• Member Since 6th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

CrazedLaughter


I write weird stuff.

T

(Original version written by Jay David can be found in this link) https://www.fimfiction.net/story/441469/assisting-evil

The story is just 'Dorkly's" Kevin character helping Nightmare Moon with her plan.

I just felt Jay's version of Kevin wasn't true enough to the original and wanted to give it a shot. I am aware Nightmare Moon is flanderized, so is everyone else in the Kevin shorts. If I failed, I failed, but here's the ole college try.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 43 )

In a way it made me think of Anon talking shit to Nightmare Moon just like that Grogar chapter. This was funny AF

I really like this version better, good job!

Pretty funny. I suppose the sudden turn of him just telling her what to do is part of his thing?

jpony #4 · June 24th · · ·

sounds like something Kevin would do, just look what he did to Mario and sonic

This is we what I was expecting from the other version! Please do more chapters of Kevin and other villains

9696992

I would, but it doesn't seem to be as much as a success as i expected. I'll have to admit that i lost with this one as it didn't make the views i was hoping for.

I actually really like this one. It has a lot more of the aggression that Kevin has in the actual Dorkly shorts than what I put for him in my own story. I'll try and work on that when I get around to making my Discord chapter :twilightsmile:

9697169
Looking forward to it

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HER TO GO AWAY WITH THE EQUIVALENT OF CRAZY FOREST HOBOS! NOBODY LISTENS TO CRAZY FOREST HOBOS!

That made me laugh, I won't deny it. he whole thing's a little too bloody for my tastes, but it's funny, I won't deny it.

9696530
what grogar chapter?

CL ...... What is that?

9697398
CrazedLaughter. As in my user handle

This is by far the superior version! :))
Needlessly cruel :heart:

9697394
Anon joins Grogar's Group (Dadonequus Discord)

9697169
Or you could rewrite ending a little, so he will be like actual Kevin.
I don't mean that in the ending Nightmare Moon must win, but mainly him being scared of her and backing off isn't like him. It's not Kevin from Dorkly shorts, it's any other human assistant named Kevin

People will probably stop reading after 1 chapter, beceause they will think it's not worth reading about Kevin who isn't assertive like in Dorkly shorts, which is probably why they started reading it.

Don't worry about the views. Worry about what people are saying. And everyone is saying that this version is the better one.

9698149


We'll have to see then. I'll have to do some planning, and see how Jay handles his next chapter before I make a move. The other villains didn't make a huge series of errors like Nightmare Moon did, and Kevin worked with VG characters because they exist in a long series. NM was easy because she had a whole series of traps that could be picked apart. And Cozy Glow got deus ex'd by a tree.

It actually makes me think of Kevin from Dorkly, excellent job!

9698262
i mean. it is?

9697169
Before I say this next part I want to preface it by saying I love your work. You having Adagio work at the Canterlot Spa did inspire my ship between Bulk and her after all. However, although I have seen you write naughty and hostile, I have never seen you write nasty. The special kind welling up within a soul that just can't take the stupid anymore and has to slap a bitch to stop themselves from Omnicide.

Also, do not change the first chapter, Kevin has never worked with a villain as crazed as Nightmare Moon. Your first chapter works as the beginning of a longer story. This one works only as a one shot. Two different stories, doing different things.

My only piece of actual advice is use kevin to vent all the stuff you swallow in a day. All the times you bite back your words to prevent hurt feelings, all the times you walked away because it just wasn't worth it, pour all of it through him. Kevin is pure honesty, indifferent and cruel. Use that. I look forward to your next chapter.

I was having a really hard time thinking of a comment here. I was originally going to like appear at Zecora's door, knock it, and slid a note under door that says "There is this human named Kevin who assaulted you by call you a 'crazy forest hobo,' who is also responsible for the explosions that happened both inside and outside of the forest." (I replaced the last part) But that doesn't do justice because of... reasons I can't remember. So instead the note will be "Zecora, your ower only hope." :pinkiehappy: (I don't how that spelled) Should I put the together?

9698650
To be fair, in zecora's first ep, no one but applebloom listened to her. She was the 'Evil Enchantress' to everyone

9698913
Have you seen season 5 finale? Cause it is possible they can listen to her now.

9698920
I have seen every episode so far. Take note this story takes place on the first 2 episodes before they meet zecora

The beginning was rather rocky, but it largely made up for itself in the second half.
Particularly nice bit with the missile. A solid reference without going overboard.

Well, this Kevin's attitude hits home a lot more than the other one.

Huh. Neat

9698513
What I mean is I can actually imagine it being Kevin from Dorkly, and not some other human assistant named kevin.

An interesting idea, having two authors write a story from two different perspectives.

I think the whole Kevin series highlights some villains unwillingness (or lack of desire) to kill off the heroes. I think the Joker from The Dark Knight said it best, "I won't kill you, cause you're just too much fun."

Huh, neat.

Great work on this.

The missile at the end seems completely superfluous - by this point, Nightmare Moon has already captured Celestia. Why bother?

9734541

to make sure she can never make a comeback. It's not like Kevin hasn't personally dealt with the main enemies of his boss before. (i.e: Red Hate and Green Hat)

One of the few fanfics to make me die of laughter! Loved it!

9747481
[CrazedLaughter intensifies]

Please tell me you'll make more like this...

9779465

Probably not, if i do make one, itll have to top this

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