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Station to Station1,362 words
my lawyer will Never Let me Down1,902 words
we go outside1,573 words
Diamond Dogs2,678 words
Let's Dance3,566 words
The Pony who Sold the WOrld3,001 words
The Rise and Fall of Detective jakkid166 and the Ponies from Equestria6,132 words

Diamond Dogs

"Shit they escaped!" said Twilight "Okay we have gotta chase after them. Everybody get in the cata pult quick!"

"Wait Twilight!" said Pinkie. "Look, the catapults batteries are dead."

"DAMMIT" said Twilight "What ar we gonna do now?"

just then Luna swam up to them and said "What the helleth you guys! I thought you wa gonna recapture jakkid!"

"Im sorry master I will not let you down again," said Twilight. "We wil track him down!"

"You better," said Luna and she gave them a GPS "Here useth this."

"What does this GPS do?" said Rainbow.

"It tracketh detective jakkid166," said Luna "But its broken so it doesnt do anything. Now go out and findst them!" she said.

"Aye aye captain!" said however many ponies there were and they ran off.

~ MEANWHILE ~

"Man this sucks" I said while I was soarin through the air with Dick America after bein flung by the catapult. "Now im on the run like some guy who got framed for assassionation."

"Dont worry jakkid we will find who did this," said Dick America. "Murders make me real angry" he said and he made his eyebrows angry to show me how angry murder makes him. but it wasnt enough to get point across so he used a marker to make his eyebrows look even more angry.

"Wow that is pretty angry." I said and I sighed and pulld up a chair and sat in it. "Stil I hope you are right. I cannot live while framed for muder."

"Well we will hit the ground in like 5 minutes," said America "So it shud not be too much time."

"Cool," I said. It took me 5 minutes to finish saying that though so by the time I did we was almost hit the ground

"Shit brace for impact!" said Dick Amercica and I SLAMMED into the ground and made hole shaped like myself, like in Tooney Lunes. But Dick America jus floated to the ground cause hes a ghost.

"Holy gigafuck!" I said and I jump outa the hole. "Wow this hole looks pretty cool. Im gonna take it as a souveneir." and I peeled the hole off tha ground and put it in my pocket. "Hey Dicko I got a question."

"What is it" said Dick America the ghost detective who is my adopted cousin.

"If Celestia is dead why cant she just rule as a ghost?"

"Alicorns cant become ghosts," said Dick. "Because of magic or something"

"Oh ok." and I got onto my fees. "Where to hell are we, anyway?"

"Exactily where we ned to be," said Dick and he point to the mountain we land next to. There was a big hole in it that things might be inside

"What is that place?" I said.

"That is called a cave," said Dick America. "I think its the cave weve been looking for. Come on lets go as hell"

so Dick and I and Dick went into the cave. it was dark but I use my Bright Optimism to shine the way. And also a flashlight

"What kind of idiot lives in the dark?" I said "How ar they gonna chop up vegetables witout cutting themselves?"

"I dunno jakkid," said Dick. "But this is a realy old looking cave so theres probably a light switch somewhere. We just gotta find it." but before he could finish finishing his setence, we both got KNOCKED OUT by something!

~ LATER TIME ~

We both woked up and we were tied to chair. We were in a room that had like 14 walls wich make me feel really castrophobic. There was a table and a big miror on the wall which I used to see a zit on my face that I wanted to pop but could not because we were tied up.

"Shit!" said me. "What happend!"

"We got captured," said Dick. "We wil have to talk our way outa this with our detective skill ets."

and the one of the walls opened and in walked a guy. He looked like a dog exept really stupid looking and on two legs instead of three. He stand in front of us and said "Okay bitches, why the hell you two sneaking in our ancient cave with light switches installed?"

"Dident you hear idiot?" said Dick America. "Princess Celestia got assasinated! And we found a lead to this place which make us think you guys cold have a connection to her murder."

"That's very idiot of you," said the dog. "You shoulda known better than to sneak into the Diamond Dogs!"

"Wait," I said. "You are called Diamond Dogs. Is that a David Bowie reference?"

"Yes," said the diamond dog.

"Aw sweet! Since we have tha same music taste that mean you should untie us."

"That makes sense" he said and he untied us. "My name is Nicholas Dog by the way. So what the hell bring connection from Celestias murder to us?"

"This diamond," said Dick and he pull it out of his ghost pocket. "Is it yours?"

"HMM" said the Nicholas. "Yes this is one our diamonds. But I, the leader of Diamond Dogs, know that nonea us could ever murder Celestia because she is too invincible. Besides, we have no motive!"

"Ok fair enough." said me. "But can we still ivestigate for clues? This is realy important to me cause if I dont solve this case I will get turned to stone."

"Sure," said Diamond Dog. "I will give you two Visitor Passes and then I can give you tour of the place." so he scan his keycard in the door and left out away and then came back with the passes.

We walked out and went to th first room. "This is the diamond mining room," said him and he open the door and
show us a buncha Diamond Dogs mining stuff out of rocks and cements.

"What do they do in here?" said Dick.

"This is where they mine stuf like rubies and sappires and garnets and amethists and pearls and stevens."

"But where do they mine diamonds?" said me

"In the secret room you ar not allowed to know about at the end of the hall," said Nicholas. "You cannot go in there."

"Oh ok." said Dick. "I guess if we dont know about it we cant go in. Oh well, anyway it is night time now so can we stay the night? We hav nowhere to go right now because jakkid is wanted fudgitive from the law."

"Yeah sure why not" said Nicholas. "But dont sneak around the place at night and discover our dark secrets!"

"Dont worry we wont," said Dick. "So where can we sleep for the night?"

"I know jus the perfect place," said Nicholas and he open the door. "This is the room of really loud machines that never turn off. You can sleep here"

"Perfect!" said Dick and we went in there to sleep for the night hours.

~ A HOUR LATER ~

"Dammit I cant sleep for some reason," Dick said.

"Yeah you right," said me. "Also do you not hear that?"

"No I don't not hear it," said Dick. "What is it"

"Its the sound of nothing happening!"

"WHAT?" said Dick and he shat up. "But wherr could that be coming from?"

I shove my fist into my mouth to help me think better. "Mngghnmgmnh," I said, which is actualy muffle speak for "It must be comin from the secret room we are not allowed to go in! We gota go investigate."

"But!" said Dick.

"No buts," I said. "Rember the detective creed! If there is suspicious, you always investiginate."

"Yeah youre right," said Dick and we went to our door. But it was LOCKED!

"Shit they lock us in!" said DIck. "Water we gonna do?"

"Wait!" I said and I point my nose at the window. "There is a window to the hall!"

"But the window is made of glass," said Dick. "And glass doesnt have door knobs!"

"Dont worry ive got an idea," I said and I reach into my detective pocket and pulled out a lamp. "Phoenix Wright once use one of these to get outta a sticky situation."

"What you fuck is that?" said Dick America.

"This is a MAGIC lamp." I said. "Watch"

and I threw the lamp at the window and it broke the window and we climbed out.

"Wow that WAS like magic!" said Dick.

So we startd wanking down the hall, but when we got to the dor to the secret room, it was locked too.

"WHat now?" said Dick.

"Simple" I said and I grab a sledge hammer and used it to BASH THE DOOR DOWN but i did it real quietly so no one wold hear us. We went into the room and there was a ton of square boxes and rectangle boxes.

"Crap it was a false alarm I guess" said Dick. "Theres nothing ilegal about boxes, unless the boxes are made of cocaine."

"WAIT!" I said and I got my magifnying glass out and inspect one of the boxes hard. "Wait a fuck! Theese boxes ARE made of cocaine!"

"WHAT?" said Dick.

"YES!" I said and I look around more and the FLOOR and WALLS and SHELVES and CEELING were ALL also made of cocaine! I opened a box and there was tons of bags of cocaine in them too.

"Shit!" said Dhit. "What could this mean?"

"I dunno." and I looke in another box and therr was a bunch of files. "Hey lookat this!" said detective jakkid166 to Dick America. I pulled out a file and the file said this:

CLIENT NAME: BRAD JOKE

PURCHASED 50 POUNDS COCAINE

But then we hear another sound. It came from the di rection of the other door in the room. We went to the dor and opened it and what we saw SHOCKED our EYES!

It was TONS of diamond dogs who were all at tables making cocaine. They was mixing all the ingerdients together for cocaine and baking coca cola to ex tract the cocaine from it.

"Shit!" I said. "You know what this MEEEEEANS?"

"What?" said America.

"The Diamond Dogs mining is actualy a front for their secret cocaine dealing operation!"

"Holy shirt!" said Dick. "Thats realy bad! We gota bust them nuts!"

"Yeah," I said "Come on lets go." but then IRON BARS shutted over the entarnce door and the ALARMS went off!

"CRAP!" said me. "They musta had non-motion detecting sensors that detected when we were not moving!" I ran at the dor and tried to bust it open with my head but my head bounce off the door and I fell into a box of cocaine and the cocaine explode all over me

"Shit jakkid you okay?" said Dick.

"Yeah I am" said me who was covered in cocaine. "Woah. Holy crap I feel weerd."

Dick looked at tha door to the cocaine making room and saw all the dogs was running into the room with us. Dick pull out his ghost gun and said "Jakkid getup we gotta fight for the future!"

"One second" I said and I grabed some cocaine and licked it. "Hey this stuff isent that bad."

"JAKKID GET TO FUCK"

but then the dogs RAN IN THE ROOM and surround us and they were really guns!

"HEY!" said one dog. "Who the shitterfuck are you?"

"We are Detective Dick America and jakkid166," said Dick "And we are here to stop you cocaine operation!"

"Yeah what he said," I said while I secretly put a bag of coke in me pocket.

"Bitch!" said a dog. "You gonna die!" and the dogs SHOOTED THEIR GUNS AT US. But the scene went into slow motion when they did that so we had enough reaction time to JUMP OUT OF THE WAY. and their bullets went all into each others guns and clogged them, so they had to fight fists instead.

So onea them ran at Dick but he picked the dog up and slam dunked him into a box of cocaine and made him get really high and he went unsonsious. Two more dogs ran to dick and were throwing snow balls made of cocaine at him but Dick used a box lid as a shield and slammd one of the Dogs so hard he got stuck in the ground. Then he grabbed himself and swung himself around so hard that he hit one of the dogs and the dog got sent crashign through a wall and then he landed on a bed and accidentally went to sleep.

Meanwhile one of the dogs ran to me but I slide under him and kick him into the air and then I grabed a expensive vase and put it where he was gonna land and he landed on the vase and broke it. "Oh no!" said the dog. "I broke the expensive vase! Now im gonne be bankrupt" he said and ran away crying. Then I closed my eyes and ran into tha crowd of dogs and punched everywhere and a ton of dogs got knock out.

Me and Dick joind up with each other and Dick pick me up and started hitting the dogs with me while I also kicked them in the face and made them have real high dentist bills.

Meanwhile Nicholas walke into the room and was like "What in the ever fucking fuck? STOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

so EVERYONE SUDDENLY STOPPED FIGHTING.

"What the FUCK ARE YOU ALL DOING?"

"Uhhhh" we all said and hide our weapon behind our backs. "Nothing"

"You idiots why are you fighing?" said Nick. "You supposed to be making cocaine!"

"He started it" said a dog and he point at me.

"HEY!" He said to me and Dick. "Whatar you two doing in here?! I told you you not supposed to go in here!"

"Yeah well we are dectives you shit fick," said me. "We have to ivestigate! And now we found out that you make cocaine!"

"Yeah so what if we make cocaine?" said Nicholas. "Whats the problem"

"Its FALSE ADVERTISING!" said Dick. "You shud be called Cocaine Dogs instead!"

"Oh yeah good point," said Nicholas. "Ok guys we are called Cocaine Dogs from now on."

"Alright" said the rest of the Cocaine Dogs.

"Now" said Nick. "You still broke in here and I dont like that."

"Yeah wel if you are making cocaine maybe you also murder celestia!" said Dick.

"No," said Nicholas. "I love celestia! She is the one who let us do all our cocaine operation underground. Besides, it wold be impossible for us to kill Celestia. Frist off, she is too far away and we dont own any cars. Second, she wa killed with a detective gun! How do diamond dogs supposed to get detective guns? Only our boss wold know something like that, cause hes really powerful."

"Oh yea good point." I said. "But jus to make sure we should talk to your boss."

"Sorry," said Nick. "Only people who buy the cocaine get to see the boss. Even us shit imployees dont know who it is."

"We will NOT buy cocaine!" said Dick. "Dectives never buy cocaine, for we is honor of glory."

"Shit!" I sayed. "We have no leads!"

"Wait jakkid," said Dick and he pull out tha file on Brad Joke. "Who is this guy who buy cocaine? Did he meet the boss?"

"Yeah he did," said Nick. "You should talk to him. Hes a comedian guy, who is performing at the Rip Off nightclub in Manehattan tomorrow night. He might have you answers."

"Damn." I said. "Alright well thanks for the help anyway."

"Yeah if you weren't tryin to help bring justice for Celestia then I wold be really mad at you, but you hav just goals so its alright."

"Sweet thanks" said Dick. "Alright come on jakkid lets go catch a flight to Manehattan quick."

"You got it," I said but I secretly ate a little more of tha cocaine I took with me.

TO BE CONTINUED

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