• Member Since 8th Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen March 17th

Barley Citrus


I write about the countless coital encounters between humanoid horsies, anthropomorphous equines and at least passably bipedal pony people... Also, I really fuckin like Equestria Girls my dudes.

Comments ( 44 )

Shakespearicles in 3...

2...

1...

nice work.

Downvoted.

No threesome at all implied. I am disappoint.

Don't take that seriously.

~Skeeter The Lurker

9655144
The threesome happens metatextually my dude
You gotta read between the lines

I'm just hoping this is a mother and daughter thing.

Stay out of this Night Light.

I enjoyed this. The dirty talk was also good 👍

9655176
Yeah, it's just mother/daughter
I definitely considered that the opening scene has a very daddy/daughter vibe
But there's none of that in this fic at least

9655183
Thanks, I'm glad you appreciated it
And yeah, I'm happy with how the dirty talk came out

I did not come out here to see that.




No offense at all, you did good.

That's when she walks in on her daughter jerking off.

Wait a minute...

Really great work!

Well now this sounds fun 😏

Excellent story! Don’t know if you’re considering writing a sequel, too, but that would definitely be great.

9655630
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it
I'd love to hear if anything stood out to you?
What was your favourite part?

9655818
9655544

You're in luck
I do have a sequel planned
Might not be soon, but it's definitely coming

This is really good!

9655954
YES, SEQUEL PRETTY PLEASE

9656078
Thank you
I'd love to hear what made it really good for you?
what did you like most about it?

9656086
Oh trust me
I have something planned for it

She was pleasantly surprised, however, once it was on by how natural it felt on her: not at all like her times in high school. Her previous experiences with them had been formative in making her think condoms were supposed to pinch the base of your cock and feel uncomfortable.

Interesting, I'm guessing she chose the wrong size. That would suck.

Congratz, ya got featured. 6/1/2019

9656294
Of course it got featured. It's wank fuel.

9655954
When you post the sequel send me a message telling you?
it would be interesting and sexy too see pregnant velvet, and how she could convince the night that is his
well in dna test would give with respect to it anyway
Velvet should have her husband take a sample of sperm, giving the excuse that she wants to have another child or something (if she realizes she was pregnant, how her menstruation is delayed and feel small, and then buy a test at the pharmacy and do when night is not at home, of course throw it in the trash of some neighbor through the doubts
and what would be the twinlight reaction if it was known that, impregnated velvet? )
Sorry for bad English, online translator.

TwiVet? And futa TwiVet? And human futa TwiVet?!

You glorious motherfucker, I could kiss you.

9656192
Yeah, it's a surprisingly common mistake
I would even say that the majority of high schoolers think condoms are supposed to feel uncomfortable

9656339
Yeah tbh
I know it's pretty feature-box-fuely
But porn is my wheelhouse
So I'm p happy to fuel so many wanks

9656294
Thanks, I'm p happy about it

9656898
That's just how I roll
mwah mwah

9656117
When Twilight and Velvet started to have sex. Kinda turn me on tbh

9656506
I appreciate it
Though I doubt I would remember to message you
There will be a sequel, but it won't be soon

And I'll go ahead and say that no pregnancy will be involved
for this story Twilight is canonically infertile

9656956
Ah, this sucks.
but maybe after she used magic
Could it be that the magic fixed it right?
xDD, a joke
I'll be waiting on updated stories then

9655953
Honestly I liked how straight to the point velvet was, with the whole thing. Also your characterization for twilights parents is really realistic and also super cool with how it led to the plot of the fic.

Twilight Velvet NEEDS to fuck her daughter

and here's 25 reasons why!
number 5 will SHOCK you!

Judged and tallied. Good work author.

I'd like to know who Twilight 'did' in high school. Any one of her friends in particular or did she work her way down the list. Or perhaps all at once at a Pinkie Party?

Sequel would be nice, but how about a prequel?

9668238
Well, I didn't have a particular character in mind
So no prequel, technically
But I do have a "Twi losing her virginity" fic planned for the future
So, I mean... we can pretend it's canon

Though I do have actual sequels planned

I’d like to preface this by saying that I’m not much of a fan of futa, and my issues with the kink are pretty prevalent here. While it’s not truly important to this story, I still feel left pretty out of the loop as to why Sci Twi has a girldick. Is she trans? Is this the result of some science experiment she did? Under what circumstances did she get a cock? There is unmined potential in a story about the why of her futa state and the biological and sociological consequences of having a peepee as an otherwise biological female.

That being said, the sex here is some of the most detailed and well-written I’ve seen of the stories entered into the contest so far. There’s a real passion here I enjoy about this work. My only other real complaint is that there’s not a lot of “Twilight-ness” to Twilight here. If Twilight was replaced by a biological male, I doubt I’d have been able to tell a difference, and in this instance, that’s a problem.

Still, this is a strong showing. Good on you.

9668641
That's a fair point, I kind of take the implication for granted
In all of my stories, futa's are born that way.
I think it would've been inappropriate for this fic to bring up the biological and sociological consequences explicitly
But both of those things did inform how I wrote her personality here

And yeah, I can see what you mean that she doesn't show some of the extremities of her character
Though I think it still matches Twilight's disposition very well
So I would disagree that she could be replaced by a male character
And it is important to the story that it's Velvet's child
If I had made it Shining Armour I don't think it'd fit at all

9668447
I have as strong a need for those sequels as Velvet did for Sparkle.

“You're not the only one looking to satisfy yourself, after all.” Velvet lowered her voice. “Girls get that itch between their legs too.”
... “Oh, you know.” Velvet looked away, feigning coyness. “The same thing that makes you need to take care of yourself?”
... “It can get strong for us too. It's never enough to just do it on my own.” ... And she was right. Us girls need it just as bad as you do.”

Her mom sort of unintentionally implying Twilight isn't a girl almost makes this read like Twilight is trans or intersex or something. But I think if that were the case some of these lines would come off as insensitive. Yet Velvet explicitly sees Twilight as her daughter and I don't think she'd be so insensitive to do that if this were the case. Speaking of:

“Your such a good daughter.”

*You're

This is porn though! Not a social drama. I think you sidestepped the "why" well enough and got to the "meat" of the story!

I just felt like being that person in the comments to point this out.

10188912
Thanks for being that person and commenting ^_^
I actually love it when people put more thought into my stories
Yes, it's porn, but I actually put a lot of thought into character and relationship dynamics

I didn't want to spell out things like gender dynamics too much cause that's not rly the point of the story
I agree it might be insensitive if she were trans or if it were anyone other than her mother
But in the case of this story, Twilight was born with a girl's body but also a dick
And this is unique to her, so she was more or less raised as a "special kind of girl"
And she thinks of other girls as "normal girls"
Not in a dysphoric way but in an "I don't understand them cause I'm different" kind of way
So when her mom uses girls to mean other-girls, not like Twilight
It's meant as "this feeling isn't unique to you because of your body. all girls feel this."
Which Twilight understands cause it's a conversation she's had her whole life
But low key, she's also just trying to dirty talk her

Velvet brought her free hand around to press her clit and softly gasped, thrusting her toy as deep as she could as she hit her peak. Her pussy spasmed and squeezed at the stiff toy and she wished it could throb back. She pressed her trembling thighs together, trapping her toy in place as she came, its vibrations still tickling her depths and prolonging her orgasm.

I read this fic over the course of a few months and was never able to get past this part up until recently. :fluttershbad:

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