Fallen Order

by Jar Man

Marching fire

Kelso and I were carrying weapons and armor over to Twilight who joined us at the castle. She had a duplication spell and I wanted make sure we had enough power to stop Tirek when he comes. I got a letter from Aellô and he said he will send troops as soon as I request them, he said to consider it an act of friendship.

"You know when i agreed to hang out with with y'all I didn't mean help make weapons" Twilight pointed out, I put down the pile of swords and spears. She was able to make different sizes of the Centurion armor i bought from the blacksmith and now they all looked like Romans finest. We spent 3 weeks of training,Stone Wall led the training program for the new recruits.

"Your not making weapons your just helping us expand their use" she rolled her eyes and turned the few swords we had into a lot of swords. I bought 3 thrones for us, mine has a cross with a sun above it, Colins has leaf sinces he's a major weeb and Kelso put a 4 leaf clover on his.

Ajax told us of a trade route he knew where he got the armor for the others for. Celestia and Luna came by earlier and were pleased that we were fixing up the castle, I gave them their thrones we tossed out and Luna chucked hers outside ranting on how uncomfortable they were then left. Pinkie Pie said she'd throw a party when we finished and i was down to party except no drinking cause i have to be a good Christian boy.

All we had left to fix was the big hole in the roof and clear out the dungeons below, Luna gave us a map of every trap. Even though we had it Kelso somehow died falling and I laughed my ass off as he fell. We made sure every one who wasn't undead knew about every trap cause they only had one life. Stone Wall and Colin built barracks for the troops which took a week of nonstop work. There was one time i was peeing in the woods and I heard what sounded like a really REALLY big bear Twilight told me it was probably a ursa major and i remembered how big that fucked was.

The snow was beginning to fall and I went to check the calender I took from the library. It was currently December 3rd my favorite month since it is the jolliest season. I should order some decorations for this place.

"Hey Twilight where can I get Christmas stuff?" I pictured the whole castle in a big winter wonderland.

"What's Christmas?" she asked tilting her head. I turned my head like an owl at her with glowing eyes then rushed up to her shaking her.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT CHRISTMAS?!" I shouted.

She shook her head and tried to shrink into her jacket. I couldn't believe that they never heard of Christmas do they not go to church?. Oh...right other planet, man I should really remember that.

"Christmas is the best holiday known to all it's about spending time with friends and...family while singing songs and eating too many cookies while chugging some nogg amd letting a fat dude come to your house and place gifts under your tree and out candy in your 2003 John Deere stocking" I sat down remissing the times of earth and how I won a huge box of puppy chow during dirty Santa.

"Oh you mean Hearths warming?" Twilight thought I was talking about their inferior holiday when christmas is top tier.

"No it's called Christmas you incel not heart thing" I scoffed. Me and her had an hour long arguement on which ond is better so i wrote a letter to the princess to see if they'd pick the true holiday over whatever they had. Here's their response.

"Dear Kobe and Twilight, it has come to our attention that a dispute has occurred between you two over which holiday is 'superior' and after a long discussion with our advisors, we can all agree that both are very much equal and we hope you can say the same. Your loving friends Celestia and Luna."

"Well, it would seem we are at an impasse we shall continue another time"

"Agreed"

We shook hands and I went outside to see even more snow. I didn't know it was this fast but I wasn't gonna complain I'm gonna make a snow angel. I got up and looked back at my art, it was pretty freaking ugly but oh well. In the distance i could here a group of girls giggling ahead of me.

"Howdy Kobe, enjoying the snow i see" Apple Jack teased.

"Hello girls Twilights inside if you're looking for her" I pointing my thumb back at the castle.

"Ooh Ohh want to build a snow pony?" Pinkie Pie began to roll a ball of snow. She moved so fast the snow man was built in 2 minutes. Me,Pinkie Pie and Flutter Shy stayed outside while the others went in.

I decided since Christmas is still a ways out there, I should still think about gifts so i don't forget.

"Hey girls what would y'all like for Christmas?" They looked at me in confusion. "Hearths Warming you bagels"

"Oooh" they said in unison. Pinkie Pie explained that I needed to get something for my 'special somepony'. I didn't understand what that meant but I didn't care I was gonna celebrate Christmas the way I want.

After spending a few more minutes in the snow we went inside the castle to warm up. I went to the mess hall to get something to eat and luckily we had cooks and hunters in our ranks or else I dont know how we would get shipments of food. I saw Colin and Kelso at a far table playing cards with Stone Wall and a Griffin and a pony, I grabbed my lunch and walked over to them. I sat down and the card game was getting tense Colin had 50 pieces of gold on the line and Stone Wall was all in, I watched as Stone Wall laid out a Luna and a knight?

"The hell kind of cards are those whatever happend to king queen and Jack's?" Colin shrugged and laid a Celestia and a Luna. He cheered as he got all the money on the table.

"That may be how your cards work Sir Kobe but here we have something a little different" Stone Wall commented.

We played a few more games then went to the war room where Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were playing with the war map using little toys as soldiers. We chased them off and began our next move to find Tirek. Ajax suggested we go to a place called 'The forbidden' he said it may be the place where he's hiding and I wouldn't doubt that a spooky place like that wohld be a demon lair. I sent a letter to Luna the details of our mission, man i sound like some special ops soldier from CoD.

The girls wanted to come but i didn't want to risk them getting hurt just in case Tirek has back up. I received a letter from Celestia saying I'm not allowed to go there so I threw away the letter and got ready to go anyways. We are gonna take 480 troops with us to the forbidden and hopefully it's enough.

(2 days later)

"Okay here we are!" Ajax announced.

We were standing at the entrance of the forbidden forest, it looked pretty spooky compared to the everfree by a big scale. There wasn't any snow since no one was allowed here. We marched into the forest weapons ready to strike. Ajax sent a few scouts ahead for any traps and to find the lair of which Tirek would be. We made it to a cliff overview and could see a gigantic cave in the center of the forest. The scouts returned with a layout of their paths.

"Sir we have 3 routes to take," he points at one road "This here is the longest but safest way to the cave while these two are slightly hard to traverse it's traps have been deactivated and that means.."

"He's here" I finished. I walked over to Ajax and Colin to brief them. "Okay so Colin you take the 2nd century and Ajax will the 3rd and I'll take the first yeah?"

"Dude i don't study that military history" he groaned, I gave him a brief history lesson on Romans and their military so he could understand.

Colin took the 1st path while I took the 2nd and Ajax took the 3rd. We ran into a few critters and came across some decomposed bodies, twigs snapped from different directions. We made it deeper into the darkned trees then from ahead was a glowing light getting closer. I realized It was a fire ball heading straight at us.

"INCOMING MOVE!!" we all dodged it then out of the tree line horned creatures ambushed us. "AMBUSH!!"

One of the things charged at me with a bloody axe but was decapitated by my sword. I kicked another one off of a changling and stomped its head in blood going everywhere. These things were most likely with Tirek, and I wouldn't spare no one. They surrounded me, I blocked the first attack but earned an axe in the back. I grunted in pain then snapped the spear they had and stabbed the bastard through the jaw. A spear took off one of their heads and it was from the changling I saved.

A wack to my face sent me flying high and hitting a tree. I looked up to see their commander, with a big and bloody spiked club I dodged his over head then tackled him. I suckerpunched him with my shield and he punched my helmet off, I shoved my thumbs into his eyes making them bleed as the demon screamed in pain. I picked up my helmet then bashed it's head in with it.

"Stupid demon fuck...go...back...to...hell" i said turning its face into mush. The rest of them ran off back to the cave, i got up and places my helmet back on amd grabbed my sword.

"Sir we are 160 stromg no casualties" one of the Griffins reported. We got lucky with that.

"Good. MEN form a phalanx we push for the cave!" I sheathed my sword and pulled out my gladius for close combat.

We were at the caves entrance and after a quick skirmish with a lot of lighting spears we cleared the entrance. Colins and Ajax forces arrived right on time then we pushed for the double doors ahead. The stone doors wouldn't move so we had to ram it with full force, we rushed in and sitting on his throne was him. It was Tirek.

"So you finally come"

"Yeah we've come to kick your ass back to hell" I cracked my fist getting ready to do the Lords work, Tirek laughed at that.

"Fool, I know who you are Kobe and your little friends, would do well to serve the Dark Lord and the queen. If you choose to kneel that is."

"I will butcher every last one of your kind then I will skin your queen and make it into a new set of boots so when i crush your Dark Lord he will atleast feel somewhat loved as my boots kiss his face" I hissed.

He snarled and sent his goons to attack. We clashed blades and sparks went flying as swords and magic hit one and other. I slashed my way to Tirek, he threw a fire ball at my direction but i dodged it and it killed a group of demons behind me. I them slid under him slicing his rear leg making him stumble. His fist came in contact with my shield knocking me back, a gigantic fire frisbee hit his face saving me from his next attack. I could see Colin and Kelso giving insulting gestures to him which he didn't like.

A beam of red magic shot from Tireks two horns blowing both Colin and Kelso away into the crowd of death. I got up and jumped on his back stabbing his thick back, i used my shield to punch his head but was thrown off.

"You defy me then you shall face the consequences!" He shot a beam of magic at Ajax and a some of the warriors.

"NOOO!" I screamed, throwing my body into Tireks side trying to stop him but was too late, we fell down a hole the led to an exit. I got up and pulled out the Holy handgrenade. "Time to see Jesus bitch!" I pulled the pin and wrapped around Tirek causing us to fall down the exits ledge as the explosion went off.

(Later)

I opened my eyes to see a stone ceiling. I leaned up and saw Stone Wall waiting at the edge of the bed.

"Sir Kobe it's good to see you awake, after the battle with Tirek Sir Colin and Ajax found yo-"

"Did we win?" He shook his head slowly.

"We suffered 78 losses and 43 injured..." He replied. I cursed myself for those who died. "But they did find a peice of Tireks horn, Sir Colin said you might have wanted it for your 'collection' and princess Celestia wants to speak with you for some reason" he opened the door and she walked in with a squad of guards.

"Hello Kobe" She said unkindly.

"Sup" I nodded.

"You know why I'm here right?" She got straight to the point and yeah I did know why she was here.

"I do and I would like to say what we did today saved thousands maybe even millions of lives" i stated holding up the shard of horn. She took a closer look at it then back at me.

"You went into the Forbidden against my order and it costed you the lives of some of my ponies and other kingdoms citizens" she was angry and if her voice didn't say it her eyes did.

"They chose to fight for a better tomorrow princess while you sat on your throne 'waiting' for the right time! You don't even know how strong he is, but I do and I took action knowing the price, we did something you couldn't because your too soft too get your hands dirty when you need too!" I shouted. Stone Wall slowly reached for his axe uncase we had to throw down with her but I shook my head and he stopped.

"Kobe for endangering Equestria and breaking the law you are being placed under arrest. Captian, detained him." She ordered and he walked over with shackles that covered my hands.

"Your so gay you know that?" I retorted.

"You can't do this!" Stone Wall protested getting in front of me. I put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

"Don't worry I will be back soon" I promised then he moved out of the way giving Celestia the stared of death.

We walked out of the room and into the main throne room towards the exit. Everyone was shocked at what was happening and some tried to get at the guards but i ordered them to stand down. Colin and Kelso rushed up to the sun princess weapons drawn.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Colin raised his blade to her and so did Kelso.

"I am doing the world a favor" she simply said "now move out of our way or you shall be punished like him" they wouldn't move and inch and more of the warriors stood behind them.

I sighed not wanting anymore bloodshed for today. "Every one stand down now!" I shouted.

"You're really letting her do this to you?" Kelso asked bewildered. I nodded and had Stone Wall move them so we could leave.

"I'll be back before you know it just wait" I slipped him the key I stole from the guard. He didn't make it obvious and played along.

Celestia teleported us to Canterlot and began walking to the castle. I guess she wanted to show everyone that I was a 'criminal'. I was walking and just my luck I see Twilights mother staring at me with wide and sad eyes. She tried to approach but a guard pushed her away. I sighed knowing she'd probably have a whole knew view point about me now.

We arrived at the cell deep understanding the castle and it was pretty spooky not gonna lie. She shut the door behind me and it was pitch black, my anxiety started to get to me cause of how dark it was. I wasn't ever afriad of the dark but I always had a fear of something in it with me. I found a corner and curled up closing my eyes trying to calm myself. I whispered prayers and sang songs quietly to ease the fear but it wasn't working. Something wasn't right.

"I'm in a world of magic with an alicorn who put me in a pitch black cell the one thing I hate is being alone in the dark and it just so happens that I'm in that situation right now" I thought to myself. She put me here and enchanted it to break me but she won't.

"FOR I AM A MAN OF GOD WOMEN!!" I shouted into the darkness. I laid down and tried to sleep off the fear which didn't really work so I stood up and walked over to the door.

I made eye contact with the guard across the hall. "You’re mom killed my fish by messing with the ph level in tank when she squirted across my room"

He looked shock at my sudden insult. "What did You say prisoner?!"

"You heard me you tit fucker, your lucky I'm locked up in here or else"

"Or else what?" He came closer to the door.

I held up three fingers. "Three things, I hit you, You hit the pavement and the ambulance hits 60"

(8 days later)

I heard the cell door open and due to me being stuck in the dark for so long the light hurt my eyes forcing me to close them painfully. I heard foot steps shuffle in around me and whispers, then someone grabbed me picking my up. I started punching anything i could and I hit a guard I guessed since my fist hit something metal.

"Put a blind fold and restraint on him!" A male voice ordered. I felt a cloth go over my eyes and my hands tied to something cold. I refused to walk so they dragged me to somewhere, i tried to remember which way i went.

"This sucks ass" i said mentally.

They threw me to the ground then kicked and laughed as I tried to get up. I haven't ate in God knows how long and I was too weak to fight back at the moment. They were trying to get a rise out of me and it was working. One of them picked up my head and I headbutted him but earned a punch to the gut in return.

"At ease!" A voice called out and their laughing died down. I waited for something to happen but nothing.

"My apologies friend my guards tend to be 'energetic' when I call on them" i knew that voice. It was blue blood, my anger was so far up it would have made Satan himself shit is pants.

I waited till I knew he was closer and as soon as he touched me I bit his finger then kicked his shin knocking him down. I was stabbed in the leg and cried out falling back to my knees. Blue blood got up and kneed me in the face making my nose bleed badly.Two guards held me up as Blue Blood punched my repeatedly in the face. He tried to speak but i spat blood onto him making him freal out and wipe it off.

"You creature will die for your insolence!" I felt my hands raise above me and stabbed into the pillar i was on. I tried to hold in the screams but the pain was too much, I yelled in agony as a blade came across my chest cutting it.

A burst of magic hit my chest burning it intensely, I gritted my teeth not letting tears fall. I knew if I died i would come back but it was gonna take a while for that to happen. I heard one of the ponies come closer and i kicked him I'm the nuts then his face and it just so happened to be Blue Blood. I heard behind whispering from the door I was taken through.

"Breaching!" The voice called out and an explosion went off sending the door somewhere. I heard yelling and fighting from all around and felt someone touch me.

"Oh my gosh Kobe what have they done to you" it was Twilight, I didn't know how she got here but I was thankful she was. I heard Colin in front of me yelling at someone to tie up Blue Blood and he walked to me pulling off my blind fold.

"Good lord Colin warn me next time you blind me" I laughed. My vision was better but still needed time to adjust even with my glasses it was still blurry. He put my estus in my hand and helped me drink it. My body felt so much better amd my vision was back to 20/20.

"Come on, we are getting you the hell out of here" he walked over to Blue Blood who was the only one alive until Colin stomped on his neck then we left.

We rushed down a hall and met up with Kelso and Ajax who had a peg leg now. I asked them how they found me and Twilight told me she put a tracking spell on me when we were in the mountain ruins, I was a little peeved at that but brushed it off. We went down a few stairs and went down a darkened hallway, there was Stone Wall with some rope.

"Sir Kobe your ride is here" he held up the rope and we all tied around it and climbed down the castle walls.

Once we were all down Twilight slammed into me crushing me in a hug. She was babbling about me being treated as a monster and something about never leaving my side, that part creeped me out a bit. We hauled ass back to the Everfree castle and we saw Luna waiting their.

"Ah shit" I said under my breath. Luna looked over to us and rushed over also wrapping me in a hug but since we were eye level I got a very nice spot.

"Oh Kobe, I'm so sorry that my sister has done this to you. she was doing what she thought was right but was wrong" I had to had to have Colin pry her off me so I could breath.

"It wasn't her it was Blue Blood that took me from my cell and did these thing's" I pointed at the scars from the 'tussle' we had. "Colin killed him in order to save me" I nodded to him.

"Fuck yeah dude after all that he deserved it" he crossed his arms. I looked up at the snow and since I was only wearing torn pants and a long sleeve shirt I was pretty cold.

"You guys can stand around and beat off but I'm going inside to put on new clothes and my armor" I waddled inside and Twilight was right on my heels, I shut The door on her and locked it. I went to the bathroom that some how still works after a thousand year's to change.

I left the bathroom with a towel around me and got my armor on. The glass shard I had was still in my pouch and I wanted to ask Luna if she knew how to fix it but I'll do that later. I left the room and walked up to the observation tower and sat in a chair, the guys showed up and joined me as we watched the sky and figure out which star is our sun.

"Hey Kobe you know, if we were stuck here and I don't know maybe we had to..." Kelso started. I know what he's getting st and I don't like it.

"No, we won't have to do that I promise" I shivered st the thought of dating a pony or griffin or even a dragon. Lord have mercy if it comes to that. "I've thought about if we had to run our own little gdom we have started though,my slogan will be 'More chicken More fun" we laughed at that memory and sat in our chairs in the observation tower. If we did find a way home i could make Ajax or Stone Wall the leaders but I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

Author's Note:

Well this has been a long month and yes I decided to say fuck you November its my least favorite month. I hope you liked this chapter I know i did when i wrote it I do not know how many chapters there will be but I know it will end around maybe 40 and if yall like the story I could write another story. I love doing this and i don't plan on quitting any time soon so there's that and please tell me about how much you hate this story, I knkw i can't spell so might as well live with it.

Fuck me in the ass i cant wait so here heres a next one for yall until Christmas

So yeah have a nice day and God bless Love, Souls

Comments

[Spc jacko]

no drinking cause i have to be a good Christian boy.

eat, DRINK, and be marry.

[Jar Man]

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Of course böther