Fallen Order

by Jar Man

Nobles, an Undead and a Princess

"The princess wants me to what?"

"Princess Celestia asked for you to go to the day court and speak with the nobles about Klugetown and why they should get off her back about it" Twilight explained dragging me to the train station.

"Lady you do know it's a really high chance I'll just kill them all right?" I asked.

"Yep"

She bought the tickets then led me to the fancy looking cart and we sat inside. I wasn't onboard with this shit at all but when do I ever get a choice am I right?.

"Why can't princess Luna tell them to piss off?" I whined.

"Cause its not her soldiers that protect Klugetown its yours"

I raised my finger at that. "Well technically its Colins"

She rolled her eyes and leaned against me as we left the station.

(Canterlot)

We stood infront of the court doors hearing yelling inside from multiple voices. I could already tell it was honna be a long day.

"We better get going then huh?" I asked Twilight.

She nodded and we walked through the dokrs getting silence for once from the bitching nobles. They all looked at me in disgust which wasn't surprising and I didnt give a fuck. I found the chair with the name 'Undead freak' on it and chuckled aylt their attempt to insult me.

"It's about time you showed up creature" one of the nobles insulted.

I sigjed and sat down. "Spare me your bitching and give your balls a tug you fucking tit fucker"

The noble in the cemter of The room cleared his throat. "Well now that we are all here we can discuss the issue at hand"

"I'm not removing my guys from Klugetown so you can go fuck yourself" I said right off the bat.

The noble I tried to drown stood uo and pointed at me. "Don't you know that we can declare your cult a terror organization. You ain't even last a day against the solar gaurd" he snarled.

"All I need is a day" I smirked.

"Mr Reagan other nations are concerned that the Warriors of Sunlight will ruin trade with each other"

"I really don't see how that's my problem the guys iver there asked for protection nothing more and in return we'd get supplies so if the other nations have a problem with their shit being protected they suck a dick"

"Well I for one think its a good idea that the city is being protected by a force that faced down the demons of Tarturis and came out on top" A noble commented. He was a blue unicorn with white hair and a green suit.

"Well the Minitaurs and the zebras don't appreciate it and threaten to leave the alliance!" The noble I tried to drown stammered.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back. "Then fucking let them I mean shit dude they want to be fucking bitches then let them and if they attack I will personally kill them myself with my bare hands" I rasied up my hands and made a fist.

"You think you can take on the Dragon Lord with your hands?" A noble asked obviously showing doubt.

"No I think I can him on blind folded I KNOW I can take him with my hands" I replied.

She seemed to not understand the powers my white ass held. "You show not a care in the world about how powerful he is do you?"

I waved her question off. "Fuck how powerful he is me and the boys just wanna stack bodies"

"You have a lust for violence. Why should we not deem you a threat?" One of them asked.

I just shrugged. "I mean I won't stop you but just know the princesses won't like it"

I was confident that the sisters and Twilight would back me and the boys up rather than these pint sized cucks.

The mare frowned at that and scoffed. "Yeah as if we need their approval creature we are well capable of handling the country"

This caught my attention as I was more than willing to kick some rebel ass. "So you plan on over throwing the princesses?" I asked leaning forward. Twilight was confused on the whole ordeal but stayed silent.

The noble started sputtering words now. "W-Well no we j-just know we could do better" she sheepishly smiled.

"Look man I don't care, you can try to over throw them all you want but if she asks for our help just know if you try and run we'll find you and preform the blood eagle ritual" I was serious about the ritual too if any of the three princesses needed our help you can bet your ass we'll be there to save the day.

"W-What's the b-blood eagle r-ritual?" She Asked hesitantly.

I flicked a paper football at her head. "Fuck around and find out"

The nobles went on and on about Klugetown and how its not right that a 'Cult' is so close to their precious cargo like fuck off we're just being payed to protect the city.

"I say let them protect Klugetown their forces are not far off from us, we may have 500,000 soldiers but it only took 2,000 of theirs to hold off Tarturis" The green noble noted.

"We had to focus on defending our home not other countries!" The mare defended.

"Then why hate on the Warriors of Sunlight for making sure trade between nations is safe?" Greenie countered.

"The Dragin lord thinks they may try and steal making us look bad"

I snorted at that. "Your shit isn't worth stealing even if we would steal. No offence...wait I don't give a fuck, I have a deal with Scrapple to protect y'alls shit in the city and I'm return he'd send us small supplies my advisor would order" I explained.

2 hours go by and they are still bitching and moaning. I was half asleep while Twilight died of boredom and used my lap as a pillow. My head was about to lay in the desk but a paper with some words on it stopped me. I picked it up and read over it, it's requesting me to basically remove my guys from Klugetown. I looked at the nobles who all looked eager for me to sign it so I did what any other reasonable person would do I tore it up and let it fall to the floor.

The nobles stared in shock at the little pieces fell to the floor and I leaned back in my chair. No one said anything so I decided to peace the fuck out, I woke Twilight up and threw her over my shoulder then walked out of the room.

"I'm never going to one of those again the princess can eat my ass" I said as we walked down the stairs.

"Let's go back to my castle, I have a place we can hang out" Twilight mumbled over my shoulder.

(Twilights castle)

I was laying across the bed while Twilight laid next to me. It felt like forever since we left that God forsaken chamber with those nobles it's hard to believe Celestia puts up with that shit and somehow looks happy as can be. I would have probably tore my own head off if it was any longer.

"Can I ask you something?" Twilight asked turing to face me.

"Yeah what's up?"

She put her hand in my chestplate and tapped on it lightly. "Would you like to uhh...go somewhere next week?"

I looked at her. "Where to?"

"There's a restaurant up in Manehatten that rarity said is 'simply divine' so I was womdering if you wanted to go" She mumbled the last part quietly bit I could still hear her.

"Heck yeah let's do it" I said patting her head. She looked up at me and smiled before hugging me.

(Sol, 3 days later)

I was polishing my armor when Kelso busted down my door.

"Yo some fucking dragon dudes are here" He yelled.

I stopped amd looked at him. "Is it one of ours?"

He shook his head. "Nien it's some black Dragon and a red one from the dragon kingdom"

I sighed knowing why their here. "Alright I'll go see what they want" I got up and put on my armor then followed Kelso to the front.

Outside stood a pretty tall Dragon with black scales and a smaller red one that I could probably crush with my fingers. I brought my sword so if they wanted become my next meal I'd be ready.

"I don't care who the IRS sends I'm not paying taxes!" I said confusing them.

"Who?" The black dragon asked.

I rolled my eyes."What the hell do you want I'm busy?"

The red one stepped up and held out a banner."We are come with a message from the Dragon lord himself"

"Oh?"I acted surprised. "Oh my I did not know it was him please for give me"

The drake smirked. "That's better now-

"Just kidding I dont give a fuck your Dragon lord can suck a dick and if hes got a fucking problem he can come say it to my face then again he's problaby getting ass fucked right now" I inturuped. They looked at me like I just killed their dog.

"If you insult the Dragon Lord again I will see that your whole army bows down to his will" The black dragon growled.

The others over heard him and walked over to us some with weapons. The dragons looked around and backed up before spotting Dotharam.

"You..." The black one pointed at him. "You're a coward for leaving your post, I always knew you would betray father!" He started to approach Dotharam but I stepped in his way.

"Unless you want to have an early meeting with God I recommend you go back to your Goddamn hole and If you ever set foot in Equestria we will hunt you down and slaughter your kingdom while you watch" I gripped my sword tighter waiting for him to strike but he backed off.

They didn't say another word and flew off back to their little holes. I walked over to Dotharam and put a hand on his shoulder. I would ask about his past later as he looked pissed off about the whole thing. I sent a letter to Klugetown warning them of a potential threat from Dragons and to keep their heads on a fucking swivel. I pulled out my Crystal and contacted Luna.

"Hello Kobe how are you this fine day?"She chirped.

"Just peachy two dragons from the Dragon place or whatever came by and I'm pretty sure they are pissed off" I said calmly.

"Please don't tell me you killed them" She Asked in a pleading voice

I gasped at such accusations."What kind if man do you take me for? I just told them to fuck off and their Dragon Lord can suck a dick"

"Why am I not surprised"she deadpaned

I smiled at that. "Yeah, so how's Sunbutt?"

"My sister is doing fine, doctors say she'll be able to get out and about soon" She said.

"Oh that's cool well tell her I said hi and we're probably going to fight dragons later" I hung up and walked back into the castle and to the war room to discuss our plans.

(2 Days later)

Every city was on lockdown across Equestria. The dragons formed an alliance with the Zebras and split off from the rest of us. We watched for any sign of Dragons and Zebras, we knew the difference between ours and theirs since our guys had our colors and armor with face plates. I took an artillery and Infantry platoon with me to Ponyville while Kelso went to Klugetown and Colin to bunker 3234. I got a letter from Aellô saying he would send help if needed which was a blessing in if it self for the enemy so I wouldn't butcher them all.

"Y-You don't think the d-dragons would actually a-attack do you?" Asked a frightened Flutter Shy.

Apple Jack held her in a hug. "Of course not sugar cube we got the guards and the Warriors of Sunlight protecting us"

"Yeah and if they come near us I'll kick their flanks back to their caves!" Rainbow Dash said punching the air.

Pinkie Pie jumped aroumd with her party Canon. "Oooh I can't wait to throw a 'yay we saved Equestria from Dragons and Zebras' party!"

"I want this Dragon lord to face me like a man"

Twilight brought out a book about the dragons and started reading. "Dragon Lord Kalameet was known for being a very-"

"What did you just say?"I cut her off after hearing that name. There was no fucking way that mother fucker was here.

"Dragon Lord Kalameet?"

"Does it breath black fire and have an injured wing?"

"How did you know that?"

"Today just fucking sucks man"

(5 years ago)

"Okay boys let's go beat Kalameet and take his shit!" 13 year old me said into the mic.

"Heck yeah man!" Squeaked Kelso.

We were able to have the giant shoot him down and made our way to Kalameets location. We had to rum past the giant guardians as to not waste time or estus getting to him. We jumped Chester and took his stuff then made it down to the pit Kalameet was supposed to be in.

"Wait where is he?" I asked looking around.

"He was shot down he should be here" Colin said running around to make sure it wasn't a glitch.

I looked up on the forum to see If anyone else had this problem but no one exception us did. I was bummed out cause I was wanting beat some Dragon cheeks but now we couldn't cause there were no dragon cheeks to be taken.

"Well what now?" Colin asked.

I looked around some more before sighing. "I guess we just go fight Manus I guess"

But little did we know a white light had taken Kalameet and he would be waiting for the three of us to find him again.

Author's Note:

Hope yall like the ending to this chapter and want MOAR and the reason is because me and the boys were playing Darksouls and couldn't kind the cunt. It was a bug and it was annoying going through the game again to fight him

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Does this story have sex in it?

[Jar Man]

10050661
PRE-MARITAL SEX?!!?!?! Heck no not until marriage

[Jar Man]

10054572
Don't forget the local crack head stuck in the donation boxes. Such a magnificent place😊

[Jar Man]

10059437
Don't tell him but he's a little retarded😌