Beginning of a new life
I can do this.
These are the only words going through his mind as he looks at his pathetic reflection in his pathetic mirror in his pathetic bathroom in his pathetic apartment, which is already weeks overdue in rent. I can do this!, he says in his head. Just two cuts and it’s over.
Jaden Dekay has always been a loser in his mind. He dropped out of high school his sophomore year. He’s lost job after job after job all the way to the point that no one wanted to hire him. So then he spent all the money he had on this raggedy-ass apartment that he still cannot afford. He had to live off of scraps he found in the dumpster somewhere, not caring if he came down with food poisoning or not.
Jaden is nineteen years old, six foot and three inches, and has a medium build. You would think that he would have a sports scholarship to some kind of university or college, but playing sports was never an interesting subject to him, nor any after school activity. Embarrassing enough, all he would ever do is go on his phone and watch countless episodes of My Little Pony. Yup, that’s right. Jaden is a brony. Hell, he even has an OC. But despite this, he wasn’t a total creepazoid like most stereotypical bronies are. He loved being social, he was funny, loved popping out of nowhere and shocking people, he had a bubbly personality, and loved throwing parties at his house. If you’re wondering, yes. Jaden Dekay is a slightly more laid back version of Pinkie Pie.
Despite all of these features Jaden has never had any friends before. Or at least any REAL friends before. He had a friend once, who soon stabbed him in the back in the worst way possible.
They were talking during passing period one day behind the school, and Jaden asked him if he could keep a secret. The friend said he could, so Jaden told his friend that he watched My Little Pony. The friend immediately started laughing and ran off, telling everyone “Dekay’s a brony! Dekay’s a brony!” Jaden was mortified and now the entire school knew his deepest, darkest, secret.
Jaden was the laughingstock of the school after that. Nobody wanted to hang out with him anymore, they called him names that would demonetize an entire YouTube channel in a millisecond. Jaden could ignore the insults but then it came to the point that they were actually beating him up behind the school. Jaden could’ve easily kicked their asses but he didn’t want to risk getting snitched on so he just took the beatings. The kids were probably going a little bit overboard but hey, it’s high school. To make matters worse he was in a foster home so his ‘parents’ didn’t really care about his well being.
After the fifth beating or so Jaden couldn’t stand being in that school anymore so he started to intentionally not do his homework, never study, fail all of his quizzes and tests, and act up in class in which students would normally get detention for doing. Finally, he was expelled from the school and his foster parents didn’t take that lightly. But when Jaden tried to explain to them what was happening to him they didn’t listen and forced him to pack his things in his duffel bag and leave the house and never come back.
His family cast him out, so did his so-called ‘friends’. Jaden has lost everything he has ever had. Now the only thing that he still has is his life. And now he wants to lose that too. And that is why he’s in the bathroom about to slit his wrists.
Jaden stands at the mirror with a shaky knife over an even more shaky wrist. He has been trying to muster the courage for a week, but he could never take that final leap. Today was no exception.
“AAAHHHHH!!!” He yells in fit of rage as he throws the knife out of the bathroom windows. Suddenly he feels an intense felling of dread, and falls to his knees and begins to cry. Jaden’s sobs echo out through the apartment for around ten minutes.
“Why am I doing this to myself?” He asks himself as he stands up and walks out of his bathroom towards his mattress. “I’m done feeling sorry for myself!” Jaden said with a newfound determination. “I’m going to get back on my feet one way or another!” But that feeling of determination was short-lived as he fell face first on his mattress, and began to sob, overcome with a feeling of hopelessness. “But how can I get back on my feet when I have no money, no job, no credibility, and most importantly, no friends or family to support me?! I just want another chance!!” Jaden screamed while he continued to sob for about 30 minutes.That is, until he began to experience a excruciatingly painful headache.
“RRRRRRRRRGGHHH!!!” Jaden half-grunts half-screams in pain as he clutches his head. “If this day couldn’t get any worse!” As if on cue the headache becomes nigh unbearable. “Dammit, I had to ask?! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!” Jaden shrieks as tears begin to well up in his eyes from the unbearable pain. His mind seems to answer his prayers as it completely shuts down. “Owww...” Jaden mumbles as he goes completely under and falls limp on his mattress.
“Uuuuggghhh...” he groans as he finally comes to. What happened? He thinks to himself as he opens his eyes and looks around. It seems as if I am in some kind of forest. A really cartoony-looking forest at that. He moves his hand to his head to rub it, but instead of being met by his fingers, he’s met by a furry, flat surface. “Ahh!” He yelps as he jerks the appendage away from his head to look at it. But instead of seeing a brown hand, his eyes are met by a green hoof.
“GAAAAHH!!” He screams as he stares wide eyed at the hoof. How and why the hell is my hand a hoof?! He asks himself as he takes a glance at his other arm and his legs were supposed to be. And as he suspects, he sees three more green hooves instead of two legs and an arm. But instead of a gasp of fear he lets out a gasp of excitement. “Wait...could it be?” He asks with a slight smile as he uses his right hoof to fell his back. I have wings! Pretty big ones too!! His smile grows as he looks at his flank. On his flank is a ribbon of colorful lights with a white and blue star on the end. Then with an even wider smile he ran to a nearby puddle to look at his reflection. And what he saw made him whoop in joy. “WHOOOOOOOO!!”
He continues to laugh and cheer and run around in circles because he knows the universe has given him another chance.
As his own My Little Pony OC,
Luminous Skies.
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...Is this gonna end up being a 'seventh element' cliche or worse; you follow the main mlp plot and it doesn't matter what your character does, it will never cause the butterfly effect where he ends up changing the events to his presence/actions?
Do not fret, I’m going to add butterfly effect so it won’t be a total flop. C’mon, I ain’t that low!
(P.S, Cut me some slack this is my first story and I’m only sixteen years old!)
9649479
Do not fret, I will add the butterfly affect to this story. Come on cut me some slack this is my first story and I’m only sixteen years old!
Also I’m pretty sure at least 25% of the brony population imagined their OCs as an element of harmony. I was just tired of imagining and decided to write a fic of my own.
9649479
But thank you for the feedback!
9649551
As long as you avoid alot of cliches that most human turned pony in equestria stories do, and that your character does not become a mary-sue/forms a harem/befriends and/or meets the mane six easily/is suddenly the chosen one/becomes the seven element/follows the main plot/becomes powerful.
9649612
Lucky for you that is exactly what I’m trying to refrain from doing!
9649612
Especially not the harems or chosen one.
9649612
Again, thank you for the advice!😁
9649681
There's an edit button for a reason, you don't have to send three different messages.
9649716
Sorry about that the first few messages didn’t seem to go through on my phone. It’s kinda slow.
Hey. I'll read it.
i.pinimg.com/originals/d5/b5/0f/d5b50f03f51079bee178b6d3258fd3af.png
9724184
Happy reading!
A rather common beginning, but with a rather nice flow to it and quite solid grammar (just watch out for inconsistent tense use), so I’m going to continue reading and see where this goes. A few things that made me stop and wonder though: Why is being a brony viewed as such a bad thing in the school? And also, I understand that the foster parents were ignorant, and possibly so was the school counsellor (Funnily enough, that’s a fairly common occurence IRL.), but why couldn’t Jaden contact some of the anti-bullying organisations?
9811464
Jaden did not go to any because word would get around that he was going to any organization and he thought that everyone would call him a snitch or a pussy for informing the authorities and just bully him even more.