Chapter Four; The Price You Pay
Guilty Pleasures
Chapter Four; The Price You Pay
Twilight stared down at her hooves, the crystal floor passing by below, her reflection looking back. She could hear the clicking of her hooves, the sound empty and hollow to her ears. Ahead and slightly out of sync with her own were the footsteps of another pony. Full, long, confident strides. If she looked up, without raising her head, she could see the end of Cadence’s tail bobbing just in the top of her vision. The Princess moved with a dedicated purpose, and Twilight was reminded how foolish it was to think she wouldn’t instantly know something was wrong.
“At ease,” Cadance commanded, and Twilight glanced up just enough to see them pass through a pair of double doors flanked by guards. They were much deeper into the Crystal Palace now, further from prying eyes.
Further from an easy escape.
A left turn. Then a right. Where were they going? Twilight didn’t have this castle as memorized as her own or Canterlot. Cadance’s chambers? A private dining area?
A dungeon? She wouldn’t be surprised; it would be exactly what she deserved. There was no doubt in Twilight’s mind Cadance already knew. She’d always seemed to know exactly what the problem was when it came to relationships. She could pass a couple on the street and tell them what they needed to fix and how to fix it. A small spell and a fight would be over. Just like that.
Just like that…
Twilight held in a scoff. That was what she thought as a filly. She knew better now; magic didn’t work like that. No matter how powerful the caster, there was no such thing as a spell that could fix a relationship. Magic could help, but it could never fix everything.
“Twily!”
No. Twilight felt her chest tighten, her heart throb. They came to a stop. She looked up enough to see white hooves running down the hall towards them. Please no. Not him, I can’t-
“Shiny, dear,” Cadence’s voice cut in, smooth and effortless and commanding. “I’ve taken a break from my duties, could you fill in for me for…” she trailed off a moment. Twilight lifted her head and their eyes met for a split second before she looked away. “An hour?”
Shining skidded to a halt in front of them. “Cadance! What are you talking about, Twily’s-” his words stopped, and Twilight knew he was looking at her but couldn’t find the strength to look back.
“I’ll be in the throne room,” he said, his voice deeper and professional. The tone that had been beaten into him by his superiors in the guard. Twilight heard his hooves getting closer, closer… she clenched her eyes shut, bracing for it. A hug, a hoof on her shoulder, a word of comfort, none of which she deserved.
Then his hoofsteps passed, and faded down the hall behind her. Her head snapped up, surprised, and she realized Cadence was looking at her again.
“He knows better,” she said. “Though you will have to spend some time with him before you leave.”
And like that, without waiting for a response or an acknowledgement, they were on their way again. Another left, and again they stopped. This time, in front of an ordinary, unassuming door. Cadence lit her horn and a key was summoned. The door opened, and Twilight was ushered in first.
Inside was a fairly small room, the crystal walls a warm blue lit by the comfortable orange glow of several lanterns. Against the far wall was a window that overlooked the crystal empire, far too high off the ground to support a voyeur and too small and innocuous to be of any interest anyway. The hard crystal floor had been covered by a plush carpet, and in the center of the room were a few chairs placed around a table upon which sat a tea set.
Looking over this room, which could only be described as cozy, Twilight realized.
She was Cadence’s client. Just like any other pony with relationship troubles. A mare seeking advice from the Princess of Love. Nothing more.
The thought brought with it a sense of ease Twilight hadn’t expected. Cadence had seen it all before, and here, in this room, she wasn’t a Princess of Equestria or Friendship. She wasn’t the Element of Magic. She was just Twilight Sparkle, a mare who needed help.
“Sit,” Cadence said, her gentle tone at odds with the fact it was anything but a request. “Tell me about it.”
Twilight hesitated, but before long they were both sat in comfortable chairs - though not too comfortable. The cushions were such that you could spend hours sitting in them, but you didn’t want to. Just soft enough to support a conversation of any length without making it hard to get up.
Finally, Twilight looked up, and their eyes met properly, and Twilight saw nigh boundless compassion radiating from Cadence's face.
She wondered how long that would last.
Her mouth opened, dry as cotton. Words came slow and thick from her throat. “W-what do you know?”
Cadance pursed her lips a moment. “I know you have a problem, and that you need my help. That means it’s a problem not with a friend, but with a lover, which means Rarity…” she trailed off, and Twilight knew there was more.
“Cadance…”
“You didn’t come to me so I could tell you your problems, Twilight; you came here to get my advice. I can’t give you that without you opening up.”
Sighing, Twilight nodded. “I… Rarity and I, we’ve… we’ve been having problems lately, and I…” I betrayed her trust. I ran away. I made a mistake. “I don’t know what to do.” I’m hurting her. Because she hurt me. I’m a terrible pony.
Cadence's eyes narrowed. “What kind of problems, Twilight?” She lit her horn, and Twilight felt her heart beat slow, her breathing calm. It was a tiny spell, designed to help relaxation, but here it was the line between a conversation and a panic attack. “Please, be as specific as you can.”
“I…” I ran away from my problems and buried them by… by… “She spent so much time away from home, I felt alone, but now… I’m doing the same thing to her.”
“Twilight.”
She looked up again. Saw the frown on Cadance’s lips. No angry or sad or disappointed, but worried. “You have to be honest with me, Twilight; nothing you say here will leave this room, and I will never judge you.”
Yes you will. You’ll hate me for what I did. What I’m still doing. “I am telling you the truth,” she said, eyes shifting away.
Cadance sighed as she leaned back in her chair. “We have all the time you need, Twilight. Tell me about what you mean; what are you doing to her?”
Chewing her lip, Twilight’s eyes fell on the kettle between them. “Tea?” She managed to croke out. Her throat felt like it was closing up.
“Sure.” Cadences horn lit, and in the fortless dance Twilight had long grown used to watching tea was prepared before her. “Same as always?” Twilight nodded, and the kettle whistled as the water boiled under a magic glow. “This takes me back.”
“It’s been a long time since we had tea together,” Twilight all but whispered, watching attentively as two cups were poured. She blinked, and when her eyes opened a pearly white unicorn sat across from her, a bright beaming smile lighting up the room. A shudder ran through her body, and the image vanished. Gone, just like that. Always gone.
Cadance watched the mare out of the corner of her eye. “Rarity’s quite fond of tea, if I remember correctly?”
“Earl Grey,” Twilight replied with a slight nod. A cup on a saucer was set on her side of the table.
The princess laughed, bring her own cup to her lips and gently blowing away the rising steam. “Of course; a proper tea for a proper lady, no?”
Twilight didn’t respond, lost in her tea. The image of a monster stared back at her.
“How is Rarity doing, anyway? I’d heard she’s opened another store, but I haven’t had a chance to visit it yet.” Cadance took a gentle sip, eyes constantly focused on the lavender mare. Twilight could feel the scrutinous gaze. Knew that Cadance knew.
“She’s… busy…” Twilight trailed off, fidgeted with her hooves. You already know. Stop toying with me.
Cadance smiled ruefully. “Ah, such is the life of an entrepreneur. Especially one as young as her. She must be away from Ponyville a lot.”
“All the time.”
“Must be hard,” Cadance said, and there was an undertone to her voice that made Twilight’s blood run cold. “Being alone for so long.”
“Stop. Please, stop,” Twilight felt herself choke down a sob.
“Twilight-”
“You know!” Twilight cried, tears forming and rolling down her cheeks. “You know what I did! Please, don’t… don’t do this to me. Don’t make me say it. Please, Cadance, I can’t-”
“I don’t know anything you haven’t told me. I just-”
Twilight’s eyes clenched shut. “I’m cheating on her!” She yelled, shoulders shaking as sobs wracked her. The cry left the room in silence for a few tense moments before, with a shuddering breath, she continued. “She abandoned me for her work! All she- all Rarity cares about is her stupid dresses! I’m not even important enough for her to take a single day away from her store! She doesn’t deserve me!
“So I found somepony that actually cares about me! Somepony that would drop anything to be there for me. Somepony who’s always been there for me when I needed her! I… I know it’s wrong, but I- I don’t care anymore.” Her crying was at odds with the horribly twisted smile on her face. Sorrow and anger and guilt and so much more warring for control, and Twilight didn’t know which to feel the most. The smile was sad butt he teary eyes were bright with fond memories. “When I’m with Rarity, I feel more alone than when she’s away, but with her… Even if she’s not there I know she’s with me.
“I don’t… I can’t go back. I don’t want to go back, not to the way things were. It’s not fair! Why should I suffer because Rarity’s too self obsessed to notice me? Why should I have to deny myself what I want just because it might hurt her? She hurt me first! It’s not fair! I shouldn’t- I can’t- I…” She stopped, and for the first time she heard what she was saying, her own words bringing a wave of disgust washing over her. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
Twilight’s tirade ended, and the only sound in the room was her own sobbing. She felt Cadance’s magic, and again her heart slowed. It still throbbed painfully against her ribs, despite the soothing spell.
“It’s okay, Twilight, just breathe, I-”
“It’s not okay!” She screamed, burying her face in her hooves. “Nothing I did was okay! I’m a horrible pony! Everypony will hate me when they find out - and I deserve it! What I did to her, I-I-...”
Cadence’s frown grew deeper, but she didn’t say anything more as she waited. Minutes ticked by, and Twilight’s sobbing quieted, and finally Cadence said, gently; “I don’t hate you, Twilight.”
Twilight’s head snapped up, eyes bloodshot and swollen. “B-but I-”
“What you did was wrong, yes…” Cadence sighed, leaning back slightly. “But I don’t hate you for it. I’m not even mad at you; you’re my sister-in-law, Twilight - my favourite filly to foal-sit for; I love you, and there’s nothing you could do that would change that.”
A moment of silence bought fresh tears to Twilight’s eyes, but she managed to smile. “Thank you.”
Cadence didn’t return the smile. “I am, however, disappointed in you.”
Twilight choked on what little hope she had.
“Don’t act so surprised,” Cadence chastised lightly. “You know full well what you did was wrong. That’s the entire reason you’re here. Or am I missing something?”
“N-no…” Twilight sighed shakily. “I-I know that… that I made a mistake, but-”
Cadence leaned forward. “No, you didn’t make a mistake.”
“Wha-”
“A mistake is an accident,” she explained, her gaze meeting Twilight’s and boring holes into the younger alicorn’s very soul. “This wasn’t an accident, this was a choice. You chose to cheat on Rarity. Whatever justification you may have had, however hurt you felt, it was your choice to do what you did. You didn’t make a mistake; you made a bad decision.”
Twilight hung her head. “I know.” She felt the urge to add a ‘but’, but she knew better. Knew better than to try and explain herself. Excuse her actions. Not to Cadence.
Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Cadence allowed herself to relax into her chair. “So, why are you here?”
“I don’t know what to do,” Twilight admitted slowly, choosing her words carefully. “I… I feel horrible, but I…” she sniffled. “I don’t know how to fix this. I know I can’t ever go back to how things were before, and I don’t want to, but…”
“What you do now depends on what you want to do, Twilight.” Cadence kept her scrupulous gaze on the amre across from her. “I know you; you’re not the kind of pony to do this kind of thing for a cheap thrill. You must have truly felt hurt and alone. That by no means excuses it, but… it does tell me that your relationship with Rarity has problems.”
Twilight nodded, more to herself than anything. “So I should break up with her?”
“That’s not really your choice right now,” Cadence said, her eyes narrowing slightly. “The first thing you need to do is talk to Rarity.”
Twilight’s jaw fell open. “T-tell her!? I-I can’t, I couldn’t! She’ll hate me! I-I can’t-”
“That’s the risk your took when you betrayed her trust, Twilight. If you ever want her to trust you again, you have to tell her the truth. Because believe me; she will find out, one way or another. That’s the one universal truth in these situations; the other party always finds out eventually. You can either tell her yourself, or you wait until she finds out on her own. Trust me, Twilight; no matter how impossible it may seem that she would forgive you, it’s a lot more likely if you tell her rather than letting her find out later.
“Then, after you tell her, it’s Rarity’s choice if she wants to try to salvage a relationship. At that point, that’s when you can decide if you want to try. Rarity holds all the cards; she’s the one who’ll be hurt, not you. She’ll be the one to decide if you’re deserving of a second chance.” Cadence’s words were cold, but there was a compassion behind her eyes that held Twilight’s tears at bay.
“I… I don’t know if I can, Cadance. I…”
“Think about it this way; if Rarity had cheated on you, wouldn’t you want to know?”
Twilight frowned, her hooves running over the fabric of her chair idly. The slight scratching adding some sound to the painfully stagnant air. “I… I don’t even know, at this point. I just… I want her to be happy, and if that’s with somepony else, then-”
“And what if it was Rainbow Dash being unfaithful?”
Twilight felt like her lungs were filled with concrete. No air in our out, her chest tight. Her last secret dragged kicking and screaming into the open in front of her. “Y-you did know. How-”
Cadance sighed, and took a long draught of her tea. “Of course I knew, Twilight; the second I saw you I knew there was another mare. I’m the Princess of Love, I can sense a pony’s love, and yours felt very different from the last time I saw you after you and Rarity had started dating. I didn’t know how far it had gotten - whether it was simply an infatuation with somepony else or… more, but I did know there was something.
“I also know that you’ve been making appearances at just about ever Wonderbolts show Rainbow’s performed in. It wasn’t that hard to put together.”
Slowly, Twilight nodded and sipped at her tea, eyes faraway. It’s that obvious? Then… who else knows?
“Well?” Cadance prompted after a moment. “If Rainbow Dash were doing to you what you’re doing to Rarity, wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I…” she hesitated, mulling over the thought. Imagining Rarity with another pony was… it just was. Her Prince Charming, at last. Twilight almost chuckled; there was a time she thought she was to play the role of the prince. But… she didn’t feel angry. Didn’t feel betrayed or upset. If anything, she was glad. Rarity was happy.
Or maybe she was just off the hook.
The thought made her feel ill. The idea she could put her own needs so high above Rarity’s. But then, hadn’t she done that already?
Twilight set down her tea, swallowing thickly.
Then… then she pictured Rainbow Dash with another mare. A pegasus in a Wonderbolts uniform. A mare that could truly match Rainbow, one that could give her what Twilight couldn’t. That was when a seed blossomed in her gut. Anger or sadness or jealousy, she didn’t know, but it was there, and she knew immediately she'd do anything to make it go away.
“I… I have to tell her…” Twilight said slowly, eyes wide. “That… nopony should have to feel like that.”
Cadance nodded. “If you’re lucky, and if you work very hard, she might trust you again one day - but I don’t recommend expecting forgiveness.”
“But I don’t... “ Twilight hated herself more than anything in the world. “I don’t want to stay with her. I-”
“That’s…” Cadance sighed, choosing her words carefully. “That’s going to hurt her even more if she is willing to forgive you, Twilight. If you go to her and confess and apologize, and she wants to try to fix things, and you reject her?”
As much as Twilight wanted to deny it, a small flame of indignation flared in her gut. “Why don’t I get a say in this?”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Twilight; if you’re not happy in the relationship, you shouldn’t stay in it. But… you have to be careful. Put yourself in Rarity’s shoes and imagine how much that would hurt. To find out the mare you trusted - the mare you loved - was going behind your back. Imagine having to watch every day as that mare shares what you had with somepony else.”
“So, what, I should tell Rarity and break up with Rainbow?” Twilight asked accusingly. “What about what I want? I don’t want to lose everything.”
Cadence's eyes hardened, and Twilight grew silent on reflex alone. “That’s the price you might have to pay for what you did, Twilight. You put yourself in this position, and if you expect sympathy from anypony, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”
Twilight’s head hung low under the surprisingly harsh reprimand. “I… I know, but-”
“And how does Rainbow Dash feel? Does she want to keep the relationship going? Does she feel nothing for what you’re both doing to Rarity?”
“I… I hadn’t thought of that,” Twilight admitted, Cadance’s words a punch to the gut. I… I never thought about her. I never thought about Rarity. All I thought about - all I cared about was myself. I… I don’t deserve either of them. I’m disgusting.
Cadance finished her tea. “I know this is hard, Twilight. I know you never meant to hurt anypony. But I also know you, Twilight; you spent a very long time without friends, without having to worry about other ponies felt, and despite how much you’ve grown, when you’re hurting or afraid you slip back into your old ways as a defense mechanism. It’s not that you didn’t care how they felt, it’s that you just didn’t think about it.”
“I…” Twilight sniffled. “I’m a horrible pony. I don’t… how are any of them friends with somepony like me?”
“No, Twilight, you’re not. You made a poor decision, that’s all. A bad choice the snowballed out of control. What seperates good ponies from bad ones is how you go about fixing things. You own up to you choices, and you make things right, no matter how hard that’s going to be.” Cadance stood, finally, and circled around the table. She knelt down in front of Twilight and wrapped her in a hug. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
Twilight’s shoulders shook as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “You don’t know that.”
“Sure I do. I know you have wonderful friends, and even if they’re mad at you, I know you’ll work hard to earn their forgiveness.”
Twilight all but threw herself into the larger mare, chest heaving with sobs as she cried into Cadance’s chest.
“It’s okay, Twilight; you’ll be okay.”
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Actually, I think Big Pink pretty much has the situation pegged. Twi's hurt the ponies she loves most in the world, and as much as she had her reasons to... that doesn't make it okay. Communication, trust, respect, and love, the cornerstones of any relationship. Twi's kinda blown the ever-loving shit out of them, and done so willingly, unlike a certain short sighted fashionista.
I loved Cadance in this. Laying down the home truths on Twilight like that. And she realizes there's a difference between trusting someone again and forgiving them, too.
She remained gentle even with her harsh words, though. But that's expected; she's the Princess of Love and Twilight is her "sister-in-law" and "favourite filly to foal-sit for." Of course she'll be biased and forgiving.
And the irony is back with a vengeance. You're not as selfish in this story as you believe, Rarity... or at least you're less selfish than our 'heroes.'
I noticed a few typos, along with the spelling dancing between "Cadance" and "Cadence;"
heartbeat
croak
but her
mare
Finally, there were several lines I liked;
Oh my GOD Kodeake you're killing me man. I m loving this story and how it deals with cheating. And seeing that last comment about perspectives made me realise just how cool it is to read this comic, and now I'm wondering how perspectives will shift. You have the guilty cheatee, the Cheater, the oblivious lover, and the confidante. Will we see it from an outsiders perspective, will it suddenly shift to someone who doesn't even know who these epople are but just happens to see it? I don't know maybe it'll jump back to Rainbow, either way I'm waiting for the next chapter
damn preaching some life lessons