• Member Since 6th Mar, 2016
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Irrespective


If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

T
Source

It is a well-known fact that the ponies of Equestria, in general, do not wear clothes. From Princess Celestia all the way down to Applejack, it would seem that the only time ponies bother with such a frivolous thing is for special occasions.

But the truth is far more complicated than that. As it turns out, all of those ponies are dressed.

You just can't see it.


As seen on Equestria Daily!

Editors: Sipioc, Georg, Zen and Ponies

Cover art by the Right Most Awesome Sipioc

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 58 )

But wait... If someone's clothes are invisible... You can see through them... Then what's the point of--

Uh, Am I going anywhere with this?

9643924
I think you are confusing invisible with 'see throw'. The author must be talking about invisible in the sense similar to what chameleons do, their "ahem" noble parts, are hidden and their clothes are simple merge with their natural fur making us believe that they are nude when in reality they are not.

9643924
Don't think too hard about it. :twilightsmile:

Celestia glanced back at said backside, and she giggled with a shake of her rump. “Why not? I am told by many of the courtesans that no other rear can compare to my own.”

Either that's supposed to be 'courtier' or Celestia knew a lot of prostitutes back in the day. Could go either way, I suppose.

Huh, only Celestia.

I have managed to sum up this entire story in about 4 seconds. :trollestia:

And Thus did the Unicorn Rarity establish the Church of Luna on that very day, Admittance For A Reasonable Sum With Custom Robes For Every Occasion.

9644046
Either way. :trollestia:
9644070
That's why we love her so. :)
9644087
Yup, pretty much. :rainbowlaugh:
9644146
"And now, please open your hymnal to page 442, 'Taffeta Darling, Taffeta Dear.'" :pinkiehappy:

Now if only that little foal hadn't been caught stealing, then maybe history might've played out differently. :rainbowlaugh:

I wonder exactly when Celestia figured out she had been had, and just what her reaction to it was. :trixieshiftright:

I wasn't gonna read this story at first.

Then I saw the author name.

9644652
See, that really should have been your first warning to run away screaming. :pinkiecrazy:
9644573
Maybe I'll do an epilogue with that if this ends up being popular enough.
Maybe. :)

So does Celestia's husband, Baked Bean, know about this event in Equestrian history?

By the way, an early Happy Birthday to you, Irr!

9644865
Why thank you! :yay:
And no, Bean doesn't know. I'm undecided if this happens in the Boopverse or not.

9644916
Sorry if I didn't make you a present.

Also you're calling it the Boopverse?

Another lovely story by you, I enjoyed reading it.

9644964
Tis all good. :twilightsmile:
And I alternate between Beanverse and Boopverse. Either one, really. They both fit. :yay:
9644967
Glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

To quote my favourite author:

Supposing an emperor was persuaded to wear a new suit of clothes whose material was so fine that, to the common eye, the clothes weren't there. And suppose a little boy pointed out this fact in a loud, clear voice...
Then you have The Story of the Emperor Who Had No Clothes.
But if you knew a bit more, it would be The Story of the Boy Who Got a Well-Deserved Thrashing from His Dad for Being Rude to Royalty, and Was Locked Up.
Or The Story of the Whole Crowd Who Were Rounded Up by the Guards and Told 'This Didn't Happen, OK? Does Anyone Want to Argue?'
Or it could be a story of how a whole kingdom suddenly saw the benefit of the 'new clothes', and developed an enthusiasm for healthy sports in a lively and refreshing atmosphere which got many new adherents every year, and led to a recession caused by the collapse of the conventional clothing industry.
It could even be a story about The Great Pneumonia Epidemic of '09.
It all depends on how much you know.

...*considers it because its irrespective writing it...but honestly the emperor's new cloths was always his least favorite tale*
I'm really not sure if even you can make this one good for me irrespective, the tale always required 'too much' suspension of disbelif i always remmbered thinking any time i heard it that nobody could ever be that easily taken in, the only one dumber is the one about the king who was so lazy he hired someone to breath for him....*rolls eyes*

but on the other hoof you've worked such magic before...mmmf *ponders*

9645501
I see your dilemma.
Perhaps if I share this one little bit from the middle, it might help your decision.
Celestia slowly stood amidst a sea of whispers from the assembled ponies, and her stomach began to churn as she descended from her throne. Could they see this wondrous creation? She had never heard of an enchantment to turn a fabric invisible, but it was conceivable. Had the Unpleasantness with Luna somehow soiled her, and this was now a test from some dissenter from within to remove her from power? Even if it wasn’t, what would her ponies think of her if they could see what she could not?

She had been warned about showing weakness, especially at this critical moment when she needed to prove to the rulers of the surrounding lands that she was capable of ruling by herself. If word got out that she was somehow less than worthy, it would provide all the pretext the Griffons could ever need to begin their conquest of her lands and the enslavement of her ponies.

But! If it should be that you take the risk and end up hating the story, I will understand completely.

9645773

You might find this quite funny.

https://m.

Ah, a great retelling of a classic!
Well done.

"They must be beyond reproach in their personal dealings and completely pure in their very thoughts. If you were lacking in any of these attributes, you would see nothing but a wire frame before you."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "What I see, then, is a very poorly thought out garment. If I encounter a non-virtuous pony, the last thing I want is for them to see me without any clothing on. Go and make me one that works the other way around, or is just outright visible to everypony."

9645924
That's the way the story would go in the modern Equestria. :twilightsmile:

“Her Highness has quite the keen eye,” the nomad proclaimed. “I can see that you are only interested in the exceptionally rare. Perhaps I could interest you in something special? ”

Aladdin ^^

“Fourth, actually. Do ya really intend to sleep away the day, Highness?”

Meadowlark is my favorite.

Though I expected her to be the one to admit she couldn’t see the fabric, especially when the colt turned out to be a thief. Probably.

And I liked how Celestia’s guilt is why she falls for the whole thing.

And Rarity is now one of the few who actually knows how to make clothes, and the ancient pantomime is in for a sharp shock and some dissatisfied customers...

And I bet applejack and the apples were just going naked, no way they’d keep up the clothes charade :p

9645933
I bet going au natural makes it easier to buck apples and fix pig pens. :ajsmug:

9645951
I can’t decide if I prefer the Apples being looked down on as sinful and uncouth since they never see the celestial fabric, or it being an Apple Family’s Secret that no one talks about.

9645970
I like the latter, personally. :twilightsmile:

Honestly, I'm surprised that Celestia could be so thoroughly swindled like that. Then again, she was only a couple centuries old at this point, but still. I do rather like the image of Luna being aghast at all these "naked peasants".

Something else that just occurred to me: that merchant is totally the ancestor of Flim and Flam. Change my mind.

“Her Highness has quite the keen eye,” the nomad proclaimed. “I can see that you are only interested in the exceptionally rare. Perhaps I could interest you in something special? ”

Clever, you put Genie inside the story.

Wait, is the heretic Twilight, Celestia, or both?

In any case, excellent reasoning for how this situation could have befallen Celestia. And the ending was truly fantastic. I'm pretty sure Luna's going to end up being the figurehead of a fashionista coup if they don't fix this soon.

9646281
It would certainly explain their lanky build.

9646281
I doubt I could change your mind on that. Thus, it is most probably true. :yay:
9646400
Every now and then I can be clever. :trollestia:
9647085
Honestly? Probably both of them. :) Specifically she was referring to Twilight. :twilightsmile:
And I, for one, am all for such a fabulous coup. It will be bold, daring, and absolutely dripping in damask, without a doubt. :yay:

It is just me or does Celestia in the preview keep switching from white to pink.

9647331
Fun optical illusion, no? :yay:

This was fun to read, and a nice twist on the old story :twilightsmile:

There's an easy way to test this 'fabric' that no one to my knowledge has ever tried: set a match to it to see if it's fire-proof. Or throw something at it. Why, the tomato juice just went through like there was nothing there! What a miracle we have witnessed!

See, the point of the original tale was that the Emperor was a vain idiot, and so were the people of his Empire too stupid and cowardly to contradict him or believe the evidence of their own eyes. Andersen (the author of the most famous version) changed the ending to add in the boy's cry to illustrate the snobbery and hypocrisy of the nobility. It was a parody of the elite as well as the pervasiveness and delusional workings of ideological mentality.

One can also make the comparison to 'delicacies' afforded to the wealthy, most of which are actually quite repulsive to most people. It is apparently a signature characteristic of 'status' to enjoy consuming what most people would see as filth and refuse. Bird's nest soup (made of basically the spit of little birds that nest in caves) is one such example. And then we have civet coffee... look it up. :pinkiesick:

There so needs to be an epilogue chapter.

It definitely needs to involve Bean, probably laughing his butt off at this story, and either Celestia or Bean making a double entendre about one of the benefits of everyone being nude all the time.

And maybe a moment where Luna debuts her new fashion line with Rarity!

Which are nothing but socks, and the fashion world finds this completely scandalous!

Still on the featured list.

Congrats!

9648422
We shall see. Maybe. :twilightsmile:

9648449
:happy horse noises!: :yay:

This story is great, but there was a moment when I thought you were going to take it in a direction I've never seen any one else take . And that was when the colt was caught stealing, I wondered,'what if the merchent was
telling the truth? What if there really was a fancy dress and only Celestia could not see it?'
The story could have been a way to turn Celestia down a path of self doubt, perhaps leading to regret about banishing her sister, as she did not seem too broken up about it at the stories beginning.

9651959
Hmm, that is a very good point you make.
Perhaps a rewrite is in order.

Frankly, I thought the twist would be at the end, when Celestia and Luna were reunited, suddenly Celestia could now SEE her "dress" hanging on the wall ...

I half expected an epilogue set a thousand years later in which Baked Bean goes into his wife’s closet for something, and sees this beautiful gown made of a fabric he’s never seen before. When he points it out and asks about it, Celestia’s floored at the realization that there actually WAS a dress after all.

Not as bad as I feared...not sure about the zinger at the end but overall well written and nice.

9660470
I'll say it's a victory, then. :yay:

This was hysterical. Of course, "the emperer's new clothes" always was a funny story to me.

I admit I was expecting something more like this sabrina-online.com/strips/SO_sm57.GIF

Only slightly disappointed that the clothes weren't actually a real fabric that blended the illusion of fur to cover up unmentionable bits.
But it's still an excellent retelling!

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