• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Sep 15th, 2020

MysteriousJerk


I like reading and writing sexytime stories, but don't tell anyone!

Comments ( 35 )

This might be a good spot to find some ingredients.

Well, I know what's going to be in the feature box soon

Wow, detailed, thoughtful, long erotica about breaking Queen Chrysalis? Sign me the fuck up.

9671420

9671303

9671285
Thank you for your lovely comments! Don't forget to wash your hands after.

Hmm. I'll have to wait and see. I don't like the OC at all, but I've seen worse power-trips.

9671585
You're not supposed to like him. Rape is not okay and he admits to being fucked in the head. Not saying your opinion isn't supposed to change, either. It's kind of up to what you deem 'acceptable' in a person and their motivations.

9671595
Heh, no, I get that. It was more, do I like the character as a character, not whether I would like the person. The story has been pushing a lot how special he is, but again, I've seen that done worse and he does seem to have limitations to his power.

9671599
I do try to temper his outstanding qualities by making them fairly inconsequential or wasted outside the main events of the story and by reminding the reader that he wasn't born that way. Only two chapters in with a focus on clop, there's not much room for character development, unfortunately haha

9671599
That's good feedback, though. I really appreciate it!

The biology is quite delightful, actually. I'm always a sucker for alien biology and the study of it. And some proper BDSM porn is quite appreciated! Couldn't happen to a nicer bug! The idea of sexually breaking Chrysalis to redeem her is a... curious and fascinating thought. Wicked, evil, perverse, and cruel, yes. But fascinating none the less.

9671595

You're not supposed to like him.

What if I do? He's a broken rapist made somewhat functioning member of a society by Celestia, and how he tries to do the same with Chrysalis. It's fascinating.

9672210
Yep, exobiology is a fascinating topic. I sure wish mankind had gotten off its ass and become a spacefaring race by the time I was born, so I could have seen more than the life on just this planet or microbe fossils.

This won't make any sense but I can't think of how to make this make sense so "How to train your Chrysalis". Great job so far looking forward to more.

EDIT: Since I apparantly suck at the only language I know, what I mean is my comment makes no sense and I just though of "How to train your Chrysalis" and wanted to mention it. But I couldn't find a way to work it in organicaly/logically, so I just droped it in.

So I have edited my comment and included the original below as a grim reminder that I suck at english. Also so people can roast me if they feal like it.

Original comment
This doesn't make any sense but I I can't think of anything to comment on other than great job so far looking forward to more so I will just go with "How to train your Chrysalis"... yer as I said no sense at all.

9676201
I debated putting the Mystery tag on there, but felt that it wasn't what anyone would really be reading this for, nor is it the core purpose this exists. I thought I left a good amount of clues, though. Let me know what's confusing you, if you don't mind. Just make it a PM if you feel the explanation would be too long for the comments section.

9677358
Whoops sorry when I said this doesn't make any sense I meant what I put in my comment because yer I couldn't think of any way to put "How to train your Chrysalis" in a comment in a way that made sense.

9677363
Ah...

Well, it's probably not so much that you can't communicate well, it's just that you aren't using much punctuation haha
Take grammar lessons from an over-caffeinated Pinkie Pie or something? :pinkiecrazy:

9677373
Nah I took grammer lessons from 6 over-caffeinated Pinkie Pies all teaching different parts at once.

9677376
And you made it out alive? Impressive.

9677358
First off apologises in advance for the wall of text.

That said though after rereading the end of the first chapter I am a little confused on what exactly happened, so I hope you don't mind if I run by you what I think happened and you let me know how wrong I got it.

So from what I got Chrysalis gave a drone a royal core that would eventually turn them into a queen like her. She then had that drone transform into her to trick Celestia, also that drone is refered to as Eye because I don't really know, that I understand I think.

After that "Chrysalis" reveals herself and says "hey I tricked you and now you are going to die to the explosion along with all of Canterlot" because the barrier will focus all the blast into the mountain or something. I am guessing the reason they can't drop the shield is if they do then they get captured also "Chrysalis" says Celestia was cheating since she was clearly up against her and not Rune, which was against the terms of the parlay. I also think I got that right.

This is where I get a bit confused though, Celestia then basically pulls a no you and does something with the various runes that puts Eye outside the barrier and makes Agent Telus who I think they teleported away a while ago or something (not too sure) reappear where she was in the trap.

It is then revealed that Agent Telus is actually the real Chrysalis and she pulled a double fakeout by having another drone pose as her in secret, who for some reason Celestia refers to as a traitor when talking to Eye now Lady Severance (awesome name by the way). And she was likely controlling that drone directly or something to make even the other Changelings think its her.

At this point I have no idea how or when they figured that Agent Telus is actually Chrysalis in disguise and if they knew since the begining, why they bothered doing whatever they did with the barrier earlier to free Telus. My guess is either A) during the telepathic conversation or B) when they initally opened the door and saw the one Changeling that was slightly ahead of the others (though I think that was the 2nd fakeout Chrysalis that appears after Eye transforms back).

Then after being transported to the other side of the barrier Lady Severance (again love that name), binds the drone that looked like Chrysalis and agrees to leave, I am guessing its because of what Celestia said to her after she got caught in the trap.

After this they close the door or something to the chamber and Rune starts getting ready for the next stage. During this Celestia delibratly tempts Chrysalis into biting her because while it will affect her it also affects Chrysalis. This makes it easier to break/train Chrysalis and from there we go into "How to train your Chrysalis/former Changeling Queen" (Hey I finally found a way to work that in that made sense).

So did I get that right or have I managed to miss what happened so bad that I ended up in another solar system? And again sorry for the over-caffeinated Pinkie Pie levels of grammer, I blame it completely on the fact that I don't breath and thus have no idea when I would need to insert such grammer.

Also again sorry for the wall of text.

I like the story and all but I don't understand why Celestia and Rune are doing what they're doing at this point? I mean besides Rune's personal enjoyment. I don't see what they have to gain from "convincing" Chrysalis to play nice since she's not really important anymore. She's still theoretically a threat on her own but they have her completely restrained and the rest of the Changelings are under new management. It just seems like a lot of extra effort, that would be a PR disaster if revealed to the wider world, for nothing.

9677575
To make this easier to digest, I'll clarify in some bullet points. If I don't mention something, it's because you showed that you understand enough.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS BELOW

• The royal core would not have made Lady Severance a queen; she was just barely biologically incompatible. She can still draw power from the core to appear as strong as Chrysalis, until the core destabilizes and explodes. This is all explicitly explained by the second fake Chrysalis.
• 'The Eye' is a scrying spell to open a two-way viewport to wherever the caster desires, like a huge, magic TV screen. It takes eight changelings to cast it on the scale performed in this story.
• Rune and Celestia knew they likely wouldn't get the right 'Chrysalis' the first, or even second, time so Rune built a sigil to launch a guided teleportation spell that would swap whomever was struck with whomever was already in the trap, once Chrysalis revealed herself to taunt them or make a show. Celestia, through means unknown to Rune, secretly hijacked the system and performed this contingency plan once Rune was taken out of commission.
• The real Agent Telus was only used to communicate to Celestia through the gate. Thereafter, he was replaced by Chrysalis who was fake-tortured in an effort to get Celestia and Rune to make a stupid move to save 'him'. The changelings were kind of outplayed here since all Celestia did, was make 'Telus' temporarily invisible and teleport 'him' a short distance from where 'he' was being tortured so everyone would think 'he' had been saved, not knowing she was actually 'saving' Chrysalis.
• The traitor(s) Celestia referred to, are the possible RICTUS agent(s) who guided the changeling swarm through the labyrinth to reach the chamber this story takes place in. The changeling Lady Severance wraps up, is an obvious loyalist to Chrysalis. He's an analogue of the purple-helmeted changeling from the comic issue Fiendship Is Magic #5. (That's not a typo, it is Fiendship, not Friendship) Severance knew he'd be a problem for her because he avidly defended Chrysalis when she was trying to convince the hive to defect for their own good.
• When Severance was in the trap, Celestia was whispering to her as 'Chrysalis' monologued. She said something, that will remain a secret for now, that convinced her to betray Chrysalis. It's implied and, later, Rune explicitly mentions, that Severance revealed that any strange changelings within the crowd were decoys. It can also be inferred that Severance told Celestia that Chrysalis had disguised herself as Agent Telus.

No major plot spoilers here, I tried making all of this clear enough in the story. If I failed, here's my explanation for anyone else who gets confused. Still kind of new at writing mystery and intrigue.

9677646
There are actual reasons for doing this that will be revealed as the story progresses. Whether they're justified or not, are up to the reader. At the end of the day, we're really just here to clop to some dark fetishes.

To sate your curiosity, just know that Celestia really...REALLY wants the changelings to ally with her colorful pones. Enough to be involved in a sexual mind-breaking operation.

Comment posted by Oliver Hellfire deleted Jul 12th, 2019

Well I love it. I’m already waiting in anticipation for the next chapter.

Wow, it's been 4 months already? Time really flew. Anyway, happy this uploaded again! I was afraid that this would fall into the pile of one (or two in this case) shot wonders that remain incomplete. Also, interesting to see now why the title is Bond(age) (Re)formation, nice to finally see what that double-meaning was about

Oh god, reading about dangerous, willful and powerful Queen getting slowly worn down by mere pony really gets the blood flowing. I like how story bits and plot points are there and strenghten bondage scenes. And oh Celestia, that facefucking part? Excquisite.

I really hope next chapter comes sooner.

Comment posted by MysteriousJerk deleted Oct 17th, 2019

9887706

Also, interesting to see now why the title is Bond(age) (Re)formation, nice to finally see what that double-meaning was about

*gasp* someone was paying attention to something other than the face-fucking and dream-rape? Well, I’m not that shocked, but good on you!

9887760

And oh Celestia, that facefucking part? Excquisite.

Well, if it wasn’t rape, I’d be proud to have pleased you, but I am grateful for the compliment. So thanks. I think.

I really hope next chapter comes sooner.

Me too, this was gratifying

9888559

Well, if it wasn’t rape, I’d be proud to have pleased you, but I am grateful for the compliment.

Wait, what's wrong with rape? I don't understand this reaction.

someone was paying attention to something other than the face-fucking and dream-rape

Hey, I liked rune tampering part too. Bondage just was better :)

I can’t wait for the next update

Login or register to comment