• Published 12th Jun 2019
  • 4,252 Views, 57 Comments

Mothchaser's no good, awful, just terrible night. - SwirledEyez



Tonight was supposed to be a good night for plucky Nightguard Mothchaser. She'd finally screwed up the courage to, secretly, at night, slip a letter under the door of her crush. Sadly, as often occurs around Mothchaser, things do not go as planned.

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Poor Mothchaser

The curtain of night had been pulled across the sky, stars flickered in the firmament, and Luna’s moon, so recently a prison, bathed Canterlot in its soft glow. This was most definitely not the Equestria of a thousand moons ago and, thus, it would be a lie to claim that the city slept. Although most had turned in for the night, seeking traverse into the realm of dreams, Canterlot was a city which never fully slept, doctors, clubs, bars and more stayed open throughout day and night. Similarly the duty of guarding Canterlot, and enforcing its law, could not simply be stopped due to the setting of the sun.

It was for this very reason that there existed a special branch of the Equestrian Guard, an elite group of select few who braved the darkness, who laughed in the face of nightmares, who discarded that atavistic fear of the dark so common to all creatures and instead revelled in it. Or, at least, that was how they might describe it.

The Night Guard of Equestria were out in force throughout the Palace of Canterlot, leathery wings carrying aerial sentinels silently on patrols, sentries and wardens completing routes through dark and foreboding corridors, silvery armour glinted and shone with the reflection of their finally returned patron’s symbolic celestial body. Let none say the Night Guard took their duties any less seriously than the more commonly seen Day Guard.

That is all but one Night Guard. One Night Guard Mare, one young member, who was most decidedly not at her post and most decidedly not focused on her duty. For this particular Night Guard was struggling with a foe much greater than some ruffian or wild monster tonight; tonight young Mothchaser of the Night Guard wrestled with her own heart…

...and it was about to be a very, very bad night for her.


Okay focus girl, focus! In...and out...steady breathing, steady breathing, Mothchaser murmured to herself under her breath, her armoured hooves making little to no sound on the tiled floor of the Day Guard barracks. Her eyes glimmered faintly in the dark, able to easily discern the labels and numbers on the doors which lined the corridor, her wings held fast along her body, forming something of a leathery cape, as her small mouth clasped the envelope which had brought her here.

Finding the exact location of Corporal Idol Hooves chamber had not been a simple task. In all honesty it should have been as simple as “Hello there Idol, could I ask where you stay?” But Mothchaser was far too canny for that! No, instead it had taken some time of discrete and prolonged observation from afar (and not stalking as some of her peers continued to insist!) before she had worked out exactly which room the Unicorn Stallion stayed in. She was aware there were two Guards to a room but her interest here was in Idol, not his roommate, so that was irrelevant.

Getting close now...should be...right about… her heart began to hammer, her muscles tensing, as a primal part of her instinctively began to try to will her legs to simply move in reverse, to get her out of here, as soon as she could, to stop this foolish, foolish notion! Such instincts may have won out had her eyes not finally landed on the sought after goal.

There! A rush of adrenaline helped her combat the knot her stomach was trying to tie itself into, her pace quickening, she moved closer and closer, it would be quick, it would be easy, she told herself. She would simply stop by the door, lower the envelope, slip it under the opening, for Idol to find. A message from a secret admirer, to meet at a secret rendezvous! It was perfect! Nothing could ruin this! Nothing could stop her now-

The door creaked open.

Years of training and experience were put to questionable use as Mothchaser’s body tensed and moved fluidly, wings carrying her silently up to the ceiling, laying flat against it, nearly invisible in the shroud of night, gazing down at the door of her beloved Idol Hooves slowly, agonizingly, almost tauntingly, swinging open.

Let us take a moment to address what Mothchaser saw through her own eyes. Now for most any Pony it would have been difficult to have made out much detail on the figure trying, and failing, to surreptitiously exit the abode, but for a Bat Pony such as Mothchaser twas child’s play! She recognized the tall, long-limbed form which came out, the dark, midnight blue coat, the glinting regalia, the folded wings, the sense of poise and regality, the Unicorn’s horn protruding from the figure’s forehead but, above all, what caught Mothchaser’s eye was the mane. That mane! Like the night sky flowing before her, a sea of blue and black shades set with glimmering star fields what sparkled and shone, winked, in the blackness. It was a breathtaking mane, an incredible mane, an unmistakable mane. It was the mane of none other than Princess Luna herself and, as a quick check of all the aforementioned parts certified, it was still quite firmly attached to the Princess.

Mothchaser’s mind took a moment to register that what she was seeing, difficult as it was to believe, was indeed Princess Luna skulking out of Idol Hooves’ chambers like some thief in the night.

Let us turn away from poor Mothchaser, let us give her this moment alone, for it is cruel for a young maiden to have their heart so savagely wrenched and it would be cruel to dwell on her, to make entertainment of her woe. Let us turn now from poor Mothchaser and what she saw and, instead, turn to-


Moments before...

“You should at least consider it, not many are fortunate enough to be offered a position in the Night Guard by their Princess,” Luna reclined upon Idol’s cot, depriving him of it, her forelimbs crossed over each other as she regarded him imperiously, the Stallion still standing before her, practically unmoved from the moment he’d entered to find the Princess of the Night expecting him.

Idol’s calm, cool, head under fire, his impassive demeanour even when faced with dire threat, that stoic disposition of his, had oft times been praised by his superiors. Here was a Pony who could face even the most terrifying prospect, the most unexpected ambush, and not even blink. Of course in part this was simply because Idol’s reactions were not conveyed in the way a Pony might. Whilst externally he could seem like a collected model of a cool, calm, composed Stallion, internally his mind warred and whirred incessantly. Thus when he entered his shared barracks chamber with Captain Shining Armor and found none other than Princess Luna herself, Regal Sister, Princess of the Night, Protector of Dreams, Raiser of the Moon, Diarch most high, on the surface he betrayed almost no emotion, features set in the same passive expression, eyes locked on the form of the Alicorn Mare seemingly inspecting his cot but, internally, his situation was perhaps best compared to a moth repeatedly battering itself into a window.

“Be that as it may, your Majesty, I cannot at this time make such a decision upon my own initiative. I am not worthy nor capable of making such decisions myself, only Princess Celestia herself could-”

“Fi, enough, enough, you need not repeat it for the thousandth time,” Luna silenced him with a curt gesture of her hoof, giving a discontented cluck of her tongue as she did so. She slowly rose, stepping to the floor, a casual toss of her neck casting her starlight mane behind her; “Then I suppose we have nothing more to discuss tonight. Pardon my intrusion, I shall disturb thine rest no longer,” the Alicorn mare strode majestically past the Stallion, though before she reached the door his voice called her head to turn back to face him briefly;

“Captain Shining Armor?” Luna’s eyes traveled briefly to the snoring bundle in the other cot, the Unicorn Stallion, before she gave sigh; “Fear not Corporal, my sleep enchantment was simply to allow us to speak without interruption, he shall wake rested and well in the morrow,” with her final comment tossed behind her Princess Luna stepped out into the dark and back into the present.


Well...not quite the present. Poor Mothchaser took several minutes to collect herself from the puddle on the floor she’d melted into after watching the Princess of the Night herself slip out of Idol’s room and vanish into the darkness.

Could it really be true? Could she really have seen what she saw? Perhaps her nerves made her hallucinate? Or...perhaps the Princess was just meeting with a Corporal of the Day Guard for professional reasons or...or…

Every last rationalization seemed more implausible then the last, although even then they were only half as implausible as the very idea of a Princess within the chambers of Idol had been till Mothchaster had witnessed it herself scant minutes ago.

Still this doesn’t change...this doesn’t change anything! I...I need to do this! Her heart rallied, only growing stronger in the face of adversity. Mothchaser shook her head, almost dropping her envelope in the process, before she took a deep breath, her chest swelling out, before she exhaled, eyes once more set on the door, her goal, her prize. Rallied and renewed Mothchaser took the next few steps closer to the room and…

Immediately sprang back up to the roof as the door slid open, silently, but with less caution then before. Perhaps Mothchaser would have thought to herself something akin to; Not again! What now? Seriously? Twice? But any such thoughts were banished from her mind along with almost any other thoughts when she was forced to watch Princess Celestia herself stride out the door, casting a nervou look back-and-forth about herself like some naughty Filly worried she would be caught pilfering from a cookie jar. As opposed to Princess Luna before her Mothchaser needed no night vision to see the Diarch of the Sun herself in the dark. Celestia’s alabaster coat, gorgeous proportions, the blazing bright sun situated atop her generous plot, the rainbow-hued mane, glowed so radiantly in the dark that even a near-sighted mule would have been able to see her.

But alas seeing was believing, and once more Mothchaser’s heart was dealt a blow, plummeting as she plummeted. Again, for the sake of a young mare’s heart, let us give her time alone, to recollect, to regather.


Scant minutes before...

“Princess...Celestia?”

Normally the sudden crackle of a teleportation spell within his chambers, followed shortly by a burst of light and the regal form of Princess Celestia herself would have left Idol quite stunned. As it was, having already dealt with the shock of one Alicorn intrusion, he was able to handle this one with considerably more calm.

“Your Majesty!” Instinct, more than even conscious force caused him to dive down into a bow. “Ah, no need for that Corporal, I was hoping- oh, first, let us make sure we are not interrupted,” the Alicorn’s horn glowed with a brief light, a hue of it washing over the sleeping form of Shining Armor, giving Idol time enough only to say; “Actually-” before the sleeping enchantment had been cast, and Celestia turned back to Idol with a...shy smile?

“Your Majesty, you need not waste your precious time seeking me out in my humble accommodation! If you have any need you should simply summon me and I shall come immediately, to lower yourself to actually come here in person is beneath-” Idol was quick, as always, to begin with the profuse groveling and protestations, although he was silenced by Celestia’s quick shake of her head, her bright mane flicking as it swayed behind her; “No, no, there’s no need for that Corporal, I chose this, do not fret. You see I wanted to discuss...ah...that is I was hoping to recount...to discuss...converse over…” the Princess seemed, uncharacteristically, to stumble over her words, one hoof even bashfully rising to prod at the underside of her chin contemplatively;

“Hmm, oh my, this is...this is more difficult than I thought. Hmm. What words to begin with? I wished to talk to you about the...um...the event...the recent one...you know the...that one…” to see the Princess herself struggle like this, stammer, and...was that a blush? The very sight of it filled Idol with dread. What awful, terrible, news could possible provoke such a reaction from the most high, glorious and mighty Princess?

“Princess I-”

“Do you remember-”


Once more in the present!

“-stupid, stupid, stupid! Making a fool of yourself!” Mothchaser caught the tail end of something the Princess said, frustrated mumblings or groanings, as if that of a mare who’d come hoping for something only to be disappointed. She cursed her keen night vision, for the first time in her life, as it burned into her memory the images of the Alicorn Princess slinking away, tail tucked between her legs, and an unmistakable blush gracing her features. Even as distracting as Mothchaser found the Princess’ swaying plot (and it was most distracting!) she could not miss the obvious signs.

The pathetic pile that was Mothchaser gave a whimpering sigh in the dark, envelope almost forgotten. What was she to do? How could she go on? Knowing what she now knew, having seen what she had seen! She had heard stories, she had heard tales, but she had never realized that his virility, his prowess, his appetite could be...be...so grand! What was one mere Bat Pony to do?

But the heart knew what the heart knew, it wanted what it wanted. Love was a force stronger than all others in Equestria, was it not? She could not deny her love anymore then she could deny her very being! Who cared if the Sun and Moon were in her path, if they sought to block her! Love conquered all, every Filly knew this, every Mare, if love was what drove her, what motivated her, what lent her strength then she could not, would not, fail no matter the odds stacked against her!

Yes! With her head held high, after taking almost ten straight minutes just to recover, Mothchaser continued her approach, her hooves carried her with a steely look in her eye and the envelope in her teeth gripped tighter than ever. She came within inches of the door, practically touching it, ready to simply bend down, deposit her envelope, so close to being completed all she had to do was-

The door swung open with a bang, no care given this time to a pretense of subtlety, and Mothchaser managed to only narrowly avoid being struck by the opening door by flattening herself against the corridor wall till she resembled a shadow laid against it. It was from this vantage, choking back a sob, that she saw what she saw; a slim, svelte, elegant plot, pink as candyfloss, emerged on the top of elegant, slim limbs, the sort most Mares would kill to have. There was no mistaking the identity of this beauty, for upon her flank was the crystalline heart shape of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza...the Princess...of Love.


Shortly before...

Idol had been very confused by the Princess’ strange conversation. Mentioning some event that clearly never happened, mentioning details so illogical, so clearly blasphemous, that were it not the Princess herself saying it Idol would most likely have accused them of treason. Of course, luckily, it was all just a misunderstanding. Clearly. Nothing happened. Nothing had ever happened. There was nothing to think about, no thoughts locked deep within a vault buried inside a fort trapped in the earth and dropped into the void. Nothing at all!

Well...Idol supposed there was one thing; he was somewhat concerned by how Shining Armor’s constitution would handle two Alicorn-strength sleeping enchantments. But he could always deal with that issue in the morning. For now it was time to sleep, and having finally disrobed and prepared his cot to his liking, the Stallion took one moment to turn and inspect Shining, making sure he was breathing and all was normal, before he turned back to his cot…

...and came face-to-face with the familiar visage of one Emerald Glen, aka, Princess Cadance.

“Idol, we need to talk and- oh! This has to be private, Shiny can’t know, I’ll-” “Wait-” “Just cast a sleeping spell quick,” once again Idol spoke to late, the cyan aura of Cadance’s magic flowing over Shining, eliciting an even deeper snore to her displeasure, her rather crude illusion of a Pegasus mare warping and fading as she shook it off as if shedding water from her coat.

“Your Majesty, if you wished time alone with Captain Shining Armor, I would be glad to remove myself at once from these quarters and-” Cadance halted his further movements by placing her forelimbs on his shoulders, shaking her head; “No, no! It’s you I want to talk to, I need to...ask for your help. Well...I want to ask you to help Shiny, understand?”

Idol did not understand, and he made so clear; “I do not understand,” he said bluntly, earning a giggle from the pink Alicorn; “Well...I want you to...remember that conversation we had? About giving Shiny tips on how to flirt? I was thinking...would you consider doing it...for real? For me?” Cadance flutter long eyelashes seductively, her lips pursed, eyes half-lidded in a smolder.

Idol blinked.


And we're back!

“Thank you so much again, I really look forward to seeing the improvement,” Cadance’s parting words, said with a flirtatious toss of her mane, only sealed Mothchaser’s fate.

She was just one mare! One mortal mare! How could she contend with a single Alicorn, let alone three? Let alone the incarnation of love herself?!

The envelope flopped to the floor, forgotten, and Mothchaser crumpled with it in the dark.

She was discovered shortly after by one of her peers in the Night Guard, responding to complaints about a noise disturbance and teleportation magic. Assuming some ill fate had befallen her young Mothchaser was rushed to the infirmary, where she spent the next day recovering.

Mothchaser, curiously, was not the only Guard in the infirmary that day. Captain Shining Armor was, early the next morning, brought to the infirmary by Corporal Idol Hooves, where doctors were somewhat baffled to find that, somehow, the Captain had abnormally large quantities of sleep magic residing upon him.

Idol Hooves knew nothing.

Author's Note:

So this was a different silly little thing I whipped up once on the Discord and since so many people liked the other one I thought I'd just upload this one too for laughs :P

Please remember the actual good fic is Changeling of the Guard and give it a look! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/174129/the-changeling-of-the-guard