Don't Let Go

by cierragp

vii. return

Everyone saw the confession.

The school newspaper was frequently littered with jokes about the questionable overall sexuality of the school's residents.

I'd read humorously written complaints about how the guys could not get the girls with Rainbow Blaze's existence and now the girls went gay for Rainbow Dash...It was funny that all they were concerned about was so simple and oddly sad for me.

What about Soarin?

Did he find a boy that he liked?

How much exactly did my lies hurt?

That summer my hair went uncut. The tips touched my shoulders and I finally wore a dress for the first time. The sensation of wearing a dress was not pleasant, but I felt elation as I was allowed to experiment as a girl could be, without being scared of the beating that would sure follow had I expressed a desire to try previously.

I still went home and did not stay in the dorms.

"So what would you like?" Firefly asked. "A nicer room? I could have them repainted in a more favorable color, or I could take you shopping!" She clasped her hands in glee.

"That sounds nice." Even if it weren't proper, I wanted to feel loved, to be indulged in.

"Of course! What color would you like?" She smiled.

"We can think on it first." I replied.

"And I could teach you how to do your makeup, and how to match things, and probably painting and baking. I heard that you weren't allowed to?"

I nodded. "That sounds wonderful though, mom." For a second, I felt as if she were actually my mom, and not the woman I was forced to call mother.

Tears sprung up in her eyes. "Oh, Rainbow Dash," she hugged me tight. "Strike! She called me mom!"

I smiled.

This was love? I would suppose so, and I hoped for all the wonderful descriptions of love as a beautiful thing, that it lived up.

Instead of berating me, she was always encouraging. She would teach and I would listen, simply because I wanted to.

"Rainbow, if you want anything, tell me. I'd love for you to try and develop a sense of self. It's healthy that way." She would hold my hands in hers and smile. "Me and your dad will always be here for you. Try new things and it doesn't matter whether you succeed or fail, because we'll always be here to encourage you and help you."

Those were the best words that I've ever heard. There was only one thing missing from my life now.

Soarin.

How long would it be before I could stop loving him? I already knew the answer.

If I would not be able to spend the rest of my life with him, I would not with any other.