- Member Since 4th Jun, 2019
- offline last seen Yesterday
The Loner
The world of fantasy is where I feel at home, where I can write whatever I want and not feel judged by the world
The Loner
Joined 4th Jun, 2019 ·
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Sorry about a few errors here and there, I did my best to address them. If I missed anything that bugs you, let me know and I will try to fix it.
Haven't read it yet, but non anthro HiE stories are a rare sight these days. You get points from the get go for having more than 1000 words a chapter. Don't you die on me.
9713371
Don't worry, I don't plan on it any time soon. So many chapters to write after this, the fun is just getting started. Just wait till I start getting the rest of the chapters edited
Wow.
what do you think about the story so far?
Please continue
I plan on continuing as soon as I find an editor to go through the unedited parts and find an ending to my current chapter
9760591
Amazing potential! The amount of good HiE fics has gone down, so I'm glad I found this.
That was great! The constant cringe worthy situations is what makes a story good in my opinion!
Any more plot twists, and my ankles might break.
Damn, he's a player! Though I feel like all these pregnancies and pone seks are a spiral, and it's all going to come crashing into John in the end.
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I will be doing a minor rewrite to the story to properly match Pinky Pie, to hell with waiting til it is edited. I will just make revisions to the titles to show that it is done. Sorry I haven't posted anything new for awhile, I lost the interest in writing after a bad review from an editor, but I will be picking up where I left off.
9924609
I haven't read your story yet, but I came across this comment and I would like to say a few things.
People forget that writing is an art, just like oil painting or playing a guitar. No one puts out a masterpiece when they first start out. It takes practice to improve. A lot of wasted paper, a lot of wasted canvas, a lot of wasted guitar pics. You don't improve unless you practice. Don't let negative feedback get you down. Do you know of the cartoonist Gary Larson from the Far Side Comics? His art teacher told him he would amount to nothing and he should just give up on art. Several publishers laughed him out of their offices because they thought his art was so bad. Fuckers a millionaire now.
Feedback.
The comment section on these forums are like a bunch of little kids. Children eat the same thing over and over. One kid will only eat peanut butter sandwiches. Thats all he wants every day, month in, month out. Hand him anything else, he throws a fit. Another kid sits in front of the TV watching the same Disney movie looping for hours and hours. Thats how they are. The people here are much the same way. Deviate from what they know and they throw a fit.
Write what they want you to write and you will write absolute garbage. There is a reason why so many stories here are dam near cookie cutter. There is also a reason why the best stories on this site rip cannon to shreds. The best Authors think outside the box. if Authors like MadMaxtheBlack, Reykan, or Dan_s Comments listened to what the comments wanted, none of their fantastic works would have been written. For example, the Story The House Remembered by Waxworks, one of the best Horror stories on this site is so far from canon, its not funny.
My point is, the comments section don't know what they want, so don't give their opinions too much weight. That being said, Sometimes that guy yelling at you IS RIGHT, and your house actually IS on fire. So feedback isn't always bad. Use common sense.
Just a few things I thought I would share.
The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart
You said Applebloom was 17 right...
9928164
it has been corrected, now she is 18. I can't believe I almost forgot about that detail.
9930834
Perfect...
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
I honestly have no idea lol but it would be curious
Please continue
I'm really liking the history, keep going it's pretty good.
(^-^)
Base on the chapters ending, that was Chrysalis.
I'm gonna try to push my way through the rest of this latest chapter for you all before christmas
Luna is going to have a field day.
I like it.
Sorry, I changed a couple things here and there in the sex scene to finish the chapter out. Enjoy!
I swear this is the last change I'm doing to this chapter, sorry for the inconvenience!
sorry to all of you for taking so long to finish this next chapter, it is a pain to write and hard for me to keep the events straight XD
Ok now we are talking, he has a really fucked up back story and he’s a soldier. We have all the makings of an asshole badass, I’m trembling with excitement.
The writing is kind of weird do, I dunno if it’s because you write thing like events instead of a story, don’t write in 3rd person. It gets specially bad when you start writing about equestria, it’s really hard to get emerge into the story when it’s written so coldly. around half the first chapter, when our protagonist arrive in equestria the writing get really sloppy, everything is written as events or statements and their reactions are out of character, try adding more details to the story like facial expression or thought and for the love of god stop using third person in such a disconnected way.
My last issue is how fast this little fucker got over his dead wife and child, I mean he was crying his eyes out but as soon as he meets the ponies he’s laughing and flirting, kinda shows how little he actually cared about them.
My sweet Christian eyes...
A shame, if WWIII waited one more month, he wouldve been in Woodland Multi-cam ainstead of ACU's
MRe's are good for MUCH longer than 5 years
since he never got a chance to grieve over his girlfriend and baby girl, This story will be scheduled for a rewrite. So until then, I'm sorry readers but it will be unpublished until I am satisfied with where it is. And until I hit a brick wall with The Sleeping Hero, please read it if you want to. I am going to republish it when the fixes are done, ONCE AGAIN...I'M SORRY READERS.
And suddenly a password is required?
9713371
I know that some don’t like when people do this, but if you like these types of stories (non anthro HIE), I’m currently writing 2 HiE ( one in progress of writing, the other one I will start to write soon ) and 1 Po”E” (“Earth” is between quotes because the story will be in a human universe, but not on Earth) ( writing right now ). All happening in the same universe, but in different time periods and worlds.
9928156
I wonder what that art teacher and those publishers thought when he did become a millionaire.
10318193
My bet would be that they were to dense to even think about it.
True story and an example. Guy had an idea, made a machine that he stuffed into an oversized suitcase and went around trying to sell his idea. Kodak film laughed him out of the office. So did their competitor. He went to Hewlet Packered and when the CEO saw it he laughed and said "Why the he@@ would anyone want an exact duplicate of a sheet of paper that they are already holding in their hand?" He got kicked out too. He went to this little factory that made little things out of metal and the owner of that factory saw the value of the idea and went into business with the guy. That factory name was Xerox. Much later in the 1970's Xerox forgot that important lesson. A small electronics lab of theirs had invented. The pointer arrow, the mouse, the Icon, Arrow based desktop we all use today. They had the personal computer years before anyone else. Their managers wanted to let two teens walk through the lab to see what they had. The Lab supervisor knew what they had and refused to let the teens see their inventions. The upper managers forced the lab to comply. The two teenagers, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs sat at the computer and learned as much as they could about Xeroxes mouse, and Icon based OS.
Then then stole all those ideas right under the nose of Xerox because they couldn't see what they had. History does repeat.
True story.
Not much different than the "Far Side" Artist Garry Larson
The Monk
“Hundreds of years,” Reflection muttered, enjoying the scratching. “That’s a lot of porn.” - Dropbear
Continue plz asap
Celestia ur quick to judge.
9760591
Awesome!
Another great story doomed to forever in hiatus to be rewritten that never comes.
sorry its taking so long to add a small section in the story for him to grieve, I may end up just doing a brief 500 word bit and then resuming with the story. RL is being a pain right now, sorry all.
You all ever accidentally fuck a horse? Me neither.
Somewhat funny chapter though
Sorry everyone, unpublishing the chapters to do a minor rewrite/edit of them after Chapter 1. I do plan on going through and correcting the tense issue to be in the present tense, so please bear with me as I go through this headache and finally add in a part for him to mourn. The second chapter will be much longer than I initially intended, from just a few additional paragraphs to a shit-ton of paragraphs.
The changes to Chapter 1 are finished, enjoy a slight change of things as I start working on chapter 2.
10773146
It is slowly coming, Chapter 1 is already done, now I'm working on the second.
Are you still going to continue this?