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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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There are far fewer Adarity stories in the world than there should be, so a new one is always good to see!
I have to say I'm a little unsure about having a character mostly just known as More - More Modest was a nice touch as a full name, but when it's shortened just to More I don't think it works so well? I can't think of any MLP characters off the top of my head with adverb first names like that
9699529
I'm pretty sure Rainbow Dash gets referred to as just Dash or Rainbow multiples times. But I just hate typing out two names every time, hehe.
9699533 Oh I agree, lots of characters get their names shortened to just one word. But 'Rainbow' and 'Dash' are both nouns, they both function as 'things' in their own right, so a character being named 'Rainbow' carries an image with it already. Whereas 'More' is kind of empty in this context without something to follow it, whether that's 'More Modest' or 'More Cookies,' if you get what I mean?
9699536
Ahh, now I see your point, and you're right there. I just hate writing out longer full names and I want him to seem informal... Not that it really matters he might show up once more since this story isn't about him. I put in OCs when I need a character but I don't do OCs personally.
I think maybe this would be clearer if one side of the conversation here were in italics or something? Otherwise it sort of all runs together and it's hard to know where the changes are. Might look like this:
Rarity has a lot more anger towards Adagio than I'd expect, between the diamond attack and the slut comment, that seems quite extreme for someone she only saw for a few days in Rainbow Rocks
Ooh, I like the idea of her manufacturing diva moments for career gain, and keeping the important people in the loop. Definitely an Adagio moment here
9699548
Hehe, well the thought process is actually meant to be muddled like that because it's literally her thinking at herself. I mean when I thought process myself my brain isn't actually another entity responding to me, it's me responding to me.
Well, I meant the diamond attack to come off more like what she did to Applejack in Everfree, only this time there was a wall instead of a lake behind her. Rarity did it after turning and finding someone she perceives as hostile right in her face, not as an active attack to hurt Adagio.
And Rarity did just see Adagio for a few days, but those few days were trying to brainwash the school and get her to fight with her friends to feed of their emotions. The magnitude of a crime is not defined by its length. (I am totally just trying to sound fancy there. :D) And I mean... I am portraying Adagio as... Very naughty in a sexual way in this fic.
Finally! We get to the good stuff!
9702450
Bwahahaha! I am both amused and deeply offended! :D
9702455
I'm not saying the rest of it isn't good but I've been waiting for the more mature side of the story, eagerly.
Adagio and Rarity are one of my favorite pairings.
9702458
Hehe, I wasn't actually "deeply offended" but I thought it was a clever comeback. :D
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I know I just like throwing in little comments here and there.
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And comments make Jhoira a happy Jhoira! ^.^
PEEK — To take a quick look at
PEAK — to reach the top or climax of
PIQUE — French, to prick or poke. In English used mainly in the phrases ‘to pique one’s interest’ and ‘in a fit of pique’.
9702498
Oh did I put peak somewhere I meant to put peek?
Aha! Since you didn't quote it there is no evidence of it anymore! MUHAHAHA!
Well I mean adagio has blackmail material now
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But will Adagio use it...?
Adagio, obviously.
9703898
Hah!
I don't know why but when Rarity asked "why...?" I could picture her having a broken voice like it cracks and she starts to cry.
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Poor Rarity, I apparently like giving her emotional problems in Equestria Girls.
This was the perfect way to end this chapter.
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Hehe, thank you. I had the idea near the end of writing the chapter and was like "Oh I can't not do this!"
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Please tell me Red Drop is going to be teasing them more throughout this. I like him as a character.
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You will never know! MUHAHAHAHA!
9709563
Hehe, someone doesn't like happy stories it seems.
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Hehe, I'm inordinately proud of that as well.
How ironic this chapters name is. If you compare it to the others release date it is delayed.
9718532
Hehe, they just come out whenever.
Didn't even realize this was one of your stories when I started it. Now I do because you most definitely have my attention now. Well done so far, and this moment is the first of I'm guessing many payoffs to come. Looking forward to it.
9726012
You didn't realize because I'm so cute and innocent you don't think I can write anything even remotely naughty? How sweet! ^.^
9726528
We will definitely go with that
God why haven't I followed you yet, you are too much fun.
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Gasp! Are you saying that you expect me to write naughty stories!?
9726685
No, of course not. Why in the world would you think such a thing
Btw, naughty doesn't even really count if the story is really good. This isn't a naughty story, is a really good story... that happens to be a little naughty.
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And yes I do expect really good stories from you. Feel free to accuse me of that one
9727146
*Snickers* No I have another based around my Sunset and Rarity one (I'm writing a lot of EQG Rarity) that may have an actual sex scene or might not, I'm undecided.
9727147
Oh you're so naughty
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I am not! <.< >.>
9727394
Congratulations, you have earned a spot on The List!
i.postimg.cc/sDLsnphg/Princess-Columbia-s-List-Badge.png
Your story, Seducing Success, was considered worthy of spreading around to as large an audience as possible. The blog post explaining why can be found here.
Is this story still Going to continue? I'm interested in reading more of this story.
9913046
It will I promise! I just have a problem with writing fluff because it’s so cute and fluffy instead of serious like this one! And sadly I don’t have as much free tine as when I started this.
9913079
Take your time and thanks!
Just curious by the cover art: Will the two get each other's clothing mixed up at some point? ^^;
9922554
Hehe, it was really the only even vaguely "fashion" related for the two of them :D
I have no artist friends so I have to scavenge what I can find. A fair number of my covers are scenes from the show or made from poorly matched vector images. :D
9922573
:P
The question though, will it happen at some point? ^^;
9922578
Hehe, wasn't planning on it but you never know... What happens at the time share... :D