- Member Since 25th Jun, 2019
- offline last seen 5 hours ago
The Voice in the Water
Listen to the crashing of the waves, the flow of a stream, the roar of a waterfall, or the patter of the rain.
The Voice in the Water
Joined 25th Jun, 2019 ·
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Interesting
What's an Isekai?
9709934
Isekai is a anime/manga genera that denotes a series where the main character is either sent to another world or reincarnated into one. The western equivalent is "trapped in another world". While this isn't going to follow most of the common isekai tropes, I find the term useful as a shorthand.
Oooh the plot thickens
Interesting three chapters. I do look forward to more.
Celestia keeps having problems with the nobles because she lets them get away with that crap. What I would have done was to have Luna deal with all the items they waited to toss at her. Have them walk in to court expecting Cele, and seeing Luna sitting smugly on the throne. That would stop that nonsense. Find those nobles abusing the day court and reassigning them under Lunas purview. Clear that nonsense right up.
The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller
9715733
Thank you. I've got a lot planned. Without spoiling too much, things are going to stay relatively calm for a little while longer, then they're going to start getting complicated.
9716568
Conflict does drive stories aft all.
😎
The Monk
“Because we killed all of the monsters we ever ran into, save for ourselves and Death. What better way to respect death than to give it the form of the only monster we could never kill?" - WhatMustIDo
I hope they start communicating more
cool chapter
I haven't read the series this story is crossed with, but this naming method is like the Tribe of Rushing Water from Warrior Cats, and I always adored it. Much cooler than standard names.
9727637
Its actually based on a tabletop RPG by White Wolf Entertainment called Werewolf: The Apocalypse. Dawn Wings is inspired by one of my own, long term characters, though slightly powered down (I played her counterpart for quite some time, so they were at "end game" levels. Dawn Wings is experienced, but she's not on the same level as her inspiration). Also, something important to note about corax is that they are actually some of the weakest fera as far as combat ability is concerned.
Regarding her name, its a common naming convention among corax. They have a common name (Dawn Wings in this case), they have their true name (Whispered Secrets Carried on Wings of Dawn), and then they have a bunch of aliases (her main alias will be mentioned later).
9727560
Things will be picking up in that regard, though Dawn Wings actually learning Equish is going to take some time.
Ooh the confrontation we all new was coming
9732775
Indeed. And what ever could the consequences of this little meeting be?
Oh yeah! That interaction was rocky at best but it was really well done
awesome chapter
9738048
Thank you.
I'll admit, it was tricky to get this right (I went through several drafts of this chapter before I felt I had it right). One of the biggest hurdles was how Dawn Wings was going to handle Twilight showing up. I eventually settled on her just being as professional but distant as possible.
9738090
Well I definitely enjoyed it
Interesting MPL and the world of darkness was not a cross I was expecting... you have my interest lets see where this goes.
How things with RD was epic. So far I am really enjoying this.
9744632
Thank you. The interaction between RD and DW was a lot of fun to write.
I hope WD bops twilight since she won't leave her alone
9749671
Dawn Wings might consider doing that (or something worse), but she's got enough self control to restrain herself. After all, scouts and spies need to keep a low profile. Smacking famous unicorns for stalking them probably won't help with that.
hmm, interesting chapter, looking forward to the next one keep up the good work. I like how you are mixing in WoD elements to MLP. I wonder how Luna would react to something Moon aligned coming over into this world.
as Dawn can understand the three princesses, it says something about something (Fate, magic whatever) that Dawn could not understand Twilight, will that change when she gets her wings? I don't know if it is going to get that far in the story but I would be very interesting to find out how ascending works in your world and what the Elements are.
9770143
If Twilight had ascended, Dawn would have indeed been able to communicate with her. In WoD, there are instances of mortals have ascended to become spirits, either during or after their lives have ended. Its one of the reasons I set the story in the time frame I did, because I wanted one of the big sources of conflict to be Dawn's inability to communicate with the Equestrians at first.
Much like the Alicorns, the Tree of Harmony is a manifest incarna in service to the celestian of Equs, the spirit of the planet. The elements themselves are fragments of its power, and serve as a conduit for the Tree to act in Equs's service. Right now, I'm focused on finishing up this part of Dawn Wings' story, but I have some ideas for possible sequels. I just want to finish this one first before I commit to later stuff.
So when will she let them know that celestia and luna are not masters of the sun and moon but are actually their minions.
9781745
She's probably not going to drop that on them, because while the info-dump from the knowledge spirit last chapter made that clear to DW, she's got no reason to assume that the ponies in question don't know it too.
Wait till the princess find out she knows things because she actually understands what she is unlike them.
OF course the corax could see through the ponies. They are probavvly no more stealthy than day guards and just have magic armor.
9792911
9793019
Yea, Dawn's powers are pretty scary in the right context. Sure, she's no physical threat like a Garou, but she's so much more dangerous in the right context.
Regarding seeing through the Mistknights, they're using a perception filter type enchantment like 2nd level Obfuscate or other stealth powers. But, Dawn Wings' gift Enemy Ways, detects threats and enemies, and gives her a general direction to where they are. She couldn't see the Mistknights, but her awareness of them let her "feel" where they were, and made a best guess based on where they could be skulking. Again, we're talking about a creature that deals with Wyrmspawn on a regular basis. You need to be perceptive if you want to stay alive. And this bird is a sharp one.
Nice to see Cadance being gently corrected over her attitude. It's about as logical as someone hating Cadance herself after being wronged by changelings just because both she and Chrysalis manipulate love.
9794297
Trauma rarely leads to logical reactions. Right now, Cadance is still recovering from what Chrysalis put her through, so she's very leery of any sort of shapeshifter. That's why Celestia is gently admonishing her; she recognizes that Cadance's attitude arises from the freshness of her emotional wounds, and needs a light touch because she's still in pain.
Well, your up to 13 chapters, excluding Prolog and I have to say that this is a very well written story.
Your storytelling is excellent and your characters are interesting and in character. Here is a very important point in your favor. I have absolutely zero experience with "World Of Darkness" (I think thats the cross over) and I have no trouble keeping up with the story at all. This is proof of a well written crossover. The reader shouldn't need any knowledge of either world in order to follow the story. Your one of the few writers that does this extremely well.
Often writers will either give no info at all, expecting all readers to be familiar in the first place, or they beat the reader over the head with pages of world-Lore in painful, dictionary / academic styled chapters. Reading very much like a University lecture given by a dry professor. Ive encountered both recently and even lambasted a writer for having paragraphs of nothing but "+10 this when added with the red blue macguffin, but only at level 20. ", etc, etc, etc. As you can imagine, I lost interest. Not only that I couldn't care less, but it has zero impact on the story at all. After all, does the reader really need to know anything more than the fact that the Blue blade is sharp?
Anyway, your on the right track and your story has kept me very interested from the start.
Well done and Im looking forward to more.
The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller
Well the princess lost iq points because secret and twilight go together like a fire and hydrogen.
Also why the fuck has twilight not called fluttershy when she is dealing with a raven.
Does twilight know a translation spell?
The thing is dawn probably saw them anyway because the peicful nature of the guard means that their so called elite groups are just ones who use armor enchanted by proffessionals to make up for skill.
I kind of want Dawn to tell Shining that the reason she could see them is because the guard is basicly mall cops.
9805228
Thank you. That's kinda the approach I'm trying to take: give enough context for someone without knowledge of World of Darkness to follow along, but not ignore the fact that D.W. is coming from that perspective.
9805255
9805256
Well, Twilight already knows a whole bunch about D.W. thanks to her little trip into the dreamscape with Luna, so the cat's kinda out of the bag in that regard. Celestia's thinking was that since Twi already knew about D.W., she was as good a contact for her as any. Also, Twi's in charge of D.W.'s language and cultural education, while the bulk of the details of D.W.'s objectives regarding the changelings were given not to Twilight, but to Spike.
Regarding Fluttershy, Twilight wasn't exactly sure what she was dealing with, so she didn't involve Flutters because she wasn't sure if it was safe. Remember, D.W. may look like a raven, but she's chock full of solar essence, which no mortal creature should have. And she wasn't going to pull Flutters away from her job just to stake out the town on the off chance that she'd encounter D.W.
As an aside, Flutters wouldn't have actually made much of a difference, because while D.W. looks like a raven, she isn't one. Even if she was in corvis form, Flutters wouldn't have been able to communicate with her, because she's a wereraven, not an actual raven. D.W. will eventually encounter Flutters, but not for a little while yet.
As far as a translation spell is concerned, in this world, that's alicorn level magic. Twilight doesn't have access to that sort of thing at this time.
9805255
I think because she knows from the beginning its not a raven. Doesn't know what it was, but knew it was not a Raven.
The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study hard and be evil." - Reykan
9805761
Perhaps Flutters may have more influence than you think. I know she is a were raven, but didn't you say, in the story or a comment, that Ravenbutt was "born" a raven, and became basically a werehuman? Starting off a raven, would leave that base programming in there, giving Flutterbutt a higher chance at communication. I doubt it would be at her normal Dr. Doolittle levels, but it may give her an empathy, or silent communication type of thing. (I may have misread that "Started a raven" part.)
BTW, if you like this idea and want to use it, I can easily delete this post to prevent spoilage.
Just a thought that occurred to me while bathroom thinking.
The Monk
Her hands were still bound with rope, she debated an escape before all the stupidity gave her an aneurysm. -Scarheart
9806129
No worries. Thing with D.W., and the fera in general, is that they're binary beings, in that they're effectively half spirit, half flesh. Thus, even if she was born a raven, she stopped being one after her first change (when she underwent her first transformation into her crinos [half raven, half human] form). Mentally, she's still more raven than human (or pony in this case), but she's a decidedly supernatural in nature. In WoD, there are abilities that allow other supernatural creatures to communicate with animals (some vampires have this power, as do certain faeries). But these abilities don't work on fera, because they aren't animals in the strictest sense.
Now, D.W. might actually get along okay with Flutters when they finally meet, but even in corvis form, they're not going to be able to effectively communicate. If anything, its going to be an odd experience for Flutters, who's not used to not being able to speak with any animal.
This is some fantastic stuff thus far. It's not every day you see a character who misses the World of Darkness, but Dawn certainly has a good reason for doing so. She has a job to do, after all, to say nothing of the friends and mate she left behind. Hopefully she can find ponies and others who can take the place of the former. I'm less optimistic about the latter, but Fluttershy might be able to arrange something if Dawn's willing to look.
Eagerly looking forward to more. Especially since Dawn can't avoid Pinkie Pie for too much longer...
9807322
Glad you're liking it so far. Part of the reason Dawn has a problem with the ponies is they're very Weaver oriented, and she's not a fan of the Mad Spider. Its one of the reasons she likes hanging out in the Everfree; its the most Wyld oriented place she can find.
When D.W. and Pinkie do eventually meet, they're probably going to get along pretty well, since one of D.W.'s besties back home is a Nuisha. And D.W., despite being kinda a grump most of the time (though if we're honest, its mostly that she's not happy about her situation), does have a sense of humor and enjoys a good laugh. We just haven't really gotten a chance to see that side of her. Yet.
Poor Dawn. She's in desperate need of some catharsis. I can say pretty confidently that I'm looking forward to reading about the delightfully torturous fate she'll likely mete out to the changeling that's decided to set up shop in the life of its' (maybe) latest victim. Doubly so if a dying message makes it to Chrysalis and puts her on edge. Oh what fun there will be to be had!
9808449
Well… TBH, Dawn doesn't have anything against the changeling personally, so if she does end up going after it, she's going to be all business. The reason her mind went to the "agonizing torture" route with the Malfean is she blames him specifically for her circumstances, so its personal. Until the changelings make it personal, she's going to treat them with the same professionalism she does any other Wyrmspawn: if she's got to kill them, make it simple and quick.
9809601
Oh, okay. Fair enough. My mind put too much emphasis on the mage in question being aligned with wyrm and didn't consider the 'personal' angle enough.
9809983
No worries. Its all good.
I can't wait for the next one. this is so good
"Buttoo" is a brilliant description of cutie marks. Kudos.
In any case, this is deeply concerning. Sure, this could just be a few changelings cycling through a lot of different disguises... or it could be one for each. There's really no telling the scale of the issue right now, and Dawn can't exactly tell Twilight or any of the other local heavy hitters about the problem. This could prove tricky...
9816857
Thank you.
9816882
Well, Dawn's a corax. Its almost genetically impossible for her not to snark. As for the extent of the problem, thankfully figuring that out is right in her wheelhouse.
I'm not familiar with the other source material, but I just read what you've got here, and I think I'll mark it for updates.
9819592
Thank you.