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Mal Masque

Master of Mayhem, Mirth, and Mania, call me Mal Masque, Writer of the Weird and Wonderful


Yamira Kalov. Lady Commissar of the Astra Militarum. The Flayed Face of the Guard. Loyal servant of the Imperium of Man. All these titles and more.
Diplomat to Xenos is not one of them.
After a grievous devastation brought on by Yamira's carelessness, she has been forcibly reassigned to act as a liason to new allies who have reached out to the Imperium from beyond the universal veil: the Merodi Universalis. Naturally, a woman raised to hate all that are not human nor worship the God-Emperor of Mankind and the Golden Throne he sits upon will not take well to this. Surrounded by faces of allies and enemies alike, Yamira must stake her claim in the multiversal mixing pot that she finds herself in, whether it be by word of peace or by sword of slaughter.

A side story to the incredibly expansive and extremely well-written mega-crossover: Songs of the Spheres, by the talented madman, GMBlackjack. Please read his work to better understand this story, and support his works.

Cover art done by @carna.age (Instagram)/hyppy#8910 (Discord)

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 69 )

Well, guess one of us had to start posting eventually.

Revisiting this sequence again is interesting. Mostly reinforcing how little basically everyone involved in this situation wants to do with it. I'd mostly paid attention to Yamira and the 40k when I'd read the drafts but Amber and Cage are out of their element here too. If not for the Emperor himself I doubt that either Merodi or the Imperium would be willing to come to the table.



A setting drowning in grimdark meeting one that radiates noblebright from its every pore. Consider this followed!

“...and the will of the God Emperor of Mankind.”

Typo. Galaxa Immaterium is explicitly the Text-to-Speech-verse. That should be Man-Emperor of Mankind. :raritywink:

Of course, Yamira appears to be where Bruva Alfabusa stored all the grimdark he siphoned out of the rest of the setting. For good or for ill, this will certainly be a diplomatic mission to remember. Looking forward to it. (Though I was kind of hoping the diplomat would be Lightning Dust. Of course, someone probably would've end up shot of they went that route.)

I can only imagine how the Emperor would react to this outrage on his behalf. Not well, I would think.

In any case... yeah, this going to get all kinds of awkward. A commissar and a Tau sharing the same enclosed space? Let's hope Celestia City is close by. And that Amber learns that there's a time and place for making friends with fellow diplomats.

We are just getting started, :D.

It's going to be interesting to watch the Merodi Universalis besiege Kalov's beliefs just by existing.

So... I know very little about Warhammer to be honest. Is there a reason the humans are so horrible? Did something happen to them or did they just go full genocide when they developed space travel?

In a nutshell, a series of unprecedented disasters happened to the burgeoning empire that was the Imperium of Man several thousand years prior and a great many of the alien races in the galaxy at the time, some of which were humanity's allies, decided to turn on the Imperium in its weakened state. As a result the Emperor declared that any alien race that didn't submit to Imperial rule was to be wiped out, but those that did submit were to become protectorates. This declaration has since degenerated into "Kill ALL the Xenos," and with the Emperor a hair's breadth from death and unable to communicate, he hasn't been able to correct it.

Mind you, the Emperor may have decided to eventually declare war on the Merodi Universalis anyway due to it being a slap in the face to his rigid, unmovable belief in absolute human supremacy even if he wasn't interred on the Golden Throne and constantly at death's door for several millenia, so it's a bit hard to tell. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time the Emperor's galaxy-sized ego ruined the Imperium...

Emperor did not give any xenos a change to join their empire, it was always sou that mankind will rule over the whole galaxy. At one point was there a change given to xenos to submit. All xenos are to be wiped off that is what primarchs did and when ever there was a religion in was to be wiped off, if humans were worshipping xenos they were to be whipped off. Because galaxy is mankind's birthright. There has not been any mention in Horus heresy books that says other wise. And by suddenly imperium would just give in their whole ideology that is over 10 millennium old that mankind would not bow down to any other species because mankind is superior is against everything that emperor taught.


‘I believe you,’ said Vulkan, staring into the desert reaches, trying to commit to memory this desolation that he called home.

‘In the Imperial Truth?’

‘I believe you want to save mankind. I believe you have a vision and mean to see it done whatever the cost.’

‘I have and I will,’ the Emperor replied. ‘It sounds bloody. It will be. Conquest always is, but there is darkness in the galaxy, Vulkan, the remnants left behind after Old Night. Horrors you can scarcely imagine. Superstition and fear, a race enslaved by its own isolation. There is but one path for mankind that does not end in extinction. The path I offer. I desire mankind’s pre-eminence. Its evolution. I raised armies and unified a world to try to accomplish it.’

‘And created sons, primarchs.’

‘Yes,’ said the Emperor, His voice serious but not unkind. ‘I made you. And your brothers.’

Vulkan frowned. ‘Why? You already said we are your generals, your legacy, but why create us so differently and cast us far from your sight?’

The Emperor pursed His lips, and Vulkan suspected there were some truths He would not reveal.

‘I am a singular being, Vulkan. I am a man, and also more than man. I sometimes think of myself as a creator, much as you think of yourself. A maker. At other times, a father. Yet, I find I am… removed. My concerns are of a lofty nature.’

From the book "Mercy of the dragon"

Galaxa Immaterium is kind of a funny place in that regard that the universe's Black Library contains the universe's own source material.

I was partially incorrect. It was during the Age of Strife that this happened, but my point still stands; alien races that pre-Imperium humanity thought were friends screwed them over when they were at their most vulnerable, and so upon taking power the Emperor decided that alien races could either submit or die, or submit and then die if they were either deemed a threat (which happened really often) or had something the Imperium wanted (also really often). Alien races being not to be a threat to mankind and being made protectorates, while extremely rare, was not unheard of under the Emperor's rule, which is probably why the overwhelming majority of the current Imperium doesn't remember it and thus they an exceptionally itchy trigger finger when it comes to xenos.

There are some exceptions, though, such as the jokaero and the Watchers; they're active in the Imperium and are heavily utilized by two of the most trigger-happy and paranoid groups of nutters in the Imperium: the Inquisition and the Dark Angels respectively.

age of strife had nothing to do with imperium because it was before unification wars,Emperor has not once given xenos a change to submit. Jokaeros are not considered xenos, they are considered animals ho can make technology only because their basic instinct. Not because they think, and they are only used by radical inqusition meaning that what ever they do do not have imperiums approval. Same thing like they use deamon weapons, switch are completely banned, if found out by other inquisitors they will be shot. When in a book pandorax catachan jungle fighters was one they almost shot it. Emperor has not once said that xenos would be spared hell even some mutated humans were killed off because they were too far. Even ab humans are considered second class citizens. There is no mention in Horus heresy books that says that they would let them live. If they were harmless they were wiped off and replaces by human colonist, if they were too strong they were destroyed.
I even went and looked great crusade chronology and there is no mention of any protectorate switch was offered. In what book it says other wise because i have read them for years and this is first time this is mentioned.


Observers from the Imperial administration accompanying the III Legion's Expeditionary Fleet wondered if perhaps the Laer might be made a protectorate of the Imperium as conquering such an efficient race could prove to be a long and costly endeavour. Fulgrim was disgusted by any notion of co-operation or alliance with a xenos species. Only humanity was perfect, he insisted. For an alien race to hold its own ideals to be comparable to those of Mankind was unthinkable, and deserved only annihilation. He ordered his Lord Commanders to attack immediately, and initiated a war that the Council of Terra had predicted would last for several solar decades.

This is the only time some thing like that was mentioned by thous ho had no actual power to any form of decisions, and Fulgrim ho had all the power to decide refused immediately because something like that was unthinkable and attack without giving them any change of diplomacy.

Comment posted by Double Vision deleted June 7th

"He's been up to all sorts of things, our beloved father. Consorting with Xenos, resurrecting ancient technology. Don't believe that he is blameless in this..."
- Magnus the Red

In addition to the above quote, there is also the matter of Rogue Traders. The Warrant of Trade given to each Rogue Trader and their family grants them a great many permissions not available to your average Imperial citizen, including trading with and even hiring xenos as mercenaries, and the earliest Warrants of Trade came from the Emperor's own hand with those exact same permissions. The Emperor never trusted xenos, most of the time with good reason, but he knew that some had their uses, otherwise the Rogue Traders' permissions to deal with xenos would have been the same as their granted permissions for dabbling in Chaos: nonexistent.

What are you quoting is golden throne switch is xeno tech but there is no evidence that he has ever met xenos or said that they would be spared. And what comes to rogue traders. They do not represent imperium in any way.
they do it but it is still illegal to bring such technology to the imperium. There is a good example in forges of mars book.

The two crewmen lifted the stasis chest onto the table and backed away when he gave them a nod of thanks. He saw the admiration for the workmanship that had gone into the crafting of the stasis chest, and more than one magos blink-clicked images at the sight of it.

‘An unusual design,’ said the disembodied voice of Magos Azuramagelli, his steel armature flexing and his multiple brain jars leaning over the tabe. ‘It has an aesthetic reminiscent of eldar workmanship.’

‘That’s because it was made by an eldar bonesinger,’ said Roboute.

‘And how comes it into your possession?’ asked Magos Dahan. ‘An act of piracy or trade?’

‘Neither, actually,’ said Roboute. ‘It was a gift.’

‘A gift?’ said Kul Gilad, leaning forwards and placing two enormous fists on the table. ‘Am I given to understand you willingly consort with xenos species?’

‘I am a rogue trader, Reclusiarch,’ said Surcouf. ‘I deal with xenos species as a matter of course.’

Kul Gilad turned to Kotov. ‘You said nothing of us employing xeno-tech.’

‘Don’t worry, it’s just the chest that’s eldar,’ said Roboute

Does this sound like it is okay to them? What was given was not alien tech it content was imperium made but the box was xenos oriented.
Another example was that of a tau emmissary in one of ciaphas can books ho wanted to talk with local tech priest hood.
He was almost shot by gun servitor when he stepped out their shuttle and was stripped out from all of his tech before he was let in their sanctuary because all tech that is not human bade is tech heresy.


Well, someone had to say it.

I know how crazy sensitive and violent the Imperium gets, I got enough of it back home

... Huh. That leads to some interesting questions.

I needed something lighthearted after the latest chapter of Songs of the Spheres. This was a most welcome contrast, dangling roasted eyeballs and all. Looking forward to more.

Obligatory Commissar meme quota has been fulfilled, thus is my satisfaction.

Finally, I don’t think I could take another pansie. At least amber has some spine to her. Looking forward to Commissars reaction to Eve.

Finally... friggin' FINALLY! I was waiting for someone to shut her up, even if I know it's only temporary, and that it was Amber makes it all the sweeter!

Yeah, that went about as well as could be expected. I can't say I'm surprised that the idea of a Xenos on Holy Terra outweighed the literal endorsement of the Emperor in Yamira's mind. It'll likely take him speaking directly to her to get the idea of intercultural cooperation through her skull. Though experiencing some literal local flavor may help... assuming her tongue isn't as damaged as her face.

Also, a Stand that relies on preexisting smoke would certainly explain Cage's habit. Need to keep up the minimum amount if he has to vanish at a moment's notice.

And just a heads up, you're developing some tense issues. Present tense shouldn't show up outside of dialogue.

Looking forward to more.

Thanks for the heads up on the tense issues. I’ll be sure to rectify that in the future. And thanks as well for your support of this story!


I can't say I'm surprised that the idea of a Xenos on Holy Terra outweighed the literal endorsement of the Emperor in Yamira's mind.

How hard do you think her brain is overclocking itself to keep her from realizing that by ignoring the Emperor's endorsement she is in fact guilty of heresy?

Though experiencing some literal local flavor may help... assuming her tongue isn't as damaged as her face.

She doesn't mind the nutrient paste. That right there is a sign of both a damaged mind and palate.

The metal table they had been seated at was on the outside patio, by request of the pony staff who “politely” requested that two heavily armed diplomats and their flesh-adorned automaton do so to avoid potentially disturbing the other customers.

So instead, they can frighten off future customers. Brilliant! :pinkiecrazy:

She found herself staring at a bench right across the way, which seemed to be occupied by two suited men, one who was not too tall and one who was not too short.

... Penn and Teller?

The Merodi really need to define the limits of amnesty, assuming they haven't. Of course, Zasraman is probably dancing on the spot just before crossing that particular line.

Poor Yamira. Between the apparent daemons, the literal Daemons, and all those xenos, it's no wonder she's hitting the paste. And it's probably only going to get stranger from here.

Yamira promptly closed the door in Windmind’s face and went back onto the bed, retrieving a can of nutrient paste from the confines of her jacket.

You try to be friendly. :ajbemused:

Ok, this fic is not well thought out, the IoM is extreamly out of character so to say.the author is either intentionally changing things about iit or only has superficial knowledge about the 40k universe, especially regarding the emperor. Im sorry but for a 40k fan this is unacceptable.

This IoM is the TTS-verse one. It's a semi-comedy universe.

TTS? Pretty sure thats even worse. Yeah, on one hand the big E would do something like this for the lulz, on the other hand, he would also fart out a warp storm in the middle of celestia city, also for the lulz

The running joke of the TTSverse is that everyone is a an idiot, Emps-fanatics aren't self-aware and that incompetence runs amok.


To be honest, two-thirds of that is true in the basic WH40K too. Not everyone is an idiot, that is. But most folks are.

Still, this is excellently written, and absolutely in spirit of TTS.
I wonder why the Merodi put forth such a novice diplomat on such a hard case, though.

hum id give it two more days maybe one before she shoots a xeno in the face when i comes down to it changing the view of

“ Imperium’s territory,” Yamira said. “A territory which encompasses… millions of worlds.”

is not going to happen

“R-right.” Amber blushed and brought her hoof down. “So, the Captain-General said that the Emperor would consider our offer for alliance, as it apparently wasn’t the first time the Imperium had worked with outside forces. But, he said that in order to do so, we needed to convince the entire Imperium that we truly wish to help. Which means-”

the words are the Entire Imperium taken as said that mean everyone in the imperium every man woman and child in the Imperium that is not going to happen the 40K Imperium as a whole has lost to much and die to often to not hate all xeno for all time, they can not be changed when it comes down to it all i see is the war will start is just a matter of time and yes the Imperium might lose but the losses that everyone would take doing so would not be few a trillion dead on each side

They will mostly likely do what Ciaphas cain said in a book "the greater good". When they loosely allied themselves with tau.

All in all, I supposed, it could have been worse; at least no one was suggesting we went charging off to engage the hive fleet head on. With any luck it would bypass the forge world entirely, leaving the tau to blunt their advance while we sat on the sidelines, poised to render them all possible assistance short of actually doing anything, leaving us ready to mop up the survivors of both sides; we might even be able to annex a couple of their worlds for a change into the bargain (which would serve them right for trying to grab Quadravidia, if you asked me).

And hoo was that idiot hoo thought that zealos commisar is suitable for any diplomatic mission, even thou imperium has their own diplomats. Thou their stupid ideas of long lasting alliance to a imperium filled with anti xeno propaganda.

the thing is like she said in a chapter before if a battle sister or a more fanatical member of them that was send it could have been alot worse to be honest she might be the least fanatical commissar iv ever seen in the 40k

But commisars are zealos to imperial creed because that is their whole job, to keep teaching of a imperium in check withing her assigned regiment. They are not made for politics. For example there are naval commisars and guard commisars with their own rules. Commisar can kill even planatery governer if she or he is threatening her regiment well being. Commisars does not however power of action of the guard that is colonels duty. Politically commisar does not have any power what so ever.

the only justifications i can come up with is that someone high up in the imperium wants this to fail OR she is more that she seams OR the emperor willed it think about it the first world they head to is one she has been to before seams a bit to unlikely remember “A territory which encompasses… millions of worlds" someone or something is playing games with her for good or ill we will have to w8 and see

Well if they wanted it to fail then why do it at all, Captain general is a high lord but he is one of many high lords and if i know anything about high lords after reading a book "Watchers of the Throne: The Emperor's Legion" is that they cannot agree on anything. And going to political mission to every single world would take several life times because there are sou many world that some are even forgotten. And if they think that they can change every single humans thinking about corrupting presence of xenos, they are either mad or these xenos are trying to manipulate just like tau etherearls do to other tau members.

they cant just not do it the emperor has commanded and the highlords have agreed(or been over ruled) to it but that dose not mean the astra militarum or the Adeptus Ministorum agrees so sending a soldier not a diplomat would make sense if they are trying to make if fail OR

“Hey Bacon-face,” Cage said.

"That's practically a benediction on one world, you know."
"Then you are fortunate I cannot execute you for heresy."

For all their progress, the Merodi still haven't made tolerable elevator music. Unless that's intentional and they pipe in the good stuff for the less insufferable diplomats.

Of course it's the nineteenth floor.

Agents from a vague, yet menacing government agency.

I can't help but think of the Agents from American Gods, a collective deity made from belief that such a sinister organization must exist. These fellows likely have a different nature, but still...

Convince the entire Imperium. Yeah, definitely sounds like the kind of thing the TTS Emperor would pull. Either he expects them to fail or he plans on them succeeding, and I'm not sure which is worse. In any case, Amber grossly overestimates Yamira's willingness to help. I don't see this ending at all well.

This will take a while to get likes, but they will havi at the end, it's just starting :D

There has not been even one long lasting alliance within imperiums history, there has not even been any actual cooperation between thous alliances. There has not never been alliance switch emperor has ever approved. High lords would not accept anything that would not benefit their own status. There for mechanicus would not agree because they dont benefit from it. Militarum would not agree because that is a stain to lord commander militants honor and because his rivals would use it to be themselves elected. Ecclesiarchy would not agree because that is against they whole religion. And not in one point has emperor himself said anything, because that would not pass as proof. If Ecclesiarchys representative would say "ahh yes emperor said in my dreams we would do this and this", they would not bee fool enough to believe him. High lords are there for a reason they will vote for things for imperiums behalf ho emperor himself ordered to be made. And because emperor is never wrong, there fore they still would have to vote for it.

‘We’ve had a hundred crises, and never gone against the old pacts. What’s next – you dissolve the Treaty of Olympus?’

‘The Lex Imperialis is inviolable,’ agreed Aveliza Drachmar, the hatchet-faced mistress of the Adeptus Arbites. ‘It is unacceptable to modify its provisions at the first sign of military setback.’

So far, so predictable. I was happy to let the opposed parties make their cases.

‘Hardly the first sign,’ replied Merelda Pereth, Lord High Admiral of the Imperial Navy. She was a quietly cool character, used to giving orders under extreme pressure. I liked her. ‘You might argue we’ve shown considerable restraint.’

‘It’s still heresy,’ said Baldo Slyst, the ancient Ecclesiarch, and after Haemotalion the most absurdly over-embellished. He placed his many-ringed fingers before him on the stone table and fixed the rest of the High Lords with the bleak stare of a prophet. ‘The God-Emperor’s Will was reflected in that Edict. To erode it now is weakness of faith.’

‘It is weakness of mind to change nothing when the facts demand it,’ countered Uila Lamma, the Paternoval Envoy of the Navigators. Alone among the High Lords, Lamma was a representative of the real power behind the Houses, the vast and bloated mutant who occupied the Paternoval Palace of the warp scryers. I liked her too – as a servant like me, albeit an exalted one, she had retained some sense of proportion in life. ‘How many times have we seen the Lex bind our hands, when the Enemy has no law at all? We have held back from creating thousands more Chapters because we are held in thrall by the Lord Commander’s ancient doctrine. I say the day has long since passed for this. Let us unleash the Ten Thousand. Let us unlock the gene-labs and create new Space Marines to serve under our direct command. Let us re-form the Imperial Army, arm the Ecclesiarchy and end these divisions that cripple us.’

That was dangerous talk, and risked making the argument unwinnable. The first rule of political change was to limit what was being asked for – they would never go for a wholesale revision of the Codex Astartes.

Leops Franck spoke next, the stick-thin Master of the Astronomican and the last of those who opposed the motion. ‘You are forgetting your history, my lords,’ he whispered through his rebreather, making all strain to hear him. ‘Every crisis appears to its own generation as the greatest of them all. When the Beast threatened to destroy the Imperium, we did not unleash the Ten Thousand. When Nova Terra raised its heretical head, we did not unleash the Ten Thousand. When Vandire ushered in the Reign of Blood, we did not unleash the Ten Thousand. In every case, we held firm and the wisdom of millennia was affirmed. Waver from that now, and we will deserve to perish.’

From the book "watchers of the throne"

Yeah, TTS-verse or not, "hunky-dory" should never be uttered within the 40k Milky Way.

Yamira held back a smile when she recognized the always delightful line of Ciaphas Cain posters, ever the unmitigated badass, as the citizens would call him, and yet in all her years of service, she still had yet to make the legendary Commissar’s acquaintance.

To his inexpressible relief, I'm sure.

“Emperor preserve me, a talking horse!” Velour exclaimed, pressing a hand to his chest. “I never thought I would see something so extraordinary since the Felanids!”

We do not talk about the Felanids.

We have a barely subcritical pony in the room. If someone doesn't defuse her, "diplomatic incident" won't begin to cover the aftermath.

If I have to know about the Felinids, ESPECIALLY the TTS iteration of the Felinids, then so should everyone else. Share the pain. SHARE THE PAIN

Damn you, Carlos McConnell. Damn you and your barrel-aged tequila.

iT's BlOoDy JeAnStEaLeRs!

Lets hope Amber doesn't get infected. Merodi medical could probably cure it, but better not take chances.

“But, ratlings do have their uses, I guess.”

Ratling sniper Belagg Grakk lay on the seventh floor and waited. He had been behind enemy lines for three days now. The fighting had swilled around and through the building, and passed on again, like a tornado, or a tidal wave. And now he was among them.

It was how he fought. A small, secret shadow waiting for his moment to strike. A mortar team here, an officer there, just enough to keep the enemy disoriented and wary. Eight floors up, with las-batteries for a hundred and fifty shots.

A hundred and fifty dead heretics.

you could say that from "cadia stand book"
Yamira stood behind the Captain, and cursed when she saw the lost limb. “By the Emperor,” she snarled. “Genestealers. No doubt lingering from that infestation Velour had off-handedly mentioned earlier.”
Was it purestrain genestealer? Because if it was then there is several generations worth of genestealer cultist.

“The League needs to know!” Before Yamira could raise her objections, the floor exploded around Amber, shards of wood and stone scattering like shrapnel as several chitinous arms jutted forth. Amber barely had time to scream before she was dragged into the floor, her tablet snapping in two as she vanished.

Well she is a goner because if it is a purestrain it can immediately implant her.

I took the combat knife from the sergeant’s harness and knelt beside Holenbi’s body, ripping one of the dressings away to reveal a small deep wound slanting up under the ribcage. I sliced it open, ignoring the horrified gasps from those around me, and felt around with blood-slick fingers. After a moment I found what I’d expected to be there, and yanked out a small fibrous bundle of organic material.

‘What the hell’s that?’ Kasteen asked, over the sound of Sulla being violently sick.

‘A genestealer implant,’ Amberley explained. ‘Once it takes root in a host, it gradually subverts their own genetic identity, turning any offspring into hybrids. A generation or two after that you start to get purestrains showing up, along with hybrids almost indistinguishable from humans, and the taint continues to spread.’ She indicated an identical wound on Velade’s torso. ‘They were both infected when the ‘stealers overran them.’

‘The disorientation was the real giveaway,’ I added. ‘The implant messes with the brain chemistry, so the host remains unaware of being infected. All they recall is a confused impression of fighting, and assume they’ve escaped.’

From the book "for the emperor"

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