Proluge: Twilight has a sleepover
The last time Twilight had had a sleepover with Applejack and Rarity, it didn't go as planned. So, 2 weeks later, she is planning a sleepover with all her friends.
*beep* *beep* *beep* "hello?" asked the pony on the other end, in this case, Applejack. "Hi, Applejack!" answered Twilight. "Oh, howdy! how ya goin?" "Good, Applejack. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to my house for a sleepover with the rest of us?" "Sure, Twilight! I'll be happy to come! Uh, do Ya'll just mind if i bring Applebloom? She doesn't have anywhere to go tonight. Big Macs busy harvesting, and Granny Smith has gone to vist her cousin in Appleloosa. " "Sure, that will be fine! how's tonight at 6?" "Thats just fine! see ya'll there!" *boop* *boop* *boop*
*beep* *beep* *beep* "h-hello?" answered Fluttershy. "Hi, Fluttershy!" answered Twilight. "Oh, hi, Twilight. Did you need anything?" "I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to sleep over with the others at 6:00 tonight!" "Oh, that will be wonderful! I'll be sure to show up! See you there!" "Bye!" *boop* *boop* *boop* "woohoo!"
*beep* *beep* *beep* "Hello, this is the carousal boutique, how may I help you?" answered Rarity. "Hi Rarity!" responded Twilight. "Oh hi, darling! Is there a occasion which you need a dress for?" "Actually, no. I wanted to know if you wanted to come for a sleepover with the rest of us!" "Why, that would be fantastic! What time! "At 6:00 tonight!" Said Twilight. "That'll be fine." said Rarity. "But do you mind if I bring Sweetie Belle with me? She doesn't have anywhere to stay tonight." "Thats fine, Rarity. I'll meet you both here! Bye!" "Bye!" *boop* *boop* *boop*
*beep* *beep* *beep* "Hello?" said Rainbow Dash. "Hi, rainbow dash." answered Twilight. "Oh, hey Twi! Whats hangin?" " I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to my house for a sleepover with everyone else tonight!" "Sure thing Twilight! What times it though?" "6:00 tonight." "Sure, i'll be there!" "Perfect! See you tonight!" "see ya!" *boop* *boop* *boop*
*beep* *beep* *beep* "Hello?" Answered Pinkie Pie" "HI Pinkie Pie!" said twilight "Oh, hi, Twilight! What news have you got? You always have lots of news *gasp* is a new pony in town?" "Pinkie, stop for a sec!" said Twilight, giggling. "I want to know if you wanted to come for a sleepover with the rest of the gang tonight?" "*gaaaasp* Sure! It will be super duper fun! It will be so fun i just know it! See you there, Twi!" *boop* *boop* *boop*
"Well, thats everyone." Said Twilight. "Now, i just have to get prepared. But then she thought about something. She realized that the Cutie Mark crusaders were coming, so she might as well ask Scootaloo as well! She knew that she lived a a hotel which was kind enough to let her in, so she rung her.
*beep* *beep* *beep* "Hello?" asked Scootaloo. "Hi, Twilight! Was there anything you wanted?" I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to my house for a sleepover tonight. The rest of the Cutie mark crusaders are coming, so i thought i might ask you!" "Oh, thanks! And sure i'll come! when is it?" "6:00 tonight." "Ok, see you there, Twilight!" "bye!!" *boop* *boop* *boop*
Twilight put the phone down. "Well, thats everyone. Now i just have to get everything set. Spike?" Twilight called, and he came down right away. "Yes?" "Can you help me get set up for the sleepover?" "sure thing!" "Ok, great! This will be the best sleepover ever!
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First chapter
I hope you enjoy the fic 
1072469I'll try!
Too short in between dialogue changes.
A well written opening. I've only seen one spelling error so far. keep it up.
Well written, but PLEASE use a script format when writing dialogue!!!
It makes things far easier to read enjoy
But otherwise you have a like, favorite, and a watch my good sir.
vist should be visit, Is there a occasion should be Is there an occasion, i'll should be I'll, HI should be Hi, "Now, i just have to get prepared. You forgot to close dialogue, i should be I, "sure thing!" should be "Sure thing!", and at the end, you forgot to close the dialogue again. Also, this seems like a great idea for a story, I've been wanting something like The Mane 6 Plays... for a while.