Anon appears to be using my cousin's dating style.

Ask and keep asking till you get an answer, if they say yes, go for it, but if they say no, then move one t the next one...

so when is the royal sisters turns they are the MILF's to rule them all.

If he doesn't bang Granny Smith, then Anonymous has far to go. Old mothers need some loving too!

Geez, I sure hope Sweetie Belle won't accidentally on this... Because then she'd want in on it too. That would be pedo.

The image surprised me

In a good way

Didin't he also smash Pinkie's mom?
FOR WHICH THAT, AND THE TWILIGHT VELVET PREQUEL, I'M STILL WAITING FOR!! ...please

9659559
He hasn't (I haven't) done pinkie yet! It will come!

You know it almost seems after reading this chapter that he’s fucking all their moms Talking to them as blank’s mom instead of their name Like he wants to get under their skin

9660206
He absolutely often just calls them 'blanks'-mom.

It's more to get under Rarity's skin in this fic though. The main point is that his fetish is really the fact it's a mom more than it is the mare.

You keep bringing up that Anon’s had sex with Twilight Velvet but I haven’t seen a story about it yet. Have you not made it yet or did it get deleted or something?

9668344
Haven't made it yet. It's the prequel which hasn't been written!

Judged and tallied.

Personally, I like my stories with a bit more elegance and with diligence to the characters borrowed. I can see the effort put into Rarity, but I can see some faults in the way these characters interact. Although this is chapter 1 only I'm enjoying it, yet the story goes in multiple directions through multiple genres that I'm not sure if it an erotic, a comedy, or a drama. Suffice to say, this is definitely not a romance. Erotica and Romance being something that I'm more akin to, of course.

I can see the entertainment value, but I'd prefer it if there was less slapstick comedy and more conflict between the characters with actual reasoning and necessities that surround their daily lives. Overall I do have to take the like and dislike ratio into account and it shows that you did a great job entertaining people who prefer something more innocent and less dreary than me. So in final words I place this on my recommendation and I'll be following more work from you as always.

-Sincerely your fan, Remedy Fortuitous Heart.

Rarity is such a hypocrite and closet slut. Great job! Continuing to read!

Rarity smirked. “Well. I make no claim to be the foremost expert on these things, but have you and father tried… spicing things up in the bedroom?”

“They use spices?” Cookie looked down at her lower bits with a skeptical tilt.

media1.tenor.com/images/ef40805f0ef37dc6c6f184147ffe8e63/tenor.gif?itemid=13889648

“Well, I did have a chance to chat with Rainbow Dash and Twilight’s moms the last time we were all together for that charity foundation dinner: ‘ S uperhero M others A gainst S egragation of H umans’.“

SMASHMOUTH?

I know, I'll see myself out.

Rarity’s face quickly rivalled the crimson color palette of Big Macintosh. “Get your damned, dirty, ape hands off of her!” she shouted, leaping to rescue Cookie from his predatory clutches.

I just knew there was going to be a Planet of the Apes reference!

Do we even want to stop him?

WE DO NOT. REMOVE ALL OBSTACLES. BREAK THEM.

*khem*

Aaaanyway...

For some reason, I like these. They're so incredibly fucked up I'm getting the weirdest boners ever.

It's like watching a homeless druggie give birth behind a dumpster. You just can't look away. It's impossible. And now it's reminding me of Bill Hicks' routines.

Proceed. I want to know what kind of a meltdown Twilight had - I'm sure it was epic. And I wonder what sort of a meltdown she'd have if her mom "introduced" her little friend to Celestia... ;]

from that musical… GREASE?

Not to be confused with "Greece". From my (admittedly limited) experiences, people from Greece are typically not 'greasy', despite their country's name.

Also Turkey is not representative of its people either.

‘Superhero Mothers Against Segragation of Humans’.“

*Segregation, not "segragation". Greg, not "grag".

I locked him in my fridge, remember?”

...Except that this comic has Cookie using the word "spicy" when here she thinks it's referring to food spices, and the comic has Cookie say she and Hondo like to 'branch out' and 'experiment' with their sexual endeavours. Which isn't the case here.
Oops. Plot holes. Oops. Should've checked that before writing yourself into two plot holes. Oops.

the very visiion

*Vision. Doesn't have three 'i's, only two.

“Just how the hay did you get in!?””

Two speech marks at the end, instead of just one.
...You might need an editor...

“Stop propositioning my mother or I’ll cut your bucking balls off!!!”

How come mares are allowed to use grievous bodily harm and genital mutilation as threats against stallions (and in this case, a man), but stallions cannot use the same as threats against mares?
Sexism. Best course of action: make it socially suicidal for mares to threaten such, just as it is for stallions. No threatening grievous bodily harm or genital mutilation for anypony.

but this feels more like something AJ and Applebloom

*Apple Bloom. Two words. Like "Sweetie Belle" - two words. Not like "Applejack", which is one word. Apple. Bloom.

your breath smell like ass

*Smells. With an 's' at the end, because it's referring to a specific, singular object. Without the 's' at the end, it can be an individual thing of its own ("the smell") or be used to refer to multiple objects ("the oranges smell").

This was a wild start I hope him and Rarity become close after all this.

OMG! XD These are the type of stories that keep me up at night! X3 I am definitely reading more!

Okay, I'm paying attention to the fetish tags this time around. This seems pretty okay to me. And it has Rarity in it. Good, good. This sounds promising.

Rarity groaned in agony.

Oh, dear. You're going to give yourself a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack if you work too hard, sister.

“...aaaaand that’s the end of the session mares! And the end of tape one - basic Jazzercise!” The TV screen blared out. The perky young pegasus on the screen sported a cheerful smile before pointing at her unseen audience with her wing. “Make sure you take a rest day, then pop in tape 2 - intermediate Jazzercise - and remember: stay Jazzy!”

I have really high hopes for this story. I think you're gonna wow me. I could be wrong but the winds are quite auspicious.

camo.fimfiction.net/tFGVRhfBmlciLx255zmnzrjxp_PSYgVIQkF_drVPMhE?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2016%2F4%2F20%2F1136194.jpeg

There isn't better artwork of this mare? I mean, yeah, I'm a bit uncharitable given I look at 200+ on derpibooru day in and day out but yeech! But I am biased; I just dislike bloated asses on mares generally.

Rarity released the charge, magical tendrils slicing along her alabaster fur and cleaning it of sweat, combing out any tangles or misplaced ends in her gorgeous purple mane. It left her sparkling with radiance.

You're on top of your game, me boyo. I hope to God I'm not jinxing this story with my praise.

“Oh, I’m not saying that he can’t get it up!” Cookie quickly corrected. “Not at all! He can get his little-stiffy up any time.”

Oof! Houston, we have a problem...

So I guess this means this woman is going to be unfaithful and cheat with Anon. I just can't win with these stories, can I?

“He may not the tallest tree in the forest, sure… but he’ll get up faster than Celestia’s dress size after a bake sale.”

Do you use this joke in every single story you right? It reminds me of my once-per-story reference to the "stallion aficionado" when I'm introducing Roseluck — an absurd watermark.

“Oh.” Cookie Crumbles sagged in her seat, ears splaying back. “I’m sorry hun. I just, I was thinking it was something I could talk to you about. You’re such a sophisticated, mature mare.”

You're sophisticated so I thought you'd appreciate talking about dicks. Can't say my Mom is all that much more perceptive though when it comes to discussing things. "Hey son, remember that embarrassing obsession you had when you were younger? That was really embarrassing!"

Cookie looked up at her daughter with hesitation. “Well… don’t you find it’s all a bit… boring after a while?”

If jerking it to cartoon horses is boring, I don't want to know what interesting is.

Game of Drones…

Kudos for not taking the easy road and using "Game of Pones". So what's GoD about? Is it like dueling factions within a changeling colony killing each other and fucking their daughters?

Rarity smirked. “Well. I make no claim to be the foremost expert on these things, but have you and father tried… spicing things up in the bedroom?”

“They use spices?” Cookie looked down at her lower bits with a skeptical tilt.

Spices are fucking great! 4.50 ducats per turn. Have you ever even played in the South Pacific theater? The real fun part is denying the Europeans their spice colonies so the price stays high all game and you get bloody rich! Malaya forever!

i.ytimg.com/vi/Y1wlZ2JKwEE/maxresdefault.jpg

(This guy didn't capture the Philippines? What a noob!)

“Oh I did ask him the other night — wanted to see if he’d try giving me a little nip on the neck after a couple of pumps.” Cookie blushed a bit. “I felt a bit ashamed to ask… very wild, I know. But you should have seen his reaction!

Comma after "Oh".

Jeez, this guy sounds like he's really stopped trying if he won't even nip her neck. How vanilla is this guy?

“What if I was just a sophisticated young Canterlot fashionista? What would you do for fun?”

I'm stunned the story has gone this long without Anon showing up. You're putting a lot of love and care into this thing. I shouldn't sound so surprised but I am. Anon stories are generally lazy, shitty endeavors but this one actually has aspirations! It's not Shakespeare or anything but damn. You're doing a stellar job with the material, I'll grant you that.

Her mother’s brain might just melt if she knew what was normal in the after-parties of the fashion world.

Ever had your ears fucked, Ma?

“Well, I did have a chance to chat with Rainbow Dash and Twilight’s moms the last time we were all together for that charity foundation dinner: ‘Superhero Mothers Against Segragation of Humans’.“

Pffffffft!

“Well, it’s actually Mrs. Shy’s foundation. She’s trying her darndest to stop the Equestrian government from making humans live separately from us.”

We should live separately from you. We're a destructive element in your society and we have homes of our own. Send us all back and start fucking your own kind. You can't sustain a nation with other people's offspring. Hell, you can't even breed with us in the first place...

I'm self-deporting after this story is over.

“There’s only one human in Equestria.” Rarity scowled. “I know him… hay… you met him briefly, a few months back. I locked him in my fridge, remember?”

Fucking based!

“Oh not at all!” Cookie waved a hoof at her daughter dismissively. “I had a long conversation with Twilight and Windy; according to them, it doesn’t count if your partner is from another dimension.”

Sheeeeeiiiit!

“W-what!?” Are you implying that I… with him?” Rarity tapped her own chest with a hoof. “Moi, the very visiion of Equestrian poise and gentility… communing with that - that… animal!?”

I am going to be so pissed if Rarity ends up having sex with the human. Can't any of the ponies be based? I hate when people do that with Human in Equestria fiction. Even my favorite author did that! Arrrgghhh! So annoying! And I'm getting people hating me for some zebra action. There's no justice in Piss Earth, I swear to God...

Don't give in to the globalist project, Rarity!

“Woah. That’s actually pretty species-ist, Rara.” Anon

Oh shut the fuck up, you cigarette! Nobody asked you. Go back where you came from and "enrich" your own people with your presence.

“ANON, WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” Rarity screamed jumping up on all four hooves and panting in fear, all pretense of poise abandoned.

That's a pretty hard character break, Cloppy. Yikes.

“Just how the hay did you get in!?””

You got a bit excited with the quotation marks at the end there.

Anon, however, swung out of the way effortlessly. “Why, these legs look like they could rival that hick Appulhorse’s thunder-thighs…”

Oh, fuck this guy. I'm done here...

I can't complain about the writing. There's the usual smattering of grammatical errors but your word choice, description, narrative flow, characterization, dialogue and descriptive flair are all on full display. If I didn't hate Anon's stupid face so much, I'd keep reading. It really is a shame Rarity is forced to deal with this ridiculous nonsense. Out of all the Mane Six, you do her the best!