Fallen Order

by Jar Man

Fools trust

I couldn't fucking believe it. It shoulding be possible for him to be here, I knew stealing that donut from church was a bad idea.

"Fuck man what are we gonna do!? Kalameet isn't gonna be too happy about seeing us again after we fuckng shot the dude out of the sky" Colin whined.

I shrugged and leaned against the wall. "Fuck it we'll beat his ass too"

Twilight raised her hand to get our attention. "How do you three know him?"

"We shot the mother fucker and he just like poofed out of sight and some how ended up here I guess" Colin said nonchalantly.

"So you're the ones responsible for his injury?" Apple Jack asked.

I twirled my hands in a 'eh' manner. "Well it was more of a blind dudes fault but we helped" I explained.

Twilight opened her mouth to speak but gave up on understanding our retarded powers. One of my ponies ran up to us before handing me a letter.

"Sir! We have received a report of small squad of Dragons heading our way"

"Scouting team?"

He shook his head. "No sir it seems like a royal guard accompaning a rather large Dragon"

"Alright get the riflemen ready in case they try to attack" I ordered. He saluted and sped off towards the tree line where the riflemen were. "Well boys it seems we have to kill Kalameet for The second time so lets make it quick yeah?"

Colin shrugged and stood up.
"Fuck it I'm in"

"Yeah I have nothing else to do" Kelso aside after him.

We grabbed our things and we're about to walk out to the field but a sharp pain shot through my left eye and my head. I clutched my helmet as the pain flared like fire over my face. Like the other times visions flashed in my mind but this time I wasn't the one killing everyone it was Celestia standing on top of a mountain of bodies with my impaled by a stake. Another image flashed and we were standing on a mountain where a giant white light was above Equestria, there were black Crystals everywhere along with dead ponies, Griffins, and dragons scattered across the field. Celestia then brought down the white orb destroying everything.

The pain stopped and I sat on the ground heavily breathing. It felt like a dream but so real at the same time. I reached up and touched my helmet and black liquid coated my hand.

Colin pulled me to my feet and put a hand on my back. "Dude We gotta get that eye fixed it's been fucking you up since day one"

"It's fine....I just need some sleep is all it's been a busy week"

"Bro every time your eye acts up black tears or ooze falls down your face and causes so much pain"

"I'll be fine I promise" I lied the pain fucking sucked donkey dick.

Colin sighed shaking his head, I stood up and we continued walking to the field. I felt weird when I thought about that moment where I was on a mountain and Celestia brought down a fucking nuke onto Equestria, it felt as thought I've seen it before but also haven't. I would ask Luna about it later when this whole ordeal is over.

We waited at the field and the dragons landed a few yards away. In the middle was the fucker himself, Kalameet looked a bit different with looking more anthro than Dragon just like the others. I tightend my grip on my sword and stood in front of the girls.

"Never thought I would see you three again" He growled.

"Yeah the feelings mutual" I replied. "Now what the fuck do you want?"

"You may think this is about the trade but that was a ploy to get your attention, I wished to speak with you in private" He gestured away frim the others and I reluctantly followed him about a football field away from everyone.

"Then why not just hit me up like 'Hey lets fucking chat' I mean I would have been down imsrwad of all this bullshit" I waved my arm around at the readied troops.

"That was to distract the princess from my real goal," He reached into his pouch and pulled out a yellow folder. "The princess you think you know isn't who she says she is"

I grabbed it from his claws and opened it, the folder had a few notes in Celestias past during the 1000 years of Lunas banishment. I read the larts where she worked on a secret project that she planned on using if some fucking defcon 1 shit were to happen but it had no name. It also says she has been rumored to have been using dark magic so evil not even Tirek could wield it. I scoffed and looked up at Kalameet.

"What the hell kind if bullshit is this your not some diplomatic fucking spy your a dragon of the abyss"

"Was the Dragon of the abyss, when I arrived here after my death I could feel no more pain from the darkness that held my heart" He out a claw over his chest and where the abyss was it was no longer there.

"So like...I don't have to fight you?" I asked kicking a pebble.

"Well that all depends on you chosen undead, you and the Warriors of Sunlight are not the only ones being used in this plot"

I raised an eyebrow and looked bsck at the others who looked eager to kick ass. "You know I kinda expected us to like epicly fight and shit but if your not hear to conquer or corrupted by the abyss then I guess I can just peace out back to Sol and wait for something to happen"

Kalameet smiled and looked up to the sky. "It would seem some great power has blessed us both to not cross paths"

I pursed my lips and cocked am eyebrow. "How do I know I can trust you to not fuck me over sideways causing me to commit a mass genocide?"

"The abyss as you know is a horrible thing that can turn even the mightiest heroes into evil God's, I am no longer under it's control, I can not make you trust me but I hope you will uncover the ture darkness that hilds this place" He lowered his head.

"Okay dude I'm still confused, first you show up here making everyone think you want to attack but you actually don't and you have a folder with possibly fake information," I shook my head trying to understand. "Not to be a dick man but that all seems fucking weird"

He stared at me for a second and I felt a little weird then my head flarwd in pain again. I pulled off my helmet and knelt over, no images this time just red vision and pain. My eye felt like it was going to explode and my head was buring like I was in hell itself. A ha-er claw touched my shoulder and I didn't bother with it as the pain finally stopped and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Your eye...."

"Yeah what about it?"

"Its like the one I had before. I would get terrible visions and would be in constant pain"

"Are you trying to say I'm being taken by the abyss?" I asked dreadfully.

He scratched his chin and hummed. "It might be the work of the abyss or something darker but either way you must find a way to get rid of it lest you be devoured by it and become a creature of darkness" He puffed out some smoke.

"Yeah...I'll work on that" I stood up turned around and stsrted walking back but then stopped and looked at the folder he gave me. If what he says is true then I'm gonna have a long talk with Sunbutt.

Colin and Kelso met me half way and Colin spoke first. "Dude what's going on did he say he was gonna attack?"

"Nien, he's no longer corrupted by the abyss and was bullshiting about the trade thing...but I'm sure the zebras are still gonna be a problem" I looked over to the gjrls making sure they couldn't hear us.

"What's that?" Kelso pointed at the folder.

I pulled them closer and whispered. "Nothing important but we need to find a way to get rid of my eye before it fucks me over"

Colin crossed his arms. "Well I've been saying that for month's man"

"Yeah but that was the nightmares and shit, my eye is from the gate of Tarturis and inside was black ooze and shit right?" They nodded. "I think It might be the abyss taking over"

Kelso looked like he was gonna puke. "On Allah?"

I nodded. "Yeah and Kalameet over there thinks it could take over and fuck me up if we don't fix it"

"Well how the hell are we gonna fix your dark scary eyeball?"Colin asks as I start messing with my face.

"I don't fucking know just like uh....fuck it lets stab it out" I pulled out a knife.

"WHAT!?" They screamed in unison before pulling the knife away.

"Dude this isn't fucking dead space where you just poke your eye and boom it's fixed!" Kelso says as I stop grabbing at the knife.

"Damnit" I sighed in defeat. They pulled me up and Kalameet approached us.

"We do not plan to attack you or your Warriors of Sunlight nor Equestria but I cannot say the same for the Zebras"

Kelso slouched on the ground crossed his arms. "Damn I really wanted to kick some Dragon ass"

"We still could but we'd be war criminals" Colin mentioned.

"A small price to pay for salvation" I say looking off in the distance for better effects.

"I think it would be best if we left now" Kalameet says nodding towards the girls who were approaching.

"Just know if you try shit we'll come for you" I said as he and his guards flew off.

I stuffed the folder into my chestplate and walked to the girls. I still don't understand all this but I now have a new problem that could mean the end for me.

"So what did he want?" Asked Twilight.

"Nothing"I simply said.

"The big o'l dragon wanted nothin? That's strange"

"Yeah...look me and the boys are gonna head back to Sol and just incase they are trying to fuck us over I'll leave my guys here"

"Why don't we go with you?" Rainbow Offered.

"No," I said quickly. "uh it's a private matter that only concerns the council" I nodded to the guys and marched off to Sol picking Lucky up on my way.

(Sol)

"Alright so we got two fucking problems my dudes" I pulled out the floder and took off my helmet.

"Wait why am I here?" Lucky asked.

"Hey Lucky congrats your on the council" I made a cross gesture at her. "now back to the matter at hand, Kalameet claims Celestia is some evil Palpatine using us for her bindings aaaand I could be corrupted by the abyss"

"Wait so you could be corrupted by evil AND Celestia might be evil?" Stone Wall asked in disbelief. "What makes you so sure?"

I nodded to the folder. "Read the file and you tell me what you think. Me personally I think that's some shady shit and the weirdest part is in the file it talks about a contingency plan used if shit hits the fan hard" I remembered the vision of that moment on the mountain. "I think my vision predicted it or something cause it described it like how the file did sorta"

"She's a powerful Alicorn that's for sure but how do we know if what he says is true?" Asked Stone Wall.

"Well we could do a SEAL team 6 and break into the fort Knox archives that are only opened to the princesses" I said looking at everyoje for approval.

Luckys jaw dropped in shock. "We'll be put in Tarturis for that!"

"Sounds like a you problem" Kelso snorted.

"A me problem?! This is an US problem" She grabbed him and shook him.

"Don't be a pussy we're gonna be fine" I assured. I actually didn't know if we'd make it back but oh well.

Stone Wall was next to speak. "How are we gonna get in there then?"

"Well if luck is on our side the sewer system could lead to it" I said. I never liked sewers cause I was scared of another homeless guy getting me.

"And if not?"

I looked at the airships outside. "We can use the dark sky as our cover and go in via roof although there would be guards we can knock them out with cloriform" I pulled out a bottle of it and placed it on the table.

"Dude..." Colin deadpanned.

"Yeah?"

"Why the fuck do you have chloroform on you?"

I smiled and put the bottle back in my pouch. "I never leave home without it"

"So you just carry a bottle of chloroform everywhere?"

"You never know when you need to knock a bitch out"

Colin sighed heavily and stood up. "Let's just go before I blow my brains out"

(Next day/night)

"Explain to me again why your trusting the word of a Dragons whom you said was once corrupted by evil" Lucky said.

I groaned. "I've had a vision that the folder sorta described so I might as well check it out"

"Why not just ask Celestia about it?"

I chuckled at that. "Yeah like she'll admit to being evil this isn't some 007 shit," we arrived at the sewer that looked unused in decades. "Okay we're here"

I pulled open the grated door and climbed inside. There was no smell of shit or piss so this must be something other than a sewer.

"This thing hasn't been used in a long ass time" I commented.

"Smells like a cave instead of a sewer" Lucky said lifting up her face plate.

She was right too, we walked down the dark dim tunnel using a map of Canterlots system. It was only me amd Lucky while the others took the roof seeing as if one of couldn't get in the other had a better chance. After a few lefts and rights and a lot of downs we found a metal door.

"Hopefully it's not a drug cartel or Satanist inside" I say before tugging on the door. It was locked and didn't show any sign of budging. "Well damn"

"Sir I think you have to-" Lucky was about to say something but I pulled out my Zweihander.

"No don't worry I got this maybe if I..." I jammed my sword into the crack and tried to bend it open. The blade slipped out and I fell to the ground.

Lucky covered her mouth to stop from laughing. "Sir there's a little box here with letters" She pointed to it and I felt stupid afterwards.

"I knew that..."

I stood up and walked to the box and it was in ABC order. I hummed to myself thinking what could a Celestial princess would think of as her password. One word came to mind and it was pretty obvious and if I was correct I would never let her live it down. I typed in 'Cake' and the door unlocked.

"Well Shit" Lucky exclaimed.

"Lucky!" I turned around. "You shouldn't buse such foul language"

"After being around you for a while I learned a few things" She smirked.

"And my dad said I would inspire others" I mumbled to my self.

We went inside and luckily no cultist or druggies were here. A set of stairs led up a dark path that seemed real fucking creepy. I stared into the darkness and felt like something was staring right back at me.

Author's Note: https://music.

"We often don't realize that staring into the darkness that there is always somehing looking back at you even if you can't see it"