her the misshapen horn, Ordis helpfully popping up to convey his words.

“The operator would like you to know he left this one alive.” He chirped passive aggressively.

***

Twilight swore she heard the bitchy little box chirp something at her, but she failed to take in its words. The filly just stared in horror at the destruction before her. Bodies littered the ground in all manner of misshapen states. The blood from their broken bodies mixing in the storm drains to be cast off from the Canterlot disc by the cities drainage system. Her scientific mind realing at the implications of what the warrior had said, “A Tenno” “A” there were more of him. things like him that could stand alone against an entire army and prevail. Twilight gripped the severed changeling horn in her hand, massaging the base of her own absent mindedly as she wondered “…what in Tartarus have we unleashed?”

Author's Note:

Well. This was a ride. basically doubled the word count in one go with this puppy. I knew that going into this the last chapter was going to have the most action, i just didn't think it would take me this long to get through it all.
All that remains now is the epilogue and then a post-script blog on the whole experience of writing this thing. my first story ever.
Till then thank you all for reading, favorite-ing, and liking, i never expected this much support, whether i improve or not after this only you can judge.