Dear Princess Sunbutt

by Fallowsthorn

"Magical Mystery Cure"

Dear Princess Sunbutt,

Today I learned that nepotism really is magic!

Ugh, fine. You want to know what I think? I think you've been playing checkers so long you've forgotten how to make it look like chess. Even for you, that was blatant, and your little ponies might fall for it hook, line, and sinker, but I've been playing this game for longer than you've been alive. I know what a cop-out looks like, and I do not appreciate it. It's boring! At least send her off to some wild place where she has to save the world with rainbow lasers again. A pony should not get to ascend to immortality just for going through all five stages of grief and their corresponding heartsongs in three hours.

Mind you, I don't disagree with the results. I merely think you could have at least gone in for a bit of flair. Granting phenomenal cosmic power to a young adult who's only had friends for the last three years? This is going to be great! I'm already making popcorn. Say, how come all of them don't get to be alicorns? That'd be a riot.

Yes, yes, you didn't do it for me, but the thing is, you didn't do it against me, either. I am very much looking forward to how this plays out. Do you think she's realized she's going to outlive all her friends yet? Will you tell her, while she has stars in her eyes when she looks at you? Or will you wait, until they can't keep up with her, until the arthritis and rheumatism and cataracts set in, until she realizes she's still as pristine as the day she got her wings? And she won't hate you for it, I hope you know. You've groomed her too well. She adores you. Even if she puts together that it's you who did this to her, you who took her friends from her for eternity, she will never, ever blame you.

Only you and I will know she should.

How many weights do you have on your withers, Celestia? How heavy is that crown? Maybe it wasn't a reward. Maybe you were just tired, so tired, of losing the students and proteges you've poured your heart into. Maybe you just didn't want another tiny piece of your soul to die, so you bartered away Twilight Sparkle's. She'll forgive you for it. You will never serve penance for your sins.

Isn't that just the worst part?

Ciao,
Discord

Author's Note:

Skipped "Just for Sidekicks" and "Games Ponies Play" because, frankly, I didn't want to rewatch them. Yes, this chapter is short, but MMC didn't really have a moral per se. Discord's just using it to mess with Celestia.

Comments

[Tango-Raptor]

... wow.

[Zapper Frost]

Dark

i.chzbgr.com/original/9286837504/h47EBB54C/

[Eroraf86]

Oof, I felt that from across the multiverse. I now demand that either you or someone else write Celestia’s reaction and/or response.

[Avogadro]

My favorite part is how Discord rubs in the fact that Celestia will never be Twilight Sparkles friend. Twilight will always approach Celestia from the bottom of a thirty foot pedestal, and never in all of eternity from eye-to-eye.

[Ninjadeadbeard]

Hoo boy. This is just diabolically written.

[Sir Starshine]

I really can’t say I disagree with him. Unless there are more ascensions in Twilight’s future, she really has been placed in an arguably position, having to watch all her friends and most of her family die. She would have Cadance and Flurry, and Spike will live for a long while yet, so she wouldn’t be totally alone. But it’s still a heavy burden.