The news
It had now been two and a half years since I left Ponyville, the first town in Equestria I had been to. I had been all around, seeing sights and new, interesting creatures. After all, I could only stay in one place for so long, no matter how joyous. And trust me, Ponyville was by far the most joyous town I’ve seen here.
This was my fourth year here in Equestria, after being pulled here by...interesting circumstances. Upon my arrival, I attracted much attention, as a two-legged creature such as myself was all but unknown at the time. I still remember how friendly the creature that found me was. She was a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, and despite scaring me out of my mind the first time I saw her, she would go on to become my best friend. It took me a while to become used to the fact that the primary species in Equestria were ponies, but I became used to it after seeing how similar the ponies of Equestria were to the humans of Earth. After the fact, Twilight introduced me to her friends, and although they were a bit hesitant and suspicious at first, they eventually came to accept me as one of their friends.
Ever since, I hadn’t thought much of my old home. Twilight offered to help me return, but I told her that there was nothing for me to return to. After all, my parents were dead, I had no friends, and I always felt so unwelcome no matter where I went. It was the exact opposite of Equestria, so I decided to take permanent residence here in Equestria, and that had ended up being the smartest decision of my life.
However, after I had been here for two years, I decided to do a little exploring. My friends were all shocked by my decision to leave; Twilight was obviously not okay with me leaving, despite what she kept telling me. Regardless, I made a promise to return. Leaving in the first place, however, was probably the dumbest decision of my life.
I don’t know why I thought I’d be as happy anywhere else as I was in Ponyville. Sure, some of the other cities such as Manehattan or Canterlot were sights to behold, but they couldn’t compare to the friendly, quaint mood of Ponyville.
I was currently in Baltimare, writing a letter to my friends. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure they would remember me, but I was writing to them to let them know that after my two and a half years of absence, I was returning to Ponyville...to stay.
After finishing my letter, I left my motel room and went down to the lobby. There, I paid the concierge a few extra bits for his service, and made my way out the door. I dropped my letter off at the post office and headed toward the train station, where the ticket master, a colt with a grey coat and a monocle, greeted me with a warm smile. I returned it and said, “One way ticket to Ponyville, please.”
“No problem, sir. However, there are going to be several quick layovers on your way, so the trip might take around four to five hours,” replied the ticket master.
“That’s no problem. As long as I get there right?”
The ticket master chuckled at my comment. It’s amazingly rare to see a pony like this in a good mood. They’re usually just grouchy and waiting to get off work.
I took my ticket and boarded the train. I took a seat and pulled out my favorite book as a child: The Trumpet of the Swan. It still fascinates me that such a similar book to one written on Earth exists here. As the train began to leave the station, I couldn’t help but smile harder than I was before.
In a few short hours, I was going to be with my friends again.
I just hope they still remember me after all these years.
Starlight Glimmer didn’t deserve to be where she was. She deserved to be in a dungeon in Canterlot. Or maybe even Tartarus. Not too long ago, she had tried to end the friendships of Princess Twilight Sparkle by traveling back in time and stopping the Sonic Rainboom, which would keep the Elements of Harmony from earning their Cutie Marks. Unfortunately, that created many alternate timelines where Equestria was either on the brink of destruction or under the rule of some evil being. Luckily, Twilight had managed to talk her down by offering her a second chance to start over rather than punishing her, which she had believed she deserved.
Regardless, she was currently in the kitchen of the Castle of Friendship, chatting with Spike about how Twilight hatched him from an egg. Ironically, this was also how Twilight earned her Cutie Mark.
“After that, I was pretty much part of the family. I’ve been with Twilight ever since,” Spike concluded.
“And to think I tried to stop that,” Starlight said with a sad sigh.
Spike rolled his eyes before responding. “For the millionth time, Starlight, all’s forgiven. You just gotta forget about all that.”
“I know, but it’s hard to move on when you know you’re responsible for destroying Equestria a number of times. But still, you’re right,” Starlight admitted.
Before Spike could respond to that, there was a loud shriek throughout the castle. Spike and Starlight ran out of the kitchen and into the library to find Twilight holding a letter in her magic and bouncing up and down excitedly.
“What is it? What’s happened?” asked Spike.
“We got a letter!” Twilight said, the excitement clear in her voice.
Starlight and Spike both let out groans. “Don’t do that! We thought there was something wrong,” said Starlight.
Spike walked up to Twilight and pulled the letter out of her magical grasp. “What’s the big deal? We get letters all the time.”
“But this isn’t just any letter, it’s a letter from Jake!” Twilight responded.
Spike’s face lit up with excitement. He began hopping in a fashion similar to Twilight. “Really?! What’s it say, what’s it say?!”
“I don’t know yet. I haven’t read it. I’ll be right back. I’m gonna get the others. Do not read it until we get back!” Twilight said before teleporting out of the castle.
Starlight walked up to Spike with a confused look on her face. “That was...interesting. Quick question: what was that all about?”
Spike stop bouncing and faced Starlight. “That’s right, you weren’t here when Jake left.”
“Who’s Jake?”
“Jake is the only human to ever enter Equestria. We all got along great, until he left a few years back.”
“Human?”
“Imagine me, but taller, tan colored, hair, and always wearing clothes. Also, no tail.”
“Oh, but if you all got along so well, why did he leave?”
“He said he wanted to see more of the world he was living in. Now that I think of it, he doesn’t even know about the castle. He left about a week before the whole Tirek incident, so he’s used to Twilight and me living in Golden Oaks Library.”
“Twilight seemed really excited.”
“Makes sense. She always had...a bit of a...soft spot for the guy, if you know what I mean.”
“You mean like...a crush?”
Before Spike could answer, Twilight and the rest of their friends ran into the castle. Spike slowly and subtly nodded, and Starlight’s eyes became wide as plates.
“You didn’t read it yet, did you Spike?” accused Rainbow Dash.
“Of course not,” Spike responded.
“Good. Cause we all miss Jake as much as you two,” said Applejack.
“I can’t believe we’re hearing from him. It’s been so long,” said Rarity.
“I wonder if he knows about the castle,” said Fluttershy.
“Either way, I’m throwing him a party when he gets back,” said Pinkie Pie.
“Hold on, Pinkie. We still haven’t even read the letter yet. We don’t know if he’s coming back,” said Twilight.
“What makes you think he’s coming back anyhow?” asked Spike.
Pinkie put on a knowing smirk. “Oooooh, just a hunch.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Read it already!” said Rainbow.
“Alright alright,” said Twilight. With that, she levitated the letter in front of her and began reading. “Dear all my friends in Ponyville, I’m not a hundred percent sure if you remember me, but I still felt the need to write this letter. As you all know, I left Ponyville to see more of Equestria two and a half years ago. This was easily the dumbest decision I’ve ever made. Not that Equestria has been bad, just not quite as exciting as I expected. Ponyville has been by far the most friendly town I’ve been to, and no other town has brought me nearly as much joy. For this reason.” Twilight paused as her eyes grew even wider with excitement. “I will be returning to Ponyville to stay!”
Everyone in the room, save for Starlight, cheered and shouted at what they just heard.
“Hold on, there’s more,” said Twilight.
Everyone settled down for Twilight to finish the letter.
Twilight cleared her throat and continued. “By the time you receive this letter, I will be on my way back from Baltimare, so don’t bother writing back. I look forward to seeing you all again in a few hours. One more thing, tell Pinkie that despite how much I love her parties and knowing that some sort of return party is inevitable, I don’t want anything too big. A small party with all of our friends is fine. Signed, Jake Taylor.”
Twilight felt like she was going to explode with excitement when she finished.
“That’s great. It’s been way too long since we last saw him. I wonder if he’s changed much,” said Rarity.
“Don’t know, don’t care. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get started on planning a party,” said Pinkie.
Before Pinkie could dash out of the room, Twilight grabbed her by the tail with her magic. “He just said he didn’t want anything too big.”
“I know, and I don’t plan on doing anything too big. Just a smallish housewarming party with the nine of us. And I’m still totally going all out with the decorations and food,” Pinkie responded.
Twilight rolled her eyes with a smile. “Okay, but nothing that might scare him off. We don’t want him leaving again.”
“Oh please, I don’t think he’ll leave again just because of an overwhelming party,” said Rarity.
“Yeah, the letter said he was coming back to stay. And we all know for a fact that Jake isn’t one to go back on his word,” added Applejack.
Twilight sighed. “I guess you’re right. But I’m still going with you to plan this ‘party’, Pinkie.”
“Be my guest.”
With that, Twilight and Pinkie exited the castle.
Starlight looked back at everyone else.
“So...”
“Yeah, Jake’s one of our closest friends. Sorry if we overreacted a bit there,” said Rarity.
“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m just a little...in the dark here,” Starlight responded.
“Right, we didn’t know you at the time. Anyhow, Jake’s a-“ Rainbow was cut off by Spike.
“She already knows he’s human, and I tried explaining what a human is to the best of my ability,” said Spike.
Everyone looked back at Starlight. She nodded before asking, “Did Twilight really have...a crush...on Jake?”
Everyone looked to Spike, some with glares.
“You told her about that?” asked Rarity.
“Y-Yeah,” Spike answered sheepishly.
“So it’s true?” asked Starlight.
“Yes, darling, it is,” sighed Rarity.
“But the only reason we know is because of old Gossip Queen here,” joked Rainbow, nudging Rarity.
Starlight looked at Rarity expectantly, who confessed “I forgot about my romantic expertise when I told them.”
“Twilight was surprisingly subtle about it though. That’s why we didn’t notice until Rarity let it slip,” said Applejack.
“Did Jake ever find out Twilight had a crush on him?”
“Nope. None of us were gonna tell him, and like we said, Twilight was surprisingly subtle about it. He never noticed before he left,” explained Applejack.
“Does Twilight know you know?”
“Not that we know of,” said Fluttershy.
“Wait, I’m confused,” said Rainbow.
“So am I,” said Spike.
Fluttershy chuckled a bit. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna love him.”
“I hope so,” said Starlight.
Little did any of them know how literal that sentence would end up becoming.
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So far I like it
You got featured! Congrats.
9714349
Thank you!
9714405
Welcome
Looking forward to the next chapter
9714462
Glad to hear!
More...
And I hope it ends in a herding situation so everyone can atleast be happy.
9714517
I can neither confirm nor deny this information. We’ll just see how it goes
9714518
Friendship may be magic, but herding is better!
9714726
Why thank you
I don't see anything wrong with this fic. Grammar is precise, Story isn't rushed or stretched, and looks like something that will be cute to read in future chapters. Keep up the good work!
9715111
To be fair, if there's grammar mistakes left, that's on me too, if I didn't catch them all when I proofread the story
9715111
It might have been Jake's pre-Equestria experiences making him expect this, or perhaps his own (lack of) self-esteem, or he's just being self-effacing. Or perhaps it's simply being at the other end of the ego spectrum from people like Dash, who would expect anyone who met her once in passing to remember her awesomeness for the rest of their lives.
9715111
Trust me when I say these ‘mysterious circumstances’ will be explained in the future
9714746
i agree with you on this.
Looks promising tracked and thumbs up
Good beginning. That last sentence seemed like a bit much in my opinion though.
A really nice start
Nice start,
Im looking forward to more.
Thumbs Up.
The Monk
“On her doorstep was Twilight Sparkle. While Derpy deeply respected the mare, like most in Ponyville, they wished she'd either switch to decaf, or start hitting the harder stuff.” -Dan_s Comments
9715111
I took it as a joke or attempt at humor. Got me to smile.
I politely disagree on the below.
And here is why
I can fill that in for you. He arrived in the Everfree forest, where he was attacked by a (Manticore/Timberwolf) which he kills with extreme ease. He makes it to town where a pony sees him and screams "Monster!" at the top of his lungs and runs away. This attracts Dash, who violently attacks him for no reason, (Knocking him out/ breaking bones and hospitalizing him). The human then spends the next 15 chapters whining and balling about his family like an overly mothered shut in. At some point he eats an Apple where he goes on and on for paragraphs about how great, fantastic, and juicy it is. How its the greatest thing he has had in his life and making the reader wonder if its an apple or a blowjob.
I personally don't like the backstory in HIE anymore and prefer when writers skip it all together. When there is a back story I fast forward through it. It is a waste of my time, because they tend to be pointless cookie cutters exactly like the above. I bet you that there are over 1000 stories on this site alone with the exact same intro as the above.
This writers smarter. By doing things this way he can meter out the back story as small, "slice of life" moments woven into the story as it progresses. A little piece of the past told during coffee in one scene. A thought or two about a personal belonging as he straps it on in another scene. Thats the better way to do it.
The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart
9716209
You, I like you. What you have described is something I hope to accomplish in my own stories.
In addition, I like the start of this story, a change of pace from what I normally read. I look forward to reading more.
9715880
It’s when I’m getting positive feedback from Gold Patreon Sponsors that I know I’m doing a good job
9716209
Um, I read this and had to laugh. But, even though I’m thankful for you defending me, I might actually right a prequel on how Jake arrived in Equestria, soooooooooooo...
9715111
I will agree on your critiques, but sometimes, if done right, a generic character (in my opinion) can go well in fluffy stuff. I can still see where you are coming from though.
9716209
The apple/blowjob part was what made me chuckle with understanding. It didn't help the there was a fic under 'Also Liked' that had an anon character staring blankly at his computer screen.
Shouldn't that be "coincidentally" or perhaps "Incidentally?" How is her getting her cutie mark then ironic in any fashion?
9717087
That was something I looked at, but since they were talking about something that Starlight tried hard to stop, I thought "Ironically" was okay there, because what Starlight did was bought up in the paragraph just above it, so it kinda was ironic.
I’m just now starting on this story, but I’d like to ask some questions:
Does this story have a predecessor that details Jake’s starting in Equestria? When does this story take place in terms of the show canon? And...
I know that you have a friend who proofreads for you, but does PinkedWonder also edit for you or anything?
9732686
1. As of now, the story has no predecessor, but I do plan to make one
2. This takes place in Season 6, before “No Second Prances”.
3. No, ThePinkedWonder doesn’t do any editing for me, but I still highly appreciate his help
There are stories on here which I disliked after the first chapter, but ended up enjoying greatly as I got more into them. Then, there are the stories I'm not sure what to think about -- sometimes not even to the end. And finally, there are stories I'm in love with from chapter the first.
This one most certainly falls into that last category. I don't know what it is - your storytelling, the language you use, how you write interactions... I usually cringe through most summaries (that tend to appear quite often, now that I think of it) -- it didn't happen here, the introduction to the current circumstance set was smooth and felt very natural, almost like an introduction to an excellent memoir.
Also, I adore Twilight, so I sincerely hope she doesn't end up heartbroken at the end of all this -- the way she reacted to the letter was just so adorable...
Your Rarity and Rainbow Dash are, so far, a little toned down from what I'm used to... but I'm thinking it might be a good thing. Time will tell.
In any case, onwards!
And I was supposed to go to sleep soon, too...