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Prologue: "That's one way to end a day..."1,684 words
Chapter 1: A Most Unpleasent Surprise1,654 words
Chapter 2: The Definition Of Shock3,379 words
Chapter 3: A Study In Magic4,745 words
Chapter 4: Out Of Sight, Still In Mind3,123 words
Chapter 5: Laughter's Lament5,072 words
Chapter 6: Just Out Of Reach7,937 words

Chapter 4: Out Of Sight, Still In Mind

It felt strange... a hospital really shouldn't feel this ominous, right? The white walls signifying purity, all the doctors wandering about, fixing ailment and injury with their magic and skills. It should all bring hope and pride, right?

To come here was to be offered a chance to recover... to discover that one of your friends was well and truly...

"No, no, now isn't the time to think about that... stay strong, Rarity. Fluttershy needs you to be, if no one else," Rarity whispered to herself, a look thrown back to her near-comatose friend; a spirit like that shouldn't suffer such an emotional bomb.

Ponies walking by looked to Rarity as if she were a ghost; did news really travel that quickly? They either pulled their eyes to the side in shame, or gave a sympathetic nod to the mare as they passed by. The simple acknowledgement caused Rarity's stomach to flip, keeping her eyes fixed to the floor. Her hoofsteps sounded hollow, as if she were walking through plaster, rather than across tile.

"Still hard to believe... though I doubt I'd get over something this quickly. Hmph, and to think... the only things that troubled me this much were Rainbow crashing in through my shop, and the weather playing havoc with my mane," She smirked; what cruel fate should befall the invincible pegasus. Well, as they say: misery loves company.

The double doors gave way to a gentle shove of her magic, the lobby within view, as well as all those eyes. They all simply stare at her, as if expecting some form of news. Rarity shook her head, and they all moved their eyes to each other; so few ponies, four or five at best, yet the air of sadness felt like the weight of her friends' expectations times a thousand on the unicorn's shoulders. She walked through the lobby, head held high and eyes fixed on the door; strength at this point was her greatest ally, if only to hold back the ever-growing tsunami of emotion in the depths of her mind.

It, thankfully, wasn't a long walk to Carousel Boutique, though the weight in Rarity's mind wasn't what pushed her forward, it was the eyes. The eyes belonging to everypony staring at her... all staring with some sense of knowing what transpired. Twilight didn't tell anypony, did she? No, she couldn't have... the town would be in a panic. Those knowing eyes, though... they felt like a disease burrowing into her stomach.

With a heavy slam of the door, she stumbled into the center of the Boutique and simply collapsed, Fluttershy rolling off her back as she fell into her depression. She barely managed to keep her wails to a volume that could be contained within the walls of the shop, and her tears ran unchecked in a flood.

"What happened to you, Rainbow?!" she shouted at her drawing board, though it may as well have been a pile of orange jelly in the muddled, wet world shown by her tears, "Why did you die? How? How could a pegasus as arrogant as yourself succumb?!" she pounded the floor out of rage, a flame borne of the tide crashing against her sanity. Her horn lit up in response, and a chair flew across the room; thankfully nothing of value was struck, besides the wall which now sported a rather wide crack.

A knock at the door froze Rarity's tears, and her heart skipped a beat; who could possibly- wait...

Was that humming on the other side of the door?

"Weird, Rarity usually leaves the door locked," A voice from the other side; foallish, light... oh no...

Rarity quickly pulled herself up and wiped away the evidence of her depression, setting her eyes about the room; Fluttershy! Rarity quickly picked the poor pegasus up and near tossed her into the couch, slowing her down before she hit the velvet cushions. Quick Rarity, reasoning, reasoning! She's uh... t-taking a nap, she wanted to stay for a while after the spa! Yes, perfect!

The door opened to reveal the barely lit Boutique, and a smiling Rarity sitting in the ray of light from the hole in the roof. The short unicorn furrowed her brow and walked in, looking around. Ok... Fluttershy's here, and there's a hole in the roof, and Rarity is freaking out over something, if that psychotic smile is real.

"Uhhh... Rarity?"

"Yes?!" The quick response jerked Belle back like a lasso; ok, freaky, very freaky.

"Are you... ok?" Belle backed away to the door, squinting her eyes at the crazy unicorn in the middle of the room. Maybe she should go get Twilight...

"Fine, fine, perfectly f-fine!" A sniff quickly followed.

"So why do you look so... creepy?" Belle raised an eyebrow, still unsure of whether to cross into the lair of a psycho-mare; she's seen what Twilight can do when she goes crazy.

"Er, well, y-you can see why something would trouble me!" Rarity pointed up at the new window in her roof, "A c-certain Pegasus put a hole in my roof!"

"Fluttershy?" Belle lowered her brow, looking over at the supposedly sleeping form of Fluttershy; could she really put a hole in somepony's roof? For some reason, Belle doubted it.

"No, of course not," Rarity sniffed, a shiver running through her legs, "R-Rainbow did it."

"Ahhh, yeah, that make sense. So where is she? Shouldn't she be helping you fix it?" Belle walked inside, looking around; at least they'd have a skylight now.

"No, s-she went home, flew off after me and Twilight gave her a lecture."

Were her eyes red?

"That... so? Rarity, are you ok?"

"Yes, perfectly fine, Sweetie!"

"Not when you're looking from here. Have you been crying?"

"N-No..."

Belle sat down, sliding her saddlebags off, "You have been. Your eyes look the same as mine after I cried for a while."

Rarity looked away from the filly, staring at her drawing board indignantly, "I haven't been."

"Yes, you have," Belle tapped her sister on the cheek; yep, coat's damp.

"I haven't been! I just... needed to have a shower, that's all."

"C'mon, stop lying to me, sis. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"I know there's something wrong when you can't even look at me!"

Rarity turned back and stared Belle right in the eye, her own eyes shaking. "Nothing."

Belle stared back, eyes squinting. A rustling from the couch caught the sisters' attention, and they both turn to see Fluttershy rising from it. A cloak of pink hair hid her face from the other ponies as she made her way to the door, every step as slow and deliberate as dredging through a swamp.

"Fluttershy?" Rarity moved around her sister, managing to take a step before Fluttershy raised a hoof. She weakly shook her head and lowered the hoof, wordlessly speaking volumes to her friend. Rarity simply sat down and watched Fluttershy make her exit, the click of the lock the only sign of the door ever being closed, "Fluttershy..."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, sis," Belle looked over her shoulder at Rarity, her voice mirroring the weight of the situation felt on her mind, "If Fluttershy acted like that after it... then I don't wanna know what happened."

"The sad part is, Sweetie Belle," Rarity blinked away a few tears, "You will end up finding out eventually..."

What word could describe Fluttershy right now? The way she stomped through the street as if her hooves were lead, the way her face hid behind the mask of her mane, unwanting to see the light of reality, the way her head was hung low like a pony on the way to the gallows. What single word could describe what ponies saw moving through the streets of their town?

Was there such a word? If there was, then it rested on the tip of Fluttershy's tongue, never taking that final step into recognition, yet always there in the back of her mind, giggling as it teased. Nothing passed through the pegasus' mind as she made the slow trek home, simply protecting herself from the images, the words... that doctor.

She knew something was weighing her down, making every step painful, every thought a stream of black through her mind. Any thought that turned to that multi-colored mane, that deafening sonic boom, that raucous, confident laugh, it all just melted into a disgusting poison in her stomach, causing her to retch every time it came up. What did she want? Need? What was eating at her right now, and what could be done to make it all just stop?

Stop the country, stop the world, stop Time itself... to make the world simply freeze solid so she wouldn't have to suffer this dreaded feeling any longer. Everything slipping into an eternal slumber, no more suffering, no more depression, no more anything...

No, that's horrible... think of the ponies that would be affected. They wouldn't fall apart though, they would never feel pain like this. It would just be dreams of happiness...

"What are you doing, Fluttershy...? Wishing that on everypony," she whispered to herself, a volume barely even audible to herself.

Her mind remained blank for the rest of the trip home, a long trudge through the muk of what occurred. She opened the door with a shove from her forehead and dragged herself inside. Everywhere around her, there was silence. Complete, deafening silence, despite the multitude of birds, raccoons, badgers and squirrels. All eyes locked to their caretaker as she made her way to her room.

Even Angel simply stared on in silence, moving back slightly as Fluttershy passed.

Silence. Maybe that was what she needed... silence. The quiet of her bedroom, of a house full of guests that respected their host enough to know when to stay quiet.

She climbed onto her bed and sat down, staring at the covers under her. Brushing a hoof through her mane, she moved the worn mask back over her head in a sweep to reveal bloodshot eyes, tears still flowing from them. How long had Fluttershy known that rainbow-maned speed demon? That ever-present sign of motivation in her life, all the way from Flight School to Ponyville. Always holding her up when she was down, always defending her when she was being bullied... and she only returned the favor once with that dragon.

For a pony to know that they'll never get the chance to pay another pony back for all that was done in their life... it was a betrayal. Fluttershy, sadly, was no different in her thoughts, the same beach currently suffering a tide of black wishes and dark feelings, spreading through it like a virus. C'mon, what did she have left of her friend? What did she have that still reminded her of that pillar of strength?

Fluttershy looked about her room, wiping her eyes occassionally to get that look of drowning out of her sight. Nothing beyond a picture of her friends sitting on her nightstand could be considered a memorium of her friend. She took it gently in her hooves and placed it in her lap, staring into the magenta eyes of the pegasus who stood up for her for so long. Tears fell from her chin onto the spotless glass, muddling the faces behind it. All she had was a picture?

She had a book from Twilight's library, "101 Ways To Make Animal Food"; not very helpful, but the techniques shown were interesting. She had a scarf from Rarity, sewn specifically for Hearth's Warming Eve, along with her spa visits with the fashionista. The crazy parties and infectious giggle were given to her by Pinkie; who couldn't start laughing when she managed to faceplant into a pie after bouncing off the walls? Nothing from Applejack, but that was to be expected; the two never shared much in conversation.

What hit her hardest was her lack of things that belonged to Rainbow, a pony she'd known for most of her life. She simply stared into the pool of tears that once contained a clear image of Dash and everypony else, then closed her eyes, retreating to the things she held closer than anything: her memories.

"Harder!" A shrill cry echoed through the sky, sounding more annoyed than supportive. Fluttershy flapped her wings as hard as she could, but barely rose two feet in a single beat, "C'mon, Fluttershy!"

"I'm trying, Dash," Fluttershy pouted, looking at her friend; who knew launching into the air was so hard?

"Yes, I know, but you need to try harder. Watch me again," Dash stamped her hoof into the cloud before standing up. She spread her wings and moved them above her back. "I'll do it slowly, so pay attention."

She slowly moved her wings down, keeping them stretched and spread as far out as possible. She completed the movement with a quick flick of her wings back above her back, keeping them in towards her sides. "Alright, what'd you see from that?"

"I saw that you, um... kept your wings out as far as you could... and moved them down," Fluttershy nodded sagely at her analysis; it made sense!

"Right. I kept my wings above me as far as they could go, then moved them down, spread as far as possible. Now, what are you doing that's different?"

"I'm, um... well..."

"Do it again, and copy me."

Fluttershy nodded, standing up and spreading her wings. She moved them back and above her, then brought them down. Her wings pulled inward as they moved below her back, then stretch back out as they come down to her legs. She blinked, doing the motion again, and watched her wings repeat the pull and release. "Huh?"

"There's the problem. Something up with your wings?" Dash raised an eyebrow as she walked over to her friend, stretching out a wing and moving it.

"I-I'm not sure... can you please not do that?" Fluttershy winced as her wing was brought down past her back, forced to stay stretched out by Dash. The tendon yanked back, unable to tug against her mentor's strength, so it simply cried to her brain in pain.

"Weird. Do you fly a lot?"

"N-No..."

"Ahhh. Your wings aren't getting a proper workout then."

Fluttershy looked down at the cloud, folding one of her wings and pawing the cloud below.

"Well, how about a quick fly around then?"

"Um... b-but I'll just... slow you down."

"I want you to try and keep up with me anyway. I'll go slower this time around," Dash let go of her friend's wing and walked around to her front, "Remember what you learned in Flight School?"

"Rhythm is everything."

"Right. Keeping a consistent beat of the wings will keep you in the air. From there, it's all pitch and pause, right?"

"I-I think so..."

"Then let's go."

Dash lifted herself off the ground and ascended, the sun burning away her color until she was nothing but a black silhouette staring back at the shy pegasus on the cloud. As the world began to bleed away, Fluttershy ascended toward the rainbow mane and magenta eyes, every flap booming in her mind like a drum, every beat of her quickening heart like a punch to the chest.

Every foot of distance lost between her and Dash like a vile knife in the leg as the world disappeared...

Everything moved without constraint in her eyes, swimming like a soup made of reality itself. Nothing pieced together into a clear picture, except for the vivid colors of the picture in her lap.

"Why, Dash? Y-You stayed beside me all this time... always pushing me forward. Why did you have to leave?" Fluttershy sniffed, shivering. Tears ceased running down her cheeks, trying to comfort Fluttershy by blurring her sight of the harsh future before her, "Why did you have to leave? Leave me, leave us all behind..."

That picture was all that remained; the picture and her memories. No more overconfidence, no more supporting hoof, no more raspy laugh as Pinkie told a joke...

She turned her eyes to a window, the forest outside a mess of green and brown. The blue sliver of sky seemed to strike through clear as day, and gears turned in Fluttershy's head. She would need a lot of help, but maybe she could have something of Rainbow's... something that would help her remember.

Her cloud house wouldn't have a resident anymore... moving out would be quick. Images of a sunrise over the city of Canterlot, shadows receding in the massive valley below moved through her head, the sky painted red and pink in a beautiful rendition of Celestia's glorious Sun. Sleeping on a cloud again would be a liberating experience, and Luna knew how much Dash talked about another great nap she had on those clouds dotting the sky.

The only problem, or rather, the only things to take care of were her animals. Who would take care of them if their caretaker left for a new home? Could Rainbow's house be moved over the Everfree? If it were to hang over her cottage, then the animals would all be a quick flight away, and carrying out her care for the animals would be just as easy as any other day.

Something that belonged to Dash, and being able to take care of her animals still...

For the first time since that hospital visit, a smile grew on Fluttershy's face; the sky looked so inviting when she thought back to Dash's lessons... maybe flight would be something to try?

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