• Published 10th Aug 2012
  • 31,867 Views, 617 Comments

Shipping Sickness - Skywriter



Twilight Sparkle and her bedside table: like two 'ships that pass in the night.

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Part Two

* * *
Shipping Sickness

or, Twilight Sparkle Gets Intimate With Her Table, Part Two

Jeffrey C. Wells

www.scrivnarium.net
* * *

Somewhere below, in the common room, a weary and inexplicably Failsafe spell-resistant drum kit looked up in the direction of the library loft.

"Ba dum pum," it said to itself. "Tish."

the end

Author's Note:

This story was originally slated to be much longer! If you're curious, you may take a look at the original opening scene, which is all that exists of the initial concept treatment. Currently this file exists at https://www.dropbox.com/s/54sakdwu2t2gka0/Shipping%20Sickness%20Deleted%20Scene.rtf?dl=0 . Thanks for reading!

Comments ( 345 )

Okay, commence DAFUQing, but before you do, let me just say a quick word of thanks to S.R. Foxley for the beta on this one. Given the actual end product, you may not believe this, but his influence markedly improved the final piece.

Awesome. Everything is better with a few puns.

PFFFFT. Gonna need help. Think I got a concussion from a truly epic face palm.

I am so very impressed.

Now that's a truly random story. Good work!

Ow, the puns! :rainbowlaugh:

Excellent example of well-done random humor, and punnery. And yes... that last line was a punch right into my sense of humor. :pinkiehappy:

Okay, why in the hay does this have 2 parts? Coudln't this have been wrapped up in one? You gave me false hope you monster! :raritycry::raritydespair:

There is something seriously wrong with you... And unfortunately, it's probably contagious, because I did laugh surprisingly hard.

Absolutely wonderful! I haven't genuinely laughed at something like that in so long! :rainbowlaugh:

Literally made me giggle in the office. Deeply amusing.

Oh good. Even if the Failsafe had worked, the drum kit probably would've spontaneously reanimated just to get in that last rimshot.

...Infinite slowclaps.
That was fantastic. Puns, puns everywhere! And the characters were amazingly funny!
You know how you know comedy is perfect? When the non-funny parts are good, too. I loved your statements on shipping, on romance, and on relationships. It was easy to forget, for a moment, that the lovestruck paramour of Twilight was a nightstand.
Oh, and that drumset was amazing. Perfect delivery. :pinkiehappy:

Unicorn magic is weird...

But puns are awesome!

1061429

Same boat here. hehe. :raritywink:

congrats, you've beaten the final level of fimfiction

please take this badge and complimentary mimosa

That is by far one of the best puns I have ever seen. The buildup is probably what made it.

Oh, you. :raritywink:

Even with the terrible puns, this was actually a very enjoyable story. Not a bad way to waste a few minutes. :twilightsmile:

I think I just read genius.

I have to say that the entire story to set up that ONE line was probably the best thing I have read in a long while. I envy your skill!

Much DAFUQing was done, and I loved every moment of it. All that for one pun. ONE PUN!

Yes. Well.

...it was Pinkie's I suppose.

All my win are belong to you

1061377
Sounds good to me, 'cuz whatever's wrong with Skywriter, I want it too.

You're probably going to hate me for this, but... what's the ending joke?? :twilightoops:

By far one of the best short stories I've read in a while :rainbowlaugh: crazy just for the sake of being crazy. No over exuberant randomness for the sake of randomness, no pinkie pie bending the laws of physics, just Twilight having one of her epic level mental breakdowns.

1061916 no i actualy read it as "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza" how did i not notice that...

ARG! THE PUNS! THEY BURN!

Arrrrgh!!! Keep firing!! Direct hit, Captain! She's goin down!
Ferdinand Feghoot would be proud.

The puns were terrible, and terribly well placed.

As for the sadness of losing Nightstand... well, she can always re-cast it on just Nightstand, right?
And maybe a transmogrification spell?

After all, if you're determined enough, she could easily make it work...

I don't ge-
Oh.
ARGH THE PUN

1061975

"Just a one nightstand"
"Just a one-night stand"

1062248 OOOH, so the phrase "one night stand" has two meanings? I did not know that, now I see... :twilightsheepish:

1062291

Oh my god no.

That's bad! You're bad, and you should feel bad!

This. All of this. It's brilliance. :pinkiehappy:

So.

Beautifully.

Puntastic.

I admit that I gigglegroaned when I read the last line...

I kept expecting Chairilee to show up and give her a lecture.

And where was Nightlight's #1 assistant, Spork, forever longing after their mutual friend, the beautiful and elegant Vanity?

The drumset must be Pinkies.

That was simply the most delightful aneurysm I've ever had! :raritystarry: Bravo!

Puns....furniture puns. I don't usually laugh out loud when I read a story, but when I do, it's because it has furniture puns....Brilliant I say. And dat:rainbowlaugh: ending....

Sweet princess Celestia, I think I have been serously overpunned. And I mean that in a good way :rainbowlaugh:
Totally enjoyed reading this. Bravo!

Bravo, Skywriter! The edits you made really pull this together and make it pop, eh! :pinkiehappy:

The two princesses walked in. Or, at least, a radiant white princess and some giant rust-red ball of fur wearing Luna's crown. Here it was: the lecture.

"Celestia! I'm so sorry," Twilight cringed. "And ... er ..." She stared at the four-legged dust trap. "What is that, I don't even."

A canine muzzle peeked through the layers of thick fur. "We are not amused, Twilight Sparkle."

Celestia's helpful attempt to look stern wasn't even in the same room as sincere.

"Okay ... perhaps with the benefit of hindsight we shall find this amusing," Luna allowed.

"But you still ought to be more careful," Celestia added, finally managing a mild maternalism.

"Or at least target her next time," Luna muttered under her breath.

"Wait, what do you mean? Did I do that?" Twilight cast frantically through her memory. There were the wards, and the Bring-To-Life spells ... but to turn Luna into some sort of ... wolf-thing ...?

Celestia coughed and discreetly hornpointed at the lush, imported sofa Twilight had animated the previous night. There, draped over the arm, was the Easily Forgettable Pun-Based Magical Feedback Device that Celestia had predictably forgotten after her visit last week.*

"Oh." Twilight gave the princesses her best sheepish look. That explained it.

Wait. No it didn't. "Er ... I don't get it. Why is Luna a shaggy dog?"

Luna sighed and shook her head, then removed the feedback device from the Irish settee.

* Only eight bits! Available now from MacGuffin industries.

I...am not entirely sure what just happened.

lol that was funy almost died :rainbowlaugh:

The story is so amazing!

Haven't read that many puns in one story ever before! This deserves all of the applauses. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

...

Good god, that is the single most amazing thing I have ever written. Screw sandwiches, this is my new bible!
...
Or something to that effect.

...Uhh...
<Insert wacky and entertaining pun here>

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