• Member Since 8th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 31st, 2013

F.Venka


Comments ( 14 )

Wait... So Zecora tricked Twilight into becoming her sex slave? I'm not sure how I feel about this. And to top it off, it's very difficult to follow. I understand it's a speed clop, but can you just give it a little editing so it's easier to read? Maybe fix things like put double spaces between all of the paragraphs instead of randomly distributing them?

1070590
"confused"
Pffft, don't make me laugh. This thing isn't just confused: it's a freaking mess. I'll tidy it up right away before it gets more realistic comments... you know, like the ones about how much I suck at proofreading...?

1070630
Uh... you're not expected to feel something about it...?

Well, mighty sorry about that awful mess I just posted. I hadn't noticed how many errors I had comitted, but I'm still surprised at how many they were. Hopefully it can be understood a lot better now.

...And yes, Twilight is being referred as a 'he'.

Interesting idea, wish it was a little more coherent and the bouncing between gender descriptors wasn't quite so bad. I could still read it and get the idea but I think it loses pace when you have to stop and think about whether it's he or she that is supposed to go with this statement or that. I would love to see a revised version of this, but for a 69 minute time limit this was good.

Zecora tricked Twilight into becoming her sex slave!!!! You go, Zecora!!! Get you a colt/mare!!!!:twilightblush:

:pinkiegasp::rainbowhuh::twilightoops::derpyderp1::facehoof: what went through my head while reading this

1451764
I know, I know. I think I hit a low point with this thing. I mean - yes, the concept itself isn't very well-polished, but I think it could have been treated a lot better - at least I could have tried harder. I kinda did, but bleh, I'm not going to justify myself.
...I suggest checking out the way better stuff that isn't under my name. It's all over the place, so it's just a matter of knowing where to look.

1451890 ill read just about anything as long as it has some sort of plotline. this idea was a good one

i go a boner from this:twilightblush::twilightsheepish::twilightsmile:then i was surprised:twilightoops:and then mad cause there was no more chapter :twilightangry2:

1845258
I could actually revamp the entire thing further.
Actually, I just know I've read this idea itself being done before. I just know it. I can't remember where.

>>F.Venka
Thats to bad let me know if you remember :raritywink:

>> F.Venka
I dont know how to make the name appear blue sorry

Login or register to comment