- Member Since 16th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen Yesterday
Dusk Melody
I wish I was enough. But I'm not and never will be.
Dusk Melody
Joined 16th Oct, 2014 ·
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Dusk Melody · 84k words · 21 6 · 454 views
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Don't worry Adagio, as someone who sleeps next to a road where loads of Loud vehicles drive by, I can assure you'll get used to it.
I'm... kinda squeamish when it comes to blood, so when I read the bleeding wound... ugh...
Still, this is an interesting story here, definitely makes me wonder, what the heck comes next?
Keep up the good work.
9714165
Chapters will be released once a week on a Friday. You won't have long to wait.
9714182
Got it.
I have always found The Sirens interesting, their concept, their origins, everything about them I liked and I feel they deserve more attention in Equestria Girls. I have read many fanfictions about them, most of the time, it is about them either struggling to live without their powers and now mortality, which is just conjecture that would even happen, or they attempt revenge against The Rainbooms. There are a handful of them that talk about them separating afterwards because they can't stay together anymore. I personally don't believe they would ever actually separate, as it had been suggested they had been roaming the earth for a long time together. They are very close and I think it would be hard to drive them apart.
As for what you're doing with Adagio? It's different than anything I've seen anyone else do with her. I've usually seen her portrayed as a very vengeful person, and perhaps a manipulative, but a good leader. She never let failure keep her down, something I assume she'd get from living and failing so long. But, she's never failed this hard before, her failure never caused her and the others to have taken away what they are.
I still don't agree that they would leave each other, but I do agree using them losing their powers as a catalyst for their separation does make sense. As I interpreted it, the story takes place after all this. Adagio has lost meaning in life, she lost who she was as a siren, she lost the only two people she cared about in her life, she lost everything because of her failure, and it broke her. This story shows just how much a single failure can destroy a person, how much it can destroy their self-worth, how much it can take away their motivation, how it can tear down who someone is as a person. It is obvious she is experiencing some form of PTSD from the battle of the bands, which makes sense considering it was the moment that completely ruined her life.
Adagio becoming suicidal, or at least having suicidal tendencies, I saw as an interesting touch. Her life is over, she is blaming herself for ruin her life and the lives of the people she cares about, that is good justification for wanting death. Though I feel like you could touch on the fact that she wants to die due to the fact she can now die, and the long life of being an immortal had made her want death, at least a little. That is something I've seen some people do with immortal characters. I don't know if this is intended to be a redemption story, or just a story to show how much failure can affect a person. Either way, I will be continuing to read to find out.
Damn, this is sad but a very good concept of the Dazzlings. I eagerly await more of your work my Friend.
Quick question does this take place at continuation of the previous story or is it in the same world and that’s it where is it going to be crossover characters from your previous story
9714971
That one. In "To Be Everfree" the Mane 7 were side characters, here they are main (mane?) characters. Well, one of them is.
9714365
Thank you my friend. Chapters will be released every Friday. I do hope you continue to like it.
9714291
I'm so pleased you find my take on Adagio so different and new. Considering the wealth of material about her on this site alone, that's quite the compliment!
9714996
No problem my friend.
Nice way to get the hooks in from the start. Having been in the pit that Adagio is currently in, I remember all of those little voices and feelings quite well. Your description of how these ghosts haunt her is pretty spot on. I am very interested in seeing just who comes and pulls her out of this and how the tags you've included come into play.
9715893
All shall be revealed in time
Very interesting beginning. The flow was dynamic, the pace just right and the descriptions captivating, all of it mixing into a depressing, yet somehow oddly beautiful atmosphere. One so strong that even the occasional errors* didn’t break me out of it. I’m curious what the next chapters may bring!
*Mainly watch out for mixed up lay and laid.
9717434
Thanks for the feedback mate, I appreciate it so much! Stick around for the future, it gets saucy on the road to recovery.
Okay, I like where this is going so far. Keep up the work my friend.
This chapter took an...interesting turn. Not a bad one, just not one I had been expecting.
I am aware that there are the sex and fetish tags in this story, so I expected there would be stuff like that, just not the way it went. First off, I enjoy the way this started. The first chapter gave me the impression that The Sirens had broken up, I'm glad I was wrong about this. This shows that even after Adagio had failed, Sonata and Aria still care about her. It makes a lot of sense Aria would be the one who comes and checks on her, she was obviously the more direct one out of the three. Her reaction to Adagio's living situation, and particularly her reaction to Adagio's scars, feel very real and in character for her.
Aria then reveals she had the idea of giving Adagio a pet to give her meaning in life, which is a very fair assumption and a legit working method in real life for people who show sings of depression and suicidal tendencies, there are emotional support animals for a reason. I'm just slightly confused on how exactly Aria set up this appointment. If she had called the place and Fluttershy just happened to work there, that makes sense. But I'm getting the suggestion that Aria set it up with Fluttershy personally, which is what bothers me. Are the mane seven okay with Aria and Sonata now, or is it just with Fluttershy? Either way, will other members of the mane seven be important somehow later? A bit of clarification on this relationship would be appreciated.
Now this is when things get a little wonky.
Aria drops off Adagio at the pet store, which I find a bit strange. She knows at this point that Adagio sees no meaning in life and no point in doing anything, so why would she settle on just watching her enter and then leaving? If she doesn't trust her not to just enter and then leave, wouldn't it make more sense for Aria to go in with her? though I do think that could be blamed on naivete, Aria does not seem like a naive person.
Fluttershy workng at a pet store makes sense and is entirely in character, her interactions with Adagio is what I feel is a bit off. Fluttershy having a bondage/ master slave fetish is something I've seen done before, it also isn't too strange for her to have these fetishes. But I feel like she was too...forward? Confident? Fluttershy may be kind, but she is also kind of a scaredy cat. Adagio may be human now, but Fluttershy would be justified to still be a bit afraid, if not worried, especially considering it's Fluttershy. I might believe that Aria had convinced her Adagio was no threat, but there's not really a lot of reason for her to trust Aria either.
Her forwardness with flirting with Adagio is also a bit off, she seems very confident, which is not at all Fluttershy. She might be different when it comes to sex and sexual related things, but that does not seem like something she'd be with someone she really doesn't know, certainly not an ex-enemy. Adagio's willingness is...believable, honestly. Her will is broken and her life means nothing, she doesn't have much of a reason to care about anything. But I still feel she'd be somewhat more resistant, especially when it comes to sexual stuff, she seems like she'd be a dominant. Though if she's a switch it makes sense, but I just don't feel like she'd trust someone who kind of took away what she was. At least not with something like letting her put a collar and stuff around her, she might not really care about much anymore, but she doesn't seem stupid.
Everything after that is fine, it fits the rest of the theme you've been putting so far. With the exception of two things. The first being that Adagio claims to never have dated, never. Out of the centuries she's been on the earth, the hundreds of humans she's met, how curious and bored she must have gotten at times, she never once tried dating? Ever? That just sounds unrealistic, though I guess not entirely out of the realm of possibility if she believes herself to be far superior to humans and that they aren't even worth her effort. The other issue is the fact that she didn't get a pet, which was kind of the whole point of her going there. I get that it set up the whole pet play thing, which I don't mind, I can like pet play. It also served the purpose of giving Adagio a reason to live, in a sort of roundabout way. So it kind of all worked out, actually better because now she has Fluttershy caring for her. But Aria is still expecting Adagio to have some kind of pet, though I assume this will be explained somehow in later chapters.
Over all, this story is progressing interestingly. It seems to be both a story that does very kinky sexual story, along with being a redemption story. Which I've never seen done successfully, but this one seems to be doing fairly well so far. I'm interested to see where this goes.
9727009
You make a good point about Fluttershy. My co-author Zervon Tora and I spoke at great length about the character we wanted Fluttershy to have. We agreed that in general, EG Fluttershy is not a timid scaredy cat. With the exception of two examples, one being in EG1 when mean Sunset is bullying her against the lockers and two, in Rainbow Rocks when Snips & Snails chase her with the light when they sing "Shake Your Tail", EG Fluttershy is shown to be far more confident and self assured than her equine counterpart.
Examples are when Mr Cranky had her do the math thing in front of the whole class, teaching Sunset to drive, calming Twilight in Friendship Games and with RD on the rollercoaster in Rollercoaster of Friendship, plus she stood up to Vignette in Me, Myselfie and I.
Another reason for her confidence was the fact that she was in her environment. In the pet store surrounded by animals she was the queen of her kingdom, so to speak. Aria did call ahead, which happened 'off screen', so she was forewarned. The fact that she ended up being a pet rather than getting one will be addressed in the next chapter.
The reactions of the main cast will be addressed in upcoming chapters. The main cast are paired off with each other and there will be an 'interlude' chapter that brings the main cast in, just as there will be one such chapter with Aria & Chestnut and Sonata & Wallflower. In fact, one of the main cast's reactions will play a huge part in the story coming up.
I really hope you continue to read and enjoy the story, and I continue to look forward to your comments.
Dusk.
Hmm, Fluttergio, or Adashy, I can't pick a pet name for this pairing. *rimshot*
Speaking seriously, I was a bit worried about the length of the chapter: 8000+ words is, like, four times the size of last chapter.
But, this was a decent chapter nonetheless. I'm not someone who cares much for fetishes, but I give credit where credit's due, this fetish has a point in the story.
Keep up the good work, I'll see how things go from here.
P.S.: is Sonata coming next chapter? Just curious.
I think pet play makes perfect sense as a kink for Fluttershy. Her shyness seems to never include her relationship with animals, where she is always in charge of the relationship. It seems perfectly natural to me that as soon as she sees Adagio as a pet, Fluttershy is able to deal with her from a position of leadership and confidence.
Also, maybe I'm reading too much between the lines, but Aria didn't really intend for Adagio to get a pet at the pet store; she was really knowingly setting Adagio up with a Dom who would take control of her and get her life on track. At least that's how I read it.
Loved the update. I'm excited to see what comes next.
9727276
Well, Aria did intend Adagio to get a pet, what happened was just a very happy accident. You are right, in that where animals are concerned, Fluttershy is far from shy. In her space, she is the queen, as it were. Plus I don't see EG Shy as being all that shy anyway.
9727274
Sonata will be in an upcoming chapter, as will the main cast
9727316
Got it.
interesting plot for the second chapter this got me inspired and hope that this can give me an idea for my story.
9737246
Oh? Planning a pet play story?
9737466
just a pinch
9737922
Can I get details in a pm, promise I won't tell anyone
So this is a Dagishy story?
9739087
Yes it is. Very much so.
9739159
Thanks, now I know where to put it in the Uncommon Dazzling Ships group.
As someone struggling hard with depression right now and having struggled with it for awhile? And with Adagio as my favorite original EG character(besides Sunset of course) it hurts to see the once mighty siren brought so low. But in a strange way I feel a sense of comfort reading this...is that weird to say? I feel like it's kinda wrong to say that but I dunno. I usually steer away from stories about suicide and depression because my thoughts tend to run away with me.
Either way. Great story so far. ^_^
Bruh xD
9739819
I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the story. It gets racier from here!
Much better chapter! The pacing and timing were very good and the scene flowed very well. Also, nice sparing use of body descriptors for Adagio. Much improved from the last chapter.
A question, as I picture Dagi in this, she's a little over weight, pudge here and there and all that. But when I read how you describe her, I sometimes get the feeling that you might be wanting to portray her as obese or a SSBBW. Which is the proper character type? If she's merely a little chunky, you might want to use some other descriptors than "fat" (curvaceous and soft are two of my favs). If she is obese, then I think you are hitting the mark.
A 9/10 chapter (Sorry, just didn't care for Dagi using her litter box, but that's not a criticism, just a personal preference) and GREATLY improved from Chapter 2. Looking forward to the next one!
I never expect Fluttershy to be the master but I'm liking this story so much!
Not a lot to say about this chapter.
I noticed it went into more fetishes, like feet, nudity, etc. The the whole thing with the litterbox kind of bothered me, but that's just cuz I'm not really into that. I will say the bit of building that was done here is interesting. Such as Adagio being a bit afraid of people, though that could very well be because of what she was wearing and buying. The part where Aria came unexpectedly was also interesting to me, though I feel like she was a bit too ok with what has happening.
Now there are two things in this chapter that really interested me. The part where they were talking about Pinkie and how they were scared of her. I'm not entirely sure whether that was just meant to be idle chatter, or if it was meant to be taken as foreshadowing for something. I'm also not sure exactly why they were afraid of her. Because of her forward, care free personality? Or if there another reason.
Also, the last thing about Applejack also being Fluttershy's pet I find interesting. I'd like it to be explored a bit more about the sexual relationships she has with other people.
Adagio has a point
Took me a while, but I finally got around to catching up on this story. This was a really fun chapter, I was glad to see more of the dynamic between the kinky Mane 6.
9763776
Trust me, more of that will come in future chapters.
I'm not really into pet play but the story is extremely interesting I can't stop reading.
9771429
Oh wow I'm so pleased to hear that! I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
This chapter was cute and sweet.
9778221
Thank you! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it. What stuck out to you?
9778244
I'm really enjoying the development of their relationship outside of the fetish elements. They flirt cute, and its fun. I'm excited to see more.
Ever thought about putting some sort of mask on fluttershy's pet and dress her up a little, so that nobody recognises her but have her consent to take her out to play with.
As in to go and play with Twilight's friends...
These two are cute together. I like the idea that Wallflower's experiences would turn her into an exhibitionist.
Wall-e as a sexy pet name is a bit weird, though. All I can think about is the Pixar robot.
9795681
Don't question it, it's Sonata's logic. That way madness lies.
Curse you and your cliffhangers! But really, can't wait for the next chapter.
Dash got off easy.
9804978
Butt there were consequences. Mostly to RD's butt.
As someone who still struggles with depression and has attempted suicide before, I know those feelings.