Prithee and well met, thou tempestuous witch of storms, to alight so delicately upon the jet streams of the cerulean sky. Welcome to Spirit Airlines.
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When I was a foal, I despised Apple Bloom more than anypony else in the world. Years later, my feelings have changed, and so have Apple Bloom and I. But some things will always be the same: she will always be honest, and I will always be a liar. To her, to my parents, to the world—and to myself.
2nd Place Finalist (Tied) in the 2019 EFNW Iron Author competition. Set several years after the show, as per the prompt.
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I loved this, but it also broke my heart because I adore Diamond Tiara.
An absolutely gorgeous story, and that emotional gut punch at the end was amazing. Bravo!
Although I did not have a chance to say hello, it was great to see you at EFNW. And of course congratulations on this story and especially for the amazing script that you wrote!
Wonderful gut punch here.
Well. Now I need a drink.
(Upvoted.)
This has more pathos jammed into it than I thought possible for a story of this length.
Those lesbian magical ponies won't ship themselves—and that's the problem, they aren't shipping themselves. C'mon, Diamond, step up.
Fantastic.
Least she knows herself.
Ah, very nice.
My heart...
This hits way too close to home for me...
This was good.
I feel it didn't go anywhere and left so much open, but it was well written and emotional.
Which story was the first place winner?
Haunting.
Damn, this was absolutely brilliant.
Hello, again! I was the one who asked about the <artificial artifice> line at EFNW. I've really, really put off revisiting this to give you proper feedback. Sorry. Things have been... busy.
This leans a little too far into the poetic side that it sounds a little odd. Most people would omit one of those words, I think, like <but always must gleam> or <but must still gleam>. Even so, I like the subtle nod to Silver Spoon, as it would obviously be something Diamond Tiara would think about.
I don't think it's strictly necessary, but I want to read this with a pause after <Though>, so it could use a comma.
This feels like a little slip of her diction. I don't feel like, the way you've been writing her up until this point, she would say <way drunker> over something like <far more drunk>, especially considering how poetic your language is.
To get overly technical, isn't "brunch" already a combined word formed from "breakfast" and "lunch," thereby making a very late breakfast already skirt into brunch territory, and a late brunch just be a lunch? My point is, couldn't this be simplified down to either <breakfast-slash-lunch> or <very late brunch>?
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Something I unfortunately didn't get to talk about back at EFNW (not that I would have expected to have that much time, what with you being surrounded after the panel), but that I love the poetic use of language in this. Like, for instance, how you come back to the same metaphors of gears, apples, and gemstones in the story, or your repeated small usage of alliteration. Doing this whole thing in first-person POV does grant you some leeway in how things are phrased, especially given your POV is the high-class (and therefore "highly" educated) Diamond Tiara, but I'm still a sucker for stories that can make me whip out a dictionary.
There's also some great lines that show so much character, often in very few words. Like, this one:
It can be so easy, especially in first-person, to just outright use words to describe emotion, but here you manage to paint such a clear picture of regret, of love, of bitterness, while still revealing just how much lying is a part of Diamond Tiara's character.
So, yeah, suffice to say, I liked it.
Is there a sequel?
Very well-written, gut-wrenching and great characterization coming through the narration.
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #90.
My review can be found here.
ugh, damn, so good :D
Read this a while ago, and it still held up.
I like this ship. It works as a young and fresh style of the "Princess and the peasant" romance. (like, I don't know if that's a thing because I'm just spitballing)
The emotions felt genuine. It's true that sometimes we would feel that hiding things like feelings is a good thing, but more often than not, the hidden secret just torture us to no end.
Great story. Loneliness is the eternal theme.
Until next time.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!