• Published 15th Jun 2019
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One or the Other - Blind Alley



As the Crusaders cross the line into adulthood, the time comes for them to make some choices about what their relationships will become. It turns out that shared affection may be harder to overcome than any shared adversity could ever be.

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Chapter 5 - Trouble Blooms

I felt awful warm in the face. It started up about twenty minutes after my first go on the salt lick and showed no signs of going away. The three of us passed it around from me to Scoots to Sweetie. We each stuck to our own corner and, after almost an hour of licking, each of those corners was getting mighty smooth. The lick tasted like salt more than anything, which was no surprise. There was a hint of apple cider and some other taste that had to be the alcohol, but still mostly salt. Honestly, it was the most relaxed I'd felt around my friends in moons.

The best part was that it looked like Sweetie was feeling it too. It felt like forever since I'd seen her so relaxed and carefree. It was like the shadow that'd been hanging over her head for the last few years was just gone, and she was just good old Sweetie Belle again. Not nervous, not fiddling with her skirt, not biting her lip, or lashing her tail, or doing anything but talking, laughing, and smiling that million-bit smile. Sweet Celestia, had I ever missed seeing that smile aimed my way, like the sunrise over the orchard in applebuck season. It was worth bluffing my way through all the girl talk in the word to see it again.

“I don't care how 'cute' he is now,” Scootaloo insisted. “He's still Snails.”

“Aw, come on,” Sweetie giggled. “He's not that bad.”

“He's weird.”

“Compared to who?” I asked. “This is Ponyville. Y'know, home of Pinkie Pie?”

“Whatever. Hey, lick it or pass it. Make up your mind.”

Sweetie rolled her eyes and took a long, slow lick of her corner before passing it to me by hand. Her magic had started to get a little shaky a few licks ago and it looked like she'd stopped trusting it. I took my lick straight away and passed it on while I tried to come up with the next stallion to talk about. It was my turn and I had to contribute something or it'd look suspicious. “What do ya reckon about Rumble?”

“Rumble?” Scoots raised an eyebrow. “What about Rumble?”

“Y'know.”

Scootaloo stared at me like I was talking fancy again. “What about Rumble?” she repeated.

“He's a guy,” Sweetie prodded.

She look her lick and handed off to Sweetie. “Uh, yeah? What about it?”

“Haven't you seen him?” Sweetie pressed. “He's sooo cute!”

“Mmm-hm. C'mon, Scoots, don't you two work out together sometimes? Hay, y'all're both on the weather team!”

“I guess? I dunno.”

“And?”

“And… what?”

Sweetie and I both stared with our mouths wider than barn doors. “You mean you really haven't noticed!?” she asked.

“How didjya manage that?” Even I knew Rumble was one of the most pined after young stallions in town these days. Plus he was an athlete and all, and a great flier.

Scootaloo shrugged. “I don't know. I just… don't notice colts that much, I guess.”

“Huh.” Sweetie looked down at the salt lick, took her lick and passed it off to me again.

“Whatever. Now can we pleeeease change the subject?”

“Nope!” Sweetie and I chorused.

“At your birthday we talked about nothing but sports, sports, and more sports,” Sweetie said.

“We had our turns. Reckon it's Sweetie's now and that means…”

“Girl talk!”

“Uuuggghhhh… You know… you call it 'girl talk' but it's all about guys.” She straightened up and shot the two of us an evil looking grin. “You two ever been interested in a girl?

Sweetie Belle's cheeks went pinker than the streaks in her hair. “Scootaloo!”

“What? It's a fair question.”

“No it's not!”

I raised an eyebrow. That was a lot of protesting for such a silly question. Kinda made me wonder if she wasn't being a hundred percent honest. Except… well, I'd seen the way Sweetie looked at colts, hadn't I? We'd just been talking about colts! Sweetie could 'girl talk' her way through the list of every eligible colt in town with Diamond and Silver before breakfast!

“What about you, AB? Ever had a mare catch your eye?”

I carefully kept my face neutral and my ears still. “Can't say I have.”

“How do you know?”

“Beg pardon?”

Scootaloo leaned in a little closer. “How can you know for sure? Maybe you're into mares and don't even know it!”

Inside, my stomach churned. Outside, I snorted. “I'd know! Ya don't just not know!”

“When you were a kid, did you like colts?”

“Well, uh...”

“So, one day, you woke up and liked 'em, right?”

My face got a little warmer. Scoots was leading us somewhere I didn't want us to go. Why was she of all ponies suddenly so interested in this? Stuff like this usually made her gag harder than a barn cat hacking up a hairball.

“I suppose…”

“So what if tonight you realize you like mares, too?”

“I… dunno.”

“There's only one way to find out.” Her grin turned downright wicked. “You two should kiss.”

A nasty jolt shot right up my back. “What!?”

“Hey, it's the Crusader way! The only way to know is to try it out, right?”

I had about a half dozen reasons why that was a load of horseapples ready and rarin' to go. Not everything needs to be tried to know how you feel about it. I ain't never jumped off a waterfall onto pointy rocks neither but I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea, I don't need to test it myself. Not on purpose, anyhow. I didn't need to go kissing any mares to know that I definitely, absolutely, one-hundred-and-ten-percent hated it.

“M-maybe she's right.”

My train of thought jumped right off the rails and all I could think to do was stare at Sweetie while the cars piled up. She was agreeing? “Are y'all serious?”

All of Sweetie's relaxed mood had gone up in smoke. She was fiddling with the hem of her skirt, her ears drooped, and she was still very pink in the face. “I mean, it's possible, right?”

“Sweetie, I don't think--”

“Maybe you've never wondered but… um… maybe,” Sweetie swallowed. “Maybe I have.” She cringed like she expected to be shouted down by the Princesses themselves. I shot a glance at Scootaloo but she looked just as surprised as I felt.

“For real?” Scootaloo asked.

She shrugged, not taking her eyes of the carpet. “A little. Just sometimes. Just curious. I've never, um, you know, tried, so I'm not sure. I've just… wondered. A lot.”

“Why didn't ya ever say nuthin'?”

Sweetie's whole posture deflated like a popped balloon. She sorta hugged herself like she was cold, like she oughta be rubbing her arms and shivering. “Well what could I do? Just trot up to Diamond Tiara or somepony and say 'hey, I might like mares. Mind if I test that on you?' I'm scared just telling you two!”

I frowned. She was scared. Real scared. She must've been carrying this around for a good long while, worrying and fretting over what everypony would think. She might even have been crushing on some filly in school the whole time and been too frightened to make a move. Sure, a lot of things were off limits until a pony hit eighteen anyhow, but that ain't ever stopped anypony from at least dating.

Then it hit me like a freight train that this was it. This was the thing that'd been dragging on her for the last few years! This was why she'd turned half-way to a nervous wreck, always so awkward and jumpy. It was because she was scared of being found out! She had a feeling she liked mares, really liked mares, and she was terrified of doing anything to give herself away 'cause she was scared stiff that we'd turn on her if we found out!

I put the salt lick down on the empty pizza boxes and scooted off my cushion so I could put an arm around her shoulders, close enough I could pick up a hint of perfume and that fancy shampoo of hers. Her whole body was trembling and she was tense as could be. This whole thing wasn't right. Sweetie shouldn't have to feel scared of caring about somepony, nopony should. And she sure as Celestia shouldn't have to be scared of Scoots and me! Plus, not even being sure? She should at least get to be sure, shouldn't she? She couldn't go on not knowing something that important about herself, could she? I knew from experience how awful that felt and just thinking about Sweetie or Scoots feeling the way I did half the time… well, it just wasn't right. I couldn't let one of my best friends live like that, could I? She didn't need to.

I swallowed hard and cleared my throat best I could. “Hey, y'all ain't got nothin' to worry about. We're best friends!”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo chimed in, bold as brass. “We're with you no matter what.”

“And… and if it'll help y'all…” I swallowed, unable to believe what I was about to say. “Y'all can test it on me.”

Scootaloo and Sweetie both gaped at me. “Are you serious?” Sweetie squeaked.

“Reckon I am. Ya need to know, one way or the other.” I tried to laugh all casual like even though my guts were all tied up in knots. “Ain't like it'll hurt me, right?”

“It's just, um,” Sweetie's blush deepened, “it'd be my first.”

“Mine too. But hey, sharing first times is how we got here! 'Sides, which sounds better to you: using my first kiss to help one of my best friends or using it on some colt I just end up splittin' with a month or two later?”

Sweetie wiped her watering eyes. “You'd do that… for me?”

“Sure as sugar would or my name ain't Apple Bloom! 'Sides,” I gave Scootaloo a sharp look that got answered with a wide eyed stare, “it'll confirm that I don't like mares. Y'know Scoots'll just keep naggin' me 'til I try.”

Daring you,” Scootaloo corrected almost automatically.

Sweetie Belle threw her arms around my neck in a tight hug. “Thank you! Thank you so much! I-I thought I'd never--”

I swallowed hard to keep dinner and dessert right where they were. Did she always have to press herself up against me like that? “Come on now, ain't no time like the present. Let's do this before I get cold feet.”

Sweetie let go and we pulled apart. “Right, uh, okay. So… how should we start?”

“Er, I was hopin' you'd know.”

“How would I know?”

“Well, Rarity gave ya that big, long talk, right? Ya told us all about it.”

“That was for stallions.”

“Kissin's the same though, ain't it?”

“Oh just kiss already!” Scootaloo shouted. “Face each other, get up on your knees, put your arms around each other and,” she clapped emphatically, “bam, lips together.”

I looked at Scootaloo suspiciously. “Y'all came up with that mighty quick.”

She shrugged. “You'd be surprised what you see while flying over town. Earth ponies and unicorns never think to look up and pegasai have to look down in case somepony else decides to take off without looking or something. Sometimes I see ponies making out where they think nopony can see. It's not like I go looking for it,” she added, quickly. “You just have no idea how much of it is going on until you can see over everypony's fence.”

All of a sudden I was very glad I never wore shirts with open collars. From the look on Sweetie's face (plus the way she was looking down at her undone buttons) she was reconsidering her own choice in blouses.

“Right. I'm never goin' outside again.”

Ever.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Just do it already.”

Me and Sweetie turned back to face one another. We got close, up on our knees like Scoots said, put our hands on each other's waists and inched together. We'd hugged plenty of times but this was… different. Most times hugs were just a friendly greeting or a celebration or something. This time it was just setup for what we were gonna do. But maybe if I just finally did it then those stupid thoughts would finally leave me alone for good. Like being afraid of the water; you just had to dive in and get over it.

“Are you sure?” Sweetie said softly. “Once we do this--”

“I'm sure.” I wasn't. “It's just a kiss.” It wasn't. “Ain't like we're about ta get married or nuthin'.” 'Least that much was true.

“On three?”

“Okay. One. Two... Three.”

Sweetie leaned in close, shutting her eyes along the way. I closed mine too, mostly because I knew that's what you were supposed to do when you kissed somepony. Then our lips met.

It was… moist. Obviously a pony's mouth is full of spit but I'd never really thought about it before. Sweetie's lips moved against mine, which was a… really weird feeling. It's part pushing, part pulling. It was like Sweetie was sucking on my bottom lip just a bit. Maybe I was supposed to do it back? I parted my lips just the tiniest bit and pulled.

Sweetie shivered and pulled away. Our lips separated with a quiet sound like somepony smacking their lips after eating a spoonful of soup. Our eyes opened again, staring straight into each other's.

“So, uh, how was that?” I asked. It was nice to hear my voice sounding a lot steadier than I felt.

“C-can we try again? Sorry, I'm just… still trying to work it out. We can stop now if you want.”

“What's that thing Pip says? 'In fer a penny, in fer a pound'? Reckon I can handle a bit more.”

Why did I have to say that?

Before I could change my mind, Sweetie leaned in again and this time we stayed together. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my mouth. Our lips came together, rubbed, pulled on each other, then broke apart. Again. And again. And again. Sometimes it was quick, other times we lingered, working our mouths together for several seconds before breaking softly. It was strange and wet and soft and warm and the way Sweetie's chest was bumping against mine every so often was getting real distracting but… it wasn't awful, I can give it that much. It sorta made my mouth feel a tiny bit tingly. Especially with the way Sweetie was starting to change angles, making our lips fit together in new ways that felt kinda nice too. Even if it did mean more jostling.

Her scent was impossible to ignore. That gentle hint of flowery perfume and herbal shampoo was almost as powerful as the salt lick. I breathed it in deep to savor the feeling of warmth and comfort it always brought me. Her arms shifted with every kiss, rubbing my back gently and sliding her arms around me into a proper hug. I copied her a little but not quite as much. Our busts were pressed together properly by the hug now, making it all the more distracting even with my shirt and overalls in the way. Then again, that felt kinda nice, too.

I finally broke the kiss for good, pulling away enough to get myself to stop pressing against Sweetie. We both knelt there for a long moment, breathing a little heavy, and trying to make sense of what we just did. Then Scootaloo got impatient.

“Well? Anypony gonna say anything?”

We both shuffled away from each other back to our cushions. I don't know if Sweetie was avoiding looking at me as much as I was at her but I wouldn't be surprised.

“It, um, was…” Sweetie Belle fumbled.

“Alright,” I finished.

“'Alright',” Scootaloo deadpanned.

“Y'know, alright, I guess.”

Scootaloo looked at Sweetie but she only blushed more strongly and fidgeted some more. “I-- I need to think about it.”

Satisfied enough, Scoots smirked. “Okay, my turn.”

“What!?”

Scootaloo shrugged casual like, but her wings were twitching an awful lot. “Hey, only one way for me to find out, too.”

“I dunno…” Kissing Sweetie was already crazy but Scoots too?

Scootaloo crossed her arms defiantly. “You did it for Sweetie.”

I sighed. Maybe it'd actually help? Then it would be all spread out rather than being some awkward thing just between me and Sweetie. It'd be a Crusader thing, and there were lots of Crusader things. What was one more?

“Fine, y'all can try on me too.”

We got in the same position as I had with Sweetie, more or less. Scootaloo went straight for the hug, which I went along with, even if it felt awkward as all Tartarus. Scootaloo's wings meant I needed to put my arms a lot lower on her back to get under them. On the plus side, there was actually a bit of space to breathe thanks to Scootaloo's flat chest. As we leaned in, Scootaloo's purple eyes darted over to Sweetie watching from the side then back up to me.

“Thanks.”

The kiss kicked off before I could answer. Sweetie had been gentle and slow, Scootaloo was firm and fast. Her kisses didn't linger as long, didn't work her lips around as much, but she also sucked harder which maked it more intense in its own way. It wasn't long before she pressed in closer to me, sinking against my bust and kneading my lower back. A little jolt hit me in the stomach when I felt Scootaloo's hands starting to wander lower. I cracked open an eye. Hers were shut like she was totally in the zone. A particularly deep kiss sent a shiver right on through me and made my eye flutter shut again. I kept thinking that I should stop, that I should call it off, but instead I pushed back, turning my head and parting my lips a little more. Scootaloo made a funny noise in her throat and her hand wandered all the way down to my--

I finally broke the kiss by yanking my head back hard. “What the hay, Scootaloo!?”

Scootaloo blinked like she was coming out of a daze. “Wha--?”

“I said I'd kiss you. That don't mean ya get to go grabbin' at me!”

I expected Scootaloo to crack a joke or roll her eyes and call me a foal for complaining. What I didn't expect was for her to look away, blush, flatten her ears, and mumble “Sorry”.

Despite what Scoots'd just done, I couldn't help but feel a little bad for her. The urge to push Scootaloo off and declare the test over faded the more I looked at her downcast expression. Then it clicked into place. She'd been hurting just like Sweetie, hadn't she? Knowing Scootaloo, she'd been putting on a brave face since this whole topic came up 'cause it was that or run out of the room screaming 'cause she was just as nervous, scared, and confused as Sweetie. She hated girl talk, she hated acting mushy, but here she was talking about kissing 'cause she'd seen a chance to finally find out where she stood.

I slipped one hand off Scootaloo's back and used it to turn her face back up. I figured I should say something comforting, y'know? Try to make her feel better about it like I'd done for Sweetie. Then I looked into those big, purple eyes of hers and I saw… something. It was that sort of look she'd had when we were little and she'd been so worried about being flightless that she'd bailed on our Equestria Games routine. When we'd finally confronted her she'd looked at us the same way. Like she was scared but hopeful, too. Back then I'd just wanted to hug her tight and tell her that everything was gonna be okay.

I leaned in close.

“AB, I'm-- mph! Mphm mm mm… Mmmmm...

This time Scootaloo practically melted into me. The aggression and haste were gone and swapped out with something almost as soft and gentle as Sweetie Belle. I worked my lips against Scootaloo's just like Sweetie had done to me, and I pulled her in close so our fronts pressed flush together. It was weird but, Scoots' chest felt sorta… I dunno, off somehow. Still… it all felt sorta nice.

Then I had an idea. Once I was sure she was all the way back into it I let one of my own hands wander down towards her rump. She stiffened up fast, wings ruffling and quivering as she worked out what I was up to. My hand skimmed over Scootaloo's shorts, then curled up so that only my first two fingers and thumb were extended. I jabbed them into Scootaloo's backside and--

“Mph!” Scootaloo yanked away and fell back onto her rump. “Ow! You pinched me!”

“Eeeeyup!” I folded my arms, smug as you please. “Only one way ta find out if ya like it or not, right?”

I was expecting Scoots to just laugh it off or maybe get just a little bit mad. Instead she looked… I don't know what she looked like. She was looking at me with a fiery light in her eyes, her wings were flared out like a griffon ready to pounce and… she was licking her lips? My eyes went wide. Well, that bright idea had just backfired harder than an overstuffed confetti cannon at a Pinkie Party.

“Um.”

Me and Scoots both jumped, the moment between us broken. We both looked over to where Sweetie had perched herself awkwardly on the edge of her bed, legs crossed, and hugging a pillow.

“Did you… did you like it?”

“It was--”

“Okay.”

Me and Sweetie both raised an eyebrow at Scootaloo.

“Just 'okay'?” I teased. “Y'all ain't got nuthin' else ta add?”

Scootaloo shifted so she was sitting cross-legged, then winced and rubbed the left side of her rump. “Yeah, you pinch hard.”

Me and Sweetie both burst out laughing. The wadded up tension in my stomach started to ease up when Scootaloo joined in. Soon the three of us were laid out, laughing our tails off.