CrypticMetaphor
Joined 6th Mar, 2012 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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No comments yet
9733271
I'm too lazy to write comments and I'm too lazy to explain why I'm too lazy to write comments, but overall fun story to read.👍
Sequel?
Fun read.
The open-ended bit leaves good space for something else in the future.
9733872
Thankie kindly! I left it opened ended so other peeps could make there own installments/sequels/spin-offs. Mostly cause I'd love to read what could be made.
9733464
As I said, I'd love to see others make their own installments, hence the open ended ending. I MIGHT make a proper one, not sure though.
Honestly while it was pretty nice and well written, I feel like there's so much more potential to this really interesting premise. I feel like the whole heat thing was a huge let down (that, herds, and other such weird fanon stuff always makes me roll my eyes), and unnecessary. You have her basically experience a new dimension and gaining all new sensations, and I feel like the pacing would have been infinitely better if she had started by asking for him to possibly hold and rub her hoof or leg or scratch an ear or something, and then slowly move from there. Using the whole heat thing and just having her jump immediately to sex was honestly a big let down.
So, basically, I like the premise and I enjoy how well written the story was, but I feel like you could do so much more with this idea.
9736420
To clear things up though, it wasn’t heat. It was just due to some naughty thoughts, not having any action (dry spell), as well as all the new sensations.
I appreciate the feedback and I’m glad you liked it, just wanted to clear that up.
9736599
While that does help with the whole heat fanon thing, it kind of doesn't do much for the whole pacing bit. Hence saying it'd feel more natural pacing-wise to advance from one thing to another instead of going from a 1 to a 15 in about a second.
Still though, I appreciate the kind and helpful response. And no problem at all; I always try to give feedback when a story catches my interest.
9736827
Yeeeah, sometimes I get pacing and I suppose in this case, I I didn’t
I would love to see sequel....
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/474643182102118401/499382970658979870/Shooting_approved.png
9739874
Well as I've said, I wouldn't mind seeing some others attempt one.
9736949
You're fine. It's tagged clop with a plot, not 'winding epic tale where sex happens in one spot, somewhere over there'. Point is that you set the scene and reasoning, a bit about the characters and their situation, and then sex happens. You did this. Any other complaints are kind of null in the face of that beyond personal preferences.
Oh, I finished this one a while ago, but forgot to leave a comment. My bad.
I liked the interaction between characters. The moment when AJ asked for sex was somewhat rough. Oh, well, I guess we can call it a part of the genre.
Overall it was quite an enjoyable read.
9795298
Thx!
Heh, that was fun. Too bad she didn't fully cross over.
Honestly, I know it sounds weird but want to know what dash does.
Yes, I know I sound Like a pervert but I am curious.
Because theirs a million different things