• Member Since 21st Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

XombieSlayr


Crazy people don't know they're crazy. I know I'm crazy, therefore I am NOT crazy. Isn't that crazy?

T

A beautiful young heiress disappears from her suite in a luxury hotel.

Psychic detective, Shai Sideways is tasked by the police and the worried parents to find their missing daughter. This is not the first time someone has gone missing in this hotel.

But this time someone ends up dead.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 9 )

I like your way of keeping the reader engaged by using different vocabulary, action tags and a lot of 'showing' instead of simply 'telling'.
However I myself am not a fan of Mary Sue characters and your depiction of Shai is exactly that. So I'll stop reading here but gotta admit it's nice work you did :raritywink:

edit: I read the story entirely now and it is definitely worth reading. I was too rash to call her a Mary Sue which is not how the story plays out.

9741211
I appreciate that. However, I would kindly ask that you give it another chance. As the story hasn't even really begun yet, and Shai is no Mary Sue (in my opinion, I'm probably wrong.). Let me explain.

She's very arrogant, she can be rude, abrasive, she can become angry, she doesn't care about being the nice guy and will go to any lengths to see that the truth is revealed, like a detective would. She isn't flawless, and she does need help to solve this case; she doesn't just read the killer's mind and immediately know he did it; there are limits to her abilities, and even if she does get help using her powers, they only hint at things, not really revealing why a person can't be trusted, or why she needs to go somewhere. She's a very good detective, and she's skilled at using her abilities. But she isn't invincible or all-knowing. She needs to examine crime scenes, deduce based on clues and things she finds, and come to a conclusion that allows the story to move forward and the case to continue.

My apologies for the long-winded speech just now; it's just that I worked really hard on this, I wanted to see what would happen if I combined the adventure, comedy and mystery of Poppy's with the mystery and intrigue of Morning Meir Mysteries.

This is what I came up with. I love it, I think it turned out perfectly; and everyone is free to have their own opinion. I am glad you enjoyed the way I wrote it, but I really would like you to stay on at least till the story is over before you judge it and Shai's character. But that is again my opinion.

And I thank you for sharing yours.

9741262
Alright thanks for your time explaining! I'm no man of large speeches myself so I'll cut to the point :D
I'm gonna read on and check it out entirely. Your style of writing makes it easy to stay engaged and after all I probably learn some story-telling-techniques from you so it'll be worth it.
Gonna drop another comment under the last chapter once I'm finished. Cya there ^^

Definitely worth reading! Great case, sweet captivating writing style and the large pride Shai takes in her work make up for some good laughs. Thanks for the story and apologies for my wrong accusation of a Mary Sue after judging by only the first chapter.

9742644
I'm very happy that you enjoyed it, and thank you for sticking around for it!

As well, thank you for following! Please feel free to check out some of the other stories I've worked on should you have interest. I recommend Poppy's Delivery Service as it blends together comedy, adventure, and mystery nearly flawlessly, and it's easily my best series to date.

I am also in fact working on another Shai Sideways story as we speak; though I have no real idea when I'll be finished, I would like to say by next week.

If you wish, I can message you a full summary of the series and what it will entail, just so you know what to expect from Shai as a series.

Thank you again for the kind words, and if you have any questions please feel free to let me know. I'm almost always online, and will get back to you as soon as possible.

Until then, have a fantastic day! :pinkiesmile:

Comment posted by Ri2 deleted Jul 22nd, 2019
Comment posted by XombieSlayr deleted Jul 22nd, 2019
Comment posted by Ri2 deleted Jul 22nd, 2019
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