• Member Since 9th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Stoner Dash


I'm fresh like my groceries

T

Due to an accident, an unicorn miner finds himself in the world of Hoxxes and has to survive a hostile planet filled with aliens. Along with him are 4 dwarven companions who are veterans of the Deep Rock Galactic Corporation.

(Deep Rock Galactic + MLP Crossover)
I am going to rewrite the story as a single chapter, it will of course be much longer than 1.5k words but I feel it will remove the repetitiveness that multiple chapters would bring.

Chapters (0)
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Comments ( 6 )

🍻FOR KAAAAAARL!🍻

Dorf story gets dorf song.


Hey guys! Its my first story so please leave feedback on how I can improve!

For a first attempt, you're not doing too bad. A little telly on the exposition, but that can be worked on. The biggest issue I see is a habit of waffling back and forth betwixt past and present tense. You need to pick one and stick with it, otherwise the narrative feels very choppy.

9730525

The biggest issue I see is a habit of waffling back and forth betwixt past and present tense.

I didn't even realize I was doing that, I'll definitely be working on it! Thank you for your input!

Rock and stone, to the bone.

ROCK AND STONE, TO THE BONE!

Didn't expect a DRG crossover to even exist, much less be good.

The only thing I found weird plot wise is that they didn't notice that the horse is in fact a unicorn.

DRG is set in a high-tech fantasy world and they have at least humans, elves and dwarves. I wonder if in your interpretation of their world unicorns exist as is or in legends, or are a full unknown?

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