I write well when I am brave enough to speak my mind. Soy milk fund
Quibble Pants just wasn't cut out for fatherhood. But now his relationship with Clear Sky is getting serious, he really hopes he can hit it off with her daughter Wind Sprint. But it's much more complicated than just a game of buckball.
This is a alternating POV story featuring Quibble Pants and Wind Sprint.
Somewhat related to the events in the episode Common Ground, but you don't have to have watched the episode to understand what's going on. Minimal spoilers.
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Ironic considering the real life situation with the three of them. Upvoted.
I can see that as a legitimate thing to not like about somepony's parents
. I'd probably feel the same way if I was in her position
.
This was a cute one shot...pretty dramatic nearing the end, but cute and sweet all the same
.
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Thanks so much!
You can call me stupid
, but I gotta ask...what "real life situation," and why is it ironic?
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Quibble's and Wind's voice actors are real life father and daughter. Clear Sky's actress is in fact the step parent.
Show messed with that. I doubt it was like the show in real life though.
My heart...
This is too adorable, take all these likes my good man!
This is so adorable and heartfelt. Even moreso when you consider the real life situation behind the characters voices.
So much better wind sprint best filly confirm
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Not only that but Patton Oswalt’s first wife died like four or five years ago.
i would say my favorite section here was the beginning one, though maybe that's because it had Twilight Sparkle in it? Clear Sky finding the similarity between her and Twilight "eerie" and Wind Sprint not understanding that Twilight was letting her win the impromptu race back home were just delightful.
the thing that felt a bit off to me was that there didn't feel like there was enough daylight between Quibble Pants's voice and Wind Sprint's here. there's some leeway for him being an adult nerd in arrested development, but this arc felt more suited to a character becoming an older step-brother rather than a step-dad, if that makes sense. but maybe all it needs are things to make Quibble Pants feel more uniquely Quibble Pants?
but i do like this Wind Sprint, and her obsession with numbers fits perfectly with her finding buckball statistics interesting. the mane-tousling at the end being a callback to Wind Sprint's bond with her mom in the restaurant scene was a nice touch!
For the Comment Club round and since you mentioned "your feedback is appreciated" in your author's notes, so I assume this is welcome. If not, just let me know.
(https://www.fimfiction.net/group/215930/comment-club/thread/486333/luna-slate-x-comment-period-2021-dec-23-30):
Hilarious.
Also hilarious.
Amusing understatement at the mismatch of a solution to the underlying problem.
Woah!
"Great"... it explains well why the other foals have issues with her.
Wind Sprint's childish "voice" reads very realistic. Thematically, I love the early signaling of first impressions not being the ultimate truths via the line about Twilight: "Mom thinks we look eerily alike, but we are so not alike.", which is true as far as her conclusions about Twilight go but not so true as far as her initial conclusions about Quibble Pants' suitability as a stand-in father. Quibble Pants' "voice" also works. I enjoyed this story' predictable arc of growing acceptance. The story's ambition appears to be confined to an optimistic microscope, and it does that microscope well. Thank you for writing!
Quibbles:
Either end the sentence with tournament or restructure. If this had been Wind Sprint this would be fine but I suspect Quibble Pants would word things differently. To be fair though, he mentioned that Ponish grammar isn't his thing, so maybe the word choice was intentional.
I really wanted to read this one. Considering I know a little bit of the backstory that went into ‘Common Ground’, I’ve been fascinated by Quibble’s and Wind Sprint’s tense relationships. While Quibble is trying to be a good friend (I’ve would’ve put ‘father figure’, but that’s a little on the nose― ‘friendship’ suffices), he is unsure of how to go about it. Wind Sprint, obviously hesitant, puts off a shell of ‘don’t bother me’ while being critical of every inconvenience that comes as an effect of Quibble’s and Clear’s relationship:
I also like the quirks you put in for Wind Sprint, such as being health-conscious:
I especially like the quirk with the hot sauce. Wind Sprint likes to play tough. Not only that, but convincing Quibble to take a bite is a perfect interaction. It shows a teensy bit of passive-aggression while acting as a bit of warming up to Quibble. Sharing food is an act of friendship, challenging each other with spicy food is an act of rivalry, while getting a mango lassi to calm the spiciness is an act of compassion.
Love this scene. Can’t express that enough. You’ve managed to make me hungry too!
Lastly, the resolve. Opportunity rises for both Quibble and Wind to bond while taking a walk in the park. I must say, it must’ve took some guts for Quibble to yell at Wind Sprint. Considering how insecure he is about Clear Sky not wanting to be with him, he definitely would’ve considered how Clear would feel about him yelling at Wind Sprint. Just something I’ve had the thought of. In the end though, he shows how much he cares by fetching the medal from the dirty lake.
Leading to the slip up:
Perfect way to finalize it!
There is just one slight issue I have with the scene “What I Don’t Like About Dad”. I know Wind Sprint is grateful, and this serves as a final stretch for the two of them to reach some type of semblance of ‘father-daughter’ relationship, however, it seems incomplete. It is healthy to recognize that the people you admire are imperfect. It is also healthy to recognize that the people you don’t get along with are trying their best. I think the scene is trying to accomplish that, but is teetering on the border of comparing the two against each other, which is unhealthy.
Nothing terribly wrong with the scene, just needs a little more of ‘Dad is imperfect, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him.’
That aside, I love the resolve at the end where Wind Sprint, warmed up enough to Quibble, wants him to be her dad. While, still being her usual stubborn self:
Well done!
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I'm both shocked and pleasantly surprised that one of my earliest Fimfic stories has been receiving so much attention. Thank y'all for the feedback and praise!
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i think you mean "Quibble Pants:"
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The word choice decision to utilize "Quibbles" was, of course, intentional.
Of course, "this is something that only a true fan can appreciate."