If you'd asked Twilight which of her friends would break into her castle to commit an interdimensional crime, Applejack probably would've been pretty far down on the list, somewhere between Fluttershy and Princess Celestia. But between finding several unauthorized uses of the Mirror Portal, a sudden influx of unexplained funds to Sweet Apple Acres and a sharp increase of food-based magic incidents in the human world, it's hard to deny the obvious conclusion.
There's also the fact that Applejack isn't even trying to deny the obvious conclusion.
Warning: spoilers in the comments.
Literally last-minute prereading done by FloydienSlip.
Chapters (1)
Hi yes I love this
You foul and sinister fiend!
So thyme is a powerful magical catalyst and it was unknown in the human world, only growing wild in the Everfree until Sunset and co discovered it and brought it back? Eh, heard weirder.
And surprisingly charming with good world building and fun characterization. Despite, you know, the ending.
9740547
Thanks again for the last-minute prereading.
9740549
Thank you, thank you. Although maybe you could put that middle part in spoilers? It's basically what the whole story is set up for after all.
It was extinct in Equestria, not the human world. The human world had oodles of it, there just wasn't any magic for it to have volatile reactions with.
I've been fuckin had a second time
The ending seemed like an excuse to use a terrible (great) pun, but there was a lot of really clever bits and observations in this!
I approve!
“Thyme is money, Twilight. Thyme is money."
I hate you so much right now.
(J/K)
Seriously, though, great story. Love it!
I think I'll be very glad when all this feghoot stuff is finally over with, though.
9740593 That makes two of us.
...
All I'm going to say is I caught the Gravity Falls reference.
9740553
Ah, that makes sense. But now it's all gone pear shaped, so to speak.
An interesting but tangential thing I discovered while under my misapprehension before. Apparently they were trading Cinnamon all the way up to Greece from Indonesia back in 2000 BC. And of course it was a major driver in the colonization of India and Southeast Asia. If Cinnamon had never existed it would have made for an interesting alternate history.
9740585
*evil cackling*
9740593
The ending was an excuse to use a terrible (great) pun. That was basically the one rule of the contest.
9740600
Your hate feeds me~
Thank you for the comment. Might want to delete that line or put it in spoiler tags though so everyone else can have their "fun", too.
9740620
...you might have actually caught a reference I wasn't aware myself there. I know I had one in my last story but I must've missed the one in this one.
9740935 Good to know, and will do!
I wanted to ask the permission to translate it, but the last sentence is totally untranslatable into Russian.
9740935
9741036
Ooooh, that one. That was actually one of the first jokes I wrote for the story, so early that I forgot about it myself until now.
Yeah, that was intentional. Good catch.
9741028
Puns are the true challenge for any translator. I'd love to have a translation for this, if you can give me alternative spice based puns in Russian maybe I can write a way to work in one of those.
9741059
Sorry, but thyme and time may sound alike in English, but тимьян (timyan - thyme) and время (vremya - time) in Russian are not, and no other food or spices are sound alike.
9741074
Fair enough, and no worries. If you do think of a fitting pun (doesn't have to be related to the one I used) let me know.
9740620
If there's one crime I know Fluttershy would commit, it's pug trafficking.
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/617/851/56d.gif
WHAT IS WITH ALL THE RECENT STORIES BUILT AROUND PUNS
Most weren't even for the Feghoot Festival...
Welp, time to banish Applejack from Equestria and lock her in a dungeon in the place that you banish her to.
Shrug
9741324
Just like actual buildings, stories need a solid pundament to build them on.
9741074
Maybe семя?
9741531
It May work...
9741364
Don’t you mean...”Thyme” to banish Applejack?
9742169
All the reaction this story deserves and ever wanted~
(If you could put that line in spoiler text though that would be appreciated, just to keep new readers from seeing it accidentally.)
Good thing Celestia OKd it, or this story would end with Thyme and Punishment instead.
I can't bear to see Applejack do hard thyme for this.
I enjoyed the pun and story. :)
I'm somewhat puzzled by this bit, though:
"public nudity was more of a felony than a crime"
How would it be a felony without being a crime? Also, public nudity is a felony there?
Groantastic!
I wonder how many times Twilight has to deal with a variation of
"There's a princess outside!"
"Which one?"
"The cute one!"
9742366
Done.
I'd actually like to see more of this!
Okay, this isn't the best pun I've seen for this contest (though it's up there), but it's definitely one of the better stories. Whether or not this wins, I honestly enjoyed reading it. The little touches regarding Twilight describing other characters were what made it for me.
I read the Longest Joke in the World, I’ve seen that ending.
Though, I momentarily forgot what a feghoot is and still groaned at the end.
I loved the story, and the pun at the end made me laugh just due to how unexpected it was.
This is based off of another story? I swear I've seen this story's premise before.
.. okay I'm still lost on one thing, wtd was the 'peeved' bit about?
9742473
I mean I know a few countries where it wouldn't be IE at all unless she was being overtly sexual, which feels... wrong for Pinkie, for many reasons, so felony seems particularly outbof place in that conntext. I do know its generally considered a more serious offense when a child is involved, though, and Pinkie does tend to attract children to her location in a manner not entirely unlike the pied piper. Maybe thats what the auhor was thinking of?
I dont know what it is about these contest entries that all have some throw away gag that seems really interesting to me more so then the actual plot. In this one it's the pug trafficking. I would actually read a story about that.
9743773
In the episode Flutter Brutter(?) it was pretty much established that peeved was a swear word in Equestria. Incidentally, this also made Fluttershy the first pony to canonically swear in the show.
This was delightful. Like a couple of the other longer feghoot contest entries (4-6k rather than 1-2k), it was fun not so much for the pun at the end - it's hard for any pun to justify a buildup that long - but for what we saw along the way. There was so much fun to be had here, whether it be the brief summaries of Twilight's interviews with her various friends, the hilarious Minuette scene, the nervous student pony who knows his EEA... Probably my favourite bit of the whole thing was this bit though:
One small typo (edit: now fixed).
Thanks very much for the delightful fic, and good luck in the contest!
I liked the writing and was planning on upvoting but then I got to the pun at the end.
9742473 9743773
I honestly have no idea what the law on public nudity is like anywhere (or how law in the USA is structured in general, really), but this is Canterlot and the law enforcement guidelines in that town probably boil down to "Pick your battles wisely".
9742722
"The cute one" probably ends up being Ember most of the time. Compromise is when nobody is happy.
9742874
I wouldn't really know where to go from there. The underlying problem in the story is basically solved
and I have enough problems updating the stories I actually do want to continue.9742992 9743103
Thank you, thank you~
9743436
The premise probably isn't entirely new, but I've never read another story using it this way yet.
9743834
Making a note to remember it for the next contest, then.
9744513
We've lost many good upvotes to that pun.
9744201
Thank you very much for that comment. That was the highlight of my day.
And for spotting the typo. It wasn't the first one and probably won't be the last one.
The difference is largely a matter of how much cackling one does during the experimental process.
In any case, truly brilliant work, especially the ingenious tie-ins to the comics. My only complaint is that it seems like the Crusaders still don't have their marks despite this being after the Friendship Games and thus the Sparkle-Glimmer time war. Aside from that continuity wrinkle, great stuff from start to finish. Best of luck in the judging.
Felony=crime, but I figure others have already made that clear to you already.
My confusion is, how is thyme a dangerous herb exactly?
9744663
You don't get over PCSD (Post-Crusading Stress Disorder) that easily. The "Hey, we got our cutie marks... let's go find a hobby!" episode probably didn't help. I'm glad someone got all the comic references, though.
Thank you for the as always insightful comment. And of course best of luck in the judging to you as well.
9744708
Thyme in this story is a harmless herb in the human world, but a powerful magic enhancer in Equestria (and in the magic-saturated Canterlot City) that originally came from Equestria and kinda got forgotten about like any other problem-in-a-can they dumped through the mirror.
9743773
Huh; for some reason I didn't get an alert for your comment.
Bit late now for most of it, sorry, but one thing: I'm not sure what you mean by "IE" there?
9744659
...Don't think I follow, sorry. Are you saying the it would be wise or unwise to pick a battle over public nudity there? And I'm not sure how that's... especially relevant?
Ah, though I see you've changed the felony thing, so there's that solved. ...Which does mean that I'm now more confused about what we're even talking about here now, though.
Sorry I appear to be having some comprehension difficulties here.
9745221
Indecent exposure. Long words and phone posying dont go well together.
9745344
Ah, thanks!
...And would "posying" also be the fault of your phone?
9745415
No, that was on purpose.
Obviously.