• Published 30th Jul 2019
  • 694 Views, 53 Comments

Make Me a Better Villain Dr. Discord! - Horizon Spark



Discord decides to help better the future of Equestria by summoning past villains and telling them just how bad their evil schemes were. Doing his country proud.

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LOOK A DISTRACTION

The office was empty and quiet. Nothing was out a place, which was ironic for the lord of chaos. It was so peaceful that if you were too focused on the serene environment, you wouldn’t notice the incoming sound of a screaming draconequus. Unless you did now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!!!!

CRASH!!!

Discord slammed right through his own roof like a burning meteor made of fireworks and brimstone, destroying everything and rendering his room an ashy wasteland. Fortunately, nobody was hurt, and the on and the only thing injured was the chaos lord that was currently laying down, heavily breathing.

It took Discord a whole hour to register himself until he snapped his fingers and everything was fixed in an instance. After several minutes of more heavy breathing, he was finally able to get up onto his chair and contemplate the events that transpired.

“Well, that was a trip and a half. Who knew twisting reality and time to suit your own needs so your talk show can still stay relevant wasn’t such an easy thing to do? I’m going to need another hiatus after this...”

Smiling, Discord snapped his fingers as his clipboard appeared in his claws. “On the bright side, all of my space-time shenanigans means I can get to the rest of my guests without worrying about that dreaded continuity. I just wish I can make agents who are better at scheduling.”

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon, and sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon
Discord, whatever did we do to make you take our world away?

“Huh, now who could be calling my phone? Also, I should really update my ringtone, that song was so 2012,” he looked at the caller ID, then gave an exasperated smile, “well, speak of the draconequus, it’s my agent!”

He clicked on the phone. “You’ve reached best villain, Discord speaking.”

What followed was a series of incoherent babble that no one in the room would ever have the chance to hear. Discord’s smirk transformed into a face of annoyance.

“Well of course this was all necessary! You told me to reset things under any means necessary, and I did. No need to worry about any leftover tears in the fabric of space, I’ll fix them later.”

More incoherent babble.

“Well you had responsibilities to attend to, all that dreadful college work you wouldn’t stop yammering about. Not your fault you couldn’t get this story done before the finale. Trust me, this is what all the big boy authors do.”

Even more incoherent babble.

“Am I sure? Kid, you’re a 22-year old college student who can’t leave his house before triple-checking if his fridge is shut. If anyone were to really care about the continuity of a fanfiction in regards of show canon, it would be you.”

I assure you this is riveting dialogue.

“No worries my good man. Just be sure to get ahold of yourself and do your best no matter what. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have interviews to get ready for and you have to prepare for my interview. Also, tell that short friend of yours to stop calling me about Tirek. I don't care why he couldn't use Unicorn magic, he's still a loser. End of story!”

Discord hung up the phone and breathed a sigh of relief. “Glad that’s over with, I hate translating babble. That junk is harder to understand than Russian!”

He then snapped himself a new suit and brought up his clipboard. “In any case, we can get to scheduling my next guests. At least if there is one thing we learned from this, is that I always was a goat. The Greatest of All Time!”

Author's Note:

UPDATE CHAPTER! YAY!
So yeah I really wanted to get this story done before the Finale because I knew spoilers would mess with this story. (Even though the Finale was out a month before) But Spoilers or not, I'm gonna get this story done because I love this story and I'm glad you guys love it.

Dazzlings coming soon bois and gurls.
(I'm not sorry short friend)

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