I'm Leaf. (Fledgling) Author Extraordinaire. Everyone loves me.
Pinkie Pie wants something new. She's getting too used to the same old parties all the time. She needs something to spice them up a bit. Where better to find something like that than Twilight's laboratory? You never know what sort of trinkets she has locked away down there.
Why, they could even take you to a whole other world.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was interesting I liked it, even though I haven't watch mlp for quite awhile I think you got them quite in character, though then again I only watched till that part in the show where discord joined tirek and twilight fought tirek...hehe I'm rambling so bye bye
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Thanks! Glad you liked it. TBH I haven't watched the show since even before then, so characterization is definitely one of those things I'm not quite as confident about, because I don't know how they may have changed. I think I've done pretty well at it though. Nice to hear it from another source. ^w^
Now this is an interesting story! I love the concept of ponies travelling to alternate dimensions like this, and you pulled it off nicely
Though I have to say, this fic feels like it could have been a couple chapters longer, just to explore the world a little. It works just fine as it is though, so maybe it's just my personal taste speaking (though I still think it's a little rushed)
What doesn't quite work, though, is the first scene with Pinkie and Twi. Pinkie's behaviour is pretty out of character here, I think. I know Pinkie's excited to throw her party, but she seems to be... well, a total dick towards Twi. Especially considering Pinkie's breaking into her house.
Speaking of Twi, there's a couple plot holes on her part. Like why she wouldn't secure the machine better knowing that Pinkie would be poking around, why she wouldn't use her magic to stop Pinkie, and such and such. Not as important as Pinkie ignoring a clearly distressed Twi, but eh, some people care about plot holes.
Other than that everything's fine! I like the first part with Twilight making a button that she know's Pinkie will press, it actually made me giggle a little. And like I said, I love the alternate reality part, as much as I wish it could have been a little longer
Good work!
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Thanks for the feedback! That definitely all tracks. I honestly noticed while proofreading that it felt a little lacking but could not for the life of me come up with a way to fix it. Somehow I managed to not consider just, like, adding more scenes. Oh well, lesson learned. That first scene could probly use a slight rework to make it more in character too, yeah.
I'm glad you enjoyed it though! Thanks again for the very insightful feedback :3